Seeing a male escort is not an easy thing to do for any woman. There are safety concerns, privacy concerns, even just the logistics of meeting can be difficult. By far though I believe that the biggest hurdle is making the decision to.
This is why almost all women who come to see me take from weeks to six months or even more from the time that they first find my website to the moment they decide to contact me. In that time many will read most or even all of my blog posts and articles.
It is not an easy or simple decision to make, especially when considering all of the above – and the cost as well.
So I thought I might share some factors that might make the decision a little easier.
If you are worried about safety, then I am very happy to do whatever you need to feel comfortable. I am always happy to meet in public, say at a cafe, at no cost to let you meet me and decide if I am the right male escort for you.
If you do decide to make a booking then you are welcome to come to me. I have a modern apartment to host our date, so there is no extra cost and privacy concern that comes with booking a hotel room for us. I also have secure off street parking available.
And when you arrive you are never under any obligation. I never ask for payment upfront and only ask to be paid when our session is over. If you feel that you want or need to leave at any time for any reason, then I don’t want the consideration of money having already been paid to effect your decision.
I have always guaranteed my service – if you aren’t happy, then you don’t pay. I feel this is important given the unreliability of many of the men in this industry and I try to hold myself to a higher standard.
Lastly – if you are unsure, then you can always talk to me. Call, text, email me any time and I will make the time to answer all of your questions.
As we head into what is shaping up to be a pretty warm summer I wanted to say – if you’re thinking of booking a date with me and want more than just a sexy indoor session then how about a trip to the beach? If you are feeling daring then we could visit one of Sydney’s nude beaches, like Cobbler, or (my favourite) Little Congwong beach on Botany Bay. There are few things that I enjoy more than the sun, sand, and water and it’s nice to be able to share it with someone!
So perhaps lunch at a cafe, a couple of hours of sun and water, and then an evening of pleasure in…
John
If you are wondering what that might look like then check out my film A Grand Day Out!
WARNING this short film contains nudity and is NOT SAFE FOR WORK
There are plenty of pitfalls for couples wanting to try a threesome. Here’s a short list to help you have the best experience possible:
Do you both want to do it? I have seen many couples who are both into the experience and have a great time. I have also seen couples where the woman clearly was just going along with what her partner wanted. It’s awkward and is rarely satisfying for anyone involved. If your partner isn’t enthusiastic about the idea – or at the very least happy to give it a go then it’s not going to be great
Do you know what each other’s limits are (and those of the third person)? Limits, knowing them, and sharing them is essential. If you don’t tell your partner that you aren’t comfortable with something happening in your threesome and they assume that you are then the whole experience can be ruined. You all need to work out where your limits are and then stick to them
Do you have a plan? So you are both keen to try a threesome, but do you know how you want it to go? It’s fine to say “lets just start with a massage and see where it goes” if you have already worked out your limits and you can all just explore within them. Personally, I’m straight, so if I’m with a male/female couple, then I won’t be playing with him and expect that both of us will be concentrating on his partner, that’s a hard limit for me in a threesome. Conversely I have had sessions with couples that are highly scripted where we explore a fantasy that they have taken lots of time to work out and know exactly what they want. Either of these – or anywhere in between is fine, just so long as you are all on the same page
Do you know what you will do if it’s not working for either of you? It’s ok if things don’t go exactly as you had hoped in your threesome, but if that happens then you need to have agreed ahead of time how you will deal with that. It’s ok for things to not go as planned – especially when you are new to threesomes – just be sure that you are ready if it doesn’t work and have a strategy to pause or end the play
Are you ready to make discoveries about yourself and your partner? To borrow (and reframe) a saying from Muhammad Ali: everyone has a plan until they see their partner having sex with another person. What I mean by that is we think that we know how we would feel in a threesome, but when we get there we might have a very different response. It could be better than we expected, or not. Neither is right or wrong, we are just learning about ourselves – but you need to be ready for the unexpected
So that is a short list that I think about and discuss with your partner if you are planning on trying a threesome. And if you are ready then drop me a line and lets have some consensual fun!
John
P.S. I looked for a stock photo that I could use for this article, since I haven’t ever taken any “threesome” relevant photos – and boy does the internet have opinions about threesomes and what they look like (almost always two women and one man). I always enjoy seeing men secure and comfortable enough in themselves and their relationship to be ready to make their partner the focus of a threesome rather than themselves.
This video popped up in my YouTube feed today and I thought I might share it. It’s by a woman who has a lower leg amputation and she discusses her journey with her sexuality after her amputation. I have enjoyed her discussion of disability in general, but this one about sex and disability in particular. You can watch the video here:
I have been working with women with disabilities for as long as I have been a male escort for women. I believe that people with disabilities having access to sex workers is an important social service that allows them to experience their lives more fully.
If you live in Australia and have a disability, or are assisting someone who does then the first thing for you to do is contact Touching Base (https://www.touchingbase.org/). From their website:
Touching Base Inc is a charitable organisation, based in Sydney NSW Australia, that has been active since October 2000. Touching Base developed out of the need to assist people with disability and sex workers to connect with each other, focusing on access, discrimination, human rights and legal issues and the attitudinal barriers that these two marginalised communities can face.
They do great work and have a referral list of sex workers to suit a wide range of needs, trained in working with people with disabilities. I highly recommend them.
Many of the women who contact me ask the question: “So what would a booking with you be like?”. I’m pleased to say that now I can show you…
The back story…
Back in 2020 when we were just getting through the first wave of covid I had a conversation with a woman in the comments on my Photos page about how my erotic films have all been shot with women who are conventionally attractive. She said:
Your videos are all with slim women which would make me much too self conscious to contact you. How about picking a client in her 40s or 50s with a more normal and average body and filming an intimate scene to put me at ease?
She made a very good point and we had a productive conversation about why it has been hard for me to find older women to shoot with (you can see the full thread here). So I made the following commitment:
I will state for the record here though – to any woman who would like to create a film with me to be displayed on this website – you are very welcome to let me know. Age, ethnicity, size, body type, or disability are not limiting factors, so please don’t feel that you are not suitable because of some physical feature. I always ensure anonymity and engage in filming with the utmost respect and care for the well being of the person working with me. Finally, in all my films my costar the right of veto if they are not happy with my depiction of them.
Two whole years passed, then I received this comment:
Hi John Oh, are you still looking for a mid-age, normal looking, not really a plus size, but definitely the usual expectations of women, and not one that is as trim taught and terrific as the beautiful girls in your current videos, May I say, your videos are absolutely beautiful and very professional, if so, that you are still considering to make a video as in the above conversations, I am happy to discuss the probabilities at anytime, It will be largely depend on the financials of my out of pocket expenses, being that I would be traveling from Brisbane purposely to validate your fantastic website, and maybe be of assistance to other ladies who may have doubts with being at peace with their own bodies, Incidentally, I have only ever been with one man in my whole life and have never been on any websites like yours before, Your talents and website were offered to me by a friend and I have had the great pleasure of perusing through and found this section, It has taken a huge amount of courage to write to you, but I am happy to discuss further if you are still looking for an alliance for your video, Thank you very much Zoe,
So I contacted Zoe and we arranged a time for her to visit and we made a film! As often happens it takes a while to arrange to meet and shoot the film, then there’s editing and we went back and forth adjusting the film to be sure that we were happy with it. But now it is done.
This film is special for many reasons – it is the first time that I have ever filmed an actual booking with a woman, rather than the films that I usually make which are shot quite deliberately to tell a story and to protect the woman’s identity and privacy. As a result I have added a privacy screen to protect Zoe’s identity and allow us to just enjoy the session without worrying every minute about camera angles.
It was also not only Zoe’s first time making an erotic film, but I was also only the second man that she had ever been with. So you can imagine just how huge a deal making this film was for her. She was amazingly brave and generous to offer to help me make this film and she hopes that it will help women who may be worried about their appearance or age to realise that those things don’t have to stop them experiencing pleasure and enjoying a healthy sex life.
So thank you Zoe! I am extremely grateful for your participation and patience.
I realised that I have left somewhat of a gap in my writing for women with a disability. That is that for some women with a disability looking to book my services it will also be the first time that they have sex.
So I think that it’s worth acknowledging that fact as it complicates two situations that are already challenging – booking a male sex worker and having sex for the first time while working around a disability of some kind.
I have negotiated this hurdle with three women with disabilities in the past and with a bit of planning and conversation beforehand and plenty of patience and communication during the booking it has always worked out well.
From my experience it is generally just a matter of lots of foreplay, going extra slow, and checking in regularly. Do that and it’s going to be a pain free experience of sex for the first time is.
If you would like to talk to me about first time sex and disability issue please feel free to drop me an email or text. I’m always happy to discuss your needs and work out a solution that you are comfortable with.
I think it’s fair to say that the US as a society has a dysfunctional relationship with sex work. Conservative politics and conservative religion make sex work almost entirely illegal, in a country where there is just as much sex work as anywhere else in the world. It’s bad for sex workers, client of sex workers, and the society as a whole.
It also has other effects – one being that I can’t risk visiting the US, not even for a holiday.
Facial recognition technology is widely used at the US boarder to match Canadian sex workers with photographs scraped from their online advertising and they are barred from entering the US. I don’t know if this same technique is used against sex workers from other nations, but being turned back at the border and potentially being denied entry again for up to ten years is something that I’m not keen to risk.
So, sadly, I have to turn down the requests that I receive to visit the US – or to even visit as a tourist. I would love to see more of the US, but while I’m a sex worker it’s just not going to happen.
However – if you are from the US and would like to meet me, then the best option is for you to take a trip down under and visit me here in Sydney, Australia. I have a neat and private apartment and Sydney is a great spot to explore from, whether it’s local or around the rest of the nation.
So if you would are from the US and would like to book me, then consider taking a trip to Oz. You will be very welcome!
Some years ago I wrote this post: The Chance to Say Goodbye. It talked about my experience as a sex worker meeting my clients and in time them moving on. I also wrote this post: Is it ok to See a Sex Worker Indefinitely discussing the merits and considerations of seeing a sex worker long term.
I’ve been thinking about these two posts recently as a number of my long-term clients have recently moved on.
As per the first article, it’s a bittersweet moment for me to hear that. Bitter because I don’t get to see someone I have gotten to know, sometimes over years and who’s company I enjoy. Sweet because I am happy that their life is now more complete than it was when they first came to me and they no longer need what I provided to them.
“My life is full and I am content. A lot of that is due to you and the confidence you imbued in me over the last 18 months.”
It is gratifying that my service can give someone confidence in themselves and help them to arrive at a better place than they were before they came to see me.
But then there are the women I see every month, year on year who have found the place that they want or need to be, with me. An uncomplicated connection, physical fulfilment, that is safe and secure, and an intimate experience that is dedicated solely to their pleasure.
In this (sort of) post covid era many people have been reassessing their lives, trying to find a new balance that makes them happy. And that has included deciding to see a sex worker where they might not have in the past, or alternatively, not seeing a sex worker that they might have seen regularly.
While this has at times meant handling cancellations, I want to say that if you are a client to a sex worker – it is always ok for you to change your mind. The last three years have brought a lot of change to all of our lives and we have to be ready to respect and support the people around us and their choices.
So NSW is back in business and the easing of covid restrictions means that sex workers like me are allowed to work again.
It feels good to be back!
In the interest of everyone staying healthy and safe, these are the rules for seeing me:
Get vaccinated! I am fully vaccinated (since June 4th) and will be getting a booster when I am entitled in early December. I won’t be seeing anyone who isn’t vaccinated – unless they have a health restriction that prevents them for receiving the vaccine. I’m sorry if this is a problem, but I have to put my health and everyone else who I see first
When I’m out in public I will wear a mask (except in a restaurant where that’s not practical)
I will continue to get tested for covid regularly. I encourage anyone who is coming to see me to do the same. If you are immunocompromised or vulnerable in some other way, please let me know and I can provide a recent negative covid test result before we meet
If you are visiting me, please wear a mask in my building. It’s a rule of the building and everyone has to follow it
And that’s it. I hope that we can all work together to protect everyone’s health.
When we think of seeing a sex worker I think that there is an assumption that it’s something that we do (amongst other reasons) to get through a period where we are single, don’t have time for a relationship, need to work through issues around sex, or would like a special treat. We don’t tend to look at seeing a sex worker as something that we might do indefinitely.
The reality though is that many people (men and women) see sex workers – even the same sex worker – for extended periods. As of writing this article in 2021, one of my clients has been seeing me for almost ten years. Every month for ten years. And she is not alone.
To answer the question in the title of this post – yes it is ok to see a sex worker for as long as you want to, assuming the following things:
It is affordable for you. This is understandably one of the biggest obstacles for seeing a sex worker regularly. I am happy to see most anyone – but not if doing so would be financially ruinous
Seeing your sex worker is a positive thing that makes your life better. This may seem obvious, but sometimes it is hard to maintain perspective. Checking yourself and whether the arrangement is still a good thing in your life is vital
Seeing your sex worker doesn’t stop you from building other relationships that might be more fulfilling in the long term. I have had a few clients – who enjoyed seeing me – stop doing so as they realised that seeing me was stopping them from looking for a partner, which was something that they really wanted in their lives.
Some people see their sex worker for many years. Some never plan to stop seeing them. Perhaps because they have a disability which makes regular dating hard, dangerous, or impossible. Others because while they love their partner and are happy in their relationship, they simply cannot get the sex that they want and need to be happy. Or perhaps just because they choose to and that’s what works for their life.
