I wanted to take a moment to say thank you to all of my clients who have made this year such a success and so much fun.
I have been enormously luck to once again get to travel, making films, and enjoying the company of wonderful people – even when it’s only for an hour or two.
You make John Oh the best job in the world and I look forward to another year of exploration, discovery, and fun.
I wish everyone the very best for a safe and enjoyable Christmas break.
John.
You know the cliche – scrawled on a bathroom wall, or in the lyrics of a song – “for a good time call…”
But it begs the question: why shouldn’t we call someone when we have a sexual need that we want fulfilled?
In Western cultures especially, everything is comercialised. Food. Water. Healthcare (even when it’s free, the provision is still paid for), entertainment, transport. Everything beyond the air we breath has a price on it – and we, generally, see that as perfectly normal and acceptable even if we grumble about prices.
But not sex.
Even when sex is being sold and paid for legally – as a society – we don’t like to talk about it. We don’t like to admit that some people happily sell sex and others happily buy it. That some people sell sex out of necessity and are grateful that they can. That some people have few or no other options to get the sex that they want and are grateful that there are providers who will see them.
In short, even here in New South Wales where sex work is decriminalised, “social norms” have not caught up with the law. It’s a good thing that the law is more progressive than people. We get to have things like same sex marriage and the right to sell sex services even though the general public, if they think about it at all, might tend to oppose it.
But as someone who might be considering buying sex, you have had to make a journey from one side of that divide to the other. It’s not an easy journey. It may require a person to question unconscious beliefs. To challenge (even in their own mind) the narrative they hear from friends and family, the media, and of course religion.
So many barriers. So many hurdles. But here you are reading an article written by a man who is paid by women to provide sexual services to them…
That, to me, is quite remarkable. I love that despite the finger wagging. Despite the rhetoric. Despite centuries of indoctrination. Despite our very way of life, our social norms declaring that monogamous relationships are the only way we are allowed to indulge in sex that isn’t somehow improper –
Women and couples still choose to own their sexuality. To say no to convention. To ignore the people who push shame and guilt on others. And to pay for the sex that they want and need.
Sex work is the best work I have done in my entire life. I love it and I love the people who it brings to my life.
So if you are thinking of engaging my services, then as the cliche goes… “for a good time call John, 0437 520 539” (or text, or drop me an email!).
John.
A little glimpse behind the scenes… (safe for work – almost)
If you have trouble playing this clip, you can download it first using the link below then play on your device or computer.
It’s not cheap seeing a male escort for women like myself and while some people like to have their booking at a hotel, that adds another cost to the encounter. That may be ok for a one off booking or for the first time, but most of my clients like to see me semi-regularly, so hotels can become a serious extra expense.
However if you want to, you can come to me. I have a nice, modern, air-conditioned apartment in the inner west of Sydney with secure visitor parking.
It has great views and a comfortable couch so that we can chat and have a glass of wine, or a cup of tea when you arrive.
If you are visiting me for lunch or dinner, then I can cook us a meal in my kitchen while we talk, or we can order in, or go out to a local restaurant.
For a longer booking, like overnight, we could watch a movie together, cuddling on the couch before going to bed.
When we are ready my bedroom has a king size bed with soft linen, candle light, massage oil, and everything else we may need.
At the end of our session, when the cuddling is done, I have a nice bathroom with a very enjoyable shower in case you feel like freshening up before you go!
So, if you are considering seeing me, but wondering where we could meet – you are very welcome to come to me
John.
A friend swears I look like Jeff Goldblum…
John
I am looking at coming to Melbourne next year in February, from Thursday 27th to Sunday 1st of March.
If you would like to book a date with me, I will be available day time and evenings, for short and long bookings.
John.
I received an email recently from Sydney therapist Tanya Koens about a course that she is running for professionals in her field to help treat patients who are dealing with sexual pain. So while this workshop is not for people seeking treatment, i thought it was worth writing about because I may have readers who have issues around painful sex, but don’t know that there are professionals who can help them.
Hello Lovely Colleagues
I’m just dropping you a line to let you know I am running a workshop for those working with clients who experience sexual pain. This group of clients has a particularly difficult time finding practitioners who will believe them and be able to help them. I’m passionate about helping people get the help they need and keen to share all that I have learned in 15 years practice as a sexologist.
The workshop details are here:
https://www.surryhillstherapy.com/whensexhurts
I would be ever so grateful if you could share this with colleagues. Social media don’t like things to do with sex and ban most of my workshop promotions.
Best
Tanya
Tanya’s last last sentence is particularly important I think – in this day and age of (most significantly) American fear and paranoia about sex and sexuality – especially on social media – it’s actually really hard for individuals who have problems around sex and sexuality to get the information that they need to be able to find the treatment or services that they need.
It never ceases to surprise me how many women who book sessions with me tell me that until say, seeing an article in the news paper, they didn’t even know that straight male escorts for women were a thing that existed – let alone were a service that they could use. Sex work has few places to exist “publicly” on the internet (meaning communal spaces like social media) and we can debate the merits of that censorship. But it is without doubt wrong that matters of sexual health be excluded from these spaces.
If you have a need for sexual health services – don’t despair. There are professionals like Tanya out there who can assist you and it’s worth investing the effort to find them and make a start on improving you life!
John
The old saying “sex sells” is forever true. I have been in this industry for over nine years now and every now and then something stirs up the media, and various newspapers and sites trip over each other to write about the phenomenon of women buying sex – some more sensational than others.
Recently Dr Hillary Caldwell of University of New South Wales published the results of a study that she conducted into women who pay for sex. A number of my clients participated in the study. Unsurprisingly the media jumped on this and there is a small slew of articles that hit the internet over the last few days. I was interviewed for two of them (by the Sydney Morning Herald and the Daily Mail Australia).
What struck me when viewing the Daily Mail article was how dismissive and aggressive the handful of comments were (and how many “likes” they received).
It doesn’t upset me personally – as a sex worker you will always come across people mean of spirit and narrow of mind. But I feel for women who may be interested in hiring a male sex worker but see comments like these and start to question themselves and if they are really doing the right thing.
After all it’s not an easy topic to talk to friends and family about to get reassurance and support. When people condemn sex work out of hand, or laugh at the idea of a woman paying for sex it can be hard to trust the instincts that made you think that maybe this is something that you would like to try.
So I thought I would provide a counterpoint some perspective if you will. This is from an email (with permission) that I received recently from a client – she is 69 years old and has been seeing me regularly for the last six years.
I just wanted to thank you so much for yesterday. It was wonderful (as always), but I also really enjoyed our discussions. You are open and honest with me, and oh so trusting. Guess it goes both ways. Of course it does.
You are a balm to my soul in trying times. Satisfy me in so many ways. The loving, the caring the fun and laughter, the time we spend together is so precious.
You make me feel like a real woman. No contest. You take me to places that I’ve never been. That is amazing!
Some women see me only once, to satisfy a fantasy, or just have some fun. But most of my clients are regular and long term as they find that my service can fill a gap in their lives that they cannot fill any other way.
And as per Dr Caldwell’s study – they find that with me they have a safe, secure, and discreet means of getting the sex that they need to be happy in their lives.
So, if you are contemplating hiring a straight male escort, but you are unsure and feeling the pressure of people who like to put others down, or are scared of challenging the norms of relationships and society, then take heart – you are not alone, many women have come before you and many more will come after.
I offer a safe, discreet, fulfilling service and it would be my pleasure to entertain you.
John.
I have to admit that I live in a bit of a bubble. I don’t watch commercial television or listen to commercial radio. I don’t read newspapers (online, or paper).
I have terms like “Donald Trump”, “Scott Morrison” and “politics” blocked on Twitter.
I really don’t need the ongoing train wreck of Western politics in my face – even occasionally.
And then there’s commercial TV and radio – swamped by cheap to produce reality TV, “current affairs” programs that platform racists in the name of “balance” and ignore the very real problems in the world in favour of tabloid sensationalism.
I’m happy in my bubble honestly. I spend my work times with interesting people who on the whole care about the sort of things I care about – social justice, tolerance, freedom – people who understand that the world is bigger than them and requires an open mind.
As I write this, I am in Canberra. I stopped earlier at a self serve car wash to wash my car and (disappointingly) had to listen to a commercial radio station for the 15 minutes it took me to clean the car.
It reaffirmed to me that I haven’t been missing anything. From the inane banter about clothing to the news items delivered in the most effective way to make a listener feel stressed about things that don’t actually matter.
It was all just noise. Noise that, if you let it, will drown out the things in life that do matter. This is the very real problem with the “modern condition” living in a place like Sydney.
I heard recently of a man, who emigrated to Australia from India and settled in Sydney. He found employment and has been living like so many of us do – working to pay the rent and have some free time and money to enjoy himself.
His realisation though is profound: he has decided to return to the small town that his family comes from in India – because the quality of life there, while modest, is better for him than the kind of life that we live here in Sydney. In his home town he doesn’t have a lot of money, but he has time – time to spend with friends and family doing whatever they want to, or even nothing at all. He may not have great restaurants to go to like we do, but food is cheap and he and his family have time to cook and share good meals.
The list goes on, but I think that you can see the point I am making – we sacrifice a lot living in a place like Sydney. Our lives are driven by work. Our free time is seriously restricted by the daily requirement to earn money to pay rent.
A semi-rural lifestyle with limited money may not seem like the best life to you and me – we have grown up in a different way and have different expectations – but I think that it can still teach us something.
That lesson is: we shouldn’t see work and the assumption that we must all do it all the time as an inherently good thing. For most of us it is a necessary thing, but it tends to draw us away for the fundamentals of human nature – that is connections with the people around us, the sharing of simple pleasures, and time to just “be”, rather than “do”.
I think that this lesson is particularly relevant when considering my industry. Paying for the services of a male escort like myself absolutely costs money. But it’s trading money not for another “thing” in ones life, but for an experience. The older I get, the less interested I become in having things in my life and the more I value the experiences I have with other people.
Much like the gentleman from India, what I really want is to live a life full of people and new experiences with them. I think that, if anything, is the way to live a fulfilling life.
John.
Saturday morning post swim/run bliss…
