Category Archives: Media

What good sex does for us

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To be a happy healthy person you need balance in your life.  Good food in moderation, exercise, companionship, challenges, and yes sex.

Our society is very good at telling us that we need to exercise more, eat better etc.  But sadly there is no-one talking about the role that sexuality can play in improving out lives.  It’s treated by most people as something that happens to some people and (if they are lucky) it’s good.

I have come to realise though that regular sex and sexual play can drastically alter a person’s personality and life in a positive way!  We have all seen it, or experienced it ourselves at one time or another, a workmate or friend turning up with that rosy cheeked look and a smile that just screams “I’ve been having really good sex”.  We treat that though as just a passing thing.  It’s a new relationship, or some life change means that you are having more sex with your partner.  And for a while the world is a rosy place and you are chilled out and happy.  But then the gloss wears off, things get dull, and sex goes back to being ho-hum, or absent.

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The thin end of the wedge

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According to an article published in the Sydney Morning Herald today:

http://www.smh.com.au/world/you-know-what-men-are-like-indonesia-to-ban-miniskirts-over-links-to-rape-20120329-1vz7q.html

The Indonesian religious affairs minister is going to ban mini-skirts because they cause men to rape women.

I have no idea where to even start with this non-sense really.  Except to say that this is an excellent example of why allowing fundamentalist religious minorities to have power in any society is always a bad thing for women (it will also be bad for gay men, lesbians, and any other minority that catches the attention of these people)..

Bad for their liberty, bad for their health, bad for their education, and definitely bad for their sexuality.

In Indonesia the problem is fundamentalist Islam, in the US it’s fundamentalist Christianity.  In Australia we are largely immune to these forces, but it has been with a growing sense of dismay in recent times that I have watched people who I have considered intelligent, educated, and open minded fall down the rabbit hole of extreme religious views and start spouting nonsense that is on a par with Indonesia’s obsession with seeing women’s knees.

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Sex Tips for Busy People, by Jacqueline Hellyer

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I love and enjoy sex.  A good thing given that I am a male escort for women.  Not everyone does – both men and women.  But most do.

Unfortunately our society often conspires to force us out of doing the things that are really conducive to wanting and having good sex.  The Sydney Morning Herald published an article recently about the book Sex Tips for Busy People, by Jacqueline Hellyer here:

http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/how-to-have-gourmet-sex-20120315-1v77z.html

The conclusions drawn in the article and book about how to revitalise your sex life centre around simple practical things.  Like making time that’s dedicated to sex, going to bed early, talking to your partner, being nice to each other.

These are things that my partner and I do as a matter of course, but as I said at the beginning, people’s lives ofte conspire against being able to do this stuff.  Stress, limited time, work, family pressures, and just the familiarity that a long term relationship brings can make it really hard to do these simple things.

The article uses the analogy of good sex being like a gourmet meal: it takes time and effort to prepare and as a result is more enjoyable and special because of that effort.  Which gave me a chuckle as (if you continue the analogy) you could consider that booking a date with me is like going to a good restaurant.  You don’t have to do the preparation and cooking, but you still get the great meal.

The life lesson though is that if you want good sex, you (both) have to work for it.  I am all in favor of that and it is one of the reasons that I offer my Masterclasses in oral sex.  Not everyone can afford my services on a regular basis, so I wanted to be able to give couples and singles a few more skills to help things along.

The more we think about our sex life, work at giving to our partner the better.  Sometimes it can’t, or won’t be reciprocated, but it’s definitely worth a try!

John.

The science of female orgasm

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While browsing New Scientist on-line today I came across two articles about scientific study of female orgasm.  Links below:

There isn’t anything startlingly revelatory in either, but it does make for interesting reading.

For instance, fMRI scans have shown that for some women, stimulation of their nipples causes a response in their brain in the same area that vaginal stimulation activates.  As mentioned in the article, to female researchers this is completely obvious.  However male researchers were surprised (which frankly is not surprising).

One of the main findings is summed up here:

“During orgasm, almost the whole brain becomes highly active”

This is interesting, as it matches what I have been told by women: that during an intense orgasm they are totally transported out of the “here and now”.  It also explains perhaps why, if your mind is being distracted by other things, or not entirely engaged with the experience that it is so hard to achieve orgasm.

If you are interested in the science of orgasm, then these articles are worth a look.

John.

An interview

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About a year ago I was contacted by a woman who is a documentary film maker.  She has been working on a documentary about the male escort industry for women.

She has travelled all over the world to talk to escorts and record their stories.  I have done a number of interview with her in that time and am going to be seeing her again this week.

It has been an interesting experience and I am looking forward to seeing the finished product in due course.

I have always been somewhat sceptical of the media and their approach to the subject of escorting.  There is usually a lot of pre-judgement and pre-conceived ideas about us and the industry and our clients.  I agreed to participate in the end. partly at least because I think anything that raises the profile of male escorts for women is a good thing.  So few women even know that we exist, or that we offer a service that they might enjoy.  A new (Australian) documentary on the subject might be beneficial all round.

There is of course always the risk of prejudices tainting the outcome, but I think that in this case we are on fairly safe ground.

The one thing that I have always thought should be mandatory for someone reporting on our industry is that they actually experience the service that we offer.  After all, to me it seems a lot like trying to describe ice cream without ever having eaten any.  Until you have eaten ice cream it’s all just words.  The experience is something else altogether!

The lady in question declined my offer for first-hand experience unfortunately, so we shall see …

I will keep you posted.

John.