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I am John Oh, straight male escort for women.  I live in Sydney, Australia and work in Sydney, Canberra, and Melbourne.

I am one of Sydney’s most experienced male escorts for women and offer a service that I believe is second to none.

Book a date with me to experience the luxury of personal intimate attention.  From relaxing talk with a glass of wine, to a meal cooked to order, erotic massage, and of course intense and satisfying sex.

If you would like to see photos of me, please see my photos page.

I am available to travel interstate or internationally if you would like to fly me to you, or have me travel with you on your holiday.

If you would like to chat with me you can drop me an email, send me a text, or give me a call.  I am also happy to chat by Skype if you would like to get to know me better.

John.

Sex work and burnout

I was contacted recently by a woman who has had a good but ultimately disappointing experience with using the services of sex workers. She was interested to know what I thought about the problem of “burnout” in sex workers as she has lost two sex workers that she has been seeing to them leaving the industry due to burnout.

There are a few ways to look at this. From the point of view of the individual sex worker, the client, and the industry as a whole.

I have been working as a male sex worker for women for fourteen years (as of 2024). In all of that time I have not “taken a break” from sex work. This is partly because I love the work, because I am committed to my clients, and lastly because I try to manage myself so that I don’t get burnout.

I think that I probably have more natural inclination to this work than most men, but everyone has limits which we need to respect. One of the traps of sex work is that – if you are successful – the money can be very good. This can drive a sex worker to take every booking that comes along. And that’s great if you have the energy and stamina for both the physical aspects of sex work, but also the emotional aspects.

Most people who see a sex worker – and more so women – aren’t there simply to “have sex” and leave. There’s a reason why my two hour booking is my most popular session – it takes time to relax and connect and be “ready” and then it’s nice to have some after-care and time to unwind and enjoy the “after glow”.

All of that requires that a sex worker be physically and emotionally “present” and to not “check-out” from their client. This is something that I am quite good at I believe and respectful of in my sessions. It does require emotional energy though and no matter home much we lover our work there is a finite supply. It is really important that as a sex worker I manage that energy and I monitor myself so that I can give a consistent experience that is up to the standards that I set for myself.

Now there are lots of things that can impact our physical and emotional energy – stress (financial, personal etc), lack of sleep – and taking too many bookings too close together.

So as a sex worker my work and life are intimately connected and I have to be very aware of how each part effects the other and allow for that. If you have been reading my website recently then you may know that I am in the process of losing some weight. I realised that my slowly increasing weight was effecting my fitness and energy levels, so I’ve been working for the last three months to make changes to improve – I’m currently about 13kg down with 6kgs to go to get to my target weight and I am happy with how much better I feel in myself and about myself as a result.

All of this is to say that as a sex worker your job is much, much more closely connected to your life outside of the work than most careers. When I’m running my other small business I can generally get up in the morning, regardless of how I feel emotionally or physically and go and do good work for my clients and it won’t matter if I’m sad, or stressed, or happy. I can still do the job just as well.

That isn’t the case with my sex work. With sex work I have to look ahead to my bookings and plan my life around it. I have to ensure that I get enough rest, that I’m not wrapped up in anything too emotional, or drained by too much work close together. It takes real effort and attention.

Being older helps with that. I just have more life experience, including a lot of experience running my own businesses, managing my time and energy. Not everyone has that experience and I think that is a major risk, especially for younger workers who may be very enthusiastic, but can fall into the trap of just doing too much – in their sex work and/or in their personal life.

Commitment to the work also matters here. I see sex work as a career – not something that I do for fun, or “on the side”, or out of necessity. I love my work, I want to continue doing it for as long as women and couples want to book me. So I am invested in being able to maintain my mental and physical health and to avoid burnout.

From a client’s perspective burnout has some obvious consequences – paying for an experience that isn’t as enjoyable and satisfying as you would expect, losing “the magic” that is part of what clients come to see us for, and in the worst case where burnout causes a worker to quit the industry entirely, they lose a connection that my be very important and built over many years entirely. Which can be a very traumatic experience, akin to losing a conventional relationship even.

So as a sex worker I need to keep in mind the commitment that I make to my clients, especially those whom I see regularly for a long time. While I may not have an explicit commitment beyond individual sessions, I do feel that I need to respect that connection that I have and the investment that my clients make in me. To that end while I have never considered retiring from sex work, if I did then I would probably try to give my clients at least a year – or years – warning so that they weren’t suddenly abandoned.

Lastly, when sex workers get burnout and can’t give clients the experience that they want, or leave the industry entirely that is detrimental to the reputation of the industry as a whole. The woman who prompted me to write this post – having lost the services of two sex workers in a row has serious reservations about engaging with another sex worker as she just expects that anyone she meets now will in due course quit the industry and leave her to find a new provider once again.

That is bad for everyone (clients and workers) long term and while I understand the role that sex work plays socially (allowing people with few skills or options to earn good money where they otherwise might not be able to), there is a benefit to our industry becoming more stable and “professional”. I don’t expect that to change, but I will do my part to provide a long term reliable service to anyone who wants to see me.

John

Happy Christmas to all!

I wanted to wish everyone a happy Christmas and say thank you to all of the people who I have been lucky enough to meet and see as clients this year. I am extremely grateful for you support and I look forward to more fun in 2024.

I hope everyone has a safe and restful holiday.

John

It’s always ok to end a session early – I won’t be upset or embarrassed

I recently met a woman for an overnight booking (and with her permission) I’m sharing a story from our session together.  Now she had traveled a long way to see me – to have sex for the first time, so it was quite a big deal for her. 

She chose to book me overnight, which I encourage for women having sex for the first time as it gives them the opportunity to experience sex several times and reach a point with it where they are comfortable, can get past their nerves, and start to experience the pleasure that sex can provide.

Our session went well and she got to experience intimate touch, had her first orgasm assisted by someone else, and then experienced penetrative sex in a number of positions for the first time.

We took a break and chatted about the experience and issues around dating and sex.

Now I was booked to stay with her overnight, but at that point she decided that she had experienced enough and didn’t need me to stay.  So we ended the booking early.  She paid me for the time we had been together and I went on my way.

The reason that I am writing about this is that she was worried about how I would feel about her ending our booking early and that I might be upset.

So I want to be very clear for anyone who is contemplating a booking with me – you can always end a booking at any time and I will not be upset.  If you are not happy with my service, or it’s not working for you, or you have had enough, or any other reason then you can tell me and we can end it there.

It is really important to me that anyone who sees me understands that and doesn’t feel that because they have requested a longer booking that I have to stay for that long.  It’s your session and you can end it any time you want to without upsetting or disappointing me – and I will always adjust my fee appropriately.

John

Know thy self – erogenous zones

From time to time people send me links to articles about sexuality – which I’m always happy to receive! I was sent this one overnight and I thought it was worth sharing:

https://www.glamour.com/story/hottest-erogenous-zones-women

I doubt that most people will be surprised by most of these erogenous zones – but I think that it’s always good to be reminded that they exist and to be mindful of them the next time that we are with a partner.

That’s especially true with someone that we have been with for some time. It’s very easy to fall into a rhythm with sex – we know what our partner likes, they know what we like, we give that to each other and that’s it. Which is fine as far as it goes, but it does leave a lot “on the table” so to speak.

Yes we know what our partner likes and doesn’t like. But there is a gap between those two extremes that creates an opportunity to explore and learn and perhaps discover new experiences and new pleasures together.

I have many, many years of experience, but I’m not too proud to admit that I can still learn more.

John

Weight loss update

About five weeks ago I made the decision that I needed to lose some weight. This is the first time in my life that I have felt the need to deliberately “diet”.  I have always had a fairly high metabolism, so reversing weight gain has only ever really required some more exercise and eating less.  That’s not the case any more, so I set about finding the “right way” to lose weight for me.

My starting point has been that I know that anything with carbohydrates in it (things like bread, rice, potatoes, fruit, milk – many of the most delicious things!) are dynamite for me and key to my recent weight gain.  So cutting out those things was the logical starting point.

What I put together in the end was a diet that is based on “ketogenic” principals – eliminating carbohydrates, eating moderate amounts of protein, and eating various fats for energy (avocado, olive oil, butter, cream, eggs, cheese, and fat that comes with meat).

I have combined that with intermittent fasting, initially having two meals a day, at 1.00pm and 5.00pm to give me a twenty hour fast which people who recommend fasting say is the minimum time required to get a benefit from fasting.

After a week I discovered that I really didn’t need the second meal, so I cut it down to just a snack.  I now eat one meal a day – and because of the fasting my stomach has shrunk somewhat and the one meal I do eat is smaller than when I started this process.

On the advice of the people who promote keto style diets I have been drinking extra water, supplementing electrolytes, vitamins, and magnesium.  

And it’s all going very well I have to say.  I don’t get hungry between meals.  My grocery bill is less than *half* what it used to be (a bonus that I wasn’t expecting).  And best of all – I have been losing weight: around seven kilograms in five weeks.

Now I don’t really care about keto diet puritanism and I have eaten out at least once or twice a week in that time, while still trying to avoid carbs, but not being fanatical about it – and I have still lost weight.

What I see as the benefit of keto style dieting is this: it lets you eat a *lot* less and supports intermittent fasting without getting hungry.  And that I think is the key – at the end of the day my calorie intake is below even my base metabolic rate – and I have been exercising on top of that as well, so my body is burning my stores of fat to make up the shortfall.  I can see the difference already – even if I can’t feel it when I’m doing chin-ups! (Yet).

So to anyone who is unhappy with their weight and would like to change it and are looking for a solution, I would highly recommend trying a keto style diet.  Note: I’m not a doctor or nutritionist, so please research keto diets and get professional advice to decide if it suits and is appropriate for you.

On this note I have been told that keto dieting may not be appropriate for women going through menopause, so as I said above, professional advice is recommended!

I will be continuing on this journey for several more kilograms yet and I will report back along the way.

John

Relationships, dating, and sex work in these times

I came across this article recently and thought it worth commenting on in the context of my work as a male escort in Sydney, Australia.

The gist of the article is that older women (and also younger generations) are moving away from the model of conventional romantic relationships and instead finding happiness in deeper friendships (possibly with people of the same sex) rather than trying to get that from a romantic relationship.

This is I suspect influenced by changes in social norms and the decline of women’s financial dependence on men. (Many) women no-longer need to be in a relationship with a man to be able to provide for children, or just to get by.

So this opens up the opportunity for women to find different ways of satisfying their emotional needs and according the research quoted in the article many women are doing this through close friendships rather than romantic relationships with men.

I think that on the whole this is a positive thing. It is good to challenge conventional ideas about how we find happiness in life – and realising that it is possible to separate things like emotional fulfillment, intellectual fulfillment/challenge, and sexual fulfillment makes it much, much easier in my opinion to be able to fill your life with those things without being forced to compromise.

I literally see women doing this with my work. Women who have no-sexual relationships with a committed partner come to me for the sex that the relationship doesn’t give them. Others don’t have a committed relationship, but do have a strong friend network who give them emotional fulfillment, but not sex, so they come to me to get the physical intimacy that they don’t get elsewhere.

This isn’t a passing thing either. I have clients who have been coming to me for between five to ten years. So some women really do see my service as a long term part of their lives.

This won’t work for everyone, but I’m glad that sex work is decriminalised (mostly) here in Australia and can therefore help women to create better lives for themselves.

John

Why I have no desire to write a memoir

Living in the society and economy that we do there is always a temptation to capitalise on any perceived “value” that we may hold. Because why wouldn’t you in a world that is constantly trying to take as much money out of our pockets as possible. If there’s an easy way to earn some extra dollars then it makes sense.

As a male escort with over thirteen years of experience helping women in Australia it is fair to say that I have a story that has some “value”. People will occasionally ask me if I’m ever going to write a memoir. And my answer to that is: no, I have no plans to write a memoir.

There are two reasons why.

The first: I don’t actually think that my work makes for a compelling story. The vast majority of what I do is pretty simple. Someone contacts me, tells me a little about who they are and why they want to see me. We arrange a time to meet. We meet, spend some time getting comfortable with each other, usually over a glass of wine, or a cup of tea, or perhaps a meal. We spend some time having sex. Then they go on their way.

My work is not dining in fancy restaurants, going to shows, staying in expensive hotels, and having wild sex – there may be a little of “the high life” thrown in there occasionally, but for the most part it’s meeting normal women and couples and helping them to have a sexual experience that they need or want. No more or less than that.

And honestly that is perfect for me. I really enjoy this work, but as a natural introvert I wouldn’t enjoy “partying” five days a week.

So my sex work “story” isn’t going to be gossip about scandalous parties and high profile celebrities etc (which I wouldn’t share anyway). It would have to be about real people and their lives and challenges and experiences.

Which brings me to the second reason: that is something that I will never share – because I am sure that in anything that I write about my work, the clients involved would be able to see themselves, even if I didn’t mention them directly, they would still know that I was talking about them.

I feel that would be a betrayal of the trust that every woman puts in me to protect her privacy and her well being when she makes a booking. I don’t believe that there is any need for me to share this sort of personal story beyond what I already share in a small way on this website – always with permission from the person concerned. It wouldn’t make the world a better place if I were to share these stories. It would only be cynical grab for some cash by me.

The only thing that I can think of that might be worth writing is – with the permission of the people involved – some kind of documentation of their personal journey in regards to seeing a sex worker. That wouldn’t really be a memoir of mine, but more likely very specific miniature biographies of my clients – and the purpose would be to help other women in a similar situation to improve their lives.

I can’t think of any other justification honestly.

John

Sexstortion?

Ok, this wasn’t something I had on my 2023 bingo card – “Sextortion”. But I really shouldn’t be surprised I suppose. In this day and age of ever expanding online scamming, hacking, and spamming, lonely people looking for a connection really are an ideal target for people with no scruples and a desire for quick money.

So what is “sextortion”? From the article:

“…scammers are known to use sophisticated tactics to ensnare and exploit unwary love-seekers, engaging in what is increasingly known as “sextortion.” This worrying trend sees deceivers using emotional leverage to coerce individuals into sharing personal and often sensitive information or images, which can then be used as a means of extortion”

https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2023/11/10/is-online-dating-making-you-an-easy-target-for-sextortion-a-psychologist-explains/

I remember when scam emails claiming to have “hacked my web cam” started doing the rounds a while ago. The email claimed they had video of my doing unmentionable things and were going to share the videos of me with my family and friends and work colleges if I didn’t pay them a sum of bitcoin.

At the time I had a bit of a laugh about it because my webcam isn’t plugged in unless I’m using it, so it was clearly just a shotgun spray of emails to thousands or millions of email addresses in the hope of finding a few people who could be convinced to hand over money.

Clearly the tactics have evolved (even though I still get the “webcam scam” emails occasionally). So since many of the women I meet are actively using dating sites, or planning to, I think this is a good topic to cover.

I think that most people are aware of the basics of online safety, but it bares repeating in this case – be careful, trust your instincts, if something feels off (or too good to be true) then walk away.

Stay safe out there!

John