Sex for the first time – for best results, do it more than once!

Every year I see about five or so women who want to experience penetrative sex for the first time. Now if this topic is of interest to you and you have read my posts and articles about it, you will know that I recommend a longer date – preferably overnight, but at least a full evening. The reason I do is that is it allows you to try sex more than once – preferably up to three or four times. That’s basically impossible to do in a one or two hour booking.

But why does it matter? If you’ve done it once, then you’ve done it right?

That is true – but it’s not the path to the best experience, and personally I think trying sex multiple times puts you in a much better position to enjoy sex the next time you have it.

Some background: when you have sex for the first time you are probably going to be tense and at least a bit nervous. You aren’t going to be really relaxed, even if you really want to do it. All of that is perfectly natural, but it means that the experience of having something as big as a penis in your vagina for the first time is going to be a challenge. It shouldn’t be badly painful – if it is then there is a problem and you and your partner need to slow down and perhaps go back to finger play and things that let you get used to the sensation and experience of penetration. At worst it should be just uncomfortable, with some occasional twinges.

Then there is the simple biological reality of the muscles of your vagina learning to stretch as required. In this regard, they are like any other muscle in your body – if you want to do the splits, then it takes time and patience to lengthen the muscles in your legs so that they can stretch easily without pain. Granted, vaginal muscles do this quicker and more easily, but it still takes time.

So. The first time you succeed having penetrative sex, you have mostly covered all of the stuff above. But it wasn’t going to be great sex – just like doing stretching exercises aren’t as much fun as getting to your goal.

And if that is where you leave the experience – especially if you are seeing me and don’t have options to try sex again soon – then you are going to look back on the experience and at best say “oh well, it was ok, but nothing special, what’s the big deal about sex?”

Well, the “big deal” may start to become apparent the second time, or the third time you have sex. I have seen it happen so many times – a woman having sex for the third time and saying “oh… now I get it! Yeah it’s still a bit uncomfortable, but it’s starting to feel gooooood!”.

So this is what lead me to recommending that women wanting to have sex for the first time book a longer date. When it’s over, you are going to walk away seeing the pleasure potential of sex and probably having actually enjoyed it. And that to me is the goal – not just to give you an experience that lets you say “well that’s done” but to leave you ready to explore your body and looking forward to finding out just how great sex can be.

I do realise though that a long booking may be financially difficult for you, or you simply may not want to commit to doing the whole thing in one go. In that case I recommend three or four short (two hour) bookings instead. Arranged close together, say over a few weeks, you basically get the same outcome and we can arrange it so it doesn’t cost more.

In conclusion: our society fetishises “virginity” way too much, to the point of it being unhealthy. But that statement also fails to recognise that having sex for the first time genuinely is a big deal for most women, regardless of their age or other experiences, and it really should be treated as such. Most men don’t respect that fact enough and society as a whole needs to find a balance between *OH MY GOD YOU’RE A VIRGIN” and “Virginity is a social construct!”.

It makes me happy to be a part of this conversation and to be able to offer an experience that many women want and need.

John.

The buzz about male sex workers for women

Buzzfeednews.com published an article today written by journalist Hallie Lieberman about male sex workers for women.

For anyone who hasn’t seen the article, you can find it here:

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/hallielieberman/male-sex-workers-feminist-consent-boyfriend-experience

Hallie spent a long time talking to a number of male sex workers, including me, as well as our clients. I think that it is great that the subject is getting such mainstream exposure – especially in the US where attitudes to sex work are so conflicted.

So I would like to say a big hello to everyone who has come to my website from that article. It’s great to have you here and I hope you enjoy my website.

John.

Farewell Elton John

I had the pleasure and privilege to see Sir Elton John in concert on Tuesday night in Sydney (thank you A for taking me!). It was a fun concert. He is a great entertainer. And – as foreshadowed by the name of the tour: Fairwell Yellow Brick Road – he told the crowd that it will likely be the last time that he tours.

I have never seen him in concert before, so it was extra special to be there at the end of his last tour of Australia. His first tour of Australia started in Perth in October of 1971, which means that he has been visiting and performing in Australia longer than I have even been alive!

I will leave you with a few photos of a very special concert.

John.

P.S. I hear that he has extended his tour – so if you like Elton John and can manage it, I would highly recommend going along!

Photo shoot

As a photographer, I’m usually behind the camera – but as a male sex worker for women, I really need to spend more time in front of it! To that end I did exactly that today. I hope you like the results…

John.

Merry Christmas and a happy new year!

I wanted to take a moment to say thank you to all of my clients who have made this year such a success and so much fun.

I have been enormously luck to once again get to travel, making films, and enjoying the company of wonderful people – even when it’s only for an hour or two.

You make John Oh the best job in the world and I look forward to another year of exploration, discovery, and fun.

I wish everyone the very best for a safe and enjoyable Christmas break.

John.

For a good time call…

You know the cliche – scrawled on a bathroom wall, or in the lyrics of a song – “for a good time call…”

But it begs the question: why shouldn’t we call someone when we have a sexual need that we want fulfilled?

In Western cultures especially, everything is comercialised. Food. Water. Healthcare (even when it’s free, the provision is still paid for), entertainment, transport. Everything beyond the air we breath has a price on it – and we, generally, see that as perfectly normal and acceptable even if we grumble about prices.

But not sex.

Even when sex is being sold and paid for legally – as a society – we don’t like to talk about it. We don’t like to admit that some people happily sell sex and others happily buy it. That some people sell sex out of necessity and are grateful that they can. That some people have few or no other options to get the sex that they want and are grateful that there are providers who will see them.

In short, even here in New South Wales where sex work is decriminalised, “social norms” have not caught up with the law. It’s a good thing that the law is more progressive than people. We get to have things like same sex marriage and the right to sell sex services even though the general public, if they think about it at all, might tend to oppose it.

But as someone who might be considering buying sex, you have had to make a journey from one side of that divide to the other. It’s not an easy journey. It may require a person to question unconscious beliefs. To challenge (even in their own mind) the narrative they hear from friends and family, the media, and of course religion.

So many barriers. So many hurdles. But here you are reading an article written by a man who is paid by women to provide sexual services to them…

That, to me, is quite remarkable. I love that despite the finger wagging. Despite the rhetoric. Despite centuries of indoctrination. Despite our very way of life, our social norms declaring that monogamous relationships are the only way we are allowed to indulge in sex that isn’t somehow improper –

Women and couples still choose to own their sexuality. To say no to convention. To ignore the people who push shame and guilt on others. And to pay for the sex that they want and need.

Sex work is the best work I have done in my entire life. I love it and I love the people who it brings to my life.

So if you are thinking of engaging my services, then as the cliche goes… “for a good time call John, 0437 520 539” (or text, or drop me an email!).

John.

You don’t have to meet me at a hotel

It’s not cheap seeing a male escort for women like myself and while some people like to have their booking at a hotel, that adds another cost to the encounter. That may be ok for a one off booking or for the first time, but most of my clients like to see me semi-regularly, so hotels can become a serious extra expense.

However if you want to, you can come to me. I have a nice, modern, air-conditioned apartment in the inner west of Sydney with secure visitor parking.

It has great views and a comfortable couch so that we can chat and have a glass of wine, or a cup of tea when you arrive.

If you are visiting me for lunch or dinner, then I can cook us a meal in my kitchen while we talk, or we can order in, or go out to a local restaurant.

For a longer booking, like overnight, we could watch a movie together, cuddling on the couch before going to bed.

When we are ready my bedroom has a king size bed with soft linen, candle light, massage oil, and everything else we may need.

At the end of our session, when the cuddling is done, I have a nice bathroom with a very enjoyable shower in case you feel like freshening up before you go!

So, if you are considering seeing me, but wondering where we could meet – you are very welcome to come to me

John.