Since we are all in various states of lockdown and sex toys are extremely popular right now, I thought it worth making a quick post about sex toy safety.
I saw this Twitter thread earlier and it’s worth sharing…
What’s the main takeaways?
The sex toy industry is unregulated – with all of the horrible implications that has for product safety
You get what you pay for! If it’s cheap (with the possible exception of glass, stainless steel, and things on obvious heavy discount) then the toy is probably made from something that you don’t want to put in or on sensitive parts of your body.
Masturbation is good (I have a couple of articles in the works touching on this) and we should all do it. Toys are a fun way to expand that pleasure – but it’s really important to use safe toys!
I recently had a booking with a woman who (like most of my clients) had never seen a male sex worker before.
She was nervous, but determined and we had a good session together. That evening she sent me the text below (shown with her permission).
It was a nice reminder to me of a large part of why I do this job (besides earning the income that we all need to get by in life). It’s because what I do brings people joy. Not the momentary endorphin hit of a new purchase, but something that lasts for days – and perhaps even a lifetime…
I have always enjoyed the work that I have done (mostly around IT and design), but I can honestly say that while much of it was useful and beneficial to my clients, none of it ever really made a difference to anyone’s life. Not in a significant or lasting way. That work was unimportant to people’s lives.
With sex work though, I feel that although I can only ever see a tiny fraction of all the people in the world, I will, in most cases, make a significant and positive contribution to their lives and their happiness.
It happened again. I met a woman who had never experienced oral sex from a partner. Not just “never had good oral sex” – but “never had it ever”.
How – in the twenty first century is this possible?
Men – I’m looking at you – you need to do better.
I mean the whole “I-want-a-blowjob-from-you-but-I’m-not-prepared-to-reciprocate” hypocrisy is bad enough. But to have never even tried it – not once – is unforgivable as a sexual being – as a man (I’m pretty sure that lesbians and bi women have this covered). We are well past the “vaginas are scary and full of magic” stage of human social evolution. We all know that oral sex is perfectly safe and healthy and normal to do.
So why aren’t more men making good oral sex skills a priority in their sex lives? I don’t have an answer to this question. I am perplexed.
I love giving oral sex. If I have a “kink” then that is probably it. I personally find it very arousing, and derive great pleasure and satisfaction from giving a woman oral sex – and hopefully an orgasm if that is what she wants.
Not all men share my enthusiasm apparently.
Which is a loss for their partners – but also for them! If you don’t give oral sex then that’s something that you yourself are missing out on, along with your partner. It’s another thing that you can share with your partner. It makes the range of sexual experiences that are possible greater. Isn’t that an excellent thing for every one?
And it may just get you a blowjob in return… I mean that’s got to be worth some investment, right?
At the end of the day I guess that this just highlights how limited many men’s view of sex is. It honestly makes me sad – for the women who don’t get the sex that they want and need to be happy and fulfilled and for the men who are living with impoverished sex lives.
We can do better as a society if we are prepared to have real conversations (and education) about sex.
Today I am delighted to share with you a new film that my client Emelia so generously offered to shoot with me. I think that her words are probably more powerful than anything that I can say and she generously offered to explain her reasons for wanting to shoot with me.
I have been wanting to make a film with John for his website for a while now, but I have always had some hesitation and insecurity with my body image not being good enough to be used as I have extremely petite breasts.
By making this film, I wanted to show prospective clients, regardless of your body type, age, disability or background John will provide you a safe and non judgemental place where you can experience immense sexual pleasure and explore and grow in your own sexuality.
I would like to say thank you to Emelia for her generosity both to me and to the women who might be struggling with their self image in similar ways to her. You are all beautiful and sexy just the way you are.
I hope you enjoy our film…
Not everyone is comfortable posting a comment here and one of my clients messaged me privately after she saw this film. I was moved by what she said and asked if I could share it in this post and she said yes…
What your client said about her insecurities is how I feel too. I’m sure all women feel something is wrong with their body.
Life takes its toll. I’m larger and have many scars. Even when I was smaller when I first hired you I was terrified of my scars and cellulite. I didn’t like how thick my thighs were.
You made me feel sexy and comfortable.
And I’ve change sexually since meeting you. I hated men going down on me. I never orgasmed from penetration. I never just asked for sex. I didn’t feel comfortable naked or feel comfortable seeing a man so comfortable naked.
So thank you Bella. I’m glad that I could make that difference for you.
Every few years I take a look around the internet to see who is out here offering male escort services for women. Australia – and especially NSW where sex work in general is decriminalised – has really become a leader in visible male sex workers for women. There are some independent guys, a number of agencies, a few “directories” that offer male services for women, and there’s me.
I was surprised when I looked recently to only find a handful of websites for straight male escorts in Sydney other than my own. That said, there are now a few escort directories that have a selection of men as well. So there is some choice out there.
I’ve been working in this industry for over ten years now full time and I have worn my own little groove in it so to speak. I have a look that is definitely not what people might expect from a male escort (I don’t do lot of abs and muscle flexing and I’m not doing the debonair suit and tie thing). I am much more comfortable in my trademark denim jeans and white t-shirt honestly.
When I look at other male escorts in their suits and ties, or oiled up for the gym I will have a moment and wonder if perhaps I need to be trying to compete with that. Some of those guys look good!
But then I think about who I am and the service that I provide best – that is the opportunity to spend time with a real person – a whole person, not just a fantasy body or face.
What I’m interested in is you and your needs and making you feel great. If you are nervous, then I will put you at ease. If you want to spend time with someone who is fun to be with, share a meal, wine, and conversation, then I’m a good choice. If you just want some good honest sex, then I excel at that. If you want to explore your fantasies and push your boundaries, then I’m a safe and respectful choice with significant experience and no ego. If you just want someone to “see” you and make you feel special for once, then I will absolutely do that for you.
We all have our moments of insecurity in life and I am no different to anyone else in that regard. But I believe 100% that if I tried to be something that I am not then it won’t ring true. I know that most people who contact me have spent a lot of time researching male escorts in general and me in particular, so that effort deserves my respect and my honesty in how I present myself.
I will continue to be myself. And to offer my services my way. If that sounds good to you, then drop me a line – if not, then that’s ok too. There are as I have discovered, some more – if not plenty – of fish in this ocean! Which is good for everyone.
So. I came into possession of a Doxy vibrator recently (not permanently sadly, but for now it’s mine!). I’m not a big fan of using sex toys on myself usually, but the reputation of the Doxy as a really powerful vibrator got me curious.
Would it feel good for me as a man? What would it feel like full stop?
So while the morning light lasted I thought I’d make a little film for you…
Sex worker Georgie Wolf published an article a little while back that I wanted to share with you. As her the title of this article, it’s a primer on how to hire a sex worker (male or female), written for women who may be contemplating this indulgence. You can see it here…
All of the points that Georgie (who hires sex workers herself occasionally) are good, but I can’t agree more strongly than with her first point: do your research.
It is the single most important part of having a good experience with a sex worker. Get to know as much as you can about them. It will become obvious if they are a good fit for you. If they aren’t – then move on to the next person. There are lots of us out there and there is probably someone who is right for you.
I have always maintained that I do not want to see every client possible – I just want to see the women who I am well suited to and who are well suited to me. That way we are going to have the best experience together possible.
So ladies – I know I don’t have to tell you this, but it’s always worth repeating – as Georgie says: do your research!
A few weeks ago, I received a comment from a reader Vanessa who pointed out that all of the women who I have made films with over the years have been “slim” and that she found that somewhat off putting. It was a reasonable point to raise and one that I have contemplated myself in the past.
The problem is that the women who agree to film with me are a self selecting group – meaning that they are confident enough in their bodies to appear in one of my films, which mostly means that they are relatively slim. Curvy women haven’t volunteered to film with me, so it’s been impossible for me to be more inclusive.
However, coincidentally, after that conversation one of my clients who is quite curvy did agree to film with me. This is the story of how we planned her session and then filmed it…
I have been wanting to make another film for my site for a while, however the stress of covid and difficulties with travel conspired to make it all but impossible until recently. One of my clients – Inessa – volunteered to make a film with me for the website. I spent some time considering what might be fun to film. I have a lot of material featuring massage and oral sex and I wanted to do something different. I came up with the idea of breast play. So I suggested that to Inessa and she liked it.
Here (with her permission) are her ideas about how we could do it…
I’m warm, wet, naked, and in the bath …and pondering on you ‘playing‘ with my naked breasts and making them feel glorious in the process… Here are a few thoughts for you…
Take things slowly. Don’t rush. Make things build; you might even start by kneading my whole breast over my clothes – and I will really enjoy you telling me now and then how much you enjoy my breasts and playing with them; telling me what makes them unique and special to you; telling me how much you enjoy my naked body
Start by deliberately focusing on everywhere but the nipples – undress me and leave me naked to your touch (admittedly with corset on). To relax, and enjoy every moment? I will need to be lying down and comfortable, I think…
So focus to start with on my full breast : touch them, massage them and start to kiss them lightly – talk to me. Tell me specifically what you’re enjoying about my body in the moment . Start to centre in on my nipples and keep your touch really light and tease me . Work me up; focus on my nipples and get me into it and then divert your attention away and back to my fuller breast. Don’t neglect the sides or under boob areas and of course, focus as much attention and sensation on one breast as the other.
Do some actions on both breasts at once, and then Focus in on one breast at a time. Having started light and gentle, get rougher . Blow cool air on my nipples; Now lick them; suck them gently; then suck them hard. Maybe some light biting ? But mix things up because as I build I’ll be wanting more and more. It’ll be like edging – but purely breast focused …I really enjoyed on our Friday session when you suddenly kissed and sucked my breasts having just kissed me – the suddenness of the attention. Sometimes when you’re moving over me you kiss my side or my breast and – that feels really, realllllly good. Just a small moment in passing. Just lovely.
Don’t forget to keep talking and telling me how it’s making you feel – not too much talk , but I really enjoy it when we’re almost whispering our enjoyments to each other in the moment. Just keep mixing things up and then making sensations crescendo through speed and/or intensity.
I honestly think that you’ll know exactly what I enjoy because I respond so naturally to what you do – But yes, thinking it through, then everything I have described here, I would so very much enjoy experiencing you doing with and to me …..mmmmm….I really look forward to it .
I love being your breast muse, John 💋😘
So that was our starting point. We discussed her ideas further and refined them a little, but mostly we ended up filming what she had described. You can see our film here below. I hope you enjoy it…
I am committed to representing as wide a range of women’s body types, ethnicity, and ages as I can. I hope this film has started to broaden that base and show how all women can be sexy, not just a lucky few. If you would like to be part of that celebration, then let me know and we can plan something special for you!
Here in New South Wales, Australia we may be out of lockdown (for now), but I realise that many of you out there are still unable to travel to see me. I also know that lockdown can be really hard on people, especially if you have a need in your life for intimacy that isn’t being filled.
As a result, I have had a number of requests recently for online service including email chat, texting, and Zoom/Skype sessions. I am very happy to do these and will tailor any combination to your needs. So you can start off with some email or perhaps exchanging texts, move on to a sexy phone call, or when you are ready for it a video chat…
To pay for this service I am offering hourly credits at $200/hr for any combination of services. So you buy an hour or two of credit (contact me for payment options) and then we can use it for virtual play in any way that you choose.
I also want to say that these session don’t have to be erotic unless you want them to be. I have done sexy shower time fun and also just having a chat and “being there” to listen. It’s entirely up to you and based on whatever it is that you need right now that this crazy world can’t give you in person.