Why I have no desire to write a memoir

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Living in the society and economy that we do there is always a temptation to capitalise on any perceived “value” that we may hold. Because why wouldn’t you in a world that is constantly trying to take as much money out of our pockets as possible. If there’s an easy way to earn some extra dollars then it makes sense.

As a male escort with over thirteen years of experience helping women in Australia it is fair to say that I have a story that has some “value”. People will occasionally ask me if I’m ever going to write a memoir. And my answer to that is: no, I have no plans to write a memoir.

There are two reasons why.

The first: I don’t actually think that my work makes for a compelling story. The vast majority of what I do is pretty simple. Someone contacts me, tells me a little about who they are and why they want to see me. We arrange a time to meet. We meet, spend some time getting comfortable with each other, usually over a glass of wine, or a cup of tea, or perhaps a meal. We spend some time having sex. Then they go on their way.

My work is not dining in fancy restaurants, going to shows, staying in expensive hotels, and having wild sex – there may be a little of “the high life” thrown in there occasionally, but for the most part it’s meeting normal women and couples and helping them to have a sexual experience that they need or want. No more or less than that.

And honestly that is perfect for me. I really enjoy this work, but as a natural introvert I wouldn’t enjoy “partying” five days a week.

So my sex work “story” isn’t going to be gossip about scandalous parties and high profile celebrities etc (which I wouldn’t share anyway). It would have to be about real people and their lives and challenges and experiences.

Which brings me to the second reason: that is something that I will never share – because I am sure that in anything that I write about my work, the clients involved would be able to see themselves, even if I didn’t mention them directly, they would still know that I was talking about them.

I feel that would be a betrayal of the trust that every woman puts in me to protect her privacy and her well being when she makes a booking. I don’t believe that there is any need for me to share this sort of personal story beyond what I already share in a small way on this website – always with permission from the person concerned. It wouldn’t make the world a better place if I were to share these stories. It would only be cynical grab for some cash by me.

The only thing that I can think of that might be worth writing is – with the permission of the people involved – some kind of documentation of their personal journey in regards to seeing a sex worker. That wouldn’t really be a memoir of mine, but more likely very specific miniature biographies of my clients – and the purpose would be to help other women in a similar situation to improve their lives.

I can’t think of any other justification honestly.

John

Sexstortion?

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Ok, this wasn’t something I had on my 2023 bingo card – “Sextortion”. But I really shouldn’t be surprised I suppose. In this day and age of ever expanding online scamming, hacking, and spamming, lonely people looking for a connection really are an ideal target for people with no scruples and a desire for quick money.

So what is “sextortion”? From the article:

“…scammers are known to use sophisticated tactics to ensnare and exploit unwary love-seekers, engaging in what is increasingly known as “sextortion.” This worrying trend sees deceivers using emotional leverage to coerce individuals into sharing personal and often sensitive information or images, which can then be used as a means of extortion”

https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2023/11/10/is-online-dating-making-you-an-easy-target-for-sextortion-a-psychologist-explains/

I remember when scam emails claiming to have “hacked my web cam” started doing the rounds a while ago. The email claimed they had video of my doing unmentionable things and were going to share the videos of me with my family and friends and work colleges if I didn’t pay them a sum of bitcoin.

At the time I had a bit of a laugh about it because my webcam isn’t plugged in unless I’m using it, so it was clearly just a shotgun spray of emails to thousands or millions of email addresses in the hope of finding a few people who could be convinced to hand over money.

Clearly the tactics have evolved (even though I still get the “webcam scam” emails occasionally). So since many of the women I meet are actively using dating sites, or planning to, I think this is a good topic to cover.

I think that most people are aware of the basics of online safety, but it bares repeating in this case – be careful, trust your instincts, if something feels off (or too good to be true) then walk away.

Stay safe out there!

John

Ask me anything…

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If you could ask me any question what would it be? About me, about male escorts, about the industry, about a date with me, or something else?

Drop a comment below, email john@john-oh-escort.com, or text 0437 520 539 and I’ll do my best to answer it for you.

So I have a few questions that have come in overnight. Thank you to everyone who contributed! I’ll add more questions and answers as they arrive.

Here are a couple to get started, but you can read them all here.

Q. What happens if you don’t find me attractive?

A. In the thirteen years I have been working as a male escort this has never happened. No, all of my clients are not super models! Most of my clients are normal women with all of the variety of looks and body type that comes with.

I am extremely lucky though that I really only meet decent people who are respectful of me and I can make a connection with. I think that this comes in large part from the fact that the vast majority of women who book with me take the time to read a lot of my posts here on this website and in doing so they get a clear picture of who I, what I value, and what I offer. The women who choose to see me generally share my values and therein lies the key – if we can get along and have fun together out of bed, then that for me is the foundation of attraction in bed.

Q. Is sex work legal?

A. The answer to that question is “it depends”. Australia is one the most progressive nations in the world when it comes to sex work. New Zealand is as well, but they were a bit slower off the mark!

The bottom line is that here in New South Wales in Australia (and Victoria, The Australian Capital Territory, and the Northern Territory) sex work is decriminalised – meaning that it is treated like any other job and not regulated in any way specific to sex work (there are minor exceptions to this but they won’t effect you as a client).

Queensland, Tasmania, and Western Australia all allow sex work, but it is regulated or or less harshly in those states. South Australia remains the only state to effectively criminalise any form of sex work (South Australia needs to do better).

Q. Do the interactions with clients feel transactional?

A. No they don’t feel that way for me and I do my level best to make sure that they don’t feel that way for my clients. I like to be informal, to chat and have fun together. I treat every booking like I’m on a date with someone I’ve just met and am looking forward to getting to know better.

Q. Do you talk dirty to your clients? Do you mind if a woman wants you to talk dirty to her?

A. Dirty talk can be a fun part of sex – if that is something that works for you! I have no problem with being asked to talk dirty and will happily oblige, but it’s not something I will initiate as not everyone likes or wants it. So please feel free to ask!

Read all the questions and answers here!

Continue reading →

Sometimes it’s hard to decide…

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Seeing a male escort is not an easy thing to do for any woman. There are safety concerns, privacy concerns, even just the logistics of meeting can be difficult. By far though I believe that the biggest hurdle is making the decision to.

This is why almost all women who come to see me take from weeks to six months or even more from the time that they first find my website to the moment they decide to contact me. In that time many will read most or even all of my blog posts and articles.

It is not an easy or simple decision to make, especially when considering all of the above – and the cost as well.

So I thought I might share some factors that might make the decision a little easier.

If you are worried about safety, then I am very happy to do whatever you need to feel comfortable. I am always happy to meet in public, say at a cafe, at no cost to let you meet me and decide if I am the right male escort for you.

If you do decide to make a booking then you are welcome to come to me. I have a modern apartment to host our date, so there is no extra cost and privacy concern that comes with booking a hotel room for us. I also have secure off street parking available.

And when you arrive you are never under any obligation. I never ask for payment upfront and only ask to be paid when our session is over. If you feel that you want or need to leave at any time for any reason, then I don’t want the consideration of money having already been paid to effect your decision.

I have always guaranteed my service – if you aren’t happy, then you don’t pay. I feel this is important given the unreliability of many of the men in this industry and I try to hold myself to a higher standard.

Lastly – if you are unsure, then you can always talk to me. Call, text, email me any time and I will make the time to answer all of your questions.

John

PSA for men – Vibrators are an ally, not competition

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I was talking to a woman recently on the matter of penis size.  She was confirming that yes indeed she and pretty much every other woman she knows much prefers a modest size penis and that large ones are just uncomfortable or painful when having penetrative sex.  What matters far more to the pleasure of sex is the confidence of the owner of the penis than its actual size.

To that end the discussion turned to vibrators and an experience that she had with a man who while he was reasonably confident with his penis he was vastly threatened by her owning a vibrator!  He felt that it was an attack on his prowess as a lover.

So lets be really clear guys – you need to let that insecurity go.  A woman you are dating would prefer to get her pleasure from you rather than a device if at all possible.  Just like you would rather receive pleasure from that woman than masturbate alone.

Everyone responds to sexual stimulation differently and has their own preferences.  If a woman needs or just enjoys stronger clitoral stimulation than you can provide, then that is just a fact of who she is and not a failing on your part. If she wants to use a vibrator while having sex, then treat that as just a part of the fun and find ways to make that work for both of you.

John

A night out in Newtown

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I love Newtown in Sydney. It’s a bit grungy (still. It used to be a lot more so!) and on a Friday night it has plenty going on. From a wide variety of restaurants, to ice-cream shops, the Dendy theatre, to pubs, adult shops, and of course lots of people.

So last night – after visiting the excellent Sushi Train Newtown (on the corner of King and William St) I spent a couple of hours walking King St and taking photos.

Now I don’t consider myself to have the right personality for street photography – street photographers tend to be either really gregarious or pushy and obnoxious, so it takes me out of my comfort zone to take photos this way. It was fun though and I managed to capture some images that I quite like, so I thought I’d share some of them…

John

Summer is coming – time for the beach!

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As we head into what is shaping up to be a pretty warm summer I wanted to say – if you’re thinking of booking a date with me and want more than just a sexy indoor session then how about a trip to the beach? If you are feeling daring then we could visit one of Sydney’s nude beaches, like Cobbler, or (my favourite) Little Congwong beach on Botany Bay. There are few things that I enjoy more than the sun, sand, and water and it’s nice to be able to share it with someone!

So perhaps lunch at a cafe, a couple of hours of sun and water, and then an evening of pleasure in…

John

If you are wondering what that might look like then check out my film A Grand Day Out!

WARNING
this short film contains nudity and is NOT SAFE FOR WORK

PSA for couples – how to have a good threesome

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There are plenty of pitfalls for couples wanting to try a threesome.  Here’s a short list to help you have the best experience possible:

  • Do you both want to do it?  I have seen many couples who are both into the experience and have a great time.  I have also seen couples where the woman clearly was just going along with what her partner wanted.  It’s awkward and is rarely satisfying for anyone involved.  If your partner isn’t enthusiastic about the idea – or at the very least happy to give it a go then it’s not going to be great
  • Do you know what each other’s limits are (and those of the third person)?  Limits, knowing them, and sharing them is essential.  If you don’t tell your partner that you aren’t comfortable with something happening in your threesome and they assume that you are then the whole experience can be ruined.  You all need to work out where your limits are and then stick to them
  • Do you have a plan?  So you are both keen to try a threesome, but do you know how you want it to go?  It’s fine to say “lets just start with a massage and see where it goes” if you have already worked out your limits and you can all just explore within them.  Personally, I’m straight, so if I’m with a male/female couple, then I won’t be playing with him and expect that both of us will be concentrating on his partner, that’s a hard limit for me in a threesome.  Conversely I have had sessions with couples that are highly scripted where we explore a fantasy that they have taken lots of time to work out and know exactly what they want. Either of these – or anywhere in between is fine, just so long as you are all on the same page
  • Do you know what you will do if it’s not working for either of you?  It’s ok if things don’t go exactly as you had hoped in your threesome, but if that happens then you need to have agreed ahead of time how you will deal with that.  It’s ok for things to not go as planned – especially when you are new to threesomes – just be sure that you are ready if it doesn’t work and have a strategy to pause or end the play
  • Are you ready to make discoveries about yourself and your partner? To borrow (and reframe) a saying from Muhammad Ali: everyone has a plan until they see their partner having sex with another person. What I mean by that is we think that we know how we would feel in a threesome, but when we get there we might have a very different response. It could be better than we expected, or not. Neither is right or wrong, we are just learning about ourselves – but you need to be ready for the unexpected

So that is a short list that I think about and discuss with your partner if you are planning on trying a threesome. And if you are ready then drop me a line and lets have some consensual fun!

John

P.S. I looked for a stock photo that I could use for this article, since I haven’t ever taken any “threesome” relevant photos – and boy does the internet have opinions about threesomes and what they look like (almost always two women and one man). I always enjoy seeing men secure and comfortable enough in themselves and their relationship to be ready to make their partner the focus of a threesome rather than themselves.

My body and how I want it to be

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I’m pretty comfortable with my body – extremely comfortable really.  I am lucky to have been pretty healthy my entire life and had the opportunity and inclination to exercise and participate in sports.

However over time everyone’s metabolism slows and we are inclined to put on weight. I’m no exception and it’s something that I have worked hard at over the years to manage.

Another aspect that I wasn’t expecting is that in recent times I have developed a lot more upper body mass – muscle.  When I was in my thirties I was always lean and very light.  It was a real advantage for me when I was rock climbing on faces that were not an overhang (where absolute strength really comes into play and having a low centre of gravity isn’t so important).  It was also good for me when I was cycling and running.

Then about ten years ago for no reason that I know of my body decided that upper body muscle was new goal and my shoulders and arms filled out.  I’ll never be “big” like some men are, which I’m very happy about honestly, but I’m a lot more solid and stronger than I once was.

The last few years of physical work required by the business that I started during the pandemic has only built on those gains and I have to say that I remain very happy with my body in general.

However.  I am not overly happy with my bodies more recent propensity to build up it’s fat reserves.  So it’s time for some directed action to reverse the trend.

As someone who is tall and relatively broad, I can put on ten kilograms and it is not particularly noticeable, which is a trap.  It’s easy to ignore how my body is changing, especially since it’s only gradual.  But enough is enough.  It’s time for action.

I’m not going to tell anyone how to lose weight.  Your personal history, medical issues, food culture that you grew up with etc are all going to effect what does and doesn’t work for you – this isn’t medical advice of any sort!  For me what I know is this: carbohydrates are my enemy – and as someone who loves few things more than rice, pasta, potatoes (in all their forms), and bread (I literally ran a bakery once), that’s a real blow.

I know that if I am going to lose some weight and keep it off then I need to be significantly reducing, or better yet eliminating carbohydrates from my diet.

So that’s what I’ve done. Along with reducing my eating to two meals per day, implementing intermittent fasting (I eat my two meals at 1.00pm and 5.00pm), increasing my exercise, increased my water intake, and supplementing electrolytes, magnesium (which I’m always low on and leads to muscle fatigue), B group vitamins, and a multi-vitamin.

Here’s what’s happened so far:

  • I’m not hungry between meals
  • I had headaches for the first couple of days.  Adding the electrolytes, and B group vitamins fixed that
  • I don’t have any cravings for sweet things.  In fact I don’t have any cravings at all and when I get to a meal time I’m still not hungry
  • When I exercise I have a lot more energy.  I typically swim 1000 meters two or three times per week and feel exhausted afterwards. This week I’ve consistently swum 1500 meters and get out feeling like I could do the same again.  I’m also walking fifteen kilometers per day rather than my usual nine – and still feeling fine afterwards
  • And the result in terms of my weight: I’m down by 1.5 kilograms.

More importantly though I can see the change in my body when I look in the mirror and I like where it’s going.  To anyone reading this – please don’t feel that this post is making any demands on you.  It’s nothing more than my personal journey to reach a body shape that I am happy with that lets me do the things that I want to do.  I see women of all shapes and sizes and I enjoy all of your bodies!

I hope that for anyone undertaking, or considering their own weight loss journey that it might be helpful and provide some inspiration.

John