Xplore Sydney – the festival of the art of lust

Posted on by
Reply

While browsing the web last week I came across the website of the Xplore Sydney Festival.

http://sydney.xplore-festival.com

From the home page of the Xplore site …

“Xplore is a three-day event on creative sexuality, BDSM, tantra, ritual and other body practices. Delve into new found pleasures by joining us.

Xplore has its origin in Berlin in 2004. For the first time Xplore will take place in another city: the city of Sydney.”

A lot of people ask me what is the strangest request I have ever had working as a male escort.  Surprisingly the answer is not very strange.  Most people just want good basic sex.

If however you are interested in trying something different (and I have found that a growing number of women are!), indulging a fantasy, stepping outside of your comfort zone and exploring your sexuality further, then I can definitely help.  I have experience in bondage and discipline, role-playing and more.

However, it’s always good to broaden one’s knowledge.  So Xplore Sydney looks like a good opportunity to spend time with people more experienced than I am in a wide range of sexual modes.  Some of the workshops that caught my eye include:

  • BDSM & the Conscious Body
  • Creating a BDSM scene
  • Dressing for Pleasure
  • Electrosex
  • Ethical Sluthood: foundations of nontraditional lifestyles
  • Intellectual Bondage
  • Naked Yoga
  • Playfight
  • Resistance Play
  • Rituals of Intimacy
  • Sensual Dominance and Submission
  • Sluthood Intensive: a place to brainstorm your most challenging poly issues
  • Switching
  • The Dancing Whip: Flogging in Movement
  • The Novice Orgy

There’s a full list on the Xplore website.

Now a lot of this stuff will not be to everyone’s taste, but that’s really the point.  As a male escort for women, I see my job as being the person you can come to when you are ready to explore something new. As such Xplore Sydney provides an opportunity to step outside some boundaries in a safe and comfortable environment.

The organisers tell me that they will be releasing full details of the festival by the end of the year, so I will be checking back in due course to find out about cost and availability.

If you would be interested in attending Xplore Sydney with me (free of charge), please let me know. It would be good to be able to go along with someone and have another viewpoint on the workshop.

It looks like they are also going to have a very interesting after party!

John

Sexpo 3 – Lucid Dream vibrator from Doc Johnson

Posted on by
Reply

About half of everything sold at Sexpo is probably a vibrator of some kind.  I bought a couple to give away.  The first one is the Lucid Dream No. 14 by Doc Johnson.

I was drawn to it for two reasons: the size and the shape.  Many women I know enjoy penetration and this vibrator, at 9.5 inches long is a good size for that.  It’s shape, as you can see looks like it would work well for g-spot stimulation.  And the location of the vibrating bullet means that you would get plenty of powerful stimulation, whether you used it on your clit, or to target your g-spot inside.

The demo unit I played with proved that the vibration is quite strong (for a battery operated unit) and it was relatively quiet too.

The unit is phthalate free and interestingly it claims to be waterproof.  This open up a whole new area for fun in the shower, or bath …

The manufacturers product page can be found here:

http://www.docjohnson.com/index.php/vibrators/lucid-dream-no-14.html

So, I have one Lucid Dream No. 14 and a bottle of Swiss Navy natural lube to go with it to give away to the next person to book an overnight date.

John.

Sunday afternoon fun – Improv. sex swing

Posted on by
Reply

It’s a lazy Sunday afternoon with nothing much to do, so how better to spend it than whipping up an improvised sex swing and having some fun?

Now, if you have no idea of what a sex swing is, it is usually a set of straps or ropes, designed to be suspended from the cieling that hold one partner suspended comfortably off the floor and exposed and positioned for the other partner to administer some serious pleasure.  If your still wondering what I am talking about, then check out this Google image search on sex swing.

If your not handy with tools and don’t have a climbing harness laying around then you can always buy a commercial sex swing.  I came across this one:

http://www.peaksensuality.com/ProductDetails.aspx?productID=1179

quite a good looking sex swing for just under $200.

So, what can you do with a sex swing?

It’s great for giving oral sex to a partner, as they are raised up (in our case, above the bed) allowing easy access without straining your neck or cramping your legs.  It also creates interesting tensions in your body for the person who is suspended which can enhance orgasm.

It’s interesting for penetration, since you can create the strong sensations of thrusting sex with out even having to move, just some very gentle pushing to set up a rythmic swinging motion which does all of the work for you.  Very different to regular sex for both partners.

If you are a voyeur or an exhibitionist then a a sex swing will be right up your alley (so to speak!) as it gives you a great view of your suspended partner.

Ultimately a sex swing is just plain fun.  It’s like nothing you have done before and I highly recommend giving it a try one day!

John.

Sexpo – 2 … The Pussy Shaver kit

Posted on by
2

Having a shaved pussy can feel great for sex and oral sex.  Smooth slippery skin … such intimate contact …

But the day to day logistics of shaving can be problematic.  In-grown hairs, shaving cuts etc.

The kit includes a powder brush (bottom left), the long hair trimmer (middle), and the fine hair shaver (top right)

One of the stalls that I saw at Sexpo run by a company caleld VShavers was selling a kit of electric shavers that they call the Pussy Shaver kit.  Basically it has two shavers.  One rather like the shape of a toothbrush for trimming long hair, the other more like a regular shaver for removing stubble and fine hair.  Add some talcum powder as a dry lubricant and you are away.

I don’t have hairy arms, so the demo on me was only just noticeable!  But I watched another gentleman have a patch shaved on a very hairy forearm (much more like a woman’s pubic hair) and the result was excellent.

You can buy the shaver kit online at their website:

http://www.vshavers.com.au/

I bought one of the kits and will give it away as one choice for the next four people to book an overnight date with me.

John.

The Sybian

Posted on by
1

Some years ago I came across what was and I think still is considered the ultimate vibrating sex toy for women: The Sybian.

A Sybian (on the right) with accessories and attachments

A Sybian (on the right) with accessories and attachments

This is a Sybian. It’s designed to be sat upon (with your choice of attachment for penetration, or not).  And it has a remote control unit for vibration speed/power.

A woman can use the Sybian on her own, or with the soft cover without the penetration insert (bottom centre in the photo) then it is possible for a couple to have sex doggy style while she receives strong clitoral stimulation.

I mentioned the Sybian to a client the other day (hi Rachael!) and she came across a relatively new site through Google of a Sydney based company that offers Sybian parties and hire.

You can see their site here:

http://sweetsybiansydney.blogspot.com/

Sweet Sybian Sydney run parties just for women and also for couples to try out a Sybian.

John.

Sex in relationships

Posted on by
Reply

If you keep an eye on sexuality related trivia like I do, then you may have noticed a few months ago that a French woman successfully sued her husband (and was awarded AUD$13,500 in damages) because he failed to fulfill his duty as a husband to provide sex to his wife during their marriage.

http://www.smh.com.au/world/strangebuttrue/husband-ordered-to-pay-wife-for-lack-of-sex-20111130-1o5oj.html

The husband appealed the decision and lost.  The ruling and the damages stand.

When I first read about this I was amazed.  This sort of situation is very familar to me (as is the reverse).  But the French legal system has potentially just set a precident that has absolutely huge implications, at least in their own country.

The first thing that comes to mind is: this opens the flood gates for men, unsatisfied with their sex lives to sue their wives for damages.  The second is: what about our right as individuals to say “no”?

The more you pick at this issue the more complex it gets, and I expect that in the short term at least, only the lawyers are going to win from it.

What I do see though is that this ruling (in France at least) puts a spotlight on our relationships and how we treat each other sexually.  I recently made a post offering a Master Class in giving great oral sex to women and I think that this court case confirms my thinking.  Guys: we need to put a lot more effort into pleasing our partners (and being able to give great oral sex is a much appreciated skill).  And it’s not hard to do.  Yes it takes effort and a little thought, but honestly it’s not that hard.

What you need is:

  1. To understand you partner and your own sexuality (what you each like, what you don’t like, what turns you on, what satisfies you)
  2. A few specific skills (how to give oral sex, how give your partner an orgasm, what she likes when it comes time to have penetrative sex)
  3. A plan that delivers what each of you need and want

I have had occassion to discuss these issues with women and couples and often it is relatively easy to find ways to help overcome the hurdles.  A little bit of understanding, a little bit of effort and flexibility can transform the situation.

I am not a sex therapist, or medial professional, but I do have a lot of real world experience, that I am able to share.  I also have the big advantage as a sex worker over a health professional that I am ethically able to demonstrate and directly teach men and women the physical techniques that I use and know.

So, here’s an open invitation to men, women, and couples.  Do you want to improve your sex life?  If you do, then contact me; post a comment below, send me an email, or give me a call and we can talk about what might work for you.  If you don’t think that your partner would want to be involved, don’t worry, we can still talk and find solutions that you can implement on your own.

Lets keep the courts out of our bedrooms and start having better sex!

John.

Sexpo – 1

Posted on by
Reply

I only made a short visit in to Sexpo on Saturday as the day was compressed by a delayed flight from Sydney and having a big evening planned, so I went back again on Sunday.

If you have never been to Sexpo, here’s a short run down …

Mostly Sexpo is a chance for anyone who does “stuff” in the “adult industry” to show off to the public over four days.  On top of that, there is an ongoing stage show of adult oriented acts (like the Tokio Shock Boys, male and female strippers, audience participation and more) and curiously this time they had a motorcycle stunt show … not quite sure how that fits, but I guess that it appeals to the main audience demographic!  Granted they did some pretty impressive stuff, but it’s not exactly about sex.

Some of the stands on display included:

  • More sex toy vendors than you could poke a (erm …) stick at, ranging in quality from the really cheap to the really expensive.  There were a lot of good deals on offer though, so it makes for a fun way to buy a vibrator as just about everything on the market was there and available at prices as good as you would get online (or better sometimes)
  • Show bags – $60 for a bag full of goodies for wome, or men, or couples.  They contained things like vibrators, lube, ligerie, male masturbators (of which there are now lots more on the market), various sex toys, and more
  • Fetish wear – from the mild (riding crops and suspenders) to the serious (body restrains, ball gags, nipple clamps), to the seriously bizar (gimp costumes, speculums, and more).  Interestingly, the people who run these businesses are often the easiest to talk to, very open minded, and lots of fun
  • Lingerie – definitely sexy
  • Personal grooming – I saw hair crimping tools and intimate shavers
  • Photography – glamour and intimate, there were at least four different businesses with stands there
  • ClubX – one of the largest chains of adult stores had a very big stand with a large range of products from their catalogue.  ClubX has gone a long way up-market from their early days and put together a very nice stand with lots of staff and lots of interesting products
  • Charities – there were a couple of organisations there drumming up support for their adult related causes, which was good to see
  • Pole dancing equipment – just one stand, but they can set up with everything you need!

I am sure to have missed out on some stuff, but that gives you a good overview. One thing that seemed quite abscent though were retailers of DVDs.  I may have just overlooked them, but I don’t think so.  I expect that the Internet is busy destroying the DVD delivery business model, so perhaps that is the reason.

Both Saturday and Sunday when I visited were absolutely packed.  Heaps of people, in equal numbers for male and female.  Average age was probably around thirty.

I will wrap this post up now.  I have a bunch of toys and products to review and give away, so I will get on with that next and give you more details and photos!

John.

Back in Sydney!

Posted on by
4

This is just a short update post, I am back in Sydney after my trip to Melbourne for the weekend.  The trip was great, Sexpo was a lot of fun and I have heaps to write about this week as a result.

I also have lots of toys and things from Sexpo that I will be giving away, so come back soon, or subscribe to my RSS feed to find out how to score yourself something fun, including grooming, vibrators, lube, and ClubX gift vouchers!

I am available in Sydney tonight as I am staying overnight before heading home tomorrow, so drop me a line if you would like to experience some pleasure and I will throw in a a toy as a bonus :-)

John.

Hold him to account

Posted on by
Reply

I normally try to keep my posts positive, but I think that it is worth making a statement about the radio presenter Kyle Sandilands, who has been behaving very badly (again) of late.

Plenty of people in the press have dissected his behavior, so I don’t need to do it here.

As someone who often sees the results of emotional abuse of women by men I say that it is time for men to step up and tell their badly behaved mates “no, it’s not ok to treat women this way”.

I was raised by my parents to “never hit a girl”.  When I was young I took that rule at face value, but as I grew up I realised that there is a much wider meaning.  That is … when you are stronger, or more powerful than someone else, you have a responsibility to use that power if a wise and fair way.  You don’t abuse it.

Kyle Sandilands is given enormous power by his employers and sponsors.  Sadly his parents don’t seem to have taught him the lesson “not to hit girls”.  Which brings us to the dubious morality of his employers and sponsors.

If anything good can come of Kyle Sandilands’ abuse of women it’s that our society realises that we don’t want and shouldn’t reward attitudes like his.

John.

Voyeurism

Posted on by
Reply

Voyeurism

I have always been a voyeur at heart.  I love the female form, the way a woman’s body looks when she moves, or reclines … the way a couple’s bodies look together …

But the act of looking goes beyond the observer’s pleasure.  As the owner of the club in Shortbus said: “voyeurism is participation (darling)”.  Just as in physics where the “Observer Effect” means that the act of observation will make changes to the phenomenon being observed, so too when we look we influence those who we observe.

For many people, being watched in a sexual context is as arousing for them as it may be for the observer.  This is something that I quite enjoy myself.  If I am having a shower, for instance when I am on a date, then I will invite you to watch.  Some people love it and I quite enjoy being seen.

Voyeurism can be much more intimate too.  Australian Crawl said in their song Beautiful People … “they won’t admit it, but they make love in the dark”.  Sex with the lights off has it’s own pleasures (take away the sense of sight and and your mind will heighten all of your other senses to compensate), but personally I think that it’s a good thing to keep at least a little light when making love.  Site is our strongest sense and we rely on it so thoroughly in every other aspect of day to day life that it is a shame to miss out on it during sex.

I find the combination of seeing as well as feeling to be extremely arousing.  It’s also a very intimate way of communicating with your lover … when you can see them drinking in the sight of you and enjoying it, then it’s hard not to feel good about yourself.

So don’t be shy about your body ladies (and men).  I know that many of you feel that you are less than perfect and perhaps not so confident to show off for your partner, but take it from me: men love looking at women.  And when it comes to great sex, a woman who is confident enough to show off her body a little to her lover is going to please him greatly.  Confidence is sexy.

John.