The thin end of the wedge

According to an article published in the Sydney Morning Herald today:

http://www.smh.com.au/world/you-know-what-men-are-like-indonesia-to-ban-miniskirts-over-links-to-rape-20120329-1vz7q.html

The Indonesian religious affairs minister is going to ban mini-skirts because they cause men to rape women.

I have no idea where to even start with this non-sense really.  Except to say that this is an excellent example of why allowing fundamentalist religious minorities to have power in any society is always a bad thing for women (it will also be bad for gay men, lesbians, and any other minority that catches the attention of these people)..

Bad for their liberty, bad for their health, bad for their education, and definitely bad for their sexuality.

In Indonesia the problem is fundamentalist Islam, in the US it’s fundamentalist Christianity.  In Australia we are largely immune to these forces, but it has been with a growing sense of dismay in recent times that I have watched people who I have considered intelligent, educated, and open minded fall down the rabbit hole of extreme religious views and start spouting nonsense that is on a par with Indonesia’s obsession with seeing women’s knees.

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Sweet Sybian Sydney – The inside story

Well, I attended my first Sweet Sybian Sydney party on Friday last week.  I have recieved a lot of email about Sweet Sybian Sydney since I blogged about it recently and I want to let everyone know that results.

The bottom line is … it was a fantastic party. If you are at all interested in the Sybian, then I highly recommend contacting Sweet Sybian Sydney, either for a private session, or to attend their next party (on the 21st of January).

So, what was the party like?

The venue is a very nice, well appointed unit in Artarmon, which is easy to get to, with plenty of parking available near by. There is a balcony available for smokers, plenty of food and drink and a relaxed and very positive, not sleazy at all atmosphere.

Sweet Sybian hosts Paul and Fleur are great.  They are really relaxed, considerate people, who look after their guest.  They gave a detailed demonstration (yes, a real demonstration by Fleur) of the Sybian to all guests before we were invited to try out the Sybian for ourselves.  This made setup and operation for each couple easy (and of course Fleur and Paul provided assistance if required).

Each machine is set up in its own room, with a bathroom available to each, so you can have complete privacy while you try it out.  If however you are more adventurous (as many couples were that night), you can leave the door open when you play with the Sybian to allow other couples to watch.

Each couple were given two half hour sessions with one of the two Sybians, let me just say that once you got set up and going, the time flew by!  You could spend a serious amount of time with one of these things.

Possibly the most important thing to know is that the machine itself (like any toy) takes time to get used to.  It has a lot of different covers (penetrating, or not, large, small, g-spot, deep, not deep).  You can adjust the height of the unit (low down, or up on a higher stand).  And you can adjust a component that causes more or less clitoral stimulation.

So be prepared to spend some time (and even a few sessions even) really getting to know how to set up a Sybian for yourself so that it gives you the maximum amount of pleasure.

Like with any sex toy thought there may be some women for whom the Sybian just doesn’t do it, but honestly, don’t let that worry stop you.  Even if it’s not the best sex toy for you, you would still have had fun on Friday night.

That said, once you have it set up, then the results can be really spectacular.  There were a lot of very happy ladies there at the end of the night!

Which brings me to another point. I think that one of the reasons that the party was so much fun was that the whole reason for everyone being there was the women and their pleasure. Not about their male partners.  All of us men were involved (and had a great time), but every single one of us was there not to please ourselves, but to do everything that we could to give our partners the best time possible.

For me, as someone who really cares about women, their pleasure, and their comfort, I can honestly say that the people who seem to be attracted to Sweet Sybian Sydney are thoughtful and considerate, open and easy to talk to and last but not least: really sexy.

That’s not to say that everyone was a super model, far from it, there was a full range of body types and ages. But I have always maintained that “sexy” is all about your mind, and the people I met on Friday night, possibly because of the comfortable, accepting, and open atmosphere, were all really, really sexy.

So, Sweet Sybian Sydney.  Just do it! It’s fun and safe, and even if you are nervous about being there in a group, I say it’s worth pushing yourself out of your comfort zone as it is an opportunity to experience something that you are unlikely to find anywhere else!

John.

Donations sought to support sexual services for the disabled

Having had a number of dates now with women who I have met via the organisation People With Disbilities I would like to go a step further and make my service more affordable to these clients.

To this end my partner suggested that I ask for donations from you, my readers to a fund that would go toward reducing the price of my service for clients who have a serious disability.

  • I am seeking donations of any size (even a dollar is fine!)
  • From anyone who cares to donate, be they individuals, or organisations
  • You can make a donation in person, or to my bank account
  • All donation will be kept anonymous (unless you ask me otherwise)
  • All donations will be listed on my Donations page
  • All distributions of donated money will be listed anonymously on the donations page
  • Donations will be used to reduce the cost of my services by two thirds to people with serious disabilites
  • Donations will be distributed as soon as they reach a level that allows the next person on the list to recieve a discount, so my first target is $250

To donate or to register to recieve a reduced cost for my services:

I have started the fund off with a donation from myself and my partner of $100.  That means that we just need another $150 to reach the first goal and give someone who really deserves it the Christmas present of, well, me! So, drop me a line, or send me a text and give a few dollars.  As worthy causes go, it is one that very few people even know of, let alone care about.  People with disabilites deserve the oportunity to experience their sexuality, just like the rest of us!

John.

Xplore Sydney – the festival of the art of lust

While browsing the web last week I came across the website of the Xplore Sydney Festival.

http://sydney.xplore-festival.com

From the home page of the Xplore site …

Xplore is a three-day event on creative sexuality, BDSM, tantra, ritual and other body practices. Delve into new found pleasures by joining us.

Xplore has its origin in Berlin in 2004. For the first time Xplore will take place in another city: the city of Sydney.”

A lot of people ask me what is the strangest request I have ever had working as a male escort.  Surprisingly the answer is not very strange.  Most people just want good basic sex.

If however you are interested in trying something different (and I have found that a growing number of women are!), indulging a fantasy, stepping outside of your comfort zone and exploring your sexuality further, then I can definitely help.  I have experience in bondage and discipline, role-playing and more.

However, it’s always good to broaden one’s knowledge.  So Xplore Sydney looks like a good opportunity to spend time with people more experienced than I am in a wide range of sexual modes.  Some of the workshops that caught my eye include:

  • BDSM & the Conscious Body
  • Creating a BDSM scene
  • Dressing for Pleasure
  • Electrosex
  • Ethical Sluthood: foundations of nontraditional lifestyles
  • Intellectual Bondage
  • Naked Yoga
  • Playfight
  • Resistance Play
  • Rituals of Intimacy
  • Sensual Dominance and Submission
  • Sluthood Intensive: a place to brainstorm your most challenging poly issues
  • Switching
  • The Dancing Whip: Flogging in Movement
  • The Novice Orgy

There’s a full list on the Xplore website.

Now a lot of this stuff will not be to everyone’s taste, but that’s really the point.  As a male escort for women, I see my job as being the person you can come to when you are ready to explore something new. As such Xplore Sydney provides an opportunity to step outside some boundaries in a safe and comfortable environment.

The organisers tell me that they will be releasing full details of the festival by the end of the year, so I will be checking back in due course to find out about cost and availability.

If you would be interested in attending Xplore Sydney with me (free of charge), please let me know. It would be good to be able to go along with someone and have another viewpoint on the workshop.

It looks like they are also going to have a very interesting after party!

John

Sex in relationships

If you keep an eye on sexuality related trivia like I do, then you may have noticed a few months ago that a French woman successfully sued her husband (and was awarded AUD$13,500 in damages) because he failed to fulfill his duty as a husband to provide sex to his wife during their marriage.

http://www.smh.com.au/world/strangebuttrue/husband-ordered-to-pay-wife-for-lack-of-sex-20111130-1o5oj.html

The husband appealed the decision and lost.  The ruling and the damages stand.

When I first read about this I was amazed.  This sort of situation is very familar to me (as is the reverse).  But the French legal system has potentially just set a precident that has absolutely huge implications, at least in their own country.

The first thing that comes to mind is: this opens the flood gates for men, unsatisfied with their sex lives to sue their wives for damages.  The second is: what about our right as individuals to say “no”?

The more you pick at this issue the more complex it gets, and I expect that in the short term at least, only the lawyers are going to win from it.

What I do see though is that this ruling (in France at least) puts a spotlight on our relationships and how we treat each other sexually.  I recently made a post offering a Master Class in giving great oral sex to women and I think that this court case confirms my thinking.  Guys: we need to put a lot more effort into pleasing our partners (and being able to give great oral sex is a much appreciated skill).  And it’s not hard to do.  Yes it takes effort and a little thought, but honestly it’s not that hard.

What you need is:

  1. To understand you partner and your own sexuality (what you each like, what you don’t like, what turns you on, what satisfies you)
  2. A few specific skills (how to give oral sex, how give your partner an orgasm, what she likes when it comes time to have penetrative sex)
  3. A plan that delivers what each of you need and want

I have had occassion to discuss these issues with women and couples and often it is relatively easy to find ways to help overcome the hurdles.  A little bit of understanding, a little bit of effort and flexibility can transform the situation.

I am not a sex therapist, or medial professional, but I do have a lot of real world experience, that I am able to share.  I also have the big advantage as a sex worker over a health professional that I am ethically able to demonstrate and directly teach men and women the physical techniques that I use and know.

So, here’s an open invitation to men, women, and couples.  Do you want to improve your sex life?  If you do, then contact me; post a comment below, send me an email, or give me a call and we can talk about what might work for you.  If you don’t think that your partner would want to be involved, don’t worry, we can still talk and find solutions that you can implement on your own.

Lets keep the courts out of our bedrooms and start having better sex!

John.

Hold him to account

I normally try to keep my posts positive, but I think that it is worth making a statement about the radio presenter Kyle Sandilands, who has been behaving very badly (again) of late.

Plenty of people in the press have dissected his behavior, so I don’t need to do it here.

As someone who often sees the results of emotional abuse of women by men I say that it is time for men to step up and tell their badly behaved mates “no, it’s not ok to treat women this way”.

I was raised by my parents to “never hit a girl”.  When I was young I took that rule at face value, but as I grew up I realised that there is a much wider meaning.  That is … when you are stronger, or more powerful than someone else, you have a responsibility to use that power if a wise and fair way.  You don’t abuse it.

Kyle Sandilands is given enormous power by his employers and sponsors.  Sadly his parents don’t seem to have taught him the lesson “not to hit girls”.  Which brings us to the dubious morality of his employers and sponsors.

If anything good can come of Kyle Sandilands’ abuse of women it’s that our society realises that we don’t want and shouldn’t reward attitudes like his.

John.