I was having a conversation with a client I have known for a few years now and she made the following comment:

“Your communication has always been what sets you apart from others in your industry.” K. Melbourne

Since day one – all those years ago in 2010 – when I started working as a male escort for women, being a prompt communicator has been a priority. I try my best to reply to all emails, texts, and calls immediately – because when someone makes the effort to contact me I believe that I should respect that not insignificant investment of emotional energy and risk.

But communication – pre and post booking – is about more than just being responsive. Pre-booking it’s part of building the anticipation of what’s to come!

For new clients our pre-booking chat will include talking about your boundaries, worries, needs, and history (if you want to share that with me and think that it will help for me to know). Also we can talk about any requests that you might have. Do you like particular erotic experiences? Are there areas of your body that are especially sensitive and responsive? Are there areas where you don’t like to be touched?

After we have the basics covered then we can talk a little more intimately if you want to. Perhaps plan out a scenario, or discuss in more detail what you want to do with me – flirt and have some fun! This is where the anticipation comes in. It’s one thing to book a date and be comfortable with me, but it can make the whole experience more powerful and fun if we can talk and plan together and build up the excitement about what is to come.

Studies have shown that anticipation of something fun can lift your mood and it can also lower your stress levels – a benefit not to be underestimated in this day and age.

So don’t be shy – conversations with me are always completely private and I will never share them with anyone. let’s plan a date and have some fun building up the anticipation!


More about sex work and financial discrimination

I made a post last week about Melbourne Sex worker Matthew Roberts and his historic win in the Victorian courts to get access to EFTPOS services for his sex work business. I received an email today from Matthew promoting his ongoing efforts to have federal laws that are used against sex workers changed and I want to share it with you.

While this fight is mostly about giving sex workers fair access to financial services it is also about us being able to provide you our customers with a greater range of payment options. So it would be great if you could follow Matthew on X/Twitter: @sexworkervbanks or subscribe to his mailing list – email “YES” to

Hi there, 

I’m reaching out to you as you’re interested in sex workers’ rights and efforts to combat financial discrimination. Financial discrimination is a huge problem for Australia’s sex industry, and as Australia moves away from cash, this problem is only getting worse.  

New laws protect sex workers from discrimination. It’s time to enforce these laws. 

My name is Matthew and I’m a self-employed gay male sex worker. When two financial service providers denied me use of EFTPOS machine services, I took the matter to the Magistrates’ Court of Victoria. In a landmark anti-discrimination law case, I settled the case on my terms and forced both companies (Mint Payments and First Data Merchant Solutions) to end their blanket sex worker ban. 

In 2022 Victoria, Australia decriminalised sex work and protected sex workers with anti-discrimination laws based on ‘occupation’.  My case is a huge win for sex workers and proof that enforcing these new laws can result in real change. 

But more needs to be done. The two companies initially tried to use a legal loophole to justify discriminating against me. A section of Federal anti-money laundering laws is routinely being used by financial companies to discriminate against entire groups of customers, including law abiding customers like me. The Federal Government needs to amend these federal laws to stop financial service providers from getting away with unlawful discrimination. 

Want to be kept in the loop as I extend my fight against financial discrimination and form a new advocacy movement? Reply ‘Yes’ to this email to be added to my email list.

Maurice Blackburn lawyers represented me in court. You can find me on X at @sexworkervbanks

Press Release: Melbourne sex worker resolves “debanking” discrimination case over denied EFTPOS machine

ABC News: Sex worker takes on financial sector ‘debanking’, with outcome hailed as transformative for adult industry

ABC TV’s The Business: Why sex workers are facing discrimination from banks and financial providers Melbourne sex worker wins ‘debanking’ case against two Australian financial institutions

The Age: Sex stays the same, but sex work changes [behind a paywall]

Q News: Fed-up Melbourne sex worker sues financial providers and wins

Banking Daily: Illigit to debank s*x workers

Lawyers Weekly: Sex worker wins ‘decade-long battle’ against debanking discrimination

Yours sincerely 
Matthew Roberts 

Media enquiries: Chee Chee Leung at Maurice Blackburn Lawyers 0412 560 584

Thank you for your support of our industry. We really appreciate it! And thank you to Matthew for taking on this fight for all of us sex workers and clients alike.


One woman’s experience

My recent post about social anxiety and isolation and how a sex worker might be able to help you is, at the end of the day, a bit “theoretical”.  Yes I say things about how I can help, but can I really?  So I asked a client I’ve known for several years now what her (entirely virtual) experience with me has been like as someone with social anxiety. This is her response.

“I’ve lived with severe social anxiety disorder since age twelve, so I don’t often talk to people socially, especially men. I had no idea how to flirt let alone go on dates, and sex seemed impossible when my only reaction to a (very rare) man’s interest was ‘oh god, please stop talking. I’m so uncomfortable. Please go away.’

Enter John Oh. I contacted John during the start of the pandemic when pretty much every country was locked down. But I live in the U.S., so why was I emailing an escort from Australia when travel was absolutely out of the question? I started reading John’s blog after I learned about him in Hallie Lieberman’s BuzzFeed article about straight male sex workers for women, and I felt like he could handle my ‘situation.’

Reading his blog, I discovered that older virgins like myself are not the freakish anomaly society makes us out to be, and we have a variety of reasons for our circumstances. This made me feel less alone and even a little hopeful, so I decided to see if I could handle just talking to John.

And that’s what it really came down to: could I talk to a man–about myself, my life, my wants and desires–like a regular human being without being crushed and ultimately silenced by anxiety? This is what we worked on starting with email and casual topics like my love of cats or the novels of Terry Prattchet, things you might talk about on a first date or chatting with a new friend. We started with email and moved on to exchanging texts and pictures a few times a week, the regularity of which gave me something to look forward to and made my feel more relaxed and open with the things I was willing and able to discuss.

But video chat was a whole other level. The element of virtual face-to-face meeting and the fact that I actually had to speak filled me with dread. How would I avoid looking ridiculous or saying something wrong when communicating in real time?! I forced myself to do it. There’s something about John’s smile that’s disarming. As soon as I saw his smiling face looking at me across time zones and the camera, my heart rate slowed. I remembered ‘this is someone you’ve talked to before, someone you talk to often. He knows you’re awkward; it will be okay’ And it, of course, was okay.

It was the unfamiliar that felt familiar. Yes there were silences in the conversation. They felt uncomfortable, and I survived. We had more video chats, and I learned that silences do not have to be filled with my panic. I learned through listening to John and observing his patience how one can have slower, more thoughtful conversations with a person–that a topic does not desperately have to be grasped from thin air lest we ‘have nothing to talk about.’ With practice, I learned how to have an authentic conversation, discuss, listen, and not get distracted by the voices in my head shrieking that I’ll say or do something stupid.

Now, it wasn’t lost on me during this time that I was paying John to talk to me and, in a sense, make me feel good. But that line of argument didn’t ruin or invalidate anything for me. I was getting comfortable and confident talking to a man about myself and therein getting confident in myself. It didn’t matter whether or not John was blowing smoke up my ass because it was changing the way I felt about being myself when talking with another human being.”

So if you have social anxiety and/or feel isolated in your life – physically or mentally – then you are welcome to reach out to me.


Available for you in Canberra

If you live in or near Canberra and have been contemplating making a booking with me, but just can’t make the time to get up to Sydney, then I have a solution for you!

Every second week or so I will be available in Canberra in the evening, week days and weekends. So if you would like to see me just drop me a line and we can work out a time and a place – 0437 520 539 or


Social anxiety and isolation and what a male sex worker can do for you

In these post covid days social anxiety and isolation are on the rise. Perhaps we work from home – which can be a good thing – but that comes with more isolation. Cost of living increases make it harder to afford to go out regularly like we might have done in the past.

This can make life extra difficult when you are already dealing with social anxiety but want to meet a partner. Isolation can create a downward spiral that just makes it harder and harder to effect change and get what you want.

So here is my offer to you if you have social anxiety or are feeling isolated and lacking confidence to make connections with men:

For a modest fee I can talk with you – by text, email, phone, or video chat. You can be anywhere in the world. We can work out a program that works for you and allows you to build your skills and confidence.

I can give you an experience with zero risk and I’d hope, some fun too.


Astroglide water based lube

After my recent posts about lube one of my clients very generously brought a tube of Astroglide water based lube for us to try.

While it has a good texture and is very slippery Astroglide has one major failing that makes it a “would not recommend” for me – as it dries out it gets sticky! That has to be my least favourite type of lube.

I don’t know why so many water based lubricants do this, but it’s not a trait I enjoy. So the “Yes WB” is still top of my list!


Sex work and financial discrimination

As a sex worker (for women) I tend to receive payment either in cash or by electronic transfer. For some of my clients, cash is ideal because they don’t want to leave an electronic trail of their activities – and given the stigma still attached to sex work, especially for women as clients, that’s no surprise to me.

It’s not necessarily true for other areas of sex work thought, like male for male and female for male services where clients may be more likely to appreciate the convenience of an EFTPOS payment with a card.

That however is a very difficult service to get and to keep for any sex worker. So it is with great pleasure that a Melbourne based sex worker has just won a major anti-discrimination case in Victoria under their anti-discrimination laws that protect sex workers.

You can read about it here:

In short Matthew’s EFTPOS terminal provider disabled his service because the company sees sex work as a “risk” for money laundering – well that’s their claim at least. Usually these things are more about the company just not wanting to provide services to sex workers on “moral” grounds or because of reputational risk (meaning discrimination).

Matthew engaged a law firm and won the right to receive services under Victoria’s relatively new anti-discrimination laws – which incidentally he was instrumental in the creation of!

It is fabulous to see this outcome. While I don’t intend to provide EFTPOS services in the foreseeable future (and New South Wales does not currently have anti-discrimination protection for sex workers, so I’d probably still be out of luck if I did want to) it is still a win for the industry, and a step forward for all sex workers.

Who knows, after this victory sex workers may even be able to get home loans like everyone else! Now that would be progress.


A safe man

I was talking to a client recently and she made the comment that one of my best qualities is that I make her feel safe – and as a precursor to intimacy that feeling safe is, for most women, absolutely necessary.

“Being safe” for my clients has always been a priority since I first started working as a male escort for women back in 2010.

It’s why I offer to meet for coffee or a drink in a public place if you are considering making a booking but want to be sure about me before you book.

It’s why I tell anyone who is at all worried that when they see me, they are in charge, and that at any time they can decide to end the booking and leave (and I won’t expect to be paid).

It’s why I don’t take payment for a booking until the end of our session, so you don’t feel any pressure to continue because you have already paid.

It’s why when I see women who are trying to build or rebuild trust in their bodies and with men as intimate partners, we have talked and worked out rules for everything from simply touching to having sex that put them completely in control. And we have then practiced them taking control, telling me to stop what I’m doing, to start again, or do something different so that they can see that I will do exactly what they ask me to.

It’s also why I won’t ever write a “tell all” autobiography – because regardless of how I might obscure my client’s identities, I know that people would see themselves in anything that I write and I never want to make anyone feel that I have exploited them and their booking with me for profit beyond what they paid me for directly.

I take my responsibility to your safety very seriously and I hope that makes the decision to contact me just a little bit easier.


Friday 24/5/2024 – One night only!

Well, Jas Strong and I were booked together tonight, but our client has just cancelled due to illness.

So – we are both free and available to you in Sydney tonight. If you have ever wanted to experience two men concentrated entirely on your pleasure then here’s your chance!

Come to us in Olympic Park, or we can come to you.

Drop me a line and we will make your fantasy reality.

Ph: 0437 520 539 or


“Yes Water Based” brand lube – an update

So the new lube I decided to try while looking for something to replace the Sylk lube that I have used for the last twelve years turned up very promptly – thank you I appreciate the rapid service.

If you haven’t seen my previous post here’s a summary: the company that manufactures Sylk lubricant in New Zeeland has lost its way since it was bought out be a foreign company, culminating in three batches of Sylk being recalled last year. They seem to no longer be manufacturing any significant quantity of their product now and it is effectively impossible to buy.

So I looked around for a replacement and found Yes Water Based lube. People seem to think that it is the closest thing to Sylk available.

I bought a tube (first difference, it comes in a tube, not a rigid bottle, which isn’t really a big deal) and have tried it out and I’m here to report the results!

So Yes Water Based lube is quite similar to Sylk at first glance. Similar colour. Similar texture. However while Sylk is a loose gel, Yes is definitely a liquid. If you turn the tube upside down Yes will drip out. If you turn a bottle of Sylk upside down the lube will stay put until you squeeze. You need to keep this in mind as it’s easy to lose a lot of Yes if you’re not careful!

How does it feel? Between your fingers Yes feels pretty similar to Sylk. It last well and seems to wet up again ok, but not as well as Sylk perhaps.

Now from my point of view – wearing a condom – it is very hard to notice any real difference in the texture and feel of Yes to Sylk. However it doesn’t seem to last quite as long. And I have also noticed that when it finally dries out Yes does tend to feel a little bit “sticky” which is disappointing!

I have also tried it for masturbation and I think that while it is thinner than Sylk, it doesn’t feel quite as slippery and requires more applications more frequently.

At the end of the day Yes seems to be a reasonable alternative to Sylk. It will do the job and isn’t much more expensive – but I really hope that one day Sylk get their act together and I can go back to the old faithful…