A sex club just for women

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I think that it is a sign of maturity in a society when it empowers women to be and do what they want to do – free from control or even the observation of men.

The normalisation of sex workers (male and female) for women is one example. It’s quite a big statement that women, who for so long have had their lives, finances, and their very bodies ruled by the whims of men are now able to choose to see a sex worker and not have to apologise to any one for it.

We are moving ahead. Becoming more tolerant of each other – not always and not everywhere – but we make progress.

Another small sign of this is the arrival of the Skirt Club in Sydney (http://skirtclub.co.uk/), a UK originated sex club exclusively for women. It has a modest global membership, but by all accounts it is well liked by the women who are members. I can imagine many men feeling threatened by the very existence of such a place, but to me it’s a delight.

You can read more about it here: http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/sex-and-relationships/australias-first-womenonly-sex-club-arrives-in-sydney-20160831-gr623w.html

I love the idea of women being in control of their lives and perhaps more importantly being able to choose exactly what it is that they want to do with their lives, without having to involve or answer to men, if they don’t want to. At the end of the day, it makes all of our lives, whether we are male or female richer.

So cheers Skirt Club, here’s hoping that your first party goes well!

John.

Being nervous is really good

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Nearly every email or text message that I receive from a someone contacting me for the first time includes in it somewhere:

“I am quite nervous about contacting you”

It’s entirely understandable to be nervous contacting me. After all, it’s not every day that we break societies (mostly) unwritten laws that women aren’t meant to prioritise sex in their lives, let alone go out and seek it – especially from a male escort. Doing so is definitely pushing boundaries, and whether we are comfortable with our personal choice or not, going against the social norm and contacting a stranger to arrange a date – for sex – is almost certainly going to bring out the nerves and the butterflies in the stomach.

We can experience nervousness and treat it as a bad thing and let it make us question ourselves and our choices, or – and this is my favourite – we can embrace it. Being nervous is I think part of the fun of doing something that pushes your boundaries. Being nervous gives you energy, gives you a kind of excitement, it’s recognition that what you are doing isn’t just another hum-drum part of the every day – it’s new.

So let go of the doubt, let go of the desire for control and certainty and do something that’s a little bit scary, something new, something different. Stretch yourself. Challenge yourself. There are so many benefits to be had. And I’m not just talking about seeing an escort like me, or having sex. There is a whole world of challenges – big and small – out there. Why not take one on? There is so much to gain, and really, so little to lose.

John.

Have you ever wondered?

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I semi-regularly meet women who have only ever had sex with one partner in their lives. It’s not at all surprising, as most western cultures are (still) quite big on chastity and monogamy.

The reality of course is that very few people – let alone couples – are able to live happy fulfilling lives this way. So women will sometimes contact me asking for help to expand their horizons and give them a new experience of sex with another partner.

As the saying goes “You don’t know what you don’t know”. This is especially true of sex. Experience is a good thing. And you truly can’t imagine what sex can be like having had only one partner.

That’s not to say that the sex with your first and only partner is necessarily bad. Just that having nothing to compare it to, you really can’t say, one way or the other. Even having some not great sex with some other people can be beneficial – it lets you know exactly how good you already have it. There is no “grass is greener” quandary. You know which side of the fence is best.

My personal observation is that sex is always different with different people. It’s never the same – and with good reason. Different bodies, different desires, different experiences, different places in our lives. All of these things go toward the experience that we have of sex with different people.

So I am all for more experience – and it is of course something that I specialise in. If you have ever wondered what sex could be like with another man and you have reached the point in your life where you are ready, and need that experience, then it would be my pleasure to help.

John.

This image used in this post was created by Leo Hidalgo and is licensed under Creative Commons 2.0 – https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Australian census and sex work

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A lot of people have been talking about the census and the ABS’ decision to retain our names and addresses and to use them basically as they see fit to link to other information and databases.

It’s a privacy concern for everyone, but for me – and all other sex workers – it’s immediately worrying.

I just completed the census – and did so honestly.  But by doing so I have put myself at risk.  I stated that I am self employed, and that I am a sex worker providing companionship and sexual services for women.  And I had to put my name and address on that information.

By doing so I created a real risk that one day that data may be used against me in some way.

Living in NSW where sex work is legal, I have less reason to be concerned.  And Australia in general is fairly tolerant of sex work.  But we live in a time of creeping conservatism. Of governments and people becoming less tolerant and more judgmental.  And while today’s government may not care that I am a sex worker, what about next years?

And who knows in the future what data our government will share with other nations like the US in the name of chasing terrorists.  The US, where sex work is a matter of near hysterical fear.  Will my name end up on some TSA watch list in the US to prevent me entering the country?

This sort of thing may sound far fetched.  But really that’s the point.  We fight hard to win our freedoms, but just because we have them doesn’t mean that will always be the case.  So it’s important to think about all of the bad things that can come from giving our governments more power over us.

We were lucky this year, with the state government inquiry into the sex industry.  The government chose not to listen to the conservatives who hate sex work, the churches who hate sex, and the sex work antis who can’t or won’t believe that people can make informed choices about doing sex work.

Instead they listened to the voices of sex workers, scientists, police – and I expect the politicians and public servants who remember the bad old days when sex work was illegal and corruption was rife in the NSW police force because of it

My fear is that one day the census will become a treasure trove for a less benign government who sees a few votes in punishing sex workers, or excluding known sex workers from their country.

Paranoid?  Perhaps, but that is how we prevent overreach by our political class.

John.

Being sexy

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The Herald published an article recently by the female escort Samantha X. You can see it here:

http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/manis-matching-lingerie-drug-use-samantha-xs-7-lessons-for-escorts-in-training-20160525-gp3e00.html

I like seeing sex workers in the media being given time and listened to, but I felt compelled to talk about a few of the points that she made – as I think they apply more broadly than just to aspiring escorts.

Samantha X is now running an escort agency – two actually, one for women, one for men. In the article she spends a lot of time describing how a female escort needs to present herself. It was interesting, as it is a window into her world as an escort…

Black or white lingerie only (no colours!), subtle nail polished, conservative if classic attire.

It paints a picture, and when you see a photo of her you can see why she chose it. That look REALLY works for her. But it doesn’t mean that it is the only thing that works – and it (rightly) caused something of a storm in our industry for a while there.

I worry however that people considering being escorts might take it to heart and believe that this is the only way you can be successful. The truth is that how you look is much less important than how you treat people. There are vastly more escorts out there in the world who don’t conform to Samantha X’s formula than do (both male and female). And they are doing just fine thank you – even leading our industry. From dominatrix to big beautiful women, to “the girl next door”, to cosplay-gamer, to clown escort (you really must look up Sugar Weasel the Clown, he is hilarious) and everything in between that you could imagine.

There is a broader lesson though I think. And that is: attractive and sexy IS NOT about your appearance. It’s not about your nail polish. It’s not about the clothes you wear. It’s not about style. It’s about substance. It’s about you.

It’s easy to loose our confidence as we get older. Youth may fade, but in reality age is no barrier to being attractive.

Many women in their forties, or older book a date with me to reconfirm that they can still be attractive to a man and to re-engage with their bodies and their sexuality. And it always makes me happy to see someone who perhaps arrived nervous and introverted, leave me standing up straight and looking radiant and sexy!

John.

Available in Sydney, and now regularly in Melbourne and Canberra

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Male escorting in Australia is an ever evolving industry.  From one year to the next it’s certain that things change.  It is, I expect, part of the evolution of our society.  Years ago most of the women who came to me were in their later forties, recently divorced, and looking for an experience to rebuild their confidence in themselves and their sexuality.

A couple of years later and that age had dropped to early forties and many women were still married, but looking for a way to fill their needs and also maintain their relationship – often for the sake of their children.

Then it was couples looking for safe ways to explore their sexuality and expand their experience together.

Suffice to say that sex work is always different!  Part of that this year has been increased interest in my services from both Melbourne and Canberra.  So much so that I am now traveling to both cities regularly.

If you live in Melbourne and don’t fancy flying to Sydney to see me, then keep an eye on my website and I will publish the dates for my upcoming tours – currently I will be back in Melbourne in the first weekend of September.  I intend to visit Melbourne every second month, so you can also expect to see me there in November, January etc.

Canberra is another story.  Being so close to Sydney it’s easier for me to visit at shorter notice.  I won’t be publishing dates for regular tours in Canberra, but if you are interested in seeing me, then please don’t hesitate to contact me and we can arrange a time that suits you.

John.

I do love an omelette

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There are few things I enjoy more for breakfast than a good omelette – with buttered toast and a cup of tea.  This is how I make mine…

  1. Slice mushrooms and saute in a pan with butter, then put asside
  2. beat two eggsmushroom
  3. Finely chop a rasher of bacon and a quarter of a capsicum, then fry with butter, put aside with the mushroombacon
  4. Pour the beaten egg into a well greased small frying pan and cook on medium heategg
  5. When the egg is approximately half cooked spread the mushroom, capsicum, and bacon on top
  6. Grate on tasty cheese for extra flavour!
  7. Season with pepper (no need for salt, the bacon and cheese should provide plenty)combined
  8. When the egg is almost fully cooked, use a spatula to gently fold the omelette in half.  Press down gently along the sides to help seal it together
  9. Cook for a few more minutes to finish the egg and re-warm the fillingfold
  10. Serve with buttered toast and some baby spinach leaves for garnish!finished

Enjoy!

John.

Canberra in July

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2016-07-21 21.12.45Two weeks ago I was in Melbourne. This week I’m in Canberra for a couple of day!

2016-07-22 10.16.28 20160722_110630I haven’t been so lucky with the weather – it’s pretty wet and blowy down here today – but it just makes it a nice day to sit in a cafe, drink tea, and write. Something of a luxury really.

The aesthetic of cities changes with the season. Having lived in Canberra a couple of times, the thing I remember most about winter is the stark beauty of the European trees, stripped of their leaves by the cold…

Walking to the cafe this morning I saw a bus with a bike rack on the front (and two bikes attached). I have never seen this before and it struck me as a very clever idea! Especially in a city like Canberra where public transport and you intended destination may not line up well. Being able to take your bike “on” the bus seems like a splendid idea.

A black truffle

It’s truffle season here in Canberra – and while I am not traditionally a fan of truffle oil – I have been sampling some fresh truffle and found it quite delightful. If you love truffles then Canberra is a great place to be in July, not just to eat truffles, but I am told that there are people who will take you out truffle hunting in a Truffière (the French name for a truffle orchard).

Since truffles grow underground on the roots of trees (often oaks), the hunt is conducted by truffle hounds (yes dogs! What can’t they do I ask you?) – or some people I have heard off use pigs (who love truffles too). The dogs can smell the truffle from above ground and lead the hunters right too them. It’s a rather quaint kind of industry, but given the price that black truffles fetch in restaurants (up to AUD$3000 per kilogram), it also a very serious business.

So, if you were thinking of a trip away somewhere for a weekend and are happy in a cool climate then I think that a truffle tour in Canberra would be a lot of – tasty – fun.

John.