Category Archives: Health

Women expect too much from men in bed?

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Given my line of work, I really shouldn’t be so surprised to see this article in the Herald today …

http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/society-and-culture/why-women-expect-too-much-from-men-in-bed-20121114-29cgb.html

We live in a world where men and women seem to be constantly at war over our respective sexualities.  And there is no end in sight.

Articles like the one linked above demonstrate the simplistic views that many people hold.  And then try to foist on the rest of us.

Life is never simple, but if we are prepared to engage with our partner (male or female), understand what they want and need, and put in some effort to give it to them, then we may find that we get more back than we expected.

So lots of women loved Fifty Shades of Grey and it inspired them to start asking their partners for more in the bedroom?  I say that’s a good thing and something to be celebrated, not a cause for complaint.

John.

101 Vaginas – a pictorial project to change perceptions

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I came across an interesting project today on the Pozible crowd source funding website.

About the project: What is 101 Vagina?

Please see the main project website here: http://101vagina.com

“101 Vagina is about breaking down the taboos and shame around our bodies in general and vaginas in particular, to celebrate diversity and generate dialogue.

It will be a coffee table photo book with 101 black & white photos and an accompanying message from or about the woman’s vagina.”

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Ok, firstly, I am not going to take them to task (too much) about the name.  Really, it should be 101 Vulvas, since thats what they are talking about.  It seems to be a very common misconception.  A woman’s external genitals is called her vulva.  The vagina is all internal.

While I am all for breaking taboos and setting people straight on what a “normal” pussy can look like, I am also big on getting the terminology right!

Still, this strikes me as a good project.  Something to strike a blow against the airbrushed anonymity of how pussies have been made to look thanks to John Howard and his ilk passing laws preventing a woman’s inner labia being shown in R18+ rated material sold in this country.

This kind political and moralistic insanity has resulted in countless women undergoing unnecessary surgery to have the size of their inner labia reduced because they have been made to feel insecure about the way that their pussy looks.

I have written about this issue before here, but I love the idea of this book and now that I have a coffee table (!) I most definitely want to have this book on it.

I have pledged $100 to the production of the book, so fingers crossed that it hits its target!

John

What is 101 Vagina?

Please see the main project website here: http://101vagina.com

101 Vagina is about breaking down the taboos and shame around our bodies in general and vaginas in particular, to celebrate diversity and generate dialogue.

It will be a coffee table photo book with 101 black & white photos and an accompanying message from or about the woman’s vagina.

G-Spot non-sense

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In line with the commercial worlds love of turning every little thing into a “problem” to be commercialised and exploited we now have g-spot collagen injections:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2221321/Hitting-G-Spot–800-injection-improve-orgasms-LAs-latest-lunchtime-craze.html

There were two things that caught my eye about this article (that basically sounded like bull-shit – pardon my language!).

‘I attended a consultation, where Professor Dartey explained that injecting collagen into my normal, pea-sized G-spot would enlarge it for up to four months. The results would mean longer, more intense orgasms.’

In my experience a woman’s g-spot is actually quite large.  The area on the front wall of the vagina that we call the g-spot is most definitely not the size of a pea.  It is actually more like the size of the end of you thumb.  It’s an area that when stimulated enlarges and feels pleasurable.  But it does take sustained effort of stimulation and genuine arousal for it to really start feeling good.  It also take practice to learn to really enjoy the sensation and for it to become part of your arousal to orgasm.  So instantly getting long intense orgasms from a collagen injection seems unlikely to me.  Continue reading →

Cycling

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If I had to choose, then I would always choose summer over winter.  Warmth, light, longer days.  It’s just good to be alive in summer.  So as the weather has warmed up I have been building up a new exercise regime.  A big part of it is cycling.  I have been an avid cyclist and triathlete for much of my life, but as life goes on work and other things tend to get in the way.  Not to mention the fact that in the 25 years that I have been cycling seriously on the road, the levels of traffic have increased hugely.  So there have been plenty of disincentives to pulling on the skin suit and cranking out some miles.

One of the (many) good things about living where I now do (at Sydney Olympic Park) is the great roads and relatively small amounts of traffic.

So today I hopped on my (push) bike and did a couple of laps of the village.  I have no idea what the distance was, or how fast I did it, but I certainly enjoyed getting out in the fresh air and pushing myself physically.

Cycling is great exercise, it’s low impact and high intensity cardiovascular.  It’s also perfect for doing High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT).  From the Wikipedia article:

an exercise strategy alternating periods of short intense anaerobic exercise with less-intense recovery periods. HIIT is a form of cardiovascular exercise. Usual HIIT sessions may vary from 9–20 minutes. These short, intense workouts provide improved athletic capacity and condition, improved glucose metabolism, and improved fat burning.

My partner has used HIIT with great success to lose over 20 kgs.  And while I don’t need to lose weight particularly, I will most certainly benefit from keeping my heart and lungs in great shape.

So, I am now relaxing in that delicious afterglow that only comes from full exertion.  Feeling alive and potent and full of potential!

John.

Laser hair removal

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A couple of weeks ago I decided to shave myself below the waist line (no not the legs – mine are already naturally almost hair free).  It’s almost the norm of course for women to do this, but most guys don’t give it much though.  I haven’t for many years, but decided it was time for something different.

The results of more smooth skin available to be touched was in a word fabulous for me and generated significant complements too!  So all in all it was a positive change.  Then the re-growth, itching, and ingrown hairs began.  I hadn’t forgotten about this, but it focused my attention.  The new style was such a success that I want to keep it, so the logical solution was to get serious and make it “permanent” with laser removal.

Continue reading →

A male contaceptive pill …

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The Sydney Morning Herald has an article that caught my eye online today:

http://www.smh.com.au/technology/sci-tech/of-mice-and-men-male-pill-gets-closer-20120816-24biz.html

At first glance I thought “wow, that’s great”.  But on reflection I am not so sure that the statement in the article:

hormone-free contraceptive drugs for men have been elusive, contributing to high rates of unplanned pregnancies across the world, especially among teenagers.

is accurate or useful.  It implies that if a male contraceptive drug is available then the rates of unwanted pregnancies across the world would drop significantly (especially among teenagers).

Why?  Well, there exists now in the world a form of male contraception that is very cheap, very reliable, widely available, can be used at a moments notice, can be stored for long periods, requires no prescription, is immediately reversible and also protects against the majority of STIs.

It’s called a condom.  And if used consistently and with just a little bit of care, then it is very, very effective.  I know this from personal experience.

So, condoms are easy to use, readily available etc etc.  And yet women have unplanned pregnancies.  How is a male pill, that will require (I assume, since it’s not stated in the article), regular doses, a trip to the doctor for prescriptions, and (lets not forget) honesty of the part of the male going to increase the likelihood of effective contraception?

Frankly I can’t see how.  My guess is that the results will be quite the opposite.  I can hear the refrain now … “don’t worry darling, I’m on the pill, it will be fine”.

I would expect an increase in unplanned pregnancies, as well as a rise in the incidence of STIs.

Lets face it, there is very little incentive for men to care about contraception outside of a stable relationship.  This news makes me think that the money spent on the research would be better spent on education.

John.

Life is more fun when you’re fit and healthy

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There is no denying that life is more fun when we are fit and healthy.  You feel good, you feel virtuous, you can do the things you want to do.  And it makes sex and relationships better.

The list goes on and on.  Sadly, the society that we live in makes it ever harder to look after our diet and exercise needs; putting tempting foods, and longer working hours in our way every day.

My whole life I have been an active person.  I played hockey from age seven and have never looked back: cross-country running, skiing, cycling, swimming, triathlon, sailing, rock climbing and more.  Exercise and a good diet have become the habits of a lifetime for me.

I get out to exercise most days, but usually I am doing it alone.  So, here’s my offer:

Would you like to be a fitter, healthier version of yourself and have fun doing it?  Then employ me as your personal trainer+.

Continue reading →

Xplore Festival Sydney

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Today I am attending the second day of the Xplore Festival. Its been a lot of fun so far, but I was dissapointed to miss the first day.

So far today I have done a workshop on Dirty Talk. Very entertaining, and gave me lots to think about.

The second session was on Domination and Submission and Tantra. I dont get into spirituality, but the breathing and connecting with another person was good.

John.

More women opt for genital plastic surgury

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Stories come up in the media from time to time about women having genital (cosmetic) plastic surgery and I am always left feeling really sad by them.  Take this example from the Sydney Morning Herald:

http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/wellbeing/more-women-opt-for-genital-plastic-surgery-20101107-17j1f.html

The second paragraph was what really surprised me:

The biggest increase in vaginoplasty and labioplasty has been among teenagers and those in their early 20s.

Teenage women (girls as young as 15 the article goes on to say) having labioplasty? (A procedure where a portion of the inner labia are cut off to make them protrude less).  What on earth is going on?

Continue reading →

Sex is not a weapon – or – make love not war on women …

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I have (thanks to parents who taught me about right and wrong, and equality) always seen and treated women as my equals.  Not as better, not as inferior.  We are all human, different in some ways (defined by our DNA and body chemistry), but always deserving of respect and fair treatment.

So it’s sad to me to come across articles like this one “Why Women Still Can’t Enjoy Sex” from Fairfax’s Daily Life:

http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/dl-opinion/why-women-still-cant-enjoy-sex-20120321-1vjgg.html

The article itself makes good points about how both men and women shame women for wanting / having / enjoying sex (and lets not even start on being a sex worker).  Which all reminds me of my recent blog post about a new book by Jacqueline Hellyer on having better sex.

The world conspires against women (and men too) having good sex.  It’s insidious and it’s really detrimental to our relationship and to our happiness.

The answer is to allow sex and sexuality to be a part of our lives (whether you want it personally or not), not to relegate it to the back room, or use it as a stick to beat others with.  Lets talk about sex, have sex, and live sexual lives, rather than give in to the people who fear and hate sex and all of the joy that it can bring to our lives.

John.