I think it’s fair to say that the US as a society has a dysfunctional relationship with sex work. Conservative politics and conservative religion make sex work almost entirely illegal, in a country where there is just as much sex work as anywhere else in the world. It’s bad for sex workers, client of sex workers, and the society as a whole.
It also has other effects – one being that I can’t risk visiting the US, not even for a holiday.
Facial recognition technology is widely used at the US boarder to match Canadian sex workers with photographs scraped from their online advertising and they are barred from entering the US. I don’t know if this same technique is used against sex workers from other nations, but being turned back at the border and potentially being denied entry again for up to ten years is something that I’m not keen to risk.
So, sadly, I have to turn down the requests that I receive to visit the US – or to even visit as a tourist. I would love to see more of the US, but while I’m a sex worker it’s just not going to happen.
However – if you are from the US and would like to meet me, then the best option is for you to take a trip down under and visit me here in Sydney, Australia. I have a neat and private apartment and Sydney is a great spot to explore from, whether it’s local or around the rest of the nation.
So if you would are from the US and would like to book me, then consider taking a trip to Oz. You will be very welcome!
When I saw this statistic I was surprised. Then I thought about it some more and realised that it indicates a sad truth – those people probably have terrible sex lives that they really wouldn’t miss, even for a year.
On reflection I shouldn’t be surprised. The reality I think is that most people aren’t having the sex that they want and many people – especially women – become resigned to that. In that case a trip to Aspen, or Venice in return for losing something you don’t get or don’t enjoy seems like a good deal.
So the real question here isn’t “Why would anyone make that trade?” it’s more like “Why do we as a society value and prioritise our sexuality and sex lives so little?”.
As a male escort for women, sex is a central aspect of my life. My sexuality is something that I have a deep relationship with and am fully aware of. This is necessary for my work, but I came to realise many years ago that a rewarding sex life was an important part of my happiness as a person – so hearing someone say that they would go without sex for a year just to go on a trip is to me, shocking.
There are many reasons why sex is at the bottom of so many peoples list of priorities for their lives.
Once, religion and it’s influence would have been high on this list, but – here in Australia at least – that is much less of a factor these days.
Our atomised communities is probably the largest problem now. Our government said just this week that single people should be prepared to move (anywhere in the country presumably) to “get a job”, ignoring entirely the impact of social dislocation – that is the loss of friendship networks, family, and other community caused by moving away. We are a social species, meaning that we need to be around other people who we know and are connected to to be happy and healthy. That also happens to be the ideal context in which to find someone to have fulfilling sex and relationships with. So people, isolated from the network that lets them find a partner just end up not having sex at all.
Social media – blight on society that it is – also bears some blame. It makes people feel inadequate, allows them to substitute virtual experiences for real ones (and therefore increase their isolation), or gives them bad experiences that discourage them from dating (Tinder et al I’m looking at you here).
Work and debt is a third problem. Most people I know here in Sydney are forced to work to live by high rent or mortgages. It means that work is the central thing in their lives and leaves precious little time and energy for any thing else. And lets face it – the relationships (whether casual or long term) required to find fulfilling sex require time and effort to build and maintain.
In conclusion, while I think that society generally disparages sex and sexuality and treats it as unimportant at best and something to be ashamed of at worst, the biggest problem is that for many people there simply isn’t room in their lives for sex. Sometimes that is our own fault and others it is societal pressure and expectations (like building a career, buying a home, or having a family).
So how do we get past those problems?
It’s not easy. The first thing to do though is work out what sex means to you and what priority you are prepared to give it in your life. That’s the starting point. Once you know the answer to that, then you can adjust the competing priorities in your life to give your sexuality the room it needs to grow.
About three years ago – in Australia – women hiring male escorts to travel with them as companions became a thing.
I have been lucky enough to see places like New Zealand, Iceland, Italy, Fiji, and more with my clients. It isn’t something that everyone can afford, but it’s also something that not all women who are or would be clients of sex workers even know is possible. So I thought I would write an article about it to outline what it is and how it works.
Every one who offers travel companion services has their own style of course, so the way I do it will be different to what my peers offer – but there’s sure to be someone out there who will suit you.
I think that we tend to overlook New Zealand as a travel destination. It’s just New Zealand… not as exciting as somewhere in Asia, not as rich in history and culture as Europe…
New Zealand is absolutely totally worth visiting (more than once!). It’s close, affordable, breathtakingly beautiful, is easy to get around. It will never disappoint.
The natural beauty of this country is undeniable. The food is good. The wine is excellent. The people are friendly.
What it is:
I offer a service as a “travel companion”. That means that I will travel with you, just like a partner would. I’m going to be company during the travel part getting from here to there if we have to fly, catch a train, or drive. I’m going to help with your bags if you need it. We are going to explore our destination together. We are going to share all of the experiences that are on offer. I am a decent photographer with professional equipment, so I am going to document our adventure together so you don’t have to if you just want to concentrate on the experience. If something goes wrong, I am going to do my best fix it. And because I’m a sex worker, of course we can have sex too!
As a professional companion I won’t:
Get stressed about travelling – I’ve done plenty in my life and am very calm and collected, even in the face of lost baggage and cancelled flights!
Have a meltdown over some trivial thing and spoil the holiday.
Be demanding about where we eat and what we do – it’s your holiday, that I’m sharing with you, your preferences and desires come first and honestly I’m going to be fine with whatever you would like to do.
No one needs to sell Italy as a travel destination – but we can also overlook the well known destinations when we think about travel, feeling that they are a bit passe, or not exciting enough.
Can I just say to this: Italy will never, ever be boring. As a country with literally thousands of years of history, culture, food, architecture and more, it will be forever interesting.
Yes, you need to expect more tourists, but that also comes with, more available flights, greater choice of hotels etc.
How it works:
Duration – A trip away can be anywhere from a couple of days, to weeks. Whatever suits your budget and taste for adventure.
Destination – I can travel within Australia, or overseas. There are a few places that I do not currently travel: the US, due to their draconian laws that means they will deport anyone they think is a sex worker at the border – even when we are travelling just for a holiday. I also refuse to travel to Saudi Arabia due to their human rights abuses and treatment of women.
Most of my clients have places in mind that they want to travel to – however If you don’t know where to go and would like ideas, I can help plan an adventure for us to share based on things you might enjoy. I am always happy to be a part of the planning process.
I’m up for anything from an adventure trip like hiking, diving, skiing, sailing, and more, to classic site seeing, to a relaxing time laying on the beach – or anything in between.
Usually I am traveling together with clients from Australia, but I am also happy to have you “fly me to you” for your trip, if you don’t live near me.
Tasmania makes for a great destination – especially if you live in Australia. It’s easy to get to, small enough to see a lot of in a week. And has plenty of attractions, both man made and natural.
Hike to Cradle Mountain, explore Freycinet National Park, visit MONA – the museum of Old and New Art on the Derwent River near Hobart, and see the ruins of the first white settlement in Tasmania at Port Arthur.
Of course this doesn’t even scratch the surface and Tasmania is as beautiful as it is varied.
What it costs – you can see my fees for extended travel bookings on my Price and Booking page. It is also expected that you will cover the cost of travel, food, and accommodation during the trip.
Cooking – If we are staying somewhere with cooking facilities and access to groceries then I am very happy to cook for us. It’s a nice way to relax together after a day of sight seeing, or to help get us on the way in the morning. Eating out is often expensive, so cooking for us can be a great way to reduce the cost of the trip if circumstances allow.
Driving – I am a safe and experienced driver (over twenty seven years of driving and riding on the road, with a perfect safety record!), so if you are thinking of doing a driving holiday then I can be your chauffeur as required. I hold an international drivers license and have experience (and confidence) driving on both sides of the road. I have driven clients in Australia, New Zealand, and Iceland, with South Africa, Canada, and Norway planned over the next year.
Sleeping arrangements – I am happy to share a bed with you when we travel – I don’t need my own room or bed. But I do require some time and space to myself each day to allow me to keep my energy up!
If you like warm waters, soft sand, snorkelling, scuba diving, and taking things slow, then Fiji is a great choice
It is easy and affordable to get to, there is accommodation to suit all budgets, and with a little effort you can find places that are quiet and relaxed without throngs of other tourists.
As a scuba diver and snorkeler, I found Fiji to have fantastic clear water, fabulous sea life, and amazing coral. If you like the ocean and want to explore it, then Fiji is a great choice.
My availability – I take bookings for up to four trips a year, those spots tend to fill up fast, so booking well ahead is vital. My next availability as I write is mid 2020. If you have a specific time in mind to travel, please don’t hesitate to contact me to discuss my availability.
After the trip – when we get home I process all of the photos that I took and provide you with electronic copies of them. I also assemble a stylish hard cover photo book of the best images. My photo books typically run to 100 pages or more, visually telling the story of our trip.
I don’t charge extra for my photo books, they are included in the cost of the trip.If you would like prints of any of the photos that I take then I am happy to arrange that too. I especially love creating large format prints of landscape photographs captured when I travel.
So, if you think a trip – big or small – with me would be fun, then drop me a line and let’s have an adventure together!
Twelve months ago I completed my Open Water scuba diver’s certificate. It was something that I have wanted to do for many, many years, and I am very pleased that I finally did it.
I recently had a chance to dive at Oak Park in Cronulla, Sydney. It’s a fascinating and popular dive spot that is relatively easy to access straight from the beach. I dove with a a local group and was “buddied” with a diver who, like me, was also a photographer. So we headed out and spent forty minutes on the bottom photographing the fish life off Oak Park Beach.
I am always surprised by just how “tropical” the fish around Sydney are. And the seemingly never ending variety is quite amazing.
The highlight of the dive for me was finally meeting some of Sydney’s famous blue groupers! These fish are HUGE. The males being the biggest, with a striking blue colour, while the females are smaller and a green/brown colour. They are quite comfortable around humans (due to being fed, which is not ideal) and when they spot a diver, will come to investigate and often hang around in the hope of a sea urchin treat!
The fish life is so varied – most of which I have never seen, or even know the name of.
These fish stayed close to the rock walls at all times and moved in large highly synchronised schools. I have no idea what they actually are! And fish identification, I have found seems to be even harder than bird identification!
If you are a certified scuba diver – or you would like to get your Open Water certification – I am available for adventure bookings, whether it’s a day diving in Sydney, or a week on the Great Barrier Reef, or diving in Fiji. I can am very easy to travel with and will bring you home safe with loads of beautiful photographs of your trip – both above and below the water.
To the South of Adelaide in South Australia lies Kangaroo Island. Small and green, it looks out to the Southern Ocean. It may not seem like the ideal place for a holiday in the dying days of winter, but a client recently convinced me that it would be a fun place to visit. We spent four nights there, staying near the centre of the island, and each day we drove one way or another and explored Kangaroo Island’s often breathtaking beauty.
It was a truly beautiful place to visit and a fun trip.
You can get to Kangaroo Island by car, on a ferry, which makes a few trips per day, or (as we did), you can fly there from Adelaide if you are more pressed for time.
I didn’t think that we would be able to fill five days, but (if you have a car) you can comfortably see two sites per day – and there are easily more than ten places to go!
Two different light houses
An open range koala park
A general wildlife zoo (not my favourite as I don’t much like things in cages)
A raptor zoo
Tall sand dunes (which you can “sand board” on)
Lots of wilderness hiking
Seal, dolphin, and whale watching tours by boat
This isn’t an exhaustive list by any means, but I think it gives you an idea of just how much there is to do on Kangaroo Island.
It’s a beautiful place and – if you are lucky like we were – is even great fun to visit during winter – but you definitely need to bring your warm clothing!
If you know me at all, then you know that I always travel with a camera (or three). And Kangaroo Island is a photographers dream. Here are just a handful of the photos that I took during the trip…
Those of you who visit my website regularly my be disappointed that I haven’t been posting here very much recently. For that, I am sorry. I intend to do better in the future!
To be honest, I have been distracted from writing for this site by a lot of things. Traveling with clients for longer bookings has become a large part of my business. I have also been dedicating some of my free time to photography and film making pursuits. And most recently I have been spending time working on a series of daily short films about sex work advocacy. It’s a topic that is very important to me and has become more so in recent times.
So all of these things have combined to leave precious little time and mental energy for writing these blog posts. I intend to redress that balance and post more regularly.
Apropos my advocacy short films, we are living in strange times for sex worker, sex workers, and our clients. Around the world regimes like the US, France, Canada, and others have been becoming more conservative about sex work, cracking down on it in the name of protecting workers (ironic I know) and fighting human trafficking (disingenuous at best).
Here in Australia generally, and New South Wales in particular we are incredibly lucky. For reasons I can only partly explain, Australian politicians have become some of the most forward thinking in the world (along with our friends in New Zealand). They have, for the most part, allowed sex workers and our clients to go about our business without judgement or interference (apart from South Australia where it is still illegal to sell sex and Queensland where, while legal, workers are harassed by police routinely).
I can’t express how important this is to women and to the industry of men like myself providing sex work services to women. It’s a cliche that “men see sex workers”. It’s something that society (sort of) accepts and generally turns a blind eye to – but definitely frowns upon. But the idea of women seeing sex workers is still a “fresh” and controversial one. To confirm that, just take a look at the tone of articles in the main stream media about the subject (it comes up semi regularly). It’s usually somewhat breathless and lauds women paying for sex as leaders and ground breaking. Which to some degree is true at the individual level – but the industry is well established and it’s really time that the conversation moved on from “Wow! She paid for sex…”.
For women in Australia and New Zealand, paying for sex is something they can choose to do at least without having to fear that they are breaking the law. There are multiple reasons that some (most?) men may not be put off by barriers of legality, but I get the feeling that this is a bigger barrier for women. So I am grateful that I live and work in a society that has removed another barrier from equality (or at least equal accessibility to sex work) for women.
As a result more and more women are choosing to explore their sexuality with sex workers (male and female). A week doesn’t go by that I hear someone lament the failure that is “online dating”. Tinder et al promised egalitarian access to sex for women, but in reality have just become deserts of bad male behaviour, even accentuating some of the worst traits. Sex workers by contrast are a safe and convenient way to explore and learn when someone isn’t actively looking for a partner, or has a specific need to fill.
In recent times I have noticed and increase in the number of women looking for lessons on sexual techniques, like kissing, giving oral sex, erotic massage, and more. This may be younger women with less experience wanting to improve their skills for potential partners – or older women, already in relationships who want to add some spice, or just be better lovers for their partners.
I think that it is fantastic that women are taking control of their sexuality, not just for personal pleasure, but as a means of improving their relationships. Once again, sex work is showing that women not only love sex, but are perhaps *more* prepared than men to explore its possibilities. I regularly hear clients say “I wish I could bring my husband to you to learn how to give oral”.
Well men – it’s time you lifted your game. Your partners are out here, putting themselves out to learn how to give you better oral. It’s time you returned the favour! I can teach any man to give better oral sex. To express more passion. To be a better lover.
So while other countries are busy alternately deifying and vilifying sex and ultimately just leaving their citizens confused and unhappy about their sexuality, Australia and New Zealand are simply moving forward, making sexuality just another part of our lives. Something to be respected, but also savored.
Thank you Australia. I am lucky to live – and work – here.
Last weekend I accompanied a client on a trip to a wildlife rescue centre near Canberra. On Saturday morning – around 4.30am we abandoned a nice warm bed to view the 2018 July Lunar Eclipse – you might have heard something about a “blood moon” – well that was it!
You can read more here if you are interested in the technical details of this lunar eclipse…
It’s hard to describe the strange beauty of seeing the full moon slowly, slowly eaten away by the earth’s shadow. Fading away from its silver brightness to a dull orange/red.
It was a humbling experience – a demonstration from nature of just how tiny we are – which I think, is a good thing to be reminded of occasionally.
I didn’t have the appropriate camera gear with me to take a good quality photo of the blood moon, but I did take a shot with my phone. You can see the moon bottom right with Mars in the background naming an appearance!
And another larger view. You can see the red colour bleeding into the face of the moon from the right as the shadow deepened.
I got out for a walk today. Down to Sydney Harbour and along the Hermitage Foreshore Walk to Neilsen Park. It’s a long time since I have been down that way, so it was lovely, despite the initially cool weather to see the views over the Harbour and walk along the cliffs.
It was very much a “stop and smell the roses” kind of day today. So I took the camera along with me and made the most of the excursion…
Have you ever been to Fiji? Until a couple of weeks ago, I had not.
I visited Vanuatu way back in 2005, which was a very interesting experience (and one that I would like to repeat one day), but I had never made it to Fiji.
As regular readers may know, travel with my clients has become a regular thing and I now take up to four bookings each year for longer dates to travel with clients who would like a companion to share their holiday with.
It is an extreme privilege for me to be invited to do this and I do my best to both make the trip itself memorable, and to document it photographically so that my client has a set of photographs and a photobook to relive the trip for year to come.
This trip to Fiji was no exception and I would like to share a few of the photos that I was able to take. Tropical paradise is not overstating Fiji’s charm and I highly recommend it to anyone who would like to escape the winter and relax for a week with white sand and warm seas.
In preparation for this trip I attended a scuba diving course and gained my PADI open water diving certification. I now have the basic scuba diving qualification that allows me to dive to eighteen meters. This is all you need to be able to take advantage of much of the fabulous scuba diving that Fiji has to offer.
I had expected to have lots of photographs from the eight dives that I went on during this trip, however my plans were thwarted when the batteries for my dive camera being lost while clearing security scanning at Sydney Airport. It was a huge disappointment, however it did not detract from the experience of diving itself.
I had the most amazing experiences, including watching eagle rays drift out of the gloom and glide past my group, then fade back into the depths, having a sea turtle heave itself up and circle around me – curious, before heading off to another part of the reef.
And then there were the sharks. At a place called The Cathedral, where deep waters plunge away from rock and coral pillars, groups of two and three white tipped reef sharks – fine and streamlined – cruised in to look at us and circled around before heading away again into the dark. And overhead, unexpected, and seen only as a heavy silhouette – a bull shark, a powerful predator easily more than two meters long.
It is hard to describe how being in the world of these creatures makes you feel – besides small. The beauty of hard and soft corals and myriad life that they support, the schools of fish that flash silver as they turn in perfect unison when startled, even the tiny colourful fish that hover over corals and retreat as a family between the branches as you approach.
We are clumsy down there, able to exist only through our machines, and even then, only for such short times before we have to leave again and go back to the waves and the sky above.
But you don’t come back the same. You can’t. When I look at the water now, I am transported back to those moments of rolling back off the side of the dive boat, mask held in place with a finger tip, taking those first strange, cool rushing breaths of air from the regulator – and then the bubbles clear and your eye follows the shafts of light down to a wonderland garden below on the sea floor. And all you can think of is getting down there and seeing what mother nature will show you this time – making every breath of air in the tank count.
Little wonder that diving is so addictive.
And then it’s over, all too soon and you are slowly heading back to the surface, stopping to decompress, caught half way between one world and another. A moment to reflect on that place and its inherent fragility.
We drop anchors that break coral, we cast lines that snag and tangle, we set nets that take fish and other creatures wholesale. And while we stay on the surface we have no idea what is down there and what we do to this place of unfathomable complexity and beauty.
The chance to dive is a chance to become a larger person. A chance to know a bigger world. It is a chance that I am extremely grateful to have been given. And one that I fully intend to continue to explore.
Back above the waves, Fiji is no less beautiful. Beaches of white sand unroll around green atolls, and the sun, filtered through a thicker atmosphere than I am used to in New South Wales and Victoria needs less sunscreen to fend it off.
Perhaps one of the best parts though of Fiji is her people. Friendly, open, and lovely. They take a never ending tide of visitors into their land and make you feel a part of their family, sharing freely despite lives that are nowhere near as wealthy as ours. It’s a trait that stands out starkly in this age and makes Fiji such a lovely surprise to visit.
Another surprise to me was just how many American tourists I met in Fiji. For me it was a four and a half hour flight from Sydney to Nandi Airport. For many of them it takes eighteen hours or more to get to Fiji, yet they come here – many of them year after year, for something that they simply can’t get in the Caribbean, or other parts closer to home.
And while American tourists often have a dubious reputation (as do Australian tourists it must be said), I was delighted to meet many Americans who represented the very best parts of their culture and were fun people to spend time with.
All in all, I can highly recommend Fiji to anyone who is thinking of going there. It is a wonderful place, especially if you are looking for some respite from the “real” world.