Being sexy

The Herald published an article recently by the female escort Samantha X. You can see it here:

http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/manis-matching-lingerie-drug-use-samantha-xs-7-lessons-for-escorts-in-training-20160525-gp3e00.html

I like seeing sex workers in the media being given time and listened to, but I felt compelled to talk about a few of the points that she made – as I think they apply more broadly than just to aspiring escorts.

Samantha X is now running an escort agency – two actually, one for women, one for men. In the article she spends a lot of time describing how a female escort needs to present herself. It was interesting, as it is a window into her world as an escort…

Black or white lingerie only (no colours!), subtle nail polished, conservative if classic attire.

It paints a picture, and when you see a photo of her you can see why she chose it. That look REALLY works for her. But it doesn’t mean that it is the only thing that works – and it (rightly) caused something of a storm in our industry for a while there.

I worry however that people considering being escorts might take it to heart and believe that this is the only way you can be successful. The truth is that how you look is much less important than how you treat people. There are vastly more escorts out there in the world who don’t conform to Samantha X’s formula than do (both male and female). And they are doing just fine thank you – even leading our industry. From dominatrix to big beautiful women, to “the girl next door”, to cosplay-gamer, to clown escort (you really must look up Sugar Weasel the Clown, he is hilarious) and everything in between that you could imagine.

There is a broader lesson though I think. And that is: attractive and sexy IS NOT about your appearance. It’s not about your nail polish. It’s not about the clothes you wear. It’s not about style. It’s about substance. It’s about you.

It’s easy to loose our confidence as we get older. Youth may fade, but in reality age is no barrier to being attractive.

Many women in their forties, or older book a date with me to reconfirm that they can still be attractive to a man and to re-engage with their bodies and their sexuality. And it always makes me happy to see someone who perhaps arrived nervous and introverted, leave me standing up straight and looking radiant and sexy!

John.

2 thoughts on “Being sexy

  1. this article reminds me of those private schools that had strict uniform dress codes, the skirts had to below the knees other wise they would get the cane across the backs of the legs and made to unpick the hem. Thank goodness I went to public school were uniforms codes were not so strict, I only had the one uniform that took me year seven to year ten, I never taking the hem down. That’s either one of two things I never grow that much so it didn’t need it or I liked my uniform very short in year ten. It was the first.
    I’m told there is a market for every one, I suppose this lady is at the high end of the market its only small but it would also be high maintenance too.
    I suppose when we go looking we see what they have to offer, I know I did. I read yours and many other male escort bio’s and testimonials before I chose. For me it was what you had to say about yourself, plus a few other things that won me over. I will be the sexy one before and after our date, lol
    Is it not manners and kindness than make man/woman not sexy lingerie.

    • Yes, it is the case that there is a market for everyone. You only have to take a look around at the variety of independent escorts and their vastly varying styles to know it’s true. And yes, at the end of the day who we are, how we present ourselves, and how we behave that make the most difference.

Comments are closed.