Feminist porn

We just had a presentation from Tristan Taormino at Xplore about feminist porn.

She is a good presenter and makes an interesting topic even more fun.

Short story is that as a genera feminist porn (however you define it) it is growing at a huge rate. Lots of interesting new directors and content out there.

If you are interested to see more from Tristan Taormino have a look at her website:

http://www.puckerup.com

John.

Xplore Festival Sydney

Today I am attending the second day of the Xplore Festival. Its been a lot of fun so far, but I was dissapointed to miss the first day.

So far today I have done a workshop on Dirty Talk. Very entertaining, and gave me lots to think about.

The second session was on Domination and Submission and Tantra. I dont get into spirituality, but the breathing and connecting with another person was good.

John.

More women opt for genital plastic surgury

Stories come up in the media from time to time about women having genital (cosmetic) plastic surgery and I am always left feeling really sad by them.  Take this example from the Sydney Morning Herald:

http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/wellbeing/more-women-opt-for-genital-plastic-surgery-20101107-17j1f.html

The second paragraph was what really surprised me:

The biggest increase in vaginoplasty and labioplasty has been among teenagers and those in their early 20s.

Teenage women (girls as young as 15 the article goes on to say) having labioplasty? (A procedure where a portion of the inner labia are cut off to make them protrude less).  What on earth is going on?

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Sex is not a weapon – or – make love not war on women …

I have (thanks to parents who taught me about right and wrong, and equality) always seen and treated women as my equals.  Not as better, not as inferior.  We are all human, different in some ways (defined by our DNA and body chemistry), but always deserving of respect and fair treatment.

So it’s sad to me to come across articles like this one “Why Women Still Can’t Enjoy Sex” from Fairfax’s Daily Life:

http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/dl-opinion/why-women-still-cant-enjoy-sex-20120321-1vjgg.html

The article itself makes good points about how both men and women shame women for wanting / having / enjoying sex (and lets not even start on being a sex worker).  Which all reminds me of my recent blog post about a new book by Jacqueline Hellyer on having better sex.

The world conspires against women (and men too) having good sex.  It’s insidious and it’s really detrimental to our relationship and to our happiness.

The answer is to allow sex and sexuality to be a part of our lives (whether you want it personally or not), not to relegate it to the back room, or use it as a stick to beat others with.  Lets talk about sex, have sex, and live sexual lives, rather than give in to the people who fear and hate sex and all of the joy that it can bring to our lives.

John.

What good sex does for us

To be a happy healthy person you need balance in your life.  Good food in moderation, exercise, companionship, challenges, and yes sex.

Our society is very good at telling us that we need to exercise more, eat better etc.  But sadly there is no-one talking about the role that sexuality can play in improving out lives.  It’s treated by most people as something that happens to some people and (if they are lucky) it’s good.

I have come to realise though that regular sex and sexual play can drastically alter a person’s personality and life in a positive way!  We have all seen it, or experienced it ourselves at one time or another, a workmate or friend turning up with that rosy cheeked look and a smile that just screams “I’ve been having really good sex”.  We treat that though as just a passing thing.  It’s a new relationship, or some life change means that you are having more sex with your partner.  And for a while the world is a rosy place and you are chilled out and happy.  But then the gloss wears off, things get dull, and sex goes back to being ho-hum, or absent.

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Harsh measures!

I just came across a very amusing article that nicely demonstrates the power of sex …

http://rt.com/news/spain-banks-escorts-sex-198/

High class (female) Spanish escorts are refusing to provide sexual services to bankers until the banks loosen their purse strings and start lending again to Spanish citizens and small to medium size businesses and enterprises.

I don’t think that it’s about to improve Spain’s economic situation, but it’s a nice demonstration of the very real power of sex on the average male!

John.

The thin end of the wedge

According to an article published in the Sydney Morning Herald today:

http://www.smh.com.au/world/you-know-what-men-are-like-indonesia-to-ban-miniskirts-over-links-to-rape-20120329-1vz7q.html

The Indonesian religious affairs minister is going to ban mini-skirts because they cause men to rape women.

I have no idea where to even start with this non-sense really.  Except to say that this is an excellent example of why allowing fundamentalist religious minorities to have power in any society is always a bad thing for women (it will also be bad for gay men, lesbians, and any other minority that catches the attention of these people)..

Bad for their liberty, bad for their health, bad for their education, and definitely bad for their sexuality.

In Indonesia the problem is fundamentalist Islam, in the US it’s fundamentalist Christianity.  In Australia we are largely immune to these forces, but it has been with a growing sense of dismay in recent times that I have watched people who I have considered intelligent, educated, and open minded fall down the rabbit hole of extreme religious views and start spouting nonsense that is on a par with Indonesia’s obsession with seeing women’s knees.

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Sex Tips for Busy People, by Jacqueline Hellyer

I love and enjoy sex.  A good thing given that I am a male escort for women.  Not everyone does – both men and women.  But most do.

Unfortunately our society often conspires to force us out of doing the things that are really conducive to wanting and having good sex.  The Sydney Morning Herald published an article recently about the book Sex Tips for Busy People, by Jacqueline Hellyer here:

http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/how-to-have-gourmet-sex-20120315-1v77z.html

The conclusions drawn in the article and book about how to revitalise your sex life centre around simple practical things.  Like making time that’s dedicated to sex, going to bed early, talking to your partner, being nice to each other.

These are things that my partner and I do as a matter of course, but as I said at the beginning, people’s lives ofte conspire against being able to do this stuff.  Stress, limited time, work, family pressures, and just the familiarity that a long term relationship brings can make it really hard to do these simple things.

The article uses the analogy of good sex being like a gourmet meal: it takes time and effort to prepare and as a result is more enjoyable and special because of that effort.  Which gave me a chuckle as (if you continue the analogy) you could consider that booking a date with me is like going to a good restaurant.  You don’t have to do the preparation and cooking, but you still get the great meal.

The life lesson though is that if you want good sex, you (both) have to work for it.  I am all in favor of that and it is one of the reasons that I offer my Masterclasses in oral sex.  Not everyone can afford my services on a regular basis, so I wanted to be able to give couples and singles a few more skills to help things along.

The more we think about our sex life, work at giving to our partner the better.  Sometimes it can’t, or won’t be reciprocated, but it’s definitely worth a try!

John.

Ten Minutes To Orgasm movie – Update

I have just had a quick look at the download statistics for my movie Ten Minute To Orgasm.  What can I say but OH WOW.

In the seven days since I posted the video it has been downloaded over 100,000 times.

That is simply stupendous,  I am lost for words …

My website traffic has gone up by more than an order of magnitude.  Lucky the server can handle it.

I think that I will just say “thank you” and leave it at that.

John.