A new photo to share…

Many years ago I came across a photographer who took amazing self portraits. I’ve always thought “I could do that too”. But you know how things go. Life is busy, bills need to be paid, work gets in the way of the creative process…

In short, I never really made the time.

Until today. I pulled out the trusty Canon 1DXii with my favourite lens, popped it on the tripod, connected the remote shutter/interval timer and took some photos.

Well. I wasn’t really expecting too much from this first real foray into self portraiture. It’s a difficult thing to do as you have no direction, no way to frame and preview the shot, you have to visualise the pose and how it will look, then enact it. So much to think about and play with that would be so much easier if someone else was taking the photo…

But I was honestly very pleasantly surprised! I think this is one of the best photos that I have ever taken. But I’ll let you be the judge.

John

Something that I get disproportionate satisfaction from

So I was doing some work with my truck the other day and as I was walking past the back of the tray one of my gloves caught on a protrusion and RIP! The stitches along the side just pulled straight out.

Now I usually get a good three to four months out of a pair of gloves, even when I’m spending a lot of time on my machines. This pair I only pulled out of my reserve two weeks ago! So I am seriously disappointed to have ripped on open.

Now I’m not going to talk about how everything these days is poorly made and doesn’t last. That’s old news and I just grudgingly expect it.

Instead I’m going to talk about fixing thing and how much pleasure it gives me as opposed to buying something new. 

Sorry, I can’t help myself, I am going to talk about!

In my life I have seen our economy and industry go from (mostly) trying to make things that were durable and did what they were meant to do, to making products that barely do their job and fail even before the warranty has expired. Disposable products not intended to last let alone be fixed!

I frankly find it disgusting. Why shouldn’t furnature – if it’s looked after – last literally forever? Why don’t we fix our fridges and washing machines? I still remember my mother and her sister-in-law taking an old dining room setting and restoring the chairs, replacing the upholstery on the seats. Then recovering a pair of arm chairs and a couch for the lounge.

They were all lovely pieces of furniture that despite needing new coverings every few decades can and should go on indefinitely. Yet take a drive around a suburb when it’s hard rubbish collection week and you will see piles of furnature being thrown away.

So while one pair of gloves doesn’t really mean anything in the scheme of things I will be pulling out the needle and thread to sew up the split seam so that I can continue using them until the leather finally wears through – which is the way that it should be. And that will make something deep inside of me very happy, despite it being trivial.

I get a lot of pleasure from fixing things and putting them back to work when other people simply throw them away. Another example is my chainsaw. It broke down due to a fuel issue and actually damaged the piston. The shop that services it told me it “wasn’t worth fixing”. They wanted me to buy a new $600 chainsaw. I discovered that I can buy the required replacement parts for $160 (thank you eBay) and about three hours work will see (an almost new) chainsaw put back to work probably for many years to come.

Not everyone can fix things. I’m lucky to have the tools and the skills to be able to do so. And I find the process of mending something broken rather than just buying a replacement extremely satisfying.

John

Would you like to come exploring with me?

I recently traded in my fabulously fun little sports car for something a bit more “practical” – something I thought I’d never do. As much as that hurt thought my choice of practical transportation – a Subaru Forester was a calculated choice.

My remarkably cheap 2009 Subaru Forester

If you’ve read some of my website, or known me for any length of time then you will know that I am a pretty keen photographer. I love landscape photography, wildlife, macro, and astro photography and Australia is a pretty amazing and beautiful place.

Red Banks at sunset, Kangaroo Island, South Australia

However I’ve never really taken the time to travel in Australia for the purpose of visiting and documenting beautiful places – except once when I visited Lake Mungo in south western NSW, a place that I highly recommend visiting.

So one of my goals with the Forester is to set it up so that I can go travelling and camping in it and see more of this wonderful country of ours.

If you like the idea of a day or two or three exploring some out of the way places with me then let me know. Let’s have an adventure!

The road awaits…

John

Learning a new skill

It’s obvious that no-one is born knowing how to drive. Driving is one of those skills that you have to learn by getting in a vehicle with an instructor, being guided, trying, making mistakes, learning, and eventually being able to safely drive a vehicle. For me that started when I was quite young growing up on a farm in Victoria and has continued on the road for thirty odd years.

Just this week though I undertook my first practical training and assessment session to drive a heavy vehicle. In particular I was training to drive heavy vehicles with an old style manual transmition. Now I can drive a manual car, but this is rather different, more complicated, and requires a *very* delicate touch with both your shifting hand and your foot – much more so than modern cars need.

I spent three hours driving around a one kilometer loop practicing shifting up and down, up and down. And I just couldn’t do it consistently. Sometimes I’d get it right, then I’d lose it again. 

There were a few reasons why it was so difficult for me.  One was trying to overcome more than thirty years of driving reflexes, another was my preferred learning style – no pressure, lots of repetition, and being able to mess up, then try again. The last is a supportive teacher who doesn’t get stressed or lose their cool.

The first is just something that takes time. Reflexes are hard to overcome – especially reflexes that you have learned to keep you safe. Unfortunately the loop we were driving was relatively short with several corners that limited my ability to just practice, practice, practice and threw in having to worry about a bunch of other factors like traffic, potholes etc. The last was the biggest problem and I honestly wasn’t comfortable with the person who was instructing me. I tried to work through it, but in the end I had to cut the session short because his teaching style clashed with how I learn and when combined with my fading ability to concentrate from mental exhaustion it was clear that there was no point continuing that day.

It may not seem obvious but there are some strong parallels between my recent experience and how many people experience learning about sex. I think that there is a very strong expectation in people that sex will just “come naturally” and when it doesn’t I think many people blame themselves, thinking that it must be their failing.

The truth though is that first – especially if we are older and have experience and sexual “reflexes” – it can be *really* hard to unlearn or modify those reflexes. Certain things “work” for us and trying new things or different things may not hit the same way leaving us fighting not to fall back into old patterns.

Then there’s the question of how we learn. Are you someone who likes to plan things out and try them step by step? Or do you prefer to just jump into something and see what happens? Do you need lots of communication and reasurance?

And finally there’s the person (or persons) you are doing your exploration with. This is likely to be the most important part of all. We are at our most vulnerable when we express a desire to another person – when we open ourselves up and say to a partner “I would like you to do this for me…”. There is a huge risk there emotionally. Will they take your request seriously? Will they be understanding and supportive? Will they respect your boundaries? Will they be enthusiastic about your shared journey and experience?

I often have women come to me who want to have a new experience, or learn new ways to experience pleasure, or discover what they are capable of sexually. I believe that I always put my full effort and attention into helping the women and couples who come to me to explore their sexuality. 

My personal experience this week learning a new and difficult skill under stressful circumstances has reminded me of just how hard it can be for people to be vulnerable and to put their trust in someone else. I don’t believe that I have ever lost sight of that in my sex work, but it never hurts to have a reminder. I want to be the best I can possibly be as a sex worker and I think that this experience will help me to achieve that.

John

The weather may be weird, but it’s nice to see the sun again!

For those of us living in South Eastern Australia I expect that I speak for you too when I say: how good is it to have sunshine again?!  Even better that it’s not blowing a gale and the rain has finally stopped.  I expect that in a few weeks time – if this trend continues as it’s predicted to – we’ll all be starting to look around and worry about when it’s going to rain again, but for now it’s a wonderful relief.

More seriously though Seasonal Affective Disorder is a real thing.  It results from spending an extended time without enough sunlight, leading to changes in the production of melatonin and serotonin, and also disruption of one’s body clock.

I think it’s fair to say that the winter here in South Eastern Australia in 2024 has been pretty unpleasant by our standards (thank you climate change) and it’s been affecting most people.

However – now we have sunshine and an absolutely stunning Sydney day on the way.  I hope you are enjoying some great weather wherever you are – and if you’re not, then you are always welcome to visit me and we can

John

Time to visit me in Sydney!

I grew up in Victoria and lived there until I was 28. I have a lot of fond memories of the state including rock climbing in the Grampians and You Yangs, sailing on Port Philip Bay, studying at Swinburne University, and the beaches along the south coast.

But I always had one big problem with Melbourne and Victoria – I really felt the cold during winter! So back in the year 2000 I moved to Sydney. I’ve lived here on and off ever since and while Sydney has it’s issues like any big city I do have to say – winter in Sydney is GREAT.

I just love these mild, sunny winter days. It’s great for walking and exploring, or sitting on the couch with a book – or someone else and a glass of wine!

So if you feel like getting away from Melbourne – or anywhere else that the winter has set in – then why not consider a visit to Sydney and share some time with me.

John

For one week only…

Due to the torrential rain we’ve been having here in NSW I will be available here in Sydney all of next week (Sunday 16th to Sunday 23rd of June). So if you have been thinking about a booking with me on a week day or evening, then now is the perfect time!

I was in the Southern Highlands yesterday and saw this amazing rain storm perfectly back lit across the valley. While smart phone cameras are great I really wish I’d had one of my professional cameras to hand!

John