The ghost of Melbourne (and a life) past

Flinders St station - Melbourne

Flinders St station – Melbourne

I lived in Melbourne before I moved to Sydney. Specifically in Richmond, and before then Prahran when I was at university.

Back then Prahran was the poor cousin to, well, just about every other inner Melbourne suburb. The process of gentrification hadn’t really taken hold and it was still a cheap place to live. Affordable to students and just a short walk from where I studied. But the area was somewhat down at heal. Most of the pubs were still typical inner city dives – dark, smelling of beer, and inhabited by people there to drink away the day and forget. It wasn’t an inspiring landscape.

When we look back on our lives, we have pictures in our heads of the way that places were when we knew them. But nothing stays the same. Everything changes. Life moves on. Especially so in cities. But memories are comfortable places. They don’t challenge us, or ask us to change, or better ourselves. In fact they can be excellent excuses for not changing. For staying the same.

Last week while I was in Melbourne, I was lucky enough to have time to walk down Chapel St on Saturday night. Chapel St (for those of you who don’t know Melbourne) runs from Richmond, all the way down to St Kild. Through South Yarra and Prahran.

When I lived there, Chapel St had two faces: the glamorous South Yarra end and the down-at-heal Prahran end. Walking from one end to the other was to see a (certain) cross-section of life and culture in Australia.

The dazzle of Chapel St on Saturday night

The dazzle of Chapel St on Saturday night

Not any more.

I was truly stunned by what I saw. I had intended to only go half way down Chapel St, then turn right and head back to my hotel. But when I reached the half way point I was amazed to see that the glitter of South Yarra now spilled on into Prahran. Even the South Yarra end was more alive. More restaurants, more people, more activity – More life!

I blame Fifty Shades... but not too much

I blame Fifty Shades… but not too much

And it just went on and on… The further I walked, the bigger the change. The few restaurants in Prahran and the dingy shops have been replaced with more eating places than I could count – it seemed like every third shop front was a restaurant. And the shops themselves were now much more up market. And everywhere were people! Masses of them. When once Chapel St was a bit of a desert, even on Saturday night, now it was positively crowded! Tables full of people clogged the footpath, security staff stood guard at door after door of trendy pubs, clubs, and eateries. And everywhere were people going too and fro.

It was like nothing I ever expected to see in my old home.

And it was invigorating!

Chasers nightclub still exists?  25 years later?  How is that still 'cool'?

Chasers nightclub still exists? 25 years later? How is that still ‘cool’?

Not expecting to see anything of note, I didn’t bother to take my camera and sadly my phone battery died as well, so I only have a few photos to share. I tried to capture the moment, but it’s not an easy thing to do with such a brief photo essay.

Having walked the length of Chapel St and confirmed that my favourite theatre (The Astor) was indeed still there, I turn off Chapel St, walking past my old university (much renovated and upgraded I saw) and into the comparative darkness and quiet of High St, heading back to my hotel.

The walk gave me time to think. And the lesson that my exploration of Chapel St was trying to teach me was this: life is about change – or more to the point: life should be about change.

Especially when we are talking about ourselves. Places that stay the same, that don’t evolve, don’t challenge us. They allow us to be comfortable with who and what we are. They allow us to not grow. The extreme changes in Chapel St made me realise that not only were the memories that I had of that place no-longer current, but that my attitude toward that place was not even relevant any more! It made me stop and ask the question of _who_ I really am. Am I the person who went to university there? Are the ideas and attitudes that were shaped by that place – that doesn’t even exist any more – still useful and relevant? Was I living in the past? Did I need to look harder at myself?

The answer was and is: yes. We always need to be looking at ourselves, asking ourselves whether the ideas and beliefs that we hold are still relevant? Or are they holding us back from doing and being what we need to be? Are we letting the past dictate our future? Is it time to build a new life that gives us the things that we really want?

I wouldn’t expect Youtube to throw up instructional life lessons, but someone there threw up some ideas that mesh well with my exploration of Chapel St. He said words to the effect of: you need to stop regularly and ask yourself “Am I doing the one thing that I really want to be doing with my life?”. If the answer is no, then that is what you need to do.

Of course not everyone can simply change the course of their lives. We all have commitments and history that place limits on us. But the lesson is sound: we need to be constantly assessing ourselves and our life and making the changes that we need to make to be happy, healthy, and fulfilled.

This about the hardest, most scary thing that most people can do. We are hemmed in from day to day by responsibilities, by “conventional wisdom”, by expectations, by our own fear of change. But we can’t let that stop us.

We have to be brave – because the world simply WILL NOT WAIT for us. It will change around us. It will not care how difficult life will become. So it is up to every one of us to take on that challenge and find a way to thrive.

John.

Available in Sydney, and now regularly in Melbourne and Canberra

Male escorting in Australia is an ever evolving industry.  From one year to the next it’s certain that things change.  It is, I expect, part of the evolution of our society.  Years ago most of the women who came to me were in their later forties, recently divorced, and looking for an experience to rebuild their confidence in themselves and their sexuality.

A couple of years later and that age had dropped to early forties and many women were still married, but looking for a way to fill their needs and also maintain their relationship – often for the sake of their children.

Then it was couples looking for safe ways to explore their sexuality and expand their experience together.

Suffice to say that sex work is always different!  Part of that this year has been increased interest in my services from both Melbourne and Canberra.  So much so that I am now traveling to both cities regularly.

If you live in Melbourne and don’t fancy flying to Sydney to see me, then keep an eye on my website and I will publish the dates for my upcoming tours – currently I will be back in Melbourne in the first weekend of September.  I intend to visit Melbourne every second month, so you can also expect to see me there in November, January etc.

Canberra is another story.  Being so close to Sydney it’s easier for me to visit at shorter notice.  I won’t be publishing dates for regular tours in Canberra, but if you are interested in seeing me, then please don’t hesitate to contact me and we can arrange a time that suits you.

John.

A clear Melbourne winter day

For some reason the last few months have seen lots of bookings for me in Melbourne.  It’s nice to come down here, even in winter.

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It’s been a fun weekend, with a variety of Melbourne weather as one would expect.  I came prepared though and have remained warm and dry.

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I had forgotten just how beautiful Albert Park can be!  It’s a lovely spot.  I used to cycle around Albert Park with a cycling group when I lived in Prahran once upon a time.  It’s hard to forget the crisp Melbourne mornings.

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The things you see from up high!  The office building beside my hotel was in the process of being smashed apart, very slowly.  It’s strange to see buildings that seem perfectly useful being demolished.  It’s a similar situation around Olympic Park where I live – the office buildings being slowly bought up and then knocked down to build apartment blocks.

20160709_131533If I had a dollar for every time I have peered down a tram line trying to decide if that dot is actually a tram…  I miss Melbourne trams.  They really are part of the culture.  And so much more civilised than buses.

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It was a crisp sunny morning in Melbourne, the trees bare, and a cold breeze, but the sun keeping things warm!

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An excellent chance for a trip to the National Gallery of Victoria!  I haven’t been in years.

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The water wall at the entrance of the NGV is one of my favourite pieces of architecture.  It really is compelling.
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And this is why you should never sneak up on a Volkswagen Beetle!  Needless to say it’s not good for your resale value…
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I really have to say it’s a fabulous piece of art!

Next I spent some time walking through the Asian art collection.  I love seeing functional objects that are also made beautiful.  Asian cultures seem especially adept at this.

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Then we have the…

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I found the preponderance of religious iconography, heavy guilt frames, and sheer weight of oil rather oppressive and claustrophobic.

There were some gems though, including a Turner seascape,

20160709_142331this Monet,

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And some rather handsome marble busts.  I never cease to be amazed by what a capable sculptor can do with marble and some tools.

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If you have been following the news in NSW, then you will know that grey hound racing is being banned due to the appalling training practices of some owners, and the high number of dogs who die simply because they are too slow to race.  This detail (of a much larger painting) encapsulates why I agree with the ban.  Domesticated dogs can’t help but love humans.  They do whatever they can to please us.  So that puts the responsibility on us to make sure that their loyalty and love isn’t abused.  So if you are thinking about a dog, why not adopt a grey hound?

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The NGV has some rather nice restaurants these days.  I had a lovely lunch with a view of my favourite window!

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The Yarra River may have a poor reputation, but it’s a lot cleaner these days and you can’t deny that it’s beautiful on a crisp sunny morning!

I love this stretch particularly beside the boat sheds where I used to row.

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The old…

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And the new…

And with that, I am heading home!  It’s nice to visit Melbourne, but there’s no place like home and I am ready for my own space and most of all, my own bed!  So good bye Melbourne.  I will be back in September!  If you would like to book, please contact me, or keep an eye on this site for my travel dates.

John.

April in Melbourne – part one

I have just flown back to Sydney, having been in Melbourne for only two days – it felt like a lot longer though thanks to interesting people, a vibrant city, and catching up with family and friends.
I tweeted a lot of the trip because I was excited to be back in Melbourne and feeling a connection with it.  So I thought I would share those tweets…

I flew out of Sydney eventually, but only after Jetstar cancelled my flight and moved me to a qantas flight instead.  More aggravation than I needed and it left me lucky that my Monday afternoon booking had cancelled! Continue reading

Melbourne visit 26th and 27th of November

Just a quick post to let you know that I will be in Melbourne on the 26th and 27th of this month (November).  Please see my calendar on my Price & Booking page for my availability.

I will be at Sexpo on Saturday afternoon and am hoping to get along to The Night Cat in Fitzroy too.  I haven’t been there in years (litterally since before I moved to Sydney).

Hope to see you in Melbourne!

John.