Netflix recently released season two of the animated television series Arcane. It may not be to your taste as it is based on the computer game League of Legends, however it absolutely transcends those origins. It has truly excellent story telling, in a detailed world, with complex compelling characters who grow and change throughout the story.

It really is a remarkable achievement in these days of risk averse studios and writing/editing by committee.

I came across this quote while watching the last episode of season two from one of the main characters:

“We build our own prisons.  Bars forged of oaths, codes, and commitments.  Walls of self doubt and accepted limitation.  We inhabit these cells, these identities, and call them ‘us’.”

Silco – Arcane, Season 2, Episode 8

This quote really touched me. In context it was extremely powerful, exposing the inner conflict of one of the protagonists. But it also well describes the lives that many of us live – lives that we may mistakenly interpret as being representative of who we literally are.

But we are not these things. Our oaths, codes, and commitments are choices that we make, often without understanding their significance, or how they will effect us. Self doubt and the failure to imagine that we can be more, do more, keep us tied to lives that may ultimately be unrewarding or unhappy.

However – all it takes to change our lives and to discover who we are is to examine those things and to question the assumptions that they are built on.

I have re-invented my life and my career many times in my life. Mostly it has been through necessity. Sometimes through curiosity and choice. Every time it was more or less difficult and scary. But I have learned a lot about myself in that time buy examining my failures and my successes and searching for what brought actual happiness to me through all of that. 

I know: that I can adapt. That I can work hard. That I can find solutions when things get difficult.

Most of all though I have discovered that who I am – “me” – is not about money, or status, or what I own. What really matters – what is really the heart of “me” is freedom, creativity, building, creating, learning, and challenging myself.

What I know is that when my life is arranged in such a way that I can pursue those things then I can be happy and fulfilled.

I often meet women who are living in a situation where their relationships or their lives don’t bring them the intimacy and physical pleasure that they want and need. Taking the step of visiting a male escort like myself to fill that need may bring you up against the “bars” and “walls” of Silco’s quote. And they are certainly difficult to move past. But if we can start to identify them – question them, then we are one step closer to stepping past them and creating the life that we really want to lead.

John

So here we are – it’s 2025! And I find myself having Chinese food for dinner in Narrandera in Southern NSW, where I’m staying overnight before picking up a tractor that I have just bought, and I’ve gotten to thinking about the year ahead…

Now the world may not have the certainty that we would like, but this year, like every year, will be what we make of it. I’m not one for “new years resolution” as such, but I do like to think about priorities and goals for the new year.

So the things that I have in mind this year…

I definitely want to do more photography. I have some travel with clients coming up this year, so I’m looking forward to more wildlife and northern lights photos. But I’d also like to take more photos here in Australia, be that self portraits (building on this!). Birds and other wildlife – I’d really like to take more photos of our native animals and birds especially. That will fit in well with my next point below as well as landscape images. Photography has been and is a big part of my life and my identity and I haven’t been making enough time for it, which I plan to change this year.

Touring within Australia. While I love overseas travel there is so, SO much to see here in Australia. Back in February 2020 I spent five days at Lake Mungo in south west New South Wales. It was an amazing experience and one that I really want to repeat (both there and other places). 

When I drove back from Victoria after Christmas I took a more inland route (via Narrandera). It was a fantastic drive – no pressure to be anywhere and an opportunity to see a part of the country that I haven’t seen before. I would have liked to take more time to explore the Murray and Murrumbigee Rivers. 

My car is currently having “work done”, but once I have it back I will be able to travel in more remote and rough places more easily, as well as camping rather than having to stay in motels. So that will give me more opportunities to do photography which I really look forward to. 

Film making. This one is harder, as film making – especially the erotic kind – is difficult to do on your own (although I do have at least one idea in that regard!). I am going to keep thinking about it though and hopefully opportunities may present themselves this year.

Scuba diving. I haven’t been in the water diving in over a year. I had a couple of incidents with claustrophobia the last time I went diving (at Lord Howe Island) that put me off it a bit, but I think that it’s time for me to get back in the water and put that behind me. It’s very much a matter of mindfulness and relaxation, not letting the situation overpower me. I know that I can do it and more practice will help with that. I also really want to see cool underwater stuff! I have a friend who wants to get his diving certificate, so I might have a talk with him about it and see if we can do some diving together. Having a good diving buddy makes it a lot easier and safer.

Diving is also a chance for both photography and film making and I would really like to do more of that. Underwater photography is a very challenging form of the art that I would like to work on and improve my skills in.

So there are a few things that will be on my list this year! I hope you have fun and productive things on your list too – who knows, you might even decide to include me on your list! And if you do I promise to do my very best to make it a fantastic experience.

John