The Petra Joy – Joy Awards … first prize!

Back in April a client asked me if I would help her to make a short erotic film about her experience of hiring me.  Our date was one step in moving forward in her life and getting over a bad marriage.  The film was to be entered in the Petra Joy – Joy Award, a short film contest for first time female directors of erotica.

The journey through script writing, storyboarding, filming, post production editing, sound recording, score production, and then rendering of the finished movie was an amazing experience.  Not something that I have ever done at such a serious level.

The result was a short film (3 minutes 40 second long) that was unanimously voted to be the best submitted to the award this year.  Interestingly the second prize went to a woman in Melbourne!  So Australia was well represented in the Joy Awards this year.

John.

101 Vaginas – a pictorial project to change perceptions

I came across an interesting project today on the Pozible crowd source funding website.

About the project: What is 101 Vagina?

Please see the main project website here: http://101vagina.com

“101 Vagina is about breaking down the taboos and shame around our bodies in general and vaginas in particular, to celebrate diversity and generate dialogue.

It will be a coffee table photo book with 101 black & white photos and an accompanying message from or about the woman’s vagina.”

—-

Ok, firstly, I am not going to take them to task (too much) about the name.  Really, it should be 101 Vulvas, since thats what they are talking about.  It seems to be a very common misconception.  A woman’s external genitals is called her vulva.  The vagina is all internal.

While I am all for breaking taboos and setting people straight on what a “normal” pussy can look like, I am also big on getting the terminology right!

Still, this strikes me as a good project.  Something to strike a blow against the airbrushed anonymity of how pussies have been made to look thanks to John Howard and his ilk passing laws preventing a woman’s inner labia being shown in R18+ rated material sold in this country.

This kind political and moralistic insanity has resulted in countless women undergoing unnecessary surgery to have the size of their inner labia reduced because they have been made to feel insecure about the way that their pussy looks.

I have written about this issue before here, but I love the idea of this book and now that I have a coffee table (!) I most definitely want to have this book on it.

I have pledged $100 to the production of the book, so fingers crossed that it hits its target!

John

What is 101 Vagina?

Please see the main project website here: http://101vagina.com

101 Vagina is about breaking down the taboos and shame around our bodies in general and vaginas in particular, to celebrate diversity and generate dialogue.

It will be a coffee table photo book with 101 black & white photos and an accompanying message from or about the woman’s vagina.

Fifty Shades …

Ok, it’s time to talk about Fifty Shades of Grey.

Note: this post talks about BDSM and actual experiences of this fantasy.
If you are not comfortable reading about these concepts then please don’t continue reading this post.

I have stayed away from this topic since Fifty Shades exploded into popular culture because I haven’t been clear in my head about how I feel about the books and their portrayal of BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism). Last night though I had a conversation with a friend that set it all in perspective for me.

As with any work of fiction there will be people who love Fifty shades, people who hate it, and people who just don’t care much.

What has become clear to me though is that regardless of Fifty Shades merit (be that literary quality, BDSM accuracy, psychological etc) it has tapped into something profound in the psychology of many women.  A book doesn’t need to be great, or even good to inspire people, get them thinking, and open new doors for them.  Lets face it, no-one is actually going to live out the story of Fifty Shades in real life (if for no other reason than young self-made billionaires are hard to come by and are pretty hotly contested property).

But this is the point.  Fifty Shades, like all erotica, is about fantasy and what it inspires in you, not about slavish re-creation.

Continue reading

Feminist porn

We just had a presentation from Tristan Taormino at Xplore about feminist porn.

She is a good presenter and makes an interesting topic even more fun.

Short story is that as a genera feminist porn (however you define it) it is growing at a huge rate. Lots of interesting new directors and content out there.

If you are interested to see more from Tristan Taormino have a look at her website:

http://www.puckerup.com

John.

Xplore Festival Sydney

Today I am attending the second day of the Xplore Festival. Its been a lot of fun so far, but I was dissapointed to miss the first day.

So far today I have done a workshop on Dirty Talk. Very entertaining, and gave me lots to think about.

The second session was on Domination and Submission and Tantra. I dont get into spirituality, but the breathing and connecting with another person was good.

John.

Ten Minutes To Orgasm movie – Update

I have just had a quick look at the download statistics for my movie Ten Minute To Orgasm.  What can I say but OH WOW.

In the seven days since I posted the video it has been downloaded over 100,000 times.

That is simply stupendous,  I am lost for words …

My website traffic has gone up by more than an order of magnitude.  Lucky the server can handle it.

I think that I will just say “thank you” and leave it at that.

John.

Movie – Ten minutes to orgasm …

If you follow my blog then you may have seen that a Melbourne based director and producer of porn for women (Ms Naugthy) recently invited me to participate in a movie that she was shooting.  I made a post about the offer and had quite a lot of discussion with my readers and clients.

The consensus was that I should not participate, but there was also strong support for me doing something that I had full control over and could post on my site.  The result is that I recently filmed a short (10 minute) movie.

 

An image from my movie – Ten minutes to orgasm

You also download the movie. Right click this link and choose “Save link as”: Movie – Ten minutes to orgasm

I wanted to make something that was relevant to me and the service that I offer, so filming an erotic massage seemed like the ideal starting point.  As we worked on it we both realised that stopping at just the massage would be leaving the other half of the story untold.  So we continued filming as I gave Shelly (who was by now very aroused) oral sex until she reached orgasm.  I think that the result is quite beautiful and also quite arousing.

This movie was an experiment to see what was possible with two people and digital video camera. As a result most of the shots are stationary, made using the camera on a tripod.  It is surprising I think what you can achieve with such a simple setup.  It certainly exceeded my expectations.

We had the use of a rather nice serviced apartment in the CBD for the day and the diffuse light streaming in through the curtains made for some beautiful contrasts and play of light and shadow over soft curves.

It amazes me just how easy it is, with all of the tools that we have available to us, to make really good quality movies that can be shared so easily over the Internet.  I hope you like the result and look forward to your comments.

I intend to make more movies in the future and would like to show real women having real enjoyment (like Shelly did in this movie).  If you would like to work with me (whether anonymously, or openly) feel free to let me know.

 John.

Xplore Sydney – the festival of the art of lust

While browsing the web last week I came across the website of the Xplore Sydney Festival.

http://sydney.xplore-festival.com

From the home page of the Xplore site …

Xplore is a three-day event on creative sexuality, BDSM, tantra, ritual and other body practices. Delve into new found pleasures by joining us.

Xplore has its origin in Berlin in 2004. For the first time Xplore will take place in another city: the city of Sydney.”

A lot of people ask me what is the strangest request I have ever had working as a male escort.  Surprisingly the answer is not very strange.  Most people just want good basic sex.

If however you are interested in trying something different (and I have found that a growing number of women are!), indulging a fantasy, stepping outside of your comfort zone and exploring your sexuality further, then I can definitely help.  I have experience in bondage and discipline, role-playing and more.

However, it’s always good to broaden one’s knowledge.  So Xplore Sydney looks like a good opportunity to spend time with people more experienced than I am in a wide range of sexual modes.  Some of the workshops that caught my eye include:

  • BDSM & the Conscious Body
  • Creating a BDSM scene
  • Dressing for Pleasure
  • Electrosex
  • Ethical Sluthood: foundations of nontraditional lifestyles
  • Intellectual Bondage
  • Naked Yoga
  • Playfight
  • Resistance Play
  • Rituals of Intimacy
  • Sensual Dominance and Submission
  • Sluthood Intensive: a place to brainstorm your most challenging poly issues
  • Switching
  • The Dancing Whip: Flogging in Movement
  • The Novice Orgy

There’s a full list on the Xplore website.

Now a lot of this stuff will not be to everyone’s taste, but that’s really the point.  As a male escort for women, I see my job as being the person you can come to when you are ready to explore something new. As such Xplore Sydney provides an opportunity to step outside some boundaries in a safe and comfortable environment.

The organisers tell me that they will be releasing full details of the festival by the end of the year, so I will be checking back in due course to find out about cost and availability.

If you would be interested in attending Xplore Sydney with me (free of charge), please let me know. It would be good to be able to go along with someone and have another viewpoint on the workshop.

It looks like they are also going to have a very interesting after party!

John

Sex in relationships

If you keep an eye on sexuality related trivia like I do, then you may have noticed a few months ago that a French woman successfully sued her husband (and was awarded AUD$13,500 in damages) because he failed to fulfill his duty as a husband to provide sex to his wife during their marriage.

http://www.smh.com.au/world/strangebuttrue/husband-ordered-to-pay-wife-for-lack-of-sex-20111130-1o5oj.html

The husband appealed the decision and lost.  The ruling and the damages stand.

When I first read about this I was amazed.  This sort of situation is very familar to me (as is the reverse).  But the French legal system has potentially just set a precident that has absolutely huge implications, at least in their own country.

The first thing that comes to mind is: this opens the flood gates for men, unsatisfied with their sex lives to sue their wives for damages.  The second is: what about our right as individuals to say “no”?

The more you pick at this issue the more complex it gets, and I expect that in the short term at least, only the lawyers are going to win from it.

What I do see though is that this ruling (in France at least) puts a spotlight on our relationships and how we treat each other sexually.  I recently made a post offering a Master Class in giving great oral sex to women and I think that this court case confirms my thinking.  Guys: we need to put a lot more effort into pleasing our partners (and being able to give great oral sex is a much appreciated skill).  And it’s not hard to do.  Yes it takes effort and a little thought, but honestly it’s not that hard.

What you need is:

  1. To understand you partner and your own sexuality (what you each like, what you don’t like, what turns you on, what satisfies you)
  2. A few specific skills (how to give oral sex, how give your partner an orgasm, what she likes when it comes time to have penetrative sex)
  3. A plan that delivers what each of you need and want

I have had occassion to discuss these issues with women and couples and often it is relatively easy to find ways to help overcome the hurdles.  A little bit of understanding, a little bit of effort and flexibility can transform the situation.

I am not a sex therapist, or medial professional, but I do have a lot of real world experience, that I am able to share.  I also have the big advantage as a sex worker over a health professional that I am ethically able to demonstrate and directly teach men and women the physical techniques that I use and know.

So, here’s an open invitation to men, women, and couples.  Do you want to improve your sex life?  If you do, then contact me; post a comment below, send me an email, or give me a call and we can talk about what might work for you.  If you don’t think that your partner would want to be involved, don’t worry, we can still talk and find solutions that you can implement on your own.

Lets keep the courts out of our bedrooms and start having better sex!

John.

Sexpo – 1

I only made a short visit in to Sexpo on Saturday as the day was compressed by a delayed flight from Sydney and having a big evening planned, so I went back again on Sunday.

If you have never been to Sexpo, here’s a short run down …

Mostly Sexpo is a chance for anyone who does “stuff” in the “adult industry” to show off to the public over four days.  On top of that, there is an ongoing stage show of adult oriented acts (like the Tokio Shock Boys, male and female strippers, audience participation and more) and curiously this time they had a motorcycle stunt show … not quite sure how that fits, but I guess that it appeals to the main audience demographic!  Granted they did some pretty impressive stuff, but it’s not exactly about sex.

Some of the stands on display included:

  • More sex toy vendors than you could poke a (erm …) stick at, ranging in quality from the really cheap to the really expensive.  There were a lot of good deals on offer though, so it makes for a fun way to buy a vibrator as just about everything on the market was there and available at prices as good as you would get online (or better sometimes)
  • Show bags – $60 for a bag full of goodies for wome, or men, or couples.  They contained things like vibrators, lube, ligerie, male masturbators (of which there are now lots more on the market), various sex toys, and more
  • Fetish wear – from the mild (riding crops and suspenders) to the serious (body restrains, ball gags, nipple clamps), to the seriously bizar (gimp costumes, speculums, and more).  Interestingly, the people who run these businesses are often the easiest to talk to, very open minded, and lots of fun
  • Lingerie – definitely sexy
  • Personal grooming – I saw hair crimping tools and intimate shavers
  • Photography – glamour and intimate, there were at least four different businesses with stands there
  • ClubX – one of the largest chains of adult stores had a very big stand with a large range of products from their catalogue.  ClubX has gone a long way up-market from their early days and put together a very nice stand with lots of staff and lots of interesting products
  • Charities – there were a couple of organisations there drumming up support for their adult related causes, which was good to see
  • Pole dancing equipment – just one stand, but they can set up with everything you need!

I am sure to have missed out on some stuff, but that gives you a good overview. One thing that seemed quite abscent though were retailers of DVDs.  I may have just overlooked them, but I don’t think so.  I expect that the Internet is busy destroying the DVD delivery business model, so perhaps that is the reason.

Both Saturday and Sunday when I visited were absolutely packed.  Heaps of people, in equal numbers for male and female.  Average age was probably around thirty.

I will wrap this post up now.  I have a bunch of toys and products to review and give away, so I will get on with that next and give you more details and photos!

John.