The price of virginity? Too high …

UPDATE: the auction has now finished and it looks like a woman had the highest bid.  Thankfully! (of $3000).

Thank you to everyone who volunteered to contribute, I really appreciate the compassion and generosity that you showed.

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I came across an article today in the Fairfax Daily Life website:

http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/dl-opinion/how-much-is-a-mans-virginity-worth-20121009-27arz.html

Initially I thought “oh yes, just another virginity for sale story”.  I thought it was going to be about a guy auctioning his virginity as we read about women doing occasionally.  In principle I don’t have a problem with this sort of thing.  We live in a world where everything is driven by money, so if a person is mature enough and self directed to auction their virginity then it’s a genuine way to get ahead, pay for your education, put down a deposit for a house etc.  It makes sense and if you are an adult then no-one can stop you, even if I might advise against it personally.

What was described in this article though is utterly wrong.

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Why is it so wrong to “once have been a prostitute”?

Bettina Wolff (wife of former German president Christian Wolff) is waging war on Google to try to dissociate herself from a rumor that she was once a prostitute.

You can read about it here:

http://www.smh.com.au/technology/technology-news/bettina-wulff-prostitute-autocomplete-puts-google-in-hot-water-20120919-265i4.html Continue reading

Fifty Shades of Grey – Part 2

This is just a quick post to provide a link to an article in the UK Guardian in response to Fifty Shades of Grey by a woman who has recently published a book on the subject of her BDSM lifestyle.

I think that it makes for good reading and provides some balance to the view of BDSM created by Fifty Shades of Grey.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2012/aug/25/fifty-shades-submissive-sophie-morgan

John.

A delightful story about virginity

I haven’t written anything about virginity for quite a while, so I thought that I would post a link to an article that I stumbled across today:

http://www.mamamia.com.au/relationships/i-lost-my-virginity-to-a-male-escort/

“Uninterested in a drunken encounter with some stranger from a pub, I decided to use an escort agency. I didn’t want to have to explain the situation. I was shy and embarrassed that I hadn’t had sex at 22. As silly as it sounds, I felt I needed to have sex to grow up, to let go of this unknown yearning inside me that I thought about day in, day out.”

From my years as an escort, I think that this woman’s experience is quite typical.  The nervousness, the yearning, and most of all the desire for something mature and rational, not just driven by emotion, or getting drunk and grabbing the first available guy.

I think that this article is, on the whole a really good example of what the experience of a date with a male escort is like.

John.

A male contaceptive pill …

The Sydney Morning Herald has an article that caught my eye online today:

http://www.smh.com.au/technology/sci-tech/of-mice-and-men-male-pill-gets-closer-20120816-24biz.html

At first glance I thought “wow, that’s great”.  But on reflection I am not so sure that the statement in the article:

hormone-free contraceptive drugs for men have been elusive, contributing to high rates of unplanned pregnancies across the world, especially among teenagers.

is accurate or useful.  It implies that if a male contraceptive drug is available then the rates of unwanted pregnancies across the world would drop significantly (especially among teenagers).

Why?  Well, there exists now in the world a form of male contraception that is very cheap, very reliable, widely available, can be used at a moments notice, can be stored for long periods, requires no prescription, is immediately reversible and also protects against the majority of STIs.

It’s called a condom.  And if used consistently and with just a little bit of care, then it is very, very effective.  I know this from personal experience.

So, condoms are easy to use, readily available etc etc.  And yet women have unplanned pregnancies.  How is a male pill, that will require (I assume, since it’s not stated in the article), regular doses, a trip to the doctor for prescriptions, and (lets not forget) honesty of the part of the male going to increase the likelihood of effective contraception?

Frankly I can’t see how.  My guess is that the results will be quite the opposite.  I can hear the refrain now … “don’t worry darling, I’m on the pill, it will be fine”.

I would expect an increase in unplanned pregnancies, as well as a rise in the incidence of STIs.

Lets face it, there is very little incentive for men to care about contraception outside of a stable relationship.  This news makes me think that the money spent on the research would be better spent on education.

John.

Fresh tomatoes

It’s late in the season for tomatoes, but my plants are still producing.  I was making a big batch of curry for dinner today, so I picked almost 1.5kgs of lovely red tomatoes to add to the dish.

They were so colourful that I had to take a photo and I thought that I would share it with you!

John.

 

Xplore Festival Sydney

Today I am attending the second day of the Xplore Festival. Its been a lot of fun so far, but I was dissapointed to miss the first day.

So far today I have done a workshop on Dirty Talk. Very entertaining, and gave me lots to think about.

The second session was on Domination and Submission and Tantra. I dont get into spirituality, but the breathing and connecting with another person was good.

John.

More women opt for genital plastic surgury

Stories come up in the media from time to time about women having genital (cosmetic) plastic surgery and I am always left feeling really sad by them.  Take this example from the Sydney Morning Herald:

http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/wellbeing/more-women-opt-for-genital-plastic-surgery-20101107-17j1f.html

The second paragraph was what really surprised me:

The biggest increase in vaginoplasty and labioplasty has been among teenagers and those in their early 20s.

Teenage women (girls as young as 15 the article goes on to say) having labioplasty? (A procedure where a portion of the inner labia are cut off to make them protrude less).  What on earth is going on?

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Sex is not a weapon – or – make love not war on women …

I have (thanks to parents who taught me about right and wrong, and equality) always seen and treated women as my equals.  Not as better, not as inferior.  We are all human, different in some ways (defined by our DNA and body chemistry), but always deserving of respect and fair treatment.

So it’s sad to me to come across articles like this one “Why Women Still Can’t Enjoy Sex” from Fairfax’s Daily Life:

http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/dl-opinion/why-women-still-cant-enjoy-sex-20120321-1vjgg.html

The article itself makes good points about how both men and women shame women for wanting / having / enjoying sex (and lets not even start on being a sex worker).  Which all reminds me of my recent blog post about a new book by Jacqueline Hellyer on having better sex.

The world conspires against women (and men too) having good sex.  It’s insidious and it’s really detrimental to our relationship and to our happiness.

The answer is to allow sex and sexuality to be a part of our lives (whether you want it personally or not), not to relegate it to the back room, or use it as a stick to beat others with.  Lets talk about sex, have sex, and live sexual lives, rather than give in to the people who fear and hate sex and all of the joy that it can bring to our lives.

John.

What good sex does for us

To be a happy healthy person you need balance in your life.  Good food in moderation, exercise, companionship, challenges, and yes sex.

Our society is very good at telling us that we need to exercise more, eat better etc.  But sadly there is no-one talking about the role that sexuality can play in improving out lives.  It’s treated by most people as something that happens to some people and (if they are lucky) it’s good.

I have come to realise though that regular sex and sexual play can drastically alter a person’s personality and life in a positive way!  We have all seen it, or experienced it ourselves at one time or another, a workmate or friend turning up with that rosy cheeked look and a smile that just screams “I’ve been having really good sex”.  We treat that though as just a passing thing.  It’s a new relationship, or some life change means that you are having more sex with your partner.  And for a while the world is a rosy place and you are chilled out and happy.  But then the gloss wears off, things get dull, and sex goes back to being ho-hum, or absent.

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