Category Archives: Media

The Petra Joy – Joy Awards … first prize!

Posted on by
Reply

Back in April a client asked me if I would help her to make a short erotic film about her experience of hiring me.  Our date was one step in moving forward in her life and getting over a bad marriage.  The film was to be entered in the Petra Joy – Joy Award, a short film contest for first time female directors of erotica.

The journey through script writing, storyboarding, filming, post production editing, sound recording, score production, and then rendering of the finished movie was an amazing experience.  Not something that I have ever done at such a serious level.

The result was a short film (3 minutes 40 second long) that was unanimously voted to be the best submitted to the award this year.  Interestingly the second prize went to a woman in Melbourne!  So Australia was well represented in the Joy Awards this year.

John.

Work in the nude day (Australia)

Posted on by
Reply

What can I say … this one was made for me!

It is officially Australian, Work In The Nude Day.  At least that’s what the Sydney Morning Herald is reporting – and I am not about to argue.

http://www.smh.com.au/small-business/managing/blogs/enterprise/naked-ambition-baring-all-for-small-business-20121206-2awva.html

Frankly though it’s just business as usual for me!  I have worked for myself – usually from home – for almost all of my working life – and being able to strip off on a hot day is one of the great advantages of working for yourself.

So, here’s a photo to prove that I am well and truly getting into the spirit of Work In The Nude Day!

Continue reading →

Women expect too much from men in bed?

Posted on by
Reply

Given my line of work, I really shouldn’t be so surprised to see this article in the Herald today …

http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/why-women-expect-too-much-from-men-in-bed-20121114-29cgb.html

We live in a world where men and women seem to be constantly at war over our respective sexualities.  And there is no end in sight.

Articles like the one linked above demonstrate the simplistic views that many people hold.  And then try to foist on the rest of us.

Life is never simple, but if we are prepared to engage with our partner (male or female), understand what they want and need, and put in some effort to give it to them, then we may find that we get more back than we expected.

So lots of women loved Fifty Shades of Grey and it inspired them to start asking their partners for more in the bedroom?  I say that’s a good thing and something to be celebrated, not a cause for complaint.

John.

G-Spot non-sense

Posted on by
Reply

In line with the commercial worlds love of turning every little thing into a “problem” to be commercialised and exploited we now have g-spot collagen injections:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2221321/Hitting-G-Spot–800-injection-improve-orgasms-LAs-latest-lunchtime-craze.html

There were two things that caught my eye about this article (that basically sounded like bull-shit – pardon my language!).

‘I attended a consultation, where Professor Dartey explained that injecting collagen into my normal, pea-sized G-spot would enlarge it for up to four months. The results would mean longer, more intense orgasms.’

In my experience a woman’s g-spot is actually quite large.  The area on the front wall of the vagina that we call the g-spot is most definitely not the size of a pea.  It is actually more like the size of the end of you thumb.  It’s an area that when stimulated enlarges and feels pleasurable.  But it does take sustained effort of stimulation and genuine arousal for it to really start feeling good.  It also take practice to learn to really enjoy the sensation and for it to become part of your arousal to orgasm.  So instantly getting long intense orgasms from a collagen injection seems unlikely to me.  Continue reading →

Feminist porn

Posted on by
Reply

We just had a presentation from Tristan Taormino at Xplore about feminist porn.

She is a good presenter and makes an interesting topic even more fun.

Short story is that as a genera feminist porn (however you define it) it is growing at a huge rate. Lots of interesting new directors and content out there.

If you are interested to see more from Tristan Taormino have a look at her website:

http://www.puckerup.com

John.

Sex is not a weapon – or – make love not war on women …

Posted on by
Reply

I have (thanks to parents who taught me about right and wrong, and equality) always seen and treated women as my equals.  Not as better, not as inferior.  We are all human, different in some ways (defined by our DNA and body chemistry), but always deserving of respect and fair treatment.

So it’s sad to me to come across articles like this one “Why Women Still Can’t Enjoy Sex” from Fairfax’s Daily Life:

http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/dl-opinion/why-women-still-cant-enjoy-sex-20120321-1vjgg.html

The article itself makes good points about how both men and women shame women for wanting / having / enjoying sex (and lets not even start on being a sex worker).  Which all reminds me of my recent blog post about a new book by Jacqueline Hellyer on having better sex.

The world conspires against women (and men too) having good sex.  It’s insidious and it’s really detrimental to our relationship and to our happiness.

The answer is to allow sex and sexuality to be a part of our lives (whether you want it personally or not), not to relegate it to the back room, or use it as a stick to beat others with.  Lets talk about sex, have sex, and live sexual lives, rather than give in to the people who fear and hate sex and all of the joy that it can bring to our lives.

John.

What good sex does for us

Posted on by
Reply

To be a happy healthy person you need balance in your life.  Good food in moderation, exercise, companionship, challenges, and yes sex.

Our society is very good at telling us that we need to exercise more, eat better etc.  But sadly there is no-one talking about the role that sexuality can play in improving out lives.  It’s treated by most people as something that happens to some people and (if they are lucky) it’s good.

I have come to realise though that regular sex and sexual play can drastically alter a person’s personality and life in a positive way!  We have all seen it, or experienced it ourselves at one time or another, a workmate or friend turning up with that rosy cheeked look and a smile that just screams “I’ve been having really good sex”.  We treat that though as just a passing thing.  It’s a new relationship, or some life change means that you are having more sex with your partner.  And for a while the world is a rosy place and you are chilled out and happy.  But then the gloss wears off, things get dull, and sex goes back to being ho-hum, or absent.

Continue reading →

The thin end of the wedge

Posted on by
Reply

According to an article published in the Sydney Morning Herald today:

http://www.smh.com.au/world/you-know-what-men-are-like-indonesia-to-ban-miniskirts-over-links-to-rape-20120329-1vz7q.html

The Indonesian religious affairs minister is going to ban mini-skirts because they cause men to rape women.

I have no idea where to even start with this non-sense really.  Except to say that this is an excellent example of why allowing fundamentalist religious minorities to have power in any society is always a bad thing for women (it will also be bad for gay men, lesbians, and any other minority that catches the attention of these people)..

Bad for their liberty, bad for their health, bad for their education, and definitely bad for their sexuality.

In Indonesia the problem is fundamentalist Islam, in the US it’s fundamentalist Christianity.  In Australia we are largely immune to these forces, but it has been with a growing sense of dismay in recent times that I have watched people who I have considered intelligent, educated, and open minded fall down the rabbit hole of extreme religious views and start spouting nonsense that is on a par with Indonesia’s obsession with seeing women’s knees.

Continue reading →

Sex Tips for Busy People, by Jacqueline Hellyer

Posted on by
Reply

I love and enjoy sex.  A good thing given that I am a male escort for women.  Not everyone does – both men and women.  But most do.

Unfortunately our society often conspires to force us out of doing the things that are really conducive to wanting and having good sex.  The Sydney Morning Herald published an article recently about the book Sex Tips for Busy People, by Jacqueline Hellyer here:

www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/how-to-have-gourmet-sex-20120315-1v77z.html

The conclusions drawn in the article and book about how to revitalise your sex life centre around simple practical things.  Like making time that’s dedicated to sex, going to bed early, talking to your partner, being nice to each other.

These are things that my partner and I do as a matter of course, but as I said at the beginning, people’s lives ofte conspire against being able to do this stuff.  Stress, limited time, work, family pressures, and just the familiarity that a long term relationship brings can make it really hard to do these simple things.

The article uses the analogy of good sex being like a gourmet meal: it takes time and effort to prepare and as a result is more enjoyable and special because of that effort.  Which gave me a chuckle as (if you continue the analogy) you could consider that booking a date with me is like going to a good restaurant.  You don’t have to do the preparation and cooking, but you still get the great meal.

The life lesson though is that if you want good sex, you (both) have to work for it.  I am all in favor of that and it is one of the reasons that I offer my Masterclasses in oral sex.  Not everyone can afford my services on a regular basis, so I wanted to be able to give couples and singles a few more skills to help things along.

The more we think about our sex life, work at giving to our partner the better.  Sometimes it can’t, or won’t be reciprocated, but it’s definitely worth a try!

John.

The science of female orgasm

Posted on by
Reply

While browsing New Scientist on-line today I came across two articles about scientific study of female orgasm.  Links below:

There isn’t anything startlingly revelatory in either, but it does make for interesting reading.

For instance, fMRI scans have shown that for some women, stimulation of their nipples causes a response in their brain in the same area that vaginal stimulation activates.  As mentioned in the article, to female researchers this is completely obvious.  However male researchers were surprised (which frankly is not surprising).

One of the main findings is summed up here:

“During orgasm, almost the whole brain becomes highly active”

This is interesting, as it matches what I have been told by women: that during an intense orgasm they are totally transported out of the “here and now”.  It also explains perhaps why, if your mind is being distracted by other things, or not entirely engaged with the experience that it is so hard to achieve orgasm.

If you are interested in the science of orgasm, then these articles are worth a look.

John.