Time to visit me in Sydney!

But I always had one big problem with Melbourne and Victoria – I really felt the cold during winter! So back in the year 2000 I moved to Sydney. I’ve lived here on and off ever since and while Sydney has it’s issues like any big city I do have to say – winter in Sydney is GREAT.

I just love these mild, sunny winter days. It’s great for walking and exploring, or sitting on the couch with a book – or someone else and a glass of wine!

So if you feel like getting away from Melbourne – or anywhere else that the winter has set in – then why not consider a visit to Sydney and share some time with me.

John

For one week only…

Due to the torrential rain we’ve been having here in NSW I will be available here in Sydney all of next week (Sunday 16th to Sunday 23rd of June). So if you have been thinking about a booking with me on a week day or evening, then now is the perfect time!

I was in the Southern Highlands yesterday and saw this amazing rain storm perfectly back lit across the valley. While smart phone cameras are great I really wish I’d had one of my professional cameras to hand!

John

Spontaneity

In my last post I talked about anticipation and how savoring the build up to a booking can make it even better. But there’s another option too – spontaneity!

Most women who come to see me take their time to read my website over many months before they finally make the decision to book with me. But if you are sitting at home on this long weekend and wondering what might be fun to do – then you could just take the plunge! Give me a call, or drop me a text. Lets meet up and have an afternoon or evening of sensual exploration.

There is not much to compare to the rush of adrenaline of taking the plunge with a stranger – but with me you know that you are safe and respected while also able to ask for whatever you want.

So – call me now if you’re ready for a rush! 0437 520 539

John

Anticipation

I was having a conversation with a client I have known for a few years now and she made the following comment:

“Your communication has always been what sets you apart from others in your industry.” K. Melbourne

Since day one – all those years ago in 2010 – when I started working as a male escort for women, being a prompt communicator has been a priority. I try my best to reply to all emails, texts, and calls immediately – because when someone makes the effort to contact me I believe that I should respect that not insignificant investment of emotional energy and risk.

But communication – pre and post booking – is about more than just being responsive. Pre-booking it’s part of building the anticipation of what’s to come!

For new clients our pre-booking chat will include talking about your boundaries, worries, needs, and history (if you want to share that with me and think that it will help for me to know). Also we can talk about any requests that you might have. Do you like particular erotic experiences? Are there areas of your body that are especially sensitive and responsive? Are there areas where you don’t like to be touched?

After we have the basics covered then we can talk a little more intimately if you want to. Perhaps plan out a scenario, or discuss in more detail what you want to do with me – flirt and have some fun! This is where the anticipation comes in. It’s one thing to book a date and be comfortable with me, but it can make the whole experience more powerful and fun if we can talk and plan together and build up the excitement about what is to come.

Studies have shown that anticipation of something fun can lift your mood and it can also lower your stress levels – a benefit not to be underestimated in this day and age.

So don’t be shy – conversations with me are always completely private and I will never share them with anyone. let’s plan a date and have some fun building up the anticipation!

John

One woman’s experience

My recent post about social anxiety and isolation and how a sex worker might be able to help you is, at the end of the day, a bit “theoretical”.  Yes I say things about how I can help, but can I really?  So I asked a client I’ve known for several years now what her (entirely virtual) experience with me has been like as someone with social anxiety. This is her response.

“I’ve lived with severe social anxiety disorder since age twelve, so I don’t often talk to people socially, especially men. I had no idea how to flirt let alone go on dates, and sex seemed impossible when my only reaction to a (very rare) man’s interest was ‘oh god, please stop talking. I’m so uncomfortable. Please go away.’

Enter John Oh. I contacted John during the start of the pandemic when pretty much every country was locked down. But I live in the U.S., so why was I emailing an escort from Australia when travel was absolutely out of the question? I started reading John’s blog after I learned about him in Hallie Lieberman’s BuzzFeed article about straight male sex workers for women, and I felt like he could handle my ‘situation.’

Reading his blog, I discovered that older virgins like myself are not the freakish anomaly society makes us out to be, and we have a variety of reasons for our circumstances. This made me feel less alone and even a little hopeful, so I decided to see if I could handle just talking to John.

And that’s what it really came down to: could I talk to a man–about myself, my life, my wants and desires–like a regular human being without being crushed and ultimately silenced by anxiety? This is what we worked on starting with email and casual topics like my love of cats or the novels of Terry Prattchet, things you might talk about on a first date or chatting with a new friend. We started with email and moved on to exchanging texts and pictures a few times a week, the regularity of which gave me something to look forward to and made my feel more relaxed and open with the things I was willing and able to discuss.

But video chat was a whole other level. The element of virtual face-to-face meeting and the fact that I actually had to speak filled me with dread. How would I avoid looking ridiculous or saying something wrong when communicating in real time?! I forced myself to do it. There’s something about John’s smile that’s disarming. As soon as I saw his smiling face looking at me across time zones and the camera, my heart rate slowed. I remembered ‘this is someone you’ve talked to before, someone you talk to often. He knows you’re awkward; it will be okay’ And it, of course, was okay.

It was the unfamiliar that felt familiar. Yes there were silences in the conversation. They felt uncomfortable, and I survived. We had more video chats, and I learned that silences do not have to be filled with my panic. I learned through listening to John and observing his patience how one can have slower, more thoughtful conversations with a person–that a topic does not desperately have to be grasped from thin air lest we ‘have nothing to talk about.’ With practice, I learned how to have an authentic conversation, discuss, listen, and not get distracted by the voices in my head shrieking that I’ll say or do something stupid.

Now, it wasn’t lost on me during this time that I was paying John to talk to me and, in a sense, make me feel good. But that line of argument didn’t ruin or invalidate anything for me. I was getting comfortable and confident talking to a man about myself and therein getting confident in myself. It didn’t matter whether or not John was blowing smoke up my ass because it was changing the way I felt about being myself when talking with another human being.”

So if you have social anxiety and/or feel isolated in your life – physically or mentally – then you are welcome to reach out to me.

John

Available for you in Canberra

If you live in or near Canberra and have been contemplating making a booking with me, but just can’t make the time to get up to Sydney, then I have a solution for you!

Every second week or so I will be available in Canberra in the evening, week days and weekends. So if you would like to see me just drop me a line and we can work out a time and a place – 0437 520 539 or john@john-oh-escort.com

John

Social anxiety and isolation and what a male sex worker can do for you

In these post covid days social anxiety and isolation are on the rise. Perhaps we work from home – which can be a good thing – but that comes with more isolation. Cost of living increases make it harder to afford to go out regularly like we might have done in the past.

This can make life extra difficult when you are already dealing with social anxiety but want to meet a partner. Isolation can create a downward spiral that just makes it harder and harder to effect change and get what you want.

So here is my offer to you if you have social anxiety or are feeling isolated and lacking confidence to make connections with men:

For a modest fee I can talk with you – by text, email, phone, or video chat. You can be anywhere in the world. We can work out a program that works for you and allows you to build your skills and confidence.

I can give you an experience with zero risk and I’d hope, some fun too.

John

Friday 24/5/2024 – One night only!

Well, Jas Strong and I were booked together tonight, but our client has just cancelled due to illness.

So – we are both free and available to you in Sydney tonight. If you have ever wanted to experience two men concentrated entirely on your pleasure then here’s your chance!

Come to us in Olympic Park, or we can come to you.

Drop me a line and we will make your fantasy reality.

Ph: 0437 520 539 or john@john-oh-escort.com

John

Sex work and burnout

I was contacted recently by a woman who has had a good but ultimately disappointing experience with using the services of sex workers. She was interested to know what I thought about the problem of “burnout” in sex workers as she has lost two sex workers that she has been seeing to them leaving the industry due to burnout.

There are a few ways to look at this. From the point of view of the individual sex worker, the client, and the industry as a whole.

I have been working as a male sex worker for women for fourteen years (as of 2024). In all of that time I have not “taken a break” from sex work. This is partly because I love the work, because I am committed to my clients, and lastly because I try to manage myself so that I don’t get burnout.

I think that I probably have more natural inclination to this work than most men, but everyone has limits which we need to respect. One of the traps of sex work is that – if you are successful – the money can be very good. This can drive a sex worker to take every booking that comes along. And that’s great if you have the energy and stamina for both the physical aspects of sex work, but also the emotional aspects.

Most people who see a sex worker – and more so women – aren’t there simply to “have sex” and leave. There’s a reason why my two hour booking is my most popular session – it takes time to relax and connect and be “ready” and then it’s nice to have some after-care and time to unwind and enjoy the “after glow”.

All of that requires that a sex worker be physically and emotionally “present” and to not “check-out” from their client. This is something that I am quite good at I believe and respectful of in my sessions. It does require emotional energy though and no matter home much we lover our work there is a finite supply. It is really important that as a sex worker I manage that energy and I monitor myself so that I can give a consistent experience that is up to the standards that I set for myself.

Now there are lots of things that can impact our physical and emotional energy – stress (financial, personal etc), lack of sleep – and taking too many bookings too close together.

So as a sex worker my work and life are intimately connected and I have to be very aware of how each part effects the other and allow for that. If you have been reading my website recently then you may know that I am in the process of losing some weight. I realised that my slowly increasing weight was effecting my fitness and energy levels, so I’ve been working for the last three months to make changes to improve – I’m currently about 13kg down with 6kgs to go to get to my target weight and I am happy with how much better I feel in myself and about myself as a result.

All of this is to say that as a sex worker your job is much, much more closely connected to your life outside of the work than most careers. When I’m running my other small business I can generally get up in the morning, regardless of how I feel emotionally or physically and go and do good work for my clients and it won’t matter if I’m sad, or stressed, or happy. I can still do the job just as well.

That isn’t the case with my sex work. With sex work I have to look ahead to my bookings and plan my life around it. I have to ensure that I get enough rest, that I’m not wrapped up in anything too emotional, or drained by too much work close together. It takes real effort and attention.

Being older helps with that. I just have more life experience, including a lot of experience running my own businesses, managing my time and energy. Not everyone has that experience and I think that is a major risk, especially for younger workers who may be very enthusiastic, but can fall into the trap of just doing too much – in their sex work and/or in their personal life.

Commitment to the work also matters here. I see sex work as a career – not something that I do for fun, or “on the side”, or out of necessity. I love my work, I want to continue doing it for as long as women and couples want to book me. So I am invested in being able to maintain my mental and physical health and to avoid burnout.

From a client’s perspective burnout has some obvious consequences – paying for an experience that isn’t as enjoyable and satisfying as you would expect, losing “the magic” that is part of what clients come to see us for, and in the worst case where burnout causes a worker to quit the industry entirely, they lose a connection that my be very important and built over many years entirely. Which can be a very traumatic experience, akin to losing a conventional relationship even.

So as a sex worker I need to keep in mind the commitment that I make to my clients, especially those whom I see regularly for a long time. While I may not have an explicit commitment beyond individual sessions, I do feel that I need to respect that connection that I have and the investment that my clients make in me. To that end while I have never considered retiring from sex work, if I did then I would probably try to give my clients at least a year – or years – warning so that they weren’t suddenly abandoned.

Lastly, when sex workers get burnout and can’t give clients the experience that they want, or leave the industry entirely that is detrimental to the reputation of the industry as a whole. The woman who prompted me to write this post – having lost the services of two sex workers in a row has serious reservations about engaging with another sex worker as she just expects that anyone she meets now will in due course quit the industry and leave her to find a new provider once again.

That is bad for everyone (clients and workers) long term and while I understand the role that sex work plays socially (allowing people with few skills or options to earn good money where they otherwise might not be able to), there is a benefit to our industry becoming more stable and “professional”. I don’t expect that to change, but I will do my part to provide a long term reliable service to anyone who wants to see me.

John

It’s always ok to end a session early – I won’t be upset or embarrassed

I recently met a woman for an overnight booking (and with her permission) I’m sharing a story from our session together.  Now she had traveled a long way to see me – to have sex for the first time, so it was quite a big deal for her. 

She chose to book me overnight, which I encourage for women having sex for the first time as it gives them the opportunity to experience sex several times and reach a point with it where they are comfortable, can get past their nerves, and start to experience the pleasure that sex can provide.

Our session went well and she got to experience intimate touch, had her first orgasm assisted by someone else, and then experienced penetrative sex in a number of positions for the first time.

We took a break and chatted about the experience and issues around dating and sex.

Now I was booked to stay with her overnight, but at that point she decided that she had experienced enough and didn’t need me to stay.  So we ended the booking early.  She paid me for the time we had been together and I went on my way.

The reason that I am writing about this is that she was worried about how I would feel about her ending our booking early and that I might be upset.

So I want to be very clear for anyone who is contemplating a booking with me – you can always end a booking at any time and I will not be upset.  If you are not happy with my service, or it’s not working for you, or you have had enough, or any other reason then you can tell me and we can end it there.

It is really important to me that anyone who sees me understands that and doesn’t feel that because they have requested a longer booking that I have to stay for that long.  It’s your session and you can end it any time you want to without upsetting or disappointing me – and I will always adjust my fee appropriately.

John