Every year I see about five or so women who want to experience penetrative sex for the first time. Now if this topic is of interest to you and you have read my posts and articles about it, you will know that I recommend a longer date – preferably overnight, but at least a full evening. The reason I do is that is it allows you to try sex more than once – preferably up to three or four times. That’s basically impossible to do in a one or two hour booking.
But why does it matter? If you’ve done it once, then you’ve done it right?
That is true – but it’s not the path to the best experience, and personally I think trying sex multiple times puts you in a much better position to enjoy sex the next time you have it.
Some background: when you have sex for the first time you are probably going to be tense and at least a bit nervous. You aren’t going to be really relaxed, even if you really want to do it. All of that is perfectly natural, but it means that the experience of having something as big as a penis in your vagina for the first time is going to be a challenge. It shouldn’t be badly painful – if it is then there is a problem and you and your partner need to slow down and perhaps go back to finger play and things that let you get used to the sensation and experience of penetration. At worst it should be just uncomfortable, with some occasional twinges.
Then there is the simple biological reality of the muscles of your vagina learning to stretch as required. In this regard, they are like any other muscle in your body – if you want to do the splits, then it takes time and patience to lengthen the muscles in your legs so that they can stretch easily without pain. Granted, vaginal muscles do this quicker and more easily, but it still takes time.
So. The first time you succeed having penetrative sex, you have mostly covered all of the stuff above. But it wasn’t going to be great sex – just like doing stretching exercises aren’t as much fun as getting to your goal.
And if that is where you leave the experience – especially if you are seeing me and don’t have options to try sex again soon – then you are going to look back on the experience and at best say “oh well, it was ok, but nothing special, what’s the big deal about sex?”
Well, the “big deal” may start to become apparent the second time, or the third time you have sex. I have seen it happen so many times – a woman having sex for the third time and saying “oh… now I get it! Yeah it’s still a bit uncomfortable, but it’s starting to feel gooooood!”.
So this is what lead me to recommending that women wanting to have sex for the first time book a longer date. When it’s over, you are going to walk away seeing the pleasure potential of sex and probably having actually enjoyed it. And that to me is the goal – not just to give you an experience that lets you say “well that’s done” but to leave you ready to explore your body and looking forward to finding out just how great sex can be.
I do realise though that a long booking may be financially difficult for you, or you simply may not want to commit to doing the whole thing in one go. In that case I recommend three or four short (two hour) bookings instead. Arranged close together, say over a few weeks, you basically get the same outcome and we can arrange it so it doesn’t cost more.
In conclusion: our society fetishises “virginity” way too much, to the point of it being unhealthy. But that statement also fails to recognise that having sex for the first time genuinely is a big deal for most women, regardless of their age or other experiences, and it really should be treated as such. Most men don’t respect that fact enough and society as a whole needs to find a balance between *OH MY GOD YOU’RE A VIRGIN” and “Virginity is a social construct!”.
It makes me happy to be a part of this conversation and to be able to offer an experience that many women want and need.
It’s not cheap seeing a male escort for women like myself and while some people like to have their booking at a hotel, that adds another cost to the encounter. That may be ok for a one off booking or for the first time, but most of my clients like to see me semi-regularly, so hotels can become a serious extra expense.
However if you want to, you can come to me. I have a nice, modern, air-conditioned apartment in the inner west of Sydney with secure visitor parking.
It has great views and a comfortable couch so that we can chat and have a glass of wine, or a cup of tea when you arrive.
If you are visiting me for lunch or dinner, then I can cook us a meal in my kitchen while we talk, or we can order in, or go out to a local restaurant.
For a longer booking, like overnight, we could watch a movie together, cuddling on the couch before going to bed.
When we are ready my bedroom has a king size bed with soft linen, candle light, massage oil, and everything else we may need.
At the end of our session, when the cuddling is done, I have a nice bathroom with a very enjoyable shower in case you feel like freshening up before you go!
So, if you are considering seeing me, but wondering where we could meet – you are very welcome to come to me
The old saying “sex sells” is forever true. I have been in this industry for over nine years now and every now and then something stirs up the media, and various newspapers and sites trip over each other to write about the phenomenon of women buying sex – some more sensational than others.
Recently Dr Hillary Caldwell of University of New South Wales published the results of a study that she conducted into women who pay for sex. A number of my clients participated in the study. Unsurprisingly the media jumped on this and there is a small slew of articles that hit the internet over the last few days. I was interviewed for two of them (by the Sydney Morning Herald and the Daily Mail Australia).
What struck me when viewing the Daily Mail article was how dismissive and aggressive the handful of comments were (and how many “likes” they received).
It doesn’t upset me personally – as a sex worker you will always come across people mean of spirit and narrow of mind. But I feel for women who may be interested in hiring a male sex worker but see comments like these and start to question themselves and if they are really doing the right thing.
After all it’s not an easy topic to talk to friends and family about to get reassurance and support. When people condemn sex work out of hand, or laugh at the idea of a woman paying for sex it can be hard to trust the instincts that made you think that maybe this is something that you would like to try.
So I thought I would provide a counterpoint some perspective if you will. This is from an email (with permission) that I received recently from a client – she is 69 years old and has been seeing me regularly for the last six years.
I just wanted to thank you so much for yesterday. It was wonderful (as always), but I also really enjoyed our discussions. You are open and honest with me, and oh so trusting. Guess it goes both ways. Of course it does.
You are a balm to my soul in trying times. Satisfy me in so many ways. The loving, the caring the fun and laughter, the time we spend together is so precious.
You make me feel like a real woman. No contest. You take me to places that I’ve never been. That is amazing!
Some women see me only once, to satisfy a fantasy, or just have some fun. But most of my clients are regular and long term as they find that my service can fill a gap in their lives that they cannot fill any other way.
And as per Dr Caldwell’s study – they find that with me they have a safe, secure, and discreet means of getting the sex that they need to be happy in their lives.
So, if you are contemplating hiring a straight male escort, but you are unsure and feeling the pressure of people who like to put others down, or are scared of challenging the norms of relationships and society, then take heart – you are not alone, many women have come before you and many more will come after.
I offer a safe, discreet, fulfilling service and it would be my pleasure to entertain you.
I have to admit that I live in a bit of a bubble. I don’t watch commercial television or listen to commercial radio. I don’t read newspapers (online, or paper).
I have terms like “Donald Trump”, “Scott Morrison” and “politics” blocked on Twitter.
I really don’t need the ongoing train wreck of Western politics in my face – even occasionally.
And then there’s commercial TV and radio – swamped by cheap to produce reality TV, “current affairs” programs that platform racists in the name of “balance” and ignore the very real problems in the world in favour of tabloid sensationalism.
I’m happy in my bubble honestly. I spend my work times with interesting people who on the whole care about the sort of things I care about – social justice, tolerance, freedom – people who understand that the world is bigger than them and requires an open mind.
As I write this, I am in Canberra. I stopped earlier at a self serve car wash to wash my car and (disappointingly) had to listen to a commercial radio station for the 15 minutes it took me to clean the car.
It reaffirmed to me that I haven’t been missing anything. From the inane banter about clothing to the news items delivered in the most effective way to make a listener feel stressed about things that don’t actually matter.
It was all just noise. Noise that, if you let it, will drown out the things in life that do matter. This is the very real problem with the “modern condition” living in a place like Sydney.
I heard recently of a man, who emigrated to Australia from India and settled in Sydney. He found employment and has been living like so many of us do – working to pay the rent and have some free time and money to enjoy himself.
His realisation though is profound: he has decided to return to the small town that his family comes from in India – because the quality of life there, while modest, is better for him than the kind of life that we live here in Sydney. In his home town he doesn’t have a lot of money, but he has time – time to spend with friends and family doing whatever they want to, or even nothing at all. He may not have great restaurants to go to like we do, but food is cheap and he and his family have time to cook and share good meals.
The list goes on, but I think that you can see the point I am making – we sacrifice a lot living in a place like Sydney. Our lives are driven by work. Our free time is seriously restricted by the daily requirement to earn money to pay rent.
A semi-rural lifestyle with limited money may not seem like the best life to you and me – we have grown up in a different way and have different expectations – but I think that it can still teach us something.
That lesson is: we shouldn’t see work and the assumption that we must all do it all the time as an inherently good thing. For most of us it is a necessary thing, but it tends to draw us away for the fundamentals of human nature – that is connections with the people around us, the sharing of simple pleasures, and time to just “be”, rather than “do”.
I think that this lesson is particularly relevant when considering my industry. Paying for the services of a male escort like myself absolutely costs money. But it’s trading money not for another “thing” in ones life, but for an experience. The older I get, the less interested I become in having things in my life and the more I value the experiences I have with other people.
Much like the gentleman from India, what I really want is to live a life full of people and new experiences with them. I think that, if anything, is the way to live a fulfilling life.
I think that the hardest decision to make when hiring a sex worker like me (a straight male escort for women – and couples) is: am I right for you?
Now I could give you a laundry list of my great features (well traveled, educated etc etc…) but at the end of the day as Peter Steiner wrote in his classic cartoon published in 1993 in the New Yorker… “On the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog.”
And – while companies like Facebook, Google, Amazon et al have been doing their level best to invalidate that quote – for sex workers it’s still basically true. We are mostly anonymous people who’s online profiles are (deliberately) difficult for anyone but the most determined and well resourced to link to a “real” person. So how do you decide if I am right for you?
My answer has always been that when we speak enough (either directly, through writing, or other media) we cannot hide our true nature. So in the eight odd years I have been running this website I have tried to let my readers hear my true voice. I write about the things that interest me. The things that I care about. The things that I am doing. The things that I would like to do.
All of this writing – done by me, never a shadow writer – is my voice and I believe shows my true nature.
Not everyone who reads my website likes what they see. I’m sure that to some people I seem boring. Or of the wrong political persuasion. Or not “alpha” enough. You get the idea I’m sure.
To most businesses that is a problem. Most businesses want to appeal to everyone – so we end up with generic advertising that tries to offend no-one, but in doing so fails to excite anyone and certainly never differentiates itself.
To me – that is a very good thing. I am not all-things-to-all-women. I’m just one man. And for a certain group of women and couples I am what they want and need. And when those women and couples read my website, they see a person they feel they can trust and who holds values that they can connect with.
This is exactly how I want it to be. I do not want someone coming to see me who thought I was one thing, but I turned out to be another and I have consequently left them disappointed. I only want to see the people who I am right for and who are right for me.
Does it work? Having written two hundred and sixty five posts and forty two articles on this site, I can say with absolute certainty that yes it does. I have lost count of the number of people I have met who have read all or much of my website! And by the time they have done that, they know, quite well, who I am and if I am right for them.
It is very rare that I ever meet a client and find that I am not compatible with them. If you like my writing, then it is highly likely that we will like each other.
So answer the question: “am I right for you?” all you need to do is read on…
About three years ago – in Australia – women hiring male escorts to travel with them as companions became a thing.
I have been lucky enough to see places like New Zealand, Iceland, Italy, Fiji, and more with my clients. It isn’t something that everyone can afford, but it’s also something that not all women who are or would be clients of sex workers even know is possible. So I thought I would write an article about it to outline what it is and how it works.
Every one who offers travel companion services has their own style of course, so the way I do it will be different to what my peers offer – but there’s sure to be someone out there who will suit you.
I think that we tend to overlook New Zealand as a travel destination. It’s just New Zealand… not as exciting as somewhere in Asia, not as rich in history and culture as Europe…
New Zealand is absolutely totally worth visiting (more than once!). It’s close, affordable, breathtakingly beautiful, is easy to get around. It will never disappoint.
The natural beauty of this country is undeniable. The food is good. The wine is excellent. The people are friendly.
What it is:
I offer a service as a “travel companion”. That means that I will travel with you, just like a partner would. I’m going to be company during the travel part getting from here to there if we have to fly, catch a train, or drive. I’m going to help with your bags if you need it. We are going to explore our destination together. We are going to share all of the experiences that are on offer. I am a decent photographer with professional equipment, so I am going to document our adventure together so you don’t have to if you just want to concentrate on the experience. If something goes wrong, I am going to do my best fix it. And because I’m a sex worker, of course we can have sex too!
As a professional companion I won’t:
Get stressed about travelling – I’ve done plenty in my life and am very calm and collected, even in the face of lost baggage and cancelled flights!
Have a meltdown over some trivial thing and spoil the holiday.
Be demanding about where we eat and what we do – it’s your holiday, that I’m sharing with you, your preferences and desires come first and honestly I’m going to be fine with whatever you would like to do.
No one needs to sell Italy as a travel destination – but we can also overlook the well known destinations when we think about travel, feeling that they are a bit passe, or not exciting enough.
Can I just say to this: Italy will never, ever be boring. As a country with literally thousands of years of history, culture, food, architecture and more, it will be forever interesting.
Yes, you need to expect more tourists, but that also comes with, more available flights, greater choice of hotels etc.
How it works:
Duration – A trip away can be anywhere from a couple of days, to weeks. Whatever suits your budget and taste for adventure.
Destination – I can travel within Australia, or overseas. There are a few places that I do not currently travel: the US, due to their draconian laws that means they will deport anyone they think is a sex worker at the border – even when we are travelling just for a holiday. I also refuse to travel to Saudi Arabia due to their human rights abuses and treatment of women.
Most of my clients have places in mind that they want to travel to – however If you don’t know where to go and would like ideas, I can help plan an adventure for us to share based on things you might enjoy. I am always happy to be a part of the planning process.
I’m up for anything from an adventure trip like hiking, diving, skiing, sailing, and more, to classic site seeing, to a relaxing time laying on the beach – or anything in between.
Usually I am traveling together with clients from Australia, but I am also happy to have you “fly me to you” for your trip, if you don’t live near me.
Tasmania makes for a great destination – especially if you live in Australia. It’s easy to get to, small enough to see a lot of in a week. And has plenty of attractions, both man made and natural.
Hike to Cradle Mountain, explore Freycinet National Park, visit MONA – the museum of Old and New Art on the Derwent River near Hobart, and see the ruins of the first white settlement in Tasmania at Port Arthur.
Of course this doesn’t even scratch the surface and Tasmania is as beautiful as it is varied.
What it costs – you can see my fees for extended travel bookings on my Price and Booking page. It is also expected that you will cover the cost of travel, food, and accommodation during the trip.
Cooking – If we are staying somewhere with cooking facilities and access to groceries then I am very happy to cook for us. It’s a nice way to relax together after a day of sight seeing, or to help get us on the way in the morning. Eating out is often expensive, so cooking for us can be a great way to reduce the cost of the trip if circumstances allow.
Driving – I am a safe and experienced driver (over twenty seven years of driving and riding on the road, with a perfect safety record!), so if you are thinking of doing a driving holiday then I can be your chauffeur as required. I hold an international drivers license and have experience (and confidence) driving on both sides of the road. I have driven clients in Australia, New Zealand, and Iceland, with South Africa, Canada, and Norway planned over the next year.
Sleeping arrangements – I am happy to share a bed with you when we travel – I don’t need my own room or bed. But I do require some time and space to myself each day to allow me to keep my energy up!
If you like warm waters, soft sand, snorkelling, scuba diving, and taking things slow, then Fiji is a great choice
It is easy and affordable to get to, there is accommodation to suit all budgets, and with a little effort you can find places that are quiet and relaxed without throngs of other tourists.
As a scuba diver and snorkeler, I found Fiji to have fantastic clear water, fabulous sea life, and amazing coral. If you like the ocean and want to explore it, then Fiji is a great choice.
My availability – I take bookings for up to four trips a year, those spots tend to fill up fast, so booking well ahead is vital. My next availability as I write is mid 2020. If you have a specific time in mind to travel, please don’t hesitate to contact me to discuss my availability.
After the trip – when we get home I process all of the photos that I took and provide you with electronic copies of them. I also assemble a stylish hard cover photo book of the best images. My photo books typically run to 100 pages or more, visually telling the story of our trip.
I don’t charge extra for my photo books, they are included in the cost of the trip.If you would like prints of any of the photos that I take then I am happy to arrange that too. I especially love creating large format prints of landscape photographs captured when I travel.
So, if you think a trip – big or small – with me would be fun, then drop me a line and let’s have an adventure together!
My entire life society has been telling me a lie. I’m sure that you have heard this lie too. And if you are aware of your needs as a sexual human being – and especially if they are not being fulfilled – then you are probably acutely aware of that lie.
Sex doesn’t matter. It should come after every other responsibility in your life.
We hear this lie all the time. Everywhere. It usually won’t be explicit – unless we actually say that we want and need the sex that we are not getting – it’s usually a more subtle pressure…
Study has to be your priority, you don’t have time for a girlfriend/boyfriend.
Work comes first – you have to build a career…
As a parent you have to make sacrifices…
Each of these things are important. We do have to study if we want to improve our chances of getting the education and job that we want. We do have to build a career to provide for ourselves and our family. We do need to look after and provide for our children.
But these things shouldn’t always come at the expense of having a rewarding and satisfying sex life. If they do, then where is the room for having a sex life at all? Because we can always study more. Always work harder. Family will never stop making demands on us…
Part of the problem is that society tells us that we are only allowed to have sex under certain circumstances (in a relationship primarily). But what if we don’t want to have a relationship? Or what if we have a relationship, but it’s sexless? What if we are trying to find a relationship, but we can’t?
Why should a person be excluded from having physical intimacy just because we can’t be what society wants us to be?
At the end of the day, if you are a person who likes and needs sex in their life, then being denied sex will have real consequences emotionally. I know this, because I have been there. For much of my life I couldn’t have the sex that I wanted to. Now as a male sex worker for women, I have enough sex that I am satisfied – and I can see how it makes a difference to my mental health, my ability to concentrate.
Having a fulfilling sex life has literally changed the way my mind works, where once sex was a distraction that ate into my attention every day, now it is something that is in balance with the rest of my life. Letting me concentrate on other things as well that bring joy to my life that may once have been excluded by an unsatisfied need.
I know that I am not alone in feeling this way – because it is something that I hear semi-regularly from the women I meet through my work.
So, if you feel that you need more sex in your life – don’t let anyone tell you that it is not a valid way to feel. It’s ok to own your feelings. And it’s ok to want sex
People often ask me if I ever have long term clients. The answer is yes I do. Most of my clients I would consider long term one way or another. Some see me more regularly than others, but it’s rare that I only ever see someone once.
As women become more comfortable with taking control of their sexuality and choosing how and when they want to have sex, many are choosing to see a sex worker like me. For some it’s a matter of convenience – a sex worker can fit in around your busy schedule, either on call, or as a regular fixture.
Other women are looking for a regular connection, for intimacy, or just way to let go and enjoy themselves without the burden of a relationship that they may not wan’t, be able to find, or have the time and energy for.
Some women enjoy travelling, but not having (or wanting a partner) would like to be able to take someone with them to share the pleasures and burdens of travel.
There are also women who are looking for someone to help them solve a problem – physical, mental, or emotional – that they aren’t able to address with a partner, or on their own. Sex workers are able to help here too and I have much experience helping women to have sex for the first time, to build their confidence in their bodies and their sexuality, to help them learn skills like giving oral sex, or to re-engage with their bodies and sexuality post marriage.
Few of these things are achieved with just one visit, so I am always happy to see someone when and where and how often they desire. That said – if you feel like having a fun, safe fling with no consequence then my peers and I are also here for you!
P.S. to celebrate Autumn _finally_ arriving here’s a photo of some spectacular Autumn colours from the blue Mountains!
Nearly every email or text message that I receive from a someone contacting me for the first time includes in it somewhere:
“I am quite nervous about contacting you”
It’s entirely understandable to be nervous contacting me. After all, it’s not every day that we break societies (mostly) unwritten laws that women aren’t meant to prioritise sex in their lives, let alone go out and seek it – especially from a male escort. Doing so is definitely pushing boundaries, and whether we are comfortable with our personal choice or not, going against the social norm and contacting a stranger to arrange a date – for sex – is almost certainly going to bring out the nerves and the butterflies in the stomach.
We can experience nervousness and treat it as a bad thing and let it make us question ourselves and our choices, or – and this is my favourite – we can embrace it. Being nervous is I think part of the fun of doing something that pushes your boundaries. Being nervous gives you energy, gives you a kind of excitement, it’s recognition that what you are doing isn’t just another hum-drum part of the every day – it’s new.
So let go of the doubt, let go of the desire for control and certainty and do something that’s a little bit scary, something new, something different. Stretch yourself. Challenge yourself. There are so many benefits to be had. And I’m not just talking about seeing an escort like me, or having sex. There is a whole world of challenges – big and small – out there. Why not take one on? There is so much to gain, and really, so little to lose.