Sex toy safety

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Since we are all in various states of lockdown and sex toys are extremely popular right now, I thought it worth making a quick post about sex toy safety.

I saw this Twitter thread earlier and it’s worth sharing…

https://twitter.com/ftmcherub/status/1307977882745143296

What’s the main takeaways?

  • The sex toy industry is unregulated – with all of the horrible implications that has for product safety
  • You get what you pay for! If it’s cheap (with the possible exception of glass, stainless steel, and things on obvious heavy discount) then the toy is probably made from something that you don’t want to put in or on sensitive parts of your body.

Masturbation is good (I have a couple of articles in the works touching on this) and we should all do it. Toys are a fun way to expand that pleasure – but it’s really important to use safe toys!

John.

This is why I do it…

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I recently had a booking with a woman who (like most of my clients) had never seen a male sex worker before.

She was nervous, but determined and we had a good session together. That evening she sent me the text below (shown with her permission).

It was a nice reminder to me of a large part of why I do this job (besides earning the income that we all need to get by in life). It’s because what I do brings people joy. Not the momentary endorphin hit of a new purchase, but something that lasts for days – and perhaps even a lifetime…

I have always enjoyed the work that I have done (mostly around IT and design), but I can honestly say that while much of it was useful and beneficial to my clients, none of it ever really made a difference to anyone’s life. Not in a significant or lasting way. That work was unimportant to people’s lives.

With sex work though, I feel that although I can only ever see a tiny fraction of all the people in the world, I will, in most cases, make a significant and positive contribution to their lives and their happiness.

And that, I think, is enough.

John.

Too many women have never experienced oral sex

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It happened again. I met a woman who had never experienced oral sex from a partner. Not just “never had good oral sex” – but “never had it ever”.

How – in the twenty first century is this possible?

Men – I’m looking at you – you need to do better.

I mean the whole “I-want-a-blowjob-from-you-but-I’m-not-prepared-to-reciprocate” hypocrisy is bad enough. But to have never even tried it – not once – is unforgivable as a sexual being – as a man (I’m pretty sure that lesbians and bi women have this covered). We are well past the “vaginas are scary and full of magic” stage of human social evolution. We all know that oral sex is perfectly safe and healthy and normal to do.

So why aren’t more men making good oral sex skills a priority in their sex lives? I don’t have an answer to this question. I am perplexed.

I love giving oral sex. If I have a “kink” then that is probably it. I personally find it very arousing, and derive great pleasure and satisfaction from giving a woman oral sex – and hopefully an orgasm if that is what she wants.

Not all men share my enthusiasm apparently.

Which is a loss for their partners – but also for them! If you don’t give oral sex then that’s something that you yourself are missing out on, along with your partner. It’s another thing that you can share with your partner. It makes the range of sexual experiences that are possible greater. Isn’t that an excellent thing for every one?

And it may just get you a blowjob in return… I mean that’s got to be worth some investment, right?

At the end of the day I guess that this just highlights how limited many men’s view of sex is. It honestly makes me sad – for the women who don’t get the sex that they want and need to be happy and fulfilled and for the men who are living with impoverished sex lives.

We can do better as a society if we are prepared to have real conversations (and education) about sex.

John.

Keeping up with the competition…

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Every few years I take a look around the internet to see who is out here offering male escort services for women. Australia – and especially NSW where sex work in general is decriminalised – has really become a leader in visible male sex workers for women. There are some independent guys, a number of agencies, a few “directories” that offer male services for women, and there’s me.

I was surprised when I looked recently to only find a handful of websites for straight male escorts in Sydney other than my own. That said, there are now a few escort directories that have a selection of men as well. So there is some choice out there.

I’ve been working in this industry for over ten years now full time and I have worn my own little groove in it so to speak. I have a look that is definitely not what people might expect from a male escort (I don’t do lot of abs and muscle flexing and I’m not doing the debonair suit and tie thing). I am much more comfortable in my trademark denim jeans and white t-shirt honestly.

When I look at other male escorts in their suits and ties, or oiled up for the gym I will have a moment and wonder if perhaps I need to be trying to compete with that. Some of those guys look good!

But then I think about who I am and the service that I provide best – that is the opportunity to spend time with a real person – a whole person, not just a fantasy body or face.

What I’m interested in is you and your needs and making you feel great. If you are nervous, then I will put you at ease. If you want to spend time with someone who is fun to be with, share a meal, wine, and conversation, then I’m a good choice. If you just want some good honest sex, then I excel at that. If you want to explore your fantasies and push your boundaries, then I’m a safe and respectful choice with significant experience and no ego. If you just want someone to “see” you and make you feel special for once, then I will absolutely do that for you.

We all have our moments of insecurity in life and I am no different to anyone else in that regard. But I believe 100% that if I tried to be something that I am not then it won’t ring true. I know that most people who contact me have spent a lot of time researching male escorts in general and me in particular, so that effort deserves my respect and my honesty in how I present myself.

I will continue to be myself. And to offer my services my way. If that sounds good to you, then drop me a line – if not, then that’s ok too. There are as I have discovered, some more – if not plenty – of fish in this ocean! Which is good for everyone.

John.

Doxy play

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So. I came into possession of a Doxy vibrator recently (not permanently sadly, but for now it’s mine!).  I’m not a big fan of using sex toys on myself usually, but the reputation of the Doxy as a really powerful vibrator got me curious.  

Would it feel good for me as a man?  What would it feel like full stop?

So while the morning light lasted I thought I’d make a little film for you…

John.

How to hire a sex worker – from a woman’s point of view

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Sex worker Georgie Wolf published an article a little while back that I wanted to share with you. As her the title of this article, it’s a primer on how to hire a sex worker (male or female), written for women who may be contemplating this indulgence. You can see it here…

https://www.aboutescorts.info/one-for-the-ladies-three-useful-ideas-for-women-who-see-escorts/

All of the points that Georgie (who hires sex workers herself occasionally) are good, but I can’t agree more strongly than with her first point: do your research.

It is the single most important part of having a good experience with a sex worker. Get to know as much as you can about them. It will become obvious if they are a good fit for you. If they aren’t – then move on to the next person. There are lots of us out there and there is probably someone who is right for you.

I have always maintained that I do not want to see every client possible – I just want to see the women who I am well suited to and who are well suited to me. That way we are going to have the best experience together possible.

So ladies – I know I don’t have to tell you this, but it’s always worth repeating – as Georgie says: do your research!

John.

The virtual John Oh…

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Here in New South Wales, Australia we may be out of lockdown (for now), but I realise that many of you out there are still unable to travel to see me. I also know that lockdown can be really hard on people, especially if you have a need in your life for intimacy that isn’t being filled.

As a result, I have had a number of requests recently for online service including email chat, texting, and Zoom/Skype sessions. I am very happy to do these and will tailor any combination to your needs. So you can start off with some email or perhaps exchanging texts, move on to a sexy phone call, or when you are ready for it a video chat…

To pay for this service I am offering hourly credits at $200/hr for any combination of services. So you buy an hour or two of credit (contact me for payment options) and then we can use it for virtual play in any way that you choose.

I also want to say that these session don’t have to be erotic unless you want them to be. I have done sexy shower time fun and also just having a chat and “being there” to listen. It’s entirely up to you and based on whatever it is that you need right now that this crazy world can’t give you in person.

John.

Back to work

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As of July 1st, sex work will be legal again in NSW. So if you have been thinking of making a booking with me, then now is the time to drop me an email, or a text!

I am continuing to socially distance in my personal life (as well as wear a mask and hand sanitise regularly when in public) to reduce your risk if you come to see me.

John.

Well hello…

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Two weeks ago I was sent me a lovely CV-19/isolation gift – a one week trial with Hello Fresh – a company that delivers meal packages with everything you need to cook from scratch. So I thought I would take the opportunity to get a little creative and make a film with it.

I will admit I was sceptical, but I have to say – the food is really good!

John.

Help for couples with no sex experience – guidance and instruction about massage, touch, tantra, mutual oral, virginity, and more

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Not everyone who gets married has the sexual confidence and experience that they might like to have. It’s quite common for younger couples especially. Perhaps you come from a conservative culture and background, perhaps you just never had the chance to learn. It doesn’t matter how it happened – and it doesn’t mean you have to live with not knowing.

For many years now I have offered lessons to single women to help teach them about their body and help them explore their sexuality. I have also occasionally seen couples with similar needs, but I haven’t really written about this before and I thought that I should.

So here’s the bottom line – if you are a couple and one or both of you are inexperienced with sex (or even never had sex at all) then I can help you with practical instruction. I’m not a therapist who will just talk to you about what to do. As a straight male sex worker for women, I can provide practical experience in any area that you want to explore and gain confidence in. I can guide you and your partner through all of the things that you want to learn. I can demonstrate techniques (like how to give great oral sex to each other) showing both of you what works and how to learn about what each other likes. I can answer any questions that you have but don’t know who and how to ask.

My courses generally start with the simplest thing of all: touch. It can be literally just touching your partner’s body, it can be massage – which is a great way to explore and arouse your partner, it can be more sophisticated and sensual like intimate touch. I can show you all of these things and you can practice them with me and get feedback about how you are doing and improve your skills.

An extension of touch is oral sex. It’s an excellent way for a man to help his female partner to reach orgasm if she has trouble doing so through other means. I am very skilled in this area and can teach a man all of the techniques that he needs to be able to satisfy his partner. Conversely, I can show a woman how to touch her partner’s penis and teach her the techniques that make for great oral sex for him.

Are you a couple, newly married, and want to learn how to give each other erotic massage? I can help you with that. I can teach you how to give a massage that starts out relaxing and enjoyable, then builds up to sensual, creating lots of sexual tension and getting you both ready for some great sex…

Some couples are even in the position where one or both of them are virgins – have never experienced penetrative sex. I have met a couple from India in this situation in the past. This can be very stressful for both of you, but it’s a situation that I have been in many times and I can show you how to have sex for the first time without it being painful and help you to learn to make it great.

Techniques like tantra are especially good for couples to allow them to connect deeply and to make the sex that you have last as long as you want and to make it very satisfying. I can show you these things too.

Once you have the basics worked out, you might want to learn and experience more. If that’s the case, then I can help with that too. Advanced positions for sex, games like spanking, blindfolds, light BDSM. Anything that you can think of, I can help with practical guidance and instruction.

There is so much to explore for new couples and couples new to sex and I can be your guide. Safe. Knowledgeable. Discreet.

You can drop me a text, or email, or call me any time to discuss with no obligation and no risk.

John.