It’s always ok to end a session early – I won’t be upset or embarrassed

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I recently met a woman for an overnight booking (and with her permission) I’m sharing a story from our session together.  Now she had traveled a long way to see me – to have sex for the first time, so it was quite a big deal for her. 

She chose to book me overnight, which I encourage for women having sex for the first time as it gives them the opportunity to experience sex several times and reach a point with it where they are comfortable, can get past their nerves, and start to experience the pleasure that sex can provide.

Our session went well and she got to experience intimate touch, had her first orgasm assisted by someone else, and then experienced penetrative sex in a number of positions for the first time.

We took a break and chatted about the experience and issues around dating and sex.

Now I was booked to stay with her overnight, but at that point she decided that she had experienced enough and didn’t need me to stay.  So we ended the booking early.  She paid me for the time we had been together and I went on my way.

The reason that I am writing about this is that she was worried about how I would feel about her ending our booking early and that I might be upset.

So I want to be very clear for anyone who is contemplating a booking with me – you can always end a booking at any time and I will not be upset.  If you are not happy with my service, or it’s not working for you, or you have had enough, or any other reason then you can tell me and we can end it there.

It is really important to me that anyone who sees me understands that and doesn’t feel that because they have requested a longer booking that I have to stay for that long.  It’s your session and you can end it any time you want to without upsetting or disappointing me – and I will always adjust my fee appropriately.

John

Know thy self – erogenous zones

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From time to time people send me links to articles about sexuality – which I’m always happy to receive! I was sent this one overnight and I thought it was worth sharing:

https://www.glamour.com/story/hottest-erogenous-zones-women

I doubt that most people will be surprised by most of these erogenous zones – but I think that it’s always good to be reminded that they exist and to be mindful of them the next time that we are with a partner.

That’s especially true with someone that we have been with for some time. It’s very easy to fall into a rhythm with sex – we know what our partner likes, they know what we like, we give that to each other and that’s it. Which is fine as far as it goes, but it does leave a lot “on the table” so to speak.

Yes we know what our partner likes and doesn’t like. But there is a gap between those two extremes that creates an opportunity to explore and learn and perhaps discover new experiences and new pleasures together.

I have many, many years of experience, but I’m not too proud to admit that I can still learn more.

John

Weight loss update

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About five weeks ago I made the decision that I needed to lose some weight. This is the first time in my life that I have felt the need to deliberately “diet”.  I have always had a fairly high metabolism, so reversing weight gain has only ever really required some more exercise and eating less.  That’s not the case any more, so I set about finding the “right way” to lose weight for me.

My starting point has been that I know that anything with carbohydrates in it (things like bread, rice, potatoes, fruit, milk – many of the most delicious things!) are dynamite for me and key to my recent weight gain.  So cutting out those things was the logical starting point.

What I put together in the end was a diet that is based on “ketogenic” principals – eliminating carbohydrates, eating moderate amounts of protein, and eating various fats for energy (avocado, olive oil, butter, cream, eggs, cheese, and fat that comes with meat).

I have combined that with intermittent fasting, initially having two meals a day, at 1.00pm and 5.00pm to give me a twenty hour fast which people who recommend fasting say is the minimum time required to get a benefit from fasting.

After a week I discovered that I really didn’t need the second meal, so I cut it down to just a snack.  I now eat one meal a day – and because of the fasting my stomach has shrunk somewhat and the one meal I do eat is smaller than when I started this process.

On the advice of the people who promote keto style diets I have been drinking extra water, supplementing electrolytes, vitamins, and magnesium.  

And it’s all going very well I have to say.  I don’t get hungry between meals.  My grocery bill is less than *half* what it used to be (a bonus that I wasn’t expecting).  And best of all – I have been losing weight: around seven kilograms in five weeks.

Now I don’t really care about keto diet puritanism and I have eaten out at least once or twice a week in that time, while still trying to avoid carbs, but not being fanatical about it – and I have still lost weight.

What I see as the benefit of keto style dieting is this: it lets you eat a *lot* less and supports intermittent fasting without getting hungry.  And that I think is the key – at the end of the day my calorie intake is below even my base metabolic rate – and I have been exercising on top of that as well, so my body is burning my stores of fat to make up the shortfall.  I can see the difference already – even if I can’t feel it when I’m doing chin-ups! (Yet).

So to anyone who is unhappy with their weight and would like to change it and are looking for a solution, I would highly recommend trying a keto style diet.  Note: I’m not a doctor or nutritionist, so please research keto diets and get professional advice to decide if it suits and is appropriate for you.

On this note I have been told that keto dieting may not be appropriate for women going through menopause, so as I said above, professional advice is recommended!

I will be continuing on this journey for several more kilograms yet and I will report back along the way.

John

Relationships, dating, and sex work in these times

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I came across this article recently and thought it worth commenting on in the context of my work as a male escort in Sydney, Australia.

The gist of the article is that older women (and also younger generations) are moving away from the model of conventional romantic relationships and instead finding happiness in deeper friendships (possibly with people of the same sex) rather than trying to get that from a romantic relationship.

This is I suspect influenced by changes in social norms and the decline of women’s financial dependence on men. (Many) women no-longer need to be in a relationship with a man to be able to provide for children, or just to get by.

So this opens up the opportunity for women to find different ways of satisfying their emotional needs and according the research quoted in the article many women are doing this through close friendships rather than romantic relationships with men.

I think that on the whole this is a positive thing. It is good to challenge conventional ideas about how we find happiness in life – and realising that it is possible to separate things like emotional fulfillment, intellectual fulfillment/challenge, and sexual fulfillment makes it much, much easier in my opinion to be able to fill your life with those things without being forced to compromise.

I literally see women doing this with my work. Women who have no-sexual relationships with a committed partner come to me for the sex that the relationship doesn’t give them. Others don’t have a committed relationship, but do have a strong friend network who give them emotional fulfillment, but not sex, so they come to me to get the physical intimacy that they don’t get elsewhere.

This isn’t a passing thing either. I have clients who have been coming to me for between five to ten years. So some women really do see my service as a long term part of their lives.

This won’t work for everyone, but I’m glad that sex work is decriminalised (mostly) here in Australia and can therefore help women to create better lives for themselves.

John

Why I have no desire to write a memoir

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Living in the society and economy that we do there is always a temptation to capitalise on any perceived “value” that we may hold. Because why wouldn’t you in a world that is constantly trying to take as much money out of our pockets as possible. If there’s an easy way to earn some extra dollars then it makes sense.

As a male escort with over thirteen years of experience helping women in Australia it is fair to say that I have a story that has some “value”. People will occasionally ask me if I’m ever going to write a memoir. And my answer to that is: no, I have no plans to write a memoir.

There are two reasons why.

The first: I don’t actually think that my work makes for a compelling story. The vast majority of what I do is pretty simple. Someone contacts me, tells me a little about who they are and why they want to see me. We arrange a time to meet. We meet, spend some time getting comfortable with each other, usually over a glass of wine, or a cup of tea, or perhaps a meal. We spend some time having sex. Then they go on their way.

My work is not dining in fancy restaurants, going to shows, staying in expensive hotels, and having wild sex – there may be a little of “the high life” thrown in there occasionally, but for the most part it’s meeting normal women and couples and helping them to have a sexual experience that they need or want. No more or less than that.

And honestly that is perfect for me. I really enjoy this work, but as a natural introvert I wouldn’t enjoy “partying” five days a week.

So my sex work “story” isn’t going to be gossip about scandalous parties and high profile celebrities etc (which I wouldn’t share anyway). It would have to be about real people and their lives and challenges and experiences.

Which brings me to the second reason: that is something that I will never share – because I am sure that in anything that I write about my work, the clients involved would be able to see themselves, even if I didn’t mention them directly, they would still know that I was talking about them.

I feel that would be a betrayal of the trust that every woman puts in me to protect her privacy and her well being when she makes a booking. I don’t believe that there is any need for me to share this sort of personal story beyond what I already share in a small way on this website – always with permission from the person concerned. It wouldn’t make the world a better place if I were to share these stories. It would only be cynical grab for some cash by me.

The only thing that I can think of that might be worth writing is – with the permission of the people involved – some kind of documentation of their personal journey in regards to seeing a sex worker. That wouldn’t really be a memoir of mine, but more likely very specific miniature biographies of my clients – and the purpose would be to help other women in a similar situation to improve their lives.

I can’t think of any other justification honestly.

John

Sexstortion?

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Ok, this wasn’t something I had on my 2023 bingo card – “Sextortion”. But I really shouldn’t be surprised I suppose. In this day and age of ever expanding online scamming, hacking, and spamming, lonely people looking for a connection really are an ideal target for people with no scruples and a desire for quick money.

So what is “sextortion”? From the article:

“…scammers are known to use sophisticated tactics to ensnare and exploit unwary love-seekers, engaging in what is increasingly known as “sextortion.” This worrying trend sees deceivers using emotional leverage to coerce individuals into sharing personal and often sensitive information or images, which can then be used as a means of extortion”

https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2023/11/10/is-online-dating-making-you-an-easy-target-for-sextortion-a-psychologist-explains/

I remember when scam emails claiming to have “hacked my web cam” started doing the rounds a while ago. The email claimed they had video of my doing unmentionable things and were going to share the videos of me with my family and friends and work colleges if I didn’t pay them a sum of bitcoin.

At the time I had a bit of a laugh about it because my webcam isn’t plugged in unless I’m using it, so it was clearly just a shotgun spray of emails to thousands or millions of email addresses in the hope of finding a few people who could be convinced to hand over money.

Clearly the tactics have evolved (even though I still get the “webcam scam” emails occasionally). So since many of the women I meet are actively using dating sites, or planning to, I think this is a good topic to cover.

I think that most people are aware of the basics of online safety, but it bares repeating in this case – be careful, trust your instincts, if something feels off (or too good to be true) then walk away.

Stay safe out there!

John

Ask me anything…

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If you could ask me any question what would it be? About me, about male escorts, about the industry, about a date with me, or something else?

Drop a comment below, email john@john-oh-escort.com, or text 0437 520 539 and I’ll do my best to answer it for you.

So I have a few questions that have come in overnight. Thank you to everyone who contributed! I’ll add more questions and answers as they arrive.

Here are a couple to get started, but you can read them all here.

Q. What happens if you don’t find me attractive?

A. In the thirteen years I have been working as a male escort this has never happened. No, all of my clients are not super models! Most of my clients are normal women with all of the variety of looks and body type that comes with.

I am extremely lucky though that I really only meet decent people who are respectful of me and I can make a connection with. I think that this comes in large part from the fact that the vast majority of women who book with me take the time to read a lot of my posts here on this website and in doing so they get a clear picture of who I, what I value, and what I offer. The women who choose to see me generally share my values and therein lies the key – if we can get along and have fun together out of bed, then that for me is the foundation of attraction in bed.

Q. Is sex work legal?

A. The answer to that question is “it depends”. Australia is one the most progressive nations in the world when it comes to sex work. New Zealand is as well, but they were a bit slower off the mark!

The bottom line is that here in New South Wales in Australia (and Victoria, The Australian Capital Territory, and the Northern Territory) sex work is decriminalised – meaning that it is treated like any other job and not regulated in any way specific to sex work (there are minor exceptions to this but they won’t effect you as a client).

Queensland, Tasmania, and Western Australia all allow sex work, but it is regulated or or less harshly in those states. South Australia remains the only state to effectively criminalise any form of sex work (South Australia needs to do better).

Q. Do the interactions with clients feel transactional?

A. No they don’t feel that way for me and I do my level best to make sure that they don’t feel that way for my clients. I like to be informal, to chat and have fun together. I treat every booking like I’m on a date with someone I’ve just met and am looking forward to getting to know better.

Q. Do you talk dirty to your clients? Do you mind if a woman wants you to talk dirty to her?

A. Dirty talk can be a fun part of sex – if that is something that works for you! I have no problem with being asked to talk dirty and will happily oblige, but it’s not something I will initiate as not everyone likes or wants it. So please feel free to ask!

Read all the questions and answers here!

Continue reading →

Sometimes it’s hard to decide…

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Seeing a male escort is not an easy thing to do for any woman. There are safety concerns, privacy concerns, even just the logistics of meeting can be difficult. By far though I believe that the biggest hurdle is making the decision to.

This is why almost all women who come to see me take from weeks to six months or even more from the time that they first find my website to the moment they decide to contact me. In that time many will read most or even all of my blog posts and articles.

It is not an easy or simple decision to make, especially when considering all of the above – and the cost as well.

So I thought I might share some factors that might make the decision a little easier.

If you are worried about safety, then I am very happy to do whatever you need to feel comfortable. I am always happy to meet in public, say at a cafe, at no cost to let you meet me and decide if I am the right male escort for you.

If you do decide to make a booking then you are welcome to come to me. I have a modern apartment to host our date, so there is no extra cost and privacy concern that comes with booking a hotel room for us. I also have secure off street parking available.

And when you arrive you are never under any obligation. I never ask for payment upfront and only ask to be paid when our session is over. If you feel that you want or need to leave at any time for any reason, then I don’t want the consideration of money having already been paid to effect your decision.

I have always guaranteed my service – if you aren’t happy, then you don’t pay. I feel this is important given the unreliability of many of the men in this industry and I try to hold myself to a higher standard.

Lastly – if you are unsure, then you can always talk to me. Call, text, email me any time and I will make the time to answer all of your questions.

John

PSA for men – Vibrators are an ally, not competition

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I was talking to a woman recently on the matter of penis size.  She was confirming that yes indeed she and pretty much every other woman she knows much prefers a modest size penis and that large ones are just uncomfortable or painful when having penetrative sex.  What matters far more to the pleasure of sex is the confidence of the owner of the penis than its actual size.

To that end the discussion turned to vibrators and an experience that she had with a man who while he was reasonably confident with his penis he was vastly threatened by her owning a vibrator!  He felt that it was an attack on his prowess as a lover.

So lets be really clear guys – you need to let that insecurity go.  A woman you are dating would prefer to get her pleasure from you rather than a device if at all possible.  Just like you would rather receive pleasure from that woman than masturbate alone.

Everyone responds to sexual stimulation differently and has their own preferences.  If a woman needs or just enjoys stronger clitoral stimulation than you can provide, then that is just a fact of who she is and not a failing on your part. If she wants to use a vibrator while having sex, then treat that as just a part of the fun and find ways to make that work for both of you.

John