There is a problem with antidepressants

Disclaimer – I am not a doctor. Please don’t take anything I say here as medical advice. Check with your doctor before you make any decisions about using antidepressants.

Over the years I have met a lot of women who have been taking SSRI antidepressants (selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors). Many of them have, as a side effect, found it either very difficult, or impossible to reach orgasm while taking these medication – and the effects don’t just disappear as soon as you stop taking an SSRI, it can take time and may leave you experiencing sexual stimulation differently.

Everyone has to make the decision that is right for them about the medication that they take, whether they can accept the side effects given the benefits etc. My problem is that doctors seem to down play, or not explain – or possibly not even know – many of the side-effects of the medications that they are prescribing. 

In the case of SSRI’s I believe that the effects on sexual function are seen as virtually irrelevant by many doctors and are rarely explained.  You could reasonably say that treating the symptoms of depression, which can be very serious, are more important than a woman being able to have an orgasm.  But that is treating depression in a very narrow way and in my opinion overlooks the benefits of a healthy sex life.

SSRIs tend to smooth out emotional swings, preventing the huge dips and also preventing the highs, but it should also be recognised that taking away what is a very intimate pleasure – being able to achieve orgasm – can be extremely distressing. 

We shouldn’t – in my opinion – be sacrificing one thing for another – or, at the very least, making sure that people are *fully* aware of the consequences of taking the medication that they are being prescribed before they start to take it.


Even AI (companies) hate sex work

You have probably been hearing about artificial intelligence in the media recently.  The company OpenAI in particular has been making a lot of waves with its ChatGPT artificial intelligence service.  And honestly ChatGPT is absolutely astounding in what it can achieve.

So, being the person I am with an interest in technology and how it can help me I thought I’d have a look at ChatGPT and see what it might be able to do for me and my business as a male escort for women.

One of the favourite tests you can see people on Youtube doing with ChatGPT is asking it to give them suggestions for articles to write about a subject.  Knowing virtually nothing about ChatGPT and how to drive it besides what I had seen other people do I thought I’d start with that.  I wanted to write an article for this site today but wasn’t feeling inspired by any of the ideas I’ve jotted down in the last couple of weeks.

So I asked ChatGPT: “Suggest some article subjects about female sexuality and male escorts”.  This is what came back:

While all the suggestions were relatively “high-level” the topics that ChatGPT suggested were definitely on target.  So well done ChatGPT.

However there is a problem.  “This content may violate our content policy…”

Sigh.  Here we go…

I dutifully followed the link provided to OpenAI’s content policy and I find this:

“Disallowed usage of our models

We don’t allow the use of our models for the following:”

Promoting sexual services.  Yup.  That’s me banned then. 

I haven’t been involved in sex work advocacy for several years now, but this sort of thing reminds me that the fight for the rights of sex workers is far, far, FAR from over.

I first bumped into this kind of problem when making erotic films.  Music is an important part of setting the mood in a film and several years ago there was a big boom in online royalty free music libraries (which ironically generative AI may yet kill).  That’s great because you can subscribe, download the music that suits your work, add it in and you are done, nothing more to pay.  But not if you are making erotic content.  That’s *always* excluded in their terms of service.  Last time I checked, none of the big royalty free music sites allowed use of their libraries in anything “adult” related.  As a result there is only a quite small set of music that I can legally choose from when making a new film.

And of course OpenAI have done the same thing.  Western (in particular US and Australian) prudishness is incredibly exclusionary and as stock or AI generated images and music become more and more prevalent, sex workers and our ability to create and promote our work becomes harder.

Now my business isn’t about to fail because I can’t use a song, or have AI generate article topics, but it’s another barrier unfairly place in front of me and every other sex worker in the world. And it demonstrates that the fight for sex work rights – which ultimately translates into your right as a prospective, or actual purchaser of sex work services – is an ongoing battle.

There will always be people who openly and directly oppose us and our work, but the people and businesses who casually oppose us because they are too scared of what the loud people might say about them are just as big a problem and far more insidious.


When sex work is criminalised sexual assault increases

For many years now I’ve been an advocate for the decriminalisation of sex work – which I benefit from here in NSW (and increasingly in other states and territories here in Australia and New Zealand). I encourage decriminalisation because it is very good for the health and safety and general well-being of sex workers and clients.

Now there is evidence that it is good for the rest of society as well. I was sent a link to an article that reported on a recent study of 31 European countries from 1990 to 2017 which shows that countries that liberalised their sex work laws saw a decrease in instances of rape. Where as countries that cracked down in sex work saw an increase in instances of rape.

So there we have it. Consensual sex work makes society safer (it wasn’t clear from the article if the statistics were gendered or not). 

I’m pleased to hear this news and it adds yet another reason to support decriminalisation. 

One unexpected result from the study was that countries that criminalised the purchase of sex but not the sale of sex had the worst outcomes. I doubt that will make the people who are fighting to “abolish” sex work, especially through the criminalisation of its purchase, stop and think about the harm that they are actually doing to their society. But at least it’s empirical evidence to throw in the face of the lawmakers who listen to them and vote to criminalise sex work on the basis of “protecting women”.

We are extremely lucky here in most of Australia and New Zealand – as sex workers and as clients. It is easy to forget that the all of the rest of the world labours under some sort of criminalisation of sex services. For all our faults as a society here in Australia we have at least gotten that right.


We need to have a conversation about terminology

I recently happened across this article from (here) that I was quoted in a while back and I thought upon reading it again that it was worth commenting on the reader’s word choice when referring to sex workers.

“Prostitute” is a loaded term.  And for people who work in my industry it has a lot of negative connotations.  It’s why most people who sells sexual services prefers the term “sex worker”.

It’s a much more clear definition. It’s work. And it involves sex. We are sex workers.

Culturally the term “prostitute” is linked to exploitation, implies a lack of autonomy (individually and financially) and even a lack of legitimacy.

The idea that someone “had to prostitute themselves” to survive, or succeed is an inherently negative statement. “had to”. Not “chose to”. Or “wanted to”. “Had to” is the way we would most likely hear that described.

And this is where people who oppose sex work will say “But what about all of the women who have no choice?” (they rarely acknowledge that men do sex work too). The answer is that those people are generally what we call “survival sex workers”. Forced by economic, personal, or social realities to do work that they may not choose to otherwise – and they are often punished legally and socially because of that.

As sex workers we support these people and their right to survive however they have to, but at the same time what we fight for is to see the work decriminalised so that they can seek any and all physical, legal, and medical help that they may need to do their work in safety and good health.

Every society has sex work. It is a reality of humanity – but how we look at sex work and especially the words we choose when we are talking about it go a long way to how sex workers are treated and perceived.

So while “prostitute” may be a linguistically valid word to describe what I do, it is not the right word for todays society. I am not a “prostitute” I am a “sex worker”, with all of the connotations that carries.


ChatGPT, A.I. and the risks it poses to authenticity in sex work

I have long believed that one of the keys to my success as a male sex worker/escort here in Sydney is that I write so much on this website. Through the window of these posts, you, my reader can get a picture of who I am as a person. What I care about, what my values are etc.

My writing is the principal way that you get to know me and make the decision that I am right for you. Most women who contact me have spent weeks or months browsing this site on and off and when we finally meet it almost always feels like we are picking up a conversation that started before we even met.

And now, into this happy arrangement step A.I. chat bots.

A.I. chat bots have been in the news a lot recently. From Microsoft’s Bing chat bot “trying to break up a journalist’s marriage” to students turning in essays written by ChatGPT. These A.I.s are getting very powerful (and deranged, although none have gone full Nazi recently which is nice – or possibly ominous…).

Whenever some new wanna-be male escort asks me “what is the trick to getting clients”, I always answer: “build a website and talk about the things you care about and value”. It’s really not a secret. Do that and you will (for better or worse for your career as a male sex worker) tell the world exactly who you are.

But what happens when you can say to ChatGPT or its siblings “write an article about giving oral sex to women in the voice of John Oh”. This is a legitimate instruction that you can give ChatGPT right now (extrapolating from what I have read) and it will spit out an essay that sounds like my voice, and will give you (possibly) reliable information about giving oral sex to women.

If a random man, with no experience, who wants to be a male sex worker publishes a website to market his services and populates it with content created this way – how do you, the potential customer, know who to choose? This is quickly becoming a very real risk.

In the past I always felt incredulous that sex workers would pay other people to write content for them – but at the same time it was obvious that while more content will help a sex worker’s website to rank well on Google, the nuances (or lack there of) won’t help to engage potential clients who are well suited to them, so they were ultimately making their own lives harder.

That however is nothing by comparison with what ChatGPT can achieve. It is in theory now possible for anyone to quickly and cheaply craft and publish a convincing image of an “urbane and sexually experienced male companion for women”, or “the hot young gym junky who’ll rock you all night”, while being none of those things.

Given the horrible experience had by a woman (that I recounted in a recent post: here) I am genuinely worried about where the future lies for women trying to work out who is the right companion for them to see.

I have no doubt that soulless corporations and the mainstream media are already using these tools, but frankly the quality of human made copyrighting and journalism these days probably makes the value of much of what we are served online very low already.

For women, choosing a sex worker though is a much bigger deal. For now I think that it is still safe to say that if his presence online works for you then it’s probably genuine. However that may not be the case in the near future. I suppose time will tell.


Male sex work for women is NOT a game

Today I am angry – and sad. But mostly angry.

I hate having to write this, because I love my work and my industry and I want everyone who hires a sex worker to have a fun, fulfilling, and safe time. Sadly though it needs to be said: there are too many wanna-be male sex workers for women out there taking people’s money and giving back nothing, or worse hurting vulnerable women for their own ego fantasy of being paid for sex.

I occasionally hear stories from clients about how another male worker they have seen “didn’t do it for them” etc and that’s fine. I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea either which is why I go out of my way to make it abundantly clear who I am and what I value through what I write on this website, in the hope that I can give the women who visit a clear enough picture of who I am that they can make an informed decision to book me.

Far more often though I hear stories about the male escort who “turned up coked out of his head and couldn’t even get an erection and still demanded to be paid”, or the guys who just never turn up, or the man who couldn’t go out to dinner with a client who booked an overnight dinner date because he “couldn’t be seen in public with her” and then left at 6.00am to “go to work”.

All of this is unprofessional to say the least and definitely harms the industry and the women who want and need our services.

But it gets worse. Men regularly contact me to ask for help getting into the industry. I tell them all, the same thing: as a male escort (assuming their client is respectful and has good hygiene) it is their job to be able to have sex with anyone who books with them – and if they have any doubt that they can do that reliably then they absolutely should not work as a male sex worker.


Because rejecting a woman who is paying you for sex because she “isn’t attractive enough for you” will be horribly hurtful to any woman – and a crushing blow to someone who is emotionally fragile.

Someone I have known as a client for many years had exactly that experience recently and – with her permission – I will describe what happened in the hope that it will help anyone who wants to book a male sex worker a better chance of having a good experience.

She booked a session with a male sex worker from one of the popular online directories, then booked a hotel room in the city to see him. The booking started ok, but his oral sex skills were poor and frustrating and his stubble was abrasive.

So they tried to have sex instead. While he was hard to start with, once he put on a condom and started having sex he went soft. That’s a problem and unacceptable in a male sex worker, but what he did then was unforgivable “he said I’m sorry, this has never happened to me before, I’m not attracted to you or your body”. So she ended the booking and asked for a refund of her money. He refused to give her even a partial refund and left.

Left her out of pocket for the booking and the hotel, without the service that had been promised, and with the parting gift of crushing her self-esteem. The following day he messaged her “to apologise and to thank me for making him realise that he was not cut out for the profession after all”.

This is unethical behaviour, it’s exploitative, and it’s emotionally abusive. Being a sex worker for women is not a place to work out your fantasies, or learn about yourself at the expense of other people.

It’s a serious job that comes with consequences for the people who pay their hard earned money for your service, if you can’t do your job. Imagine being told that you are the reason someone quit their profession. The lack of even basic empathy is astonishing and horrible.

So how can you increase your chance of making a good choice of male sex worker? Here are a few things to look for and consider:

  • Any truly professional male escort will have his own website. If his only online presence is an add in an escort directory then he is most likely just doing sex work on the side or for fun and may be very inexperienced. An add on these services costs very little so any man that fancies himself as a male escort can put an add up in a matter of minutes
  • Further to the above point – if all you have to go on is a cookie cutter description and some glamorous photos of his “ripped abs”, then know that what you are seeing is a facade and tells you nothing about the actual person, his values, or his abilities in bed
  • If you can’t talk to him easily and feel that he is understanding your needs and limits then don’t book him. As male sex workers we get paid very well for our time and we should make the effort to engage in a real conversation with a client before she commits to a booking with us. If he refuses to invest anything but the minimum of his time in you before the booking then that’s a huge red flag. This man doesn’t see you as a person, he sees you just as a pay check
  • If he is happy to chat, then really listen to the conversation. The more people talk, the more they tell you about themselves unintentionally. This is why I write so much on this website – the thirteen years of writing, photos, and short films that I have on here will give you a very good idea of who I am and what I value. And if who and what I am isn’t for you then ok, there are other men out there who will be better suited to your needs. I would rather that you see someone else than see me and have an unrewarding experience
  • If he wants to see a photo of you, or ID before accepting you booking – walk away, don’t even bother with him. A male escort never needs to know your real name, let alone where you live. Unlike with female sex workers, he is the one who has the power in the transaction and if he is prepared to abuse it like that then he probably isn’t safe to see

There are also things that you can proactively do to help make a better choice of male escort (I know that most of them are fairly obvious, but I also know that sometimes we need to feel like we have permission to ask for these things. Here are a few ideas:

  • Most women who contact me, tell me, if not about themselves, then at least about what they want and need and any issues they have that might be relevant to a booking (like inexperience sexually, or haven’t had sex in several years, don’t want or like a particular act). I can provide for most women’s needs, but many of the men out there doing sex work can’t, or wont. Giving them ample warning of your needs is a good way to pick the right guy in the first instance and a basis to demand a refund from him if he fails to provide what he promised
  • Ask if he will guarantee his service (he’s legally required to here in Australia). This will sort the serious escorts from the playboys. If he has the confidence to say you will be satisfied or it’s free, then you know at the very least that if you aren’t satisfied that you will get your money back
  • If you are worried about your appearance or some aspect of yourself and if you will be attractive to the worker you are thinking of booking, then it’s ok to tell them that and ask for reassurance. He should be enthusiastic, he should try to put you at easy, and he should commit to refunding you if he can’t perform, if he isn’t then that’s a red flag
  • It shouldn’t have to be said, but being punctual, presentable, sober, and ready to work is basic professionalism for a male sex worker. It’s fine to tell a man that you are considering booking that you expect that from him (or in the case of punctuality that if something delays him that he communicate promptly so you know what is happening). If he turns up late, is drunk or high, unshaven and unpresentable, then don’t hesitate to cancel the booking then and there
  • Ask to meet him for a drink or a meal before you book. It’s reasonable to pay a modest fee for the experience (but certainly not his full rate). How he handles that encounter, even if it’s just half an hour with him will tell you a lot about him. Is he punctual? Professional? Considerate? Fun? A small social date will tell you most of what you need to know about the man you have chosen – and it becomes part of the build up to and excitement of the booking itself!
  • Don’t book a male sex worker through an agency. Book an independent worker. Agencies don’t care about you or their workers (even if they say they do). All they care about is getting your money. Agencies won’t let you talk directly to the worker you want to book and may not even send the man that you requested. You have a better chance of good outcome with an independent worker
  • Lastly, this is a big one: while it’s reasonable for a sex worker to ask for a modest (refundable or transferable) deposit – given all of the above I personally think that it is fair for you to expect to pay after the booking is complete – not before. From day one I have worked on this basis as I realise how much of an emotional and financial risk booking an unknown male sex worker is for a woman. I don’t require payment up front because if you are not happy afterwards then you may not feel able to ask for a refund. I would rather have our booking and at the end if you are satisfied then you can pay me the fee we agreed. Any male worker who won’t do this is a risk. If he doesn’t have a clear refund or “no charge” policy then expect that he won’t be offering a refund

What if it all goes wrong or it just doesn’t work? We all hope this never happens, but sometimes it just doesn’t work. It has happened a few times for me over the thirteen years (at time of writing) that I have been a male sex worker and my response is always the same: I apologise, don’t request payment (or give them a refund if they chose to pay ahead), and offer to leave after making sure that they are ok.

I met a young woman once who unbeknown to me had never had sex, made the booking at the suggestion of her psychologist, and was absolutely mentally and physically not ready to have sex. After some time of foreplay with her I realised that it just wasn’t working for her, so asked her if she wanted to stop. She said yes, so we stopped. I gave her back her money, and left after making sure that she was ok.

Bookings won’t always work out. But as a professional sex worker, it’s our responsibility to do the right thing for a vulnerable person who may not be able to make the right decisions for themselves or feel able to enforce their rights.

So what can you do when it doesn’t work out? Here are some suggestions:

  • If he turns up drunk, high, or unprepared, don’t invite him in, or leave if you are visiting him
  • If you’re in the booking and it’s not working then you should tell him to stop, and if you think it won’t get better then you have every right to end the booking and leave/ask him to leave. He must respect that and comply
  • Ask for an appropriate refund. Consumer protection laws in Australia apply to sex work so he or the agency that booked him is obligated to refund your money if you are not happy with the service
  • If they refuses to refund you, then in NSW and other states you are entitle to make a claim for compensation through NSW Department of Fair Trading here: under the buying Products and Services heading. You should let the worker know that you intend to make a claim before doing so as this may circumvent the need to
  • Above all, put your safety and well being first (physically and mentally)

This has become quite a long post and I hope that it is helpful to women considering booking a male escort in Sydney or anywhere else. If you have suggestions or ideas that you think that I should add to the lists above please feel free to post a comment below or email me: .

None of this is to say that you should book me and not another worker. I am well suited to some women, but not to others. What I want to do here is help women the right worker for them.

FInally – sex work should be safe and rewarding for workers and clients. We (workers and clients) shouldn’t tolerate men who behave unprofessionally. You have the right to a safe, fulfilling experience, or reasonable compensation if you don’t get it.


The rest of the world doesn’t understand sex work in Australia (and New Zealand)

Sex work in most of Australia is now decriminalised.  Current states and territories that have decriminalised sex work include: New South Wales, Victoria, Northern Territory, and the Australian Capital Territory. That covers the majority of the population of Australia.  Other states have some form of “legalised” sex work which is still better than nothing, but we are waiting for them to catch up.

This is good for both sex workers and our clients.  Sex workers can go to the police for protection if we need, clients also are protected by consumer protection law from sex workers who may behave unethically.  And most of all – because of this protection potential abusers no longer considered sex workers (or our clients) “easy targets” that no one will care about.

People from other countries generally have no understanding of what this means for sex work and sex workers.  Case in point, a video that I came across the other day.

This post looks to be ripped off the TikTok of the original creator – a female sex worker in Sydney, Australia called Jasmine (

What is relevant here is the comments on the Facebook repost.  They are for the most part judgemental, ignorant, moralistic (or some combination of the above), and show no awareness of decriminalisation of sex work and understanding of how it changes the industry.

Decriminalisation of sex work makes the work much, much safer for women – as sex workers and as clients. It is frustrating when I am contacted by women (especially from the US) who want to see a male sex worker but are unable to find a suitable man in their area. I would like to be able to refer them to someone known in the industry with a good reputation and plenty of online presence to allow potential clients to decide if they are suitable. But where sex work is criminalised workers have to hide themselves.

For most women who might choose to pay a sex worker this makes the entire transaction just too much of a risk. So they are locked out of the opportunity to explore their sexuality in that way.

It’s easy for us to take for granted what we have here in Australia. So I’m taking this moment to recognise the privilege that we have compared to our peers (workers and clients) around the world. We are incredibly lucky – but never forget that all of these advances can be taken away from us if we fail to defend our hard won rights from the ignorant masses who reflexively lash out at sex work whenever it is presented to them.


There is no “normal”, just what’s normal to you

People often ask me “what’s the weirdest thing you have ever been asked to do by a client”. The very vanilla answer to that question is “most women who come to me just want some good basic sex”.

But it does lead me to think about what “weird” really means.

My observation of people, sex, and sexuality over the last twelve years as a male escort for women (and couples) is that our sexuality – the things that “excite” us as opposed to our orientation, gender identity etc – exist on a spectrum and that what we like comes about in large part from what we are exposed to as we begin to explore sex.

In my teens I was exposed to heteronormative ideas and the images and practices that go with it – nuclear family, 80’s pop culture, Playboy and Penthouse magazines, the book The Joy of Sex (which I still think is a good read for heterosexual people), and very little else.

So that became my “normal”.  As I was discovering sex those things were imprinted in my psyche and remain there to this day underpinning what is arousing for me. A lot of people have very similar experiences as they become sexually aware and engaged – so we reflexively assume that because most people are like us that this is somehow “normal” – with the inference that interests elsewhere on the sexual spectrum are somehow “weird”, or worse – “abnormal”.

In reality though – as long as something is consensual and legal – declaring what is and isn’t “normal” is an arbitrary value judgement – not an objective truth. I may not be aroused by what another person is aroused by, but that says nothing about its value, or validity. It’s just my perception. The key that fits their sexual lock doesn’t fit mine and vice versa.

Some women who contact me are embarrassed to tell me what they find arousing, what works for them. So I think that it is important to say that – as long as what you want is consensual and legal – that I am always happy for someone to ask me for what they want. I’m open to most things – but even if I’m not comfortable with something, then I’m not going to judge you for asking. You are entitled to enjoy what you enjoy, and I will respect that. 

Want to call me “daddy”? Well ok then. Need to be spanked on the bottom? That’s fine. Like to go out for dinner with no underwear to spice things up? By all means. You aren’t going to shock me, and I will not judge you for what you want.

And neither should the rest of society!


“The Ravishment Option” and owning our sexuality

I was sent me a link a while back to this sex work themed comedy short film. It’s hilarious and sweet, and very entertaining. I want to talk about one scene near the start – so you have been warned, spoilers ahead, I suggest you watch it before reading on (it’s only 15 minutes long).

The story opens with a young woman Enid researching male sex workers and booking Ricky. When Ricky arrives he sweeps Enid up in his arms and kisses her deeply – much to her disgust! Ricky apologises and tells her he thought she selected “the ravishment option” when she booked (which she did not).

Now it’s a funny scene and well played in the film – but it also made me chuckle because this is literally a real thing – not a check box when you book, but I have had several clients will sometimes ask (in different words) for The Ravishment Option.

The vast majority of women who come to see me, whether it’s the first time or the 20th time like to have time to relax, chat, and connect before anything more intimate happens. That is totally understandable. Some women though, when they are in the mood want something different – and if they feel comfortable and secure with me then they may well ask to be “ravished” the moment they walk through the door.

I think that this is a good thing – not just individually, but more broadly. Many people don’t feel that they can ask for what they want. Worse I think that many people can’t even give themselves permission to want what they want.

Which is even worse and possibly harder to change. So lets talk about that.

I have come to the conclusion over my years working as a straight male escort for women that there is no such thing as “normal” and “abnormal” when it comes to a person’s sexuality. Just distributions of people who like similar things.

While I am sure that there are some traits, like being gay, or gender dysphoria that are rooted in biology, I think that much of our sexuality is created through our experiences. Like a man who, having the experience of being captured and sat on by some girls his age when he was going through puberty, to this day finds being sat on by a dominant woman to be a powerful turn on. I have come across many cases like this that while at the more distant ends of the sexual spectrum serve to illustrate how someone like me ended up with fairly “average” sexual inclinations. I never had unusual or extreme experiences of sex and sexuality when I was younger and so my tastes and preference now reflect that.

I like to compare sexuality to a book. When we first open our book there are certain things written in there – personally my book has always said “straight male”. But most things that come after that I can look back on my life and my experiences from early teens into my twenties and find correlations between what I experienced and what I now find interesting/arousing/motivating/distracting sexually.

It took me a long time though – until my early thirties to reconcile what I wanted and responded to instinctively and what I thought I should want. That gap was a source of unhappiness that I wasn’t really aware of. When I did finally “come out” to myself and start to accept and embrace my sexuality I found a kind of inner peace that I had never had before.

I didn’t have to hide what I wanted anymore. I didn’t have to pretend to be something I’m not. It was a revelation. And it was without doubt one of the things that lead me to sex work as a career, something that has changed and improved my life in many ways.

So what is the lesson? I think it is that we need to listen to ourselves. Hear what our bodies and minds are asking for, then find a way to give that to ourselves. If we can do that then we will be happier, healthier, and better-rounded people.


Towards a healthier view of our sexuality

Drawn in by the headline of this article “Bizarre sex challenge men need to stop” I clicked and I read…

Apparently there are men out there who abstain for ejaculation during the month of November. 

They claim (with no evidence the article says) that it has sex/health benefits. Which seems unlikely. After all we know that regular ejaculation is good for prostate health if nothing else (reducing lifetime risk of prostate cancer by 33% and that benefit is greater the older we get).

While the article is rather all-over-the-place it does make the point that fads/challenges/rules etc about sex are more likely to encourage unhealthy thinking about our bodies and sex than they are to improve our sexual function.

That seems like a reasonable statement to me.

We all have baggage from our lives, from growing up, to learning about sex, to relationships, to marriage, having children. It all effects us, shapes who we are, including sexually.

Abstaining from sex for one month each year isn’t going to solve anyone’s problems or give them god-like powers in bed.

What will help though is looking inside ourselves and listening to the voice that tells you what you really want in your sex life. it took me personally fifteen years from puberty to really accept my sexuality and embrace it (then another ten to become a straight male escort for women, but that’s another story).

That voice may be telling you that all you want is some basic sex every now and then, or it might be saying that you want wild sex with multiple partners every weekend – and it doesn’t matter where you are on that spectrum, it’s all valid. What matters is that you listen to it and accept where your sexuality is at right now (because its going to change throughout our lives).

This doesn’t mean you have to act of those feelings – but the act of accepting that our sexuality is a certain way, rather than denying it can be a powerful thing. There’s a release to be had from not constantly denying ones nature – even if you never indulge that nature.

And I think that is probably the right message to be taking away from all of this