Category Archives: Couples

If you and your partner are interested in engaging the services of a male escort, then these articles and posts may be of interest to you.

Ask me anything…

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If you could ask me any question what would it be? About me, about male escorts, about the industry, about a date with me, or something else?

Drop a comment below, email john@john-oh-escort.com, or text 0437 520 539 and I’ll do my best to answer it for you.

So I have a few questions that have come in overnight. Thank you to everyone who contributed! I’ll add more questions and answers as they arrive.

Here are a couple to get started, but you can read them all here.

Q. What happens if you don’t find me attractive?

A. In the thirteen years I have been working as a male escort this has never happened. No, all of my clients are not super models! Most of my clients are normal women with all of the variety of looks and body type that comes with.

I am extremely lucky though that I really only meet decent people who are respectful of me and I can make a connection with. I think that this comes in large part from the fact that the vast majority of women who book with me take the time to read a lot of my posts here on this website and in doing so they get a clear picture of who I, what I value, and what I offer. The women who choose to see me generally share my values and therein lies the key – if we can get along and have fun together out of bed, then that for me is the foundation of attraction in bed.

Q. Is sex work legal?

A. The answer to that question is “it depends”. Australia is one the most progressive nations in the world when it comes to sex work. New Zealand is as well, but they were a bit slower off the mark!

The bottom line is that here in New South Wales in Australia (and Victoria, The Australian Capital Territory, and the Northern Territory) sex work is decriminalised – meaning that it is treated like any other job and not regulated in any way specific to sex work (there are minor exceptions to this but they won’t effect you as a client).

Queensland, Tasmania, and Western Australia all allow sex work, but it is regulated or or less harshly in those states. South Australia remains the only state to effectively criminalise any form of sex work (South Australia needs to do better).

Q. Do the interactions with clients feel transactional?

A. No they don’t feel that way for me and I do my level best to make sure that they don’t feel that way for my clients. I like to be informal, to chat and have fun together. I treat every booking like I’m on a date with someone I’ve just met and am looking forward to getting to know better.

Q. Do you talk dirty to your clients? Do you mind if a woman wants you to talk dirty to her?

A. Dirty talk can be a fun part of sex – if that is something that works for you! I have no problem with being asked to talk dirty and will happily oblige, but it’s not something I will initiate as not everyone likes or wants it. So please feel free to ask!

Read all the questions and answers here!

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PSA for couples – how to have a good threesome

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There are plenty of pitfalls for couples wanting to try a threesome.  Here’s a short list to help you have the best experience possible:

  • Do you both want to do it?  I have seen many couples who are both into the experience and have a great time.  I have also seen couples where the woman clearly was just going along with what her partner wanted.  It’s awkward and is rarely satisfying for anyone involved.  If your partner isn’t enthusiastic about the idea – or at the very least happy to give it a go then it’s not going to be great
  • Do you know what each other’s limits are (and those of the third person)?  Limits, knowing them, and sharing them is essential.  If you don’t tell your partner that you aren’t comfortable with something happening in your threesome and they assume that you are then the whole experience can be ruined.  You all need to work out where your limits are and then stick to them
  • Do you have a plan?  So you are both keen to try a threesome, but do you know how you want it to go?  It’s fine to say “lets just start with a massage and see where it goes” if you have already worked out your limits and you can all just explore within them.  Personally, I’m straight, so if I’m with a male/female couple, then I won’t be playing with him and expect that both of us will be concentrating on his partner, that’s a hard limit for me in a threesome.  Conversely I have had sessions with couples that are highly scripted where we explore a fantasy that they have taken lots of time to work out and know exactly what they want. Either of these – or anywhere in between is fine, just so long as you are all on the same page
  • Do you know what you will do if it’s not working for either of you?  It’s ok if things don’t go exactly as you had hoped in your threesome, but if that happens then you need to have agreed ahead of time how you will deal with that.  It’s ok for things to not go as planned – especially when you are new to threesomes – just be sure that you are ready if it doesn’t work and have a strategy to pause or end the play
  • Are you ready to make discoveries about yourself and your partner? To borrow (and reframe) a saying from Muhammad Ali: everyone has a plan until they see their partner having sex with another person. What I mean by that is we think that we know how we would feel in a threesome, but when we get there we might have a very different response. It could be better than we expected, or not. Neither is right or wrong, we are just learning about ourselves – but you need to be ready for the unexpected

So that is a short list that I think about and discuss with your partner if you are planning on trying a threesome. And if you are ready then drop me a line and lets have some consensual fun!

John

P.S. I looked for a stock photo that I could use for this article, since I haven’t ever taken any “threesome” relevant photos – and boy does the internet have opinions about threesomes and what they look like (almost always two women and one man). I always enjoy seeing men secure and comfortable enough in themselves and their relationship to be ready to make their partner the focus of a threesome rather than themselves.

PSA for men – Erotic massage for women

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To all of men out there who would like to give their wife or partner a special experience – suggesting she see a full service sex worker is probably not the fist thing that she would like to do!

However there is every chance that she might enjoy an erotic massage.

Most people are familiar with massage and plenty of people have probably wondered what it would be like to have a massage from someone attractive who might go – a little bit further…

So what does an erotic massage involve and include?

Location: personally I like to give an erotic massage on a bed rather than a massage table as it allows for a wider range of activities, but either works.

(Un)dress: here’s one of the nicest things (I think) about an erotic massage – you get to do away with the strategically placed towels and avoiding of areas that we would really like to be massaged, but never get touched. Your masseur can be dressed, or naked too, whichever you desire.

How it feels: Gentle massage that is designed to arouse. It might include not just hands, but forearms, trailing hair, and even full body slide…

Where it goes: wherever she wants it to. It could be as little a fully naked massage just of her back, or of her front too. There can be breast massage and nipple play. There can be massage of inner thighs and outer labia. There can be clitoral play, finger play, and even oral sex.

Where it doesn’t go: anywhere that you are not comfortable for it to go.

Where it ends: with an orgasm for her if that is where she wants it to end.

Erotic massage with me is a sensual indulgence that lets a woman have as much or as little intimacy as she desires.

So – to all of the men out there who want to give their partner a special experience, an erotic massage is a great option!

John

Getting enough sex

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The Guardian runs a regular column called “Sexual Healing” and while I rarely find anything more than safe platitudes in the columnist’s replies to readers’ problems, I do think that the topics are often important and deserve a better response than “Partners have to teach each other how they like to be pleasured”. I think we worked that out back in the sixties, possibly the seventies… We know that and it has precisely nothing to do with the woman in question’s dilemma.

In this particular article the reader raises a very difficult topic

I left my husband because the sex was boring and nonexistent. I’ve since met another guy and while our sex life was great for a while, when we moved in together it all but disappeared.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/jul/14/i-left-my-husband-because-the-sex-was-boring-now-im-having-the-same-problem-with-my-new-partner

This is a problem that I as a straight male escort for women I hear all the time – and I know that female sex workers hear it from male clients too.

This is a universal problem for human beings – mismatched libidos.

So lets start with some fundamentals:

  • You may naturally have a low libido, or a high libido – neither is “right” or “wrong”
  • Your libido will change during your life. It is effected by hormones, stress, sleep, work schedule, age, and more
  • Attraction between people changes over time and with that the sexual relationship almost certainly will change as well

Here’s the most important one:

  • Societal norms including marriage, monogamy, the “nuclear family”, education, and career are almost always prioritised over our sexuality and as a result we rarely have happy, fulfilling sex lives

So that’s the groundwork laid. So lets go back to the reader’s problem:

  • She has a high libido
  • Her husband wasn’t interested
  • She left her husband to get the sex that she wanted
  • She found a guy and was having great sex with him
  • She moved in with him and the sex died
  • She found out that he looks at porn
  • She is back to square one in an almost sexless relationship

I’m pretty sure that you can see that the columnist saying “Partners have to teach each other how they like to be pleasured…” does nothing to untangle this woman’s mess. They were having good sex, so I’m pretty sure that they both knew what each other wanted.

So here’s how I would reply to her:

It appears from your description that you aren’t hungry for variety and novelty in your sex life (as some people are), but that you would happily have lots of sex with one partner.

The problem isn’t your partner’s libido – at least it’s not fair to blame that – the problem is monogamy and the expectation that one person can give you all of the sex that you need (and to be clear this applies equally if the genders are reversed).

Many people automatically assume that sex means relationship means marriage means happily ever after. It’s a lie. A lie that makes most of us more or less unhappy in our long term relationships (just look at divorce rates if you reflexively disagree with that statement).

The hard reality is that long term relationships almost always change the way that we see our partner (and ourselves), how we feel about them, and the way in which we are attracted to them. The changes may be positive or negative or something else altogether. But we will change – and that includes how we feel about our partner and ourselves sexually. So expecting the fire and intensity and frequency of “new relationship sex” to endure beyond the “new relationship” is not reasonable and may well wreck the good things that do endure or grow with a partner.

One of the primary reasons for married women coming to see me is that they are generally happy in their relationship with their partner, but they just can’t get the sex that they want. So rather than blowing up their lives (and their partner and often children’s lives) “just” for sex, they find a different way to fill that need. For some women that means coming to see me – but that’s not what I’m advocating for here, it’s just one solution among several.

I’m advocating for changing the way you look at sex and long term relationships. Requiring a long term partner in a monogamous relationship to fill all of your sexual needs is usually going to end up with you wanting more than they can give – based on what you have said. The only difference between one partner and another will be by how much you feel you are missing out on.

Then that frustration spill over and poisons the rest of the relationship and… well you have lived the experience of where that leads.

The solution is: accept that if you want to be in a long term committed relationship that, because you have a high libido, you won’t get all of the sex you need from that one person so you are going to have to work out an arrangement with them that lets you get it with someone (or more) outside the relationship.

Of course this means that you have to extend your partner the same privilege. In that lies the opportunity to perhaps do it together – which might be its own kind of fun. I have known a number of clients who went down this path, initially seeing me to fill a personal need for sex, but eventually negotiating with a partner to explore their sexuality together with other people. Other clients have negotiated with their partners to play separately. Some simply choose to see me every month or two.

The point is that if you have a high libido you need to look for solutions beyond expecting one person to give you everything that you need sexually to be happy. It’s not easy. It’s not convenient. And it will require significant effort to make it work – and you won’t be able to make it work with some partners. But if you can then you might just discover an entirely new life that is rewarding in more ways than just giving you the sex that you need.

John.

More about pregnancy, sex, and seeing a sex worker

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After I posted a few weeks ago about women who are pregnant and wanting to see a sex worker I had a conversation on the topic with a woman who is a midwife. Since she is a medical professional I thought I would share some of her thoughts about sex while pregnant – with the warning of course that you must talk to your doctor or midwife about these issues and not rely solely on anything I write here. While this information may be relevant generally, it may not be right for you, so please take the time to discuss it further with the professionals you trust. Hopefully it can act as a starting point for an informative conversation.

So the main point that was made to me was that I made it sound like having “sex while pregnant is inherently risky for everyone whereas there are really only a couple of specific conditions where we recommend not having sex”. I may have made it sound more risky with my disclaimer, but I do so because I want to be quite clear that I’m not giving medical advice and not qualified to do so.

So there you have it – what you need to be doing specifically is determine if you have any specific condition that might make sex a risk to your pregnancy.

Some more directly practical things I was told to be aware of included: breasts and nipples can be extra tender. This can actually be a good thing for enjoying sex as it can equate, for some women, to greater sensitivity and pleasure.

Breasts can leak colostrum. Certainly something to be aware of, it might give your partner a surprise if they/you like having your nipples sucked!

Orgasm can cause painless tightening of the uterus. I have read in the past that this is one of the bodies ways of helping to recover from pregnancy and childbirth.

Importantly – the cervix can be more vascular, so inadvertent touching of it – say through deep penetrative sex – can occasionally cause superficial bleeding. This is a very good thing to know as I expect that unexpected bleeding could be concerning.

Another problem with deep penetration, especially later in pregnancy, is that it can become uncomfortable. So if that’s something you and your partner like then expectations may need to be adjusted for a while!

Lastly – and this I was not aware of at all – is that when a pregnancy is very advanced, laying on your back for extended periods can cause a drop in blood pressure due to weight of the uterus pressing on the major blood vessels. So laying on your side for sex is a good alternative to missionary position later in a pregnancy.

For my part I want to add this – whatever your situation is and needs are, if you want to see me then I am very happy to discuss them and work with you to give you a safe and enjoyable experience.

John.

Will you see me if I’m pregnant?

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I was recently asked the question “will you take a booking from someone who is pregnant?”. I realised that I have never addressed this question directly here on my website – so it’s definitely time to do that.

The answer is yes I am happy to see a client who is pregnant – but with this proviso: if you haven’t already done so – I ask you to talk to your doctor and midwife first and educate yourself about any possible risks to your pregnancy that having sex might incur and to only proceed if you are prepared to accept those risks.

This topic is timely as it fits in with my recent posts “It’s ok to want what you want” – Part 1 and Part 2.

Wanting sex while you are pregnant is a normal and healthy thing. Yes it’s ok to have sex when you are pregnant. And it’s definitely ok to pay a person like me for sex if that is what you want.

For the people who jump to “How could someone do that to her husband when they are having a baby together!?” I would remind them – not all women who are pregnant are married. Not all women who are pregnant are in a heterosexual relationship. Not all people are jealous, or insecure, or possessive of their partner – some people actually have functional open relationships. And not all women who are pregnant can get the sex that they want and need from their partner.

At the end of the day, if you are pregnant and want to pay for sex – that is your decision and your’s alone – and I will be happy to take your booking.

John.

Ali Wong on oral sex

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@kasinger_family

No comment 😜#herreaction #husbandwifecomedy #embarrassingmywife #fyp #foryoupage #familyiseverything #comedy #blindreaction #wifey #wifeandhusband

♬ original sound – Jennifer Prentice

Ali Wong is pretty funny (you can look her up on Netflix and Youtube) and I can totally understand her position on oral sex and refusing to trade in her husband. It’s hard finding a man who’s good at oral sex. It is really hard! And I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that, because most women I meet tell me exactly that.

Oral sex has been something of a speciality for me for all of my adult life and I cannot for the life of me understand why men who like having sex with women and wish that more women would have sex with them, don’t make it their mission to give the best oral sex they possibly can!

I mean come on guys – it’s a crowd pleaser. You may not be tall dark and hansom, well hung, wealthy and connected, or whatever cliché is meant to make us attractive, but if you can give a woman good oral, that’s going to leave an impression.

And seriously – if you are going to expect her to give you oral – then it’s only polite to give as good (or better) than you get.

It’s not hard. But it takes effort. It may not be a favourite thing to do (which I really don’t understand personally), but why wouldn’t you put yourself out for your partner’s pleasure?

John.

Too many women have never experienced oral sex

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It happened again. I met a woman who had never experienced oral sex from a partner. Not just “never had good oral sex” – but “never had it ever”.

How – in the twenty first century is this possible?

Men – I’m looking at you – you need to do better.

I mean the whole “I-want-a-blowjob-from-you-but-I’m-not-prepared-to-reciprocate” hypocrisy is bad enough. But to have never even tried it – not once – is unforgivable as a sexual being – as a man (I’m pretty sure that lesbians and bi women have this covered). We are well past the “vaginas are scary and full of magic” stage of human social evolution. We all know that oral sex is perfectly safe and healthy and normal to do.

So why aren’t more men making good oral sex skills a priority in their sex lives? I don’t have an answer to this question. I am perplexed.

I love giving oral sex. If I have a “kink” then that is probably it. I personally find it very arousing, and derive great pleasure and satisfaction from giving a woman oral sex – and hopefully an orgasm if that is what she wants.

Not all men share my enthusiasm apparently.

Which is a loss for their partners – but also for them! If you don’t give oral sex then that’s something that you yourself are missing out on, along with your partner. It’s another thing that you can share with your partner. It makes the range of sexual experiences that are possible greater. Isn’t that an excellent thing for every one?

And it may just get you a blowjob in return… I mean that’s got to be worth some investment, right?

At the end of the day I guess that this just highlights how limited many men’s view of sex is. It honestly makes me sad – for the women who don’t get the sex that they want and need to be happy and fulfilled and for the men who are living with impoverished sex lives.

We can do better as a society if we are prepared to have real conversations (and education) about sex.

John.

Help for couples with no sex experience – guidance and instruction about massage, touch, tantra, mutual oral, virginity, and more

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Not everyone who gets married has the sexual confidence and experience that they might like to have. It’s quite common for younger couples especially. Perhaps you come from a conservative culture and background, perhaps you just never had the chance to learn. It doesn’t matter how it happened – and it doesn’t mean you have to live with not knowing.

For many years now I have offered lessons to single women to help teach them about their body and help them explore their sexuality. I have also occasionally seen couples with similar needs, but I haven’t really written about this before and I thought that I should.

So here’s the bottom line – if you are a couple and one or both of you are inexperienced with sex (or even never had sex at all) then I can help you with practical instruction. I’m not a therapist who will just talk to you about what to do. As a straight male sex worker for women, I can provide practical experience in any area that you want to explore and gain confidence in. I can guide you and your partner through all of the things that you want to learn. I can demonstrate techniques (like how to give great oral sex to each other) showing both of you what works and how to learn about what each other likes. I can answer any questions that you have but don’t know who and how to ask.

My courses generally start with the simplest thing of all: touch. It can be literally just touching your partner’s body, it can be massage – which is a great way to explore and arouse your partner, it can be more sophisticated and sensual like intimate touch. I can show you all of these things and you can practice them with me and get feedback about how you are doing and improve your skills.

An extension of touch is oral sex. It’s an excellent way for a man to help his female partner to reach orgasm if she has trouble doing so through other means. I am very skilled in this area and can teach a man all of the techniques that he needs to be able to satisfy his partner. Conversely, I can show a woman how to touch her partner’s penis and teach her the techniques that make for great oral sex for him.

Are you a couple, newly married, and want to learn how to give each other erotic massage? I can help you with that. I can teach you how to give a massage that starts out relaxing and enjoyable, then builds up to sensual, creating lots of sexual tension and getting you both ready for some great sex…

Some couples are even in the position where one or both of them are virgins – have never experienced penetrative sex. I have met a couple from India in this situation in the past. This can be very stressful for both of you, but it’s a situation that I have been in many times and I can show you how to have sex for the first time without it being painful and help you to learn to make it great.

Techniques like tantra are especially good for couples to allow them to connect deeply and to make the sex that you have last as long as you want and to make it very satisfying. I can show you these things too.

Once you have the basics worked out, you might want to learn and experience more. If that’s the case, then I can help with that too. Advanced positions for sex, games like spanking, blindfolds, light BDSM. Anything that you can think of, I can help with practical guidance and instruction.

There is so much to explore for new couples and couples new to sex and I can be your guide. Safe. Knowledgeable. Discreet.

You can drop me a text, or email, or call me any time to discuss with no obligation and no risk.

John.

Do you want to know a secret?

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A lot of people want to star in their own erotica – usually for their own enjoyment and private consumption. It’s a lot like boudoir photography really, only… more so.

A scene from one of my short erotic films

And why not? Why wouldn’t we want to create something beautiful of ourselves – alone, or with another person? It’s fun. And it’s a celebration of our sexuality. These are good things. Valuable things to have in our lives that all too often are put last in our day to day priorities.

It is odd to me that while we live in a society where sexuality and beauty are promoted and used in the media all the time that – as individuals – we are also discouraged from creating our own erotica. It’s like we are being told about (and sold) our own beauty, while being discouraged from celebrating that beauty and enjoying it.

One of the best things I have learned about human nature working in my industry is this: you are more attractive than you believe. Every day, through sex work Twitter I see my peers – of all shapes, sizes, and ages taking the risk of putting themselves out there in the world to offer their services. And while we can’t please everyone, I am inevitably delighted by the flood of people who love whatever someone is.

Photography and film making are a big part of my life and I have really enjoyed working with people I have met to create beautiful, erotic images with them.

So if you have ever wondered… If you have ever thought that maybe you would like to see the sexy you… Then I would be happy help.

John.