The Sydney Skinny!

On Sunday I was lucky enough to participate in the Sydney Skinny, for those who don’t know it, it is an open water nude swim in Sydney Harbour at Cobbler Beach.  It is run each year around late February.

You can see the website here: http://www.thesydneyskinny.com.au/

The swim has two distances: a 300 meter swim and a 900 meter swim.  It is arranged in “waves” of about 50 swimmers each and this year they ran more than ten waves.  It’s really popular!  It is also really fun.  The atmosphere of the event was truly delightful.  Everyone was very respectful, very relaxed, and appeared to be enjoying themselves.  It’s not a race, there is no timing and no prizes, it’s a challenge only to yourself, to swim, to be nude in public, to accept yourself as you are.  Not always an easy thing to do.

I am lucky enough to have been comfortable with my body, with nudity, for pretty much all of my life.  Not so for everyone who was there.  But I didn’t see anyone back out.  Everyone stripped off and everyone swam.  There is a real comfort in seeing other people around you happily taking off their clothes, and not treating it like a big deal.  Just doing it.  And having fun while they are doing it.  It’s such a different celebration of nudity and the human body (in all shapes and sizes) than the one that is given to us by the media and the rest of society every day.

It is how I think that nudity should be treated.  Not good or bad.  Just natural.  Something that doesn’t have to be commented upon, sexualised, or demonised.  So I think that at the end of the day, this is the value of The Sydney Skinny.  It lets us be ourselves and be comfortable with who we are when there is no barrier between us and the world.

If you want to try a different form of self expression and to get out in the open air then I highly recommend The Sydney Skinny.  It may be challenging for you.  It may be easy.  But I am sure that it will be fun.

John.

Debunking the myths of sex work – from the Sydney Morning Herald

The Sydney Morning Herald’s Daily Life column has an article about sex work today.  You can see it here.

http://www.dailylife.com.au/health-and-fitness/debunking-the-myths-of-sex-work-20130429-2iodn.html

I think that the article is a reasonalbe and sensible wrap up of sex work.  In summary “sex workers are people too, so why not be nice to them”.  Ok, that might be a little glib, but you take my point I hope.

For the first time every I have managed to get a comment published.  I was prompted to firstly by the question raised in the article of whether male sex workers (like myself) and their clients have a different experience of the industry and the general “shaming” that goes on against sex workers.

What has delighted me constantly over the years that I have worked as an escort is the huge amount of support that I have had from both clients and from the few people in my life who I have told about what I do.

So here’s my point, amplified by the many mindless comments on the artile linked above that dismiss prostitution out of hand: being able to come to someone like me for companionship, intimacy, and sex is a vital option for both men and women to have in our society.  Why?  Because all too often the nature of our society doesn’t provide those things for people.  Perhaps they have been in an abusive relationship (emotionally, or physically) and need someone they can absolutely trust to help them repair their self-esteem, or accept intimacy again, or have a disability that prevents them from forming a conventional relationship in the first place.  Or perhaps they just want and need physical company right now, but don’t have a socially acceptable relationship to provide it.

The reasons are many and varied, but you can be absolutely sure that when people start making blanket statements about prostitution being bad/demeaning/imoral etc that the person has never worked in the industry, and probably never actually needed the services themselves (“need” being distinct here from just having indulged).

This isn’t to say that a person has to have a specific need to use my services.  But it begs the question of why can’t we treat sex as something fun to do?  People in relationships have sex for fun all the time, so why shouldn’t someone who isn’t in a relationship choose to buy sex for fun?

At the end of the day I like seeing discussion of sexuality in the media.  It may attract the trolls and nutters to denounce it as evil, but every article raises questions and gets people thinking and talking about the issues.  Which has to be a good thing.

John.

The Sydney Skinny

Well, I would choose this weekend of all the weekends of the year to be away in Melbourne!  As a result, I missed the inaugural Sydney Skinny.  That being a 900m mass nude swim in Middle Harbour.  I was very disappointed to miss it.

You can read about it here:

http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/no-bathers-no-worries-for-worlds-first-nude-ocean-swim-20130217-2eks3.html

Nudity (especially shared) can be so much fun.  Sigh, well, I guess that I will just have to wait for next year now …

John.

 

The Petra Joy – Joy Awards … first prize!

Back in April a client asked me if I would help her to make a short erotic film about her experience of hiring me.  Our date was one step in moving forward in her life and getting over a bad marriage.  The film was to be entered in the Petra Joy – Joy Award, a short film contest for first time female directors of erotica.

The journey through script writing, storyboarding, filming, post production editing, sound recording, score production, and then rendering of the finished movie was an amazing experience.  Not something that I have ever done at such a serious level.

The result was a short film (3 minutes 40 second long) that was unanimously voted to be the best submitted to the award this year.  Interestingly the second prize went to a woman in Melbourne!  So Australia was well represented in the Joy Awards this year.

John.

Work in the nude day (Australia)

What can I say … this one was made for me!

It is officially Australian, Work In The Nude Day.  At least that’s what the Sydney Morning Herald is reporting – and I am not about to argue.

http://www.smh.com.au/small-business/managing/blogs/enterprise/naked-ambition-baring-all-for-small-business-20121206-2awva.html

Frankly though it’s just business as usual for me!  I have worked for myself – usually from home – for almost all of my working life – and being able to strip off on a hot day is one of the great advantages of working for yourself.

So, here’s a photo to prove that I am well and truly getting into the spirit of Work In The Nude Day!

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Women expect too much from men in bed?

Given my line of work, I really shouldn’t be so surprised to see this article in the Herald today …

http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/why-women-expect-too-much-from-men-in-bed-20121114-29cgb.html

We live in a world where men and women seem to be constantly at war over our respective sexualities.  And there is no end in sight.

Articles like the one linked above demonstrate the simplistic views that many people hold.  And then try to foist on the rest of us.

Life is never simple, but if we are prepared to engage with our partner (male or female), understand what they want and need, and put in some effort to give it to them, then we may find that we get more back than we expected.

So lots of women loved Fifty Shades of Grey and it inspired them to start asking their partners for more in the bedroom?  I say that’s a good thing and something to be celebrated, not a cause for complaint.

John.

G-Spot non-sense

In line with the commercial worlds love of turning every little thing into a “problem” to be commercialised and exploited we now have g-spot collagen injections:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2221321/Hitting-G-Spot–800-injection-improve-orgasms-LAs-latest-lunchtime-craze.html

There were two things that caught my eye about this article (that basically sounded like bull-shit – pardon my language!).

‘I attended a consultation, where Professor Dartey explained that injecting collagen into my normal, pea-sized G-spot would enlarge it for up to four months. The results would mean longer, more intense orgasms.’

In my experience a woman’s g-spot is actually quite large.  The area on the front wall of the vagina that we call the g-spot is most definitely not the size of a pea.  It is actually more like the size of the end of you thumb.  It’s an area that when stimulated enlarges and feels pleasurable.  But it does take sustained effort of stimulation and genuine arousal for it to really start feeling good.  It also take practice to learn to really enjoy the sensation and for it to become part of your arousal to orgasm.  So instantly getting long intense orgasms from a collagen injection seems unlikely to me.  Continue reading

Feminist porn

We just had a presentation from Tristan Taormino at Xplore about feminist porn.

She is a good presenter and makes an interesting topic even more fun.

Short story is that as a genera feminist porn (however you define it) it is growing at a huge rate. Lots of interesting new directors and content out there.

If you are interested to see more from Tristan Taormino have a look at her website:

http://www.puckerup.com

John.

Sex is not a weapon – or – make love not war on women …

I have (thanks to parents who taught me about right and wrong, and equality) always seen and treated women as my equals.  Not as better, not as inferior.  We are all human, different in some ways (defined by our DNA and body chemistry), but always deserving of respect and fair treatment.

So it’s sad to me to come across articles like this one “Why Women Still Can’t Enjoy Sex” from Fairfax’s Daily Life:

http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/dl-opinion/why-women-still-cant-enjoy-sex-20120321-1vjgg.html

The article itself makes good points about how both men and women shame women for wanting / having / enjoying sex (and lets not even start on being a sex worker).  Which all reminds me of my recent blog post about a new book by Jacqueline Hellyer on having better sex.

The world conspires against women (and men too) having good sex.  It’s insidious and it’s really detrimental to our relationship and to our happiness.

The answer is to allow sex and sexuality to be a part of our lives (whether you want it personally or not), not to relegate it to the back room, or use it as a stick to beat others with.  Lets talk about sex, have sex, and live sexual lives, rather than give in to the people who fear and hate sex and all of the joy that it can bring to our lives.

John.

What good sex does for us

To be a happy healthy person you need balance in your life.  Good food in moderation, exercise, companionship, challenges, and yes sex.

Our society is very good at telling us that we need to exercise more, eat better etc.  But sadly there is no-one talking about the role that sexuality can play in improving out lives.  It’s treated by most people as something that happens to some people and (if they are lucky) it’s good.

I have come to realise though that regular sex and sexual play can drastically alter a person’s personality and life in a positive way!  We have all seen it, or experienced it ourselves at one time or another, a workmate or friend turning up with that rosy cheeked look and a smile that just screams “I’ve been having really good sex”.  We treat that though as just a passing thing.  It’s a new relationship, or some life change means that you are having more sex with your partner.  And for a while the world is a rosy place and you are chilled out and happy.  But then the gloss wears off, things get dull, and sex goes back to being ho-hum, or absent.

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