Welcome

Featured

I am John Oh, straight male escort for women.  I live in Sydney, Australia and work in Sydney, Canberra, and Melbourne.

john_on_the_rocksI am one of Sydney’s most experienced male escorts for women and offer a service that I believe is second to none.

Book a date with me to experience the luxury of personal intimate attention.  From relaxing talk with a glass of wine, to a meal cooked to order, erotic massage, and of course intense and satisfying sex.

If you would like to see photos of me, please see my photos page.

If you would like to chat with me you can drop me an email, send me a text, or give me a call.  I am also happy to chat by Skype if you would like to get to know me better.

John.

Touring and travel
I have a number of longer overseas trips happening this year, so my regular Melbourne tours are on hold.  I am still available by request thoughI am available to make up to four longer trips each year (five days or more).  All of my longer trips for 2018 are booked, my first available spot for a trip is August / September and October / November in 2019.  If you would like to secure these times, please let me know.  I can also take bookings for 2020 if you are planning your travel well ahead and would like me to accompany you.

Melbourne By request
Canberra By request
Adelaide By request

Sex and bullying

It is not an overstatement, I believe, to say that for many of us, society often bullies us out of having the sex that we want to have.

My memories of my late teens and twenties was of profound curiosity about sex. Granted, it was a relatively shallow, mostly hetero curiosity – but we can only be curious about the things that we know exist, so I don’t beat myself up about that. If society refuses to educate you, then ignorance isn’t your fault. Just your challenge to overcome.

As a sex worker, I am exposed to a far wider variety of sexualities than I ever was growing up. It’s something that I am very grateful for. Even though I have no interest in and get no arousal from most of them, it has made me a more worldly and (most important) tolerant person.

I would derive no pleasure from ball busting. And have no interest in sex with another man. But I FULLY support the rights of other people to indulge in those things – even if just the thought of some of them makes my eyes water!

So it’s saddening to look around at society and see so much judgement by people of others just because of what turns them on.

It’s frankly disgusting that people think it’s ok to police other people’s consensual pleasure.

This of course dovetails neatly with sex work. I love my job. My clients enjoy a service that fills a need in their lives that they cannot satisfy another way.

But always there are people braying on about how all sex work is exploitation, or abuse, or immoral. They seek to police what two (or more) consenting adults can do together in private, with no more authority than saying “I think this, so you must obey me”.

It is the most shallow of thinking and the most self-indulgent kind of activism that, while denying sex workers their autonomy and livelihood also tries to bully clients of sex workers into doubting themselves and the things they feel they need to make themselves whole.

John.

“Virginity” and having sex for the first time – ShortTakes

Having sex for the first time is rarely not a “big thing”.  For some people though it can become a huge thing in their lives.  Sex workers though, are here to help.  In this series of ShortTakes I talk about how being left behind sexually can impact a person’s life – and how sex workers can help set things right.

We are here to help and we understand just how hard it can be getting over that hurdle of having sex for the first time!

Continue reading

Fight Club, art, and meaning

I re-watched the film Fight Club by David Fincher recently. I did so because of a comment I heard about Fight Club being a “satire of toxic masculinity”. This didn’t resonate with me and I needed to take another look. It’s easy to dismiss new ideas and interpretations of art – especially if it’s art that you love – and to be fair I do like Fight Club (both the movie and the original book by Chuck Palahniuk).

But is it still relevant in this age of #meToo and calling out bad male behaviour?

Some art does not age well. Enquiring minds (well mine anyway) would like to know if this is the case with Fight Club…

WARNING – spoilers ahead. If you haven’t watched Fight Club, then do so BEFORE you read this. I will most likely reveal major plot points below. You have been warned.

I also discuss the TV series Sense8 and Mr Robot and may spoil them too, so…

Lets be clear, movies are art – as are paintings, music, advertising etc. Any media designed to communicate is some form of art. It may be “commercial” art, like advertising, but it still has aesthetic qualities and purpose, from which we derive meaning.

So I’m prefacing this discussion by saying that yes a movie is art and as such has to be interpreted through that lens (no pun intended). Why does that matter? Firstly, because interpretation is personal and contextual. Ultimately there isn’t any “right” or “wrong” to interpretation. There’s just meaning to whomever is viewing the piece.

There is a scene in the Christmas Special episode of the TV series Sense8 that describes this better than I ever will (BTW – if you haven’t watched Sense8, you really should – if for no other reason than it features some of the best produced and directed sex scenes you will ever see on screen).

In the scene, the character Lito’s secret boyfriend Hernando Fuentes, a university art professor, is teaching a class, when photographs of him and Lito having sex are made public on the internet and his class finds them. The quote below was written by Nivea Serrao in this article:

https://ew.com/recap/sense8-a-christmas-special/

A student says: “Is this art, Mr. Fuentes?” before calling it porn.

Ever the consummate professional, Hernando turns this into a teaching moment. He points out viewers will always see what they want to see – if you consider this porn, you’re looking for this to be porn…which, in turn, says a lot about you. He ends the lecture declaring, “Art is love made public.”

So what do we see in Fight Club? What do I see in Fight Club?

Re-watching this movie, I was struck a new by the overt and graphic violence. It’s absolutely visceral. And not at all unexpected from David Fincher (the creator of movies like Se7en and The Girl With The Dragon Tatto). I can well imagine (channeling Hernando here) that people could look at that graphic violence as toxic masculinity. And lets be honest, violence by men, especially against women is a real problem in our society, so a movie that appears to celebrate seemingly pointless violence is going to press a lot of peoples’ buttons, with good reason.

I personally though, feel this is a shallow reading of the movie. There is more to see in this movie than the eponymous “fight club”.

The most blatantly obvious is the movies criticism of modern consumer culture and the “wage slavery” that is required to satisfy it. Back in the year 2000 when Fight Club was released we weren’t talking about these things nearly as much as we are now. These days the perils of consumer culture and the debt trap that rules so many of our lives are widely understood – and sadly still seen as virtually obligatory. So what we may now dismiss as obvious in Fight Club, was at its release a more relevant and important statement (than it is now).

What some might see as toxic male behaviour (the fighting and violence) others can view as a repudiation of consumer culture that requires conformity and infers status through wealth and possessions. The fighting is ludicrous and over the top in its excess, but that simply serves to further highlight how awful and soul crushing the world of the narrator “Ikea Boy” is – that fighting is better than the living death of corporate life.

Tyler Durden, his masculinity, and his rejection of the safe, conformist world that we are pushed into is meant to make us look at ourselves and how we live – that is, as passive consumers and employees. Not look at him – because his hyper masculinity is absurd.

The fighting, the violence, the tribalism of Fight Club and Project Mayhem is a tool to set people free. It calls attention to what we refuse to look at about our lives by going to an opposite extreme.

Durden wants to “reset” everything. He wants to clear the debt that locks people up and stops them from experiencing the true pleasures of being human. He wants people to actually know what matters to them, what they really value and to pursue that instead of things we are told we need by people who want to make money from us:

“Tyler Durden: Guys, what would you wish you’d done before you died? [while driving on a highway and allowing the car to drift into oncoming traffic]
Ricky: Paint a self-portrait!
The Mechanic: Build a house!
Tyler Durden: [to Narrator] And you?
Narrator: I don’t know. Turn the wheel now, come on!
Tyler Durden: You have to know the answer to this question! If you died right now, how would you feel about your life?
Narrator: I don’t know, I wouldn’t feel anything good about my life, is that what you want to hear me say? Fine. Come on!
Tyler Durden: Not good enough.”

The Narrator hasn’t truly let go. Despite the fighting. Despite the rejection of his work and responsibilities, he still hasn’t embraced his true self (as embodied literally by Tyler Durden):

“Tyler: All the ways you wish you could be, that’s me.
I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.”

As an aside here – this quote has become a favourite among sex workers.  It speaks to us, as a group who mostly live and work outside of “acceptable” society and are therefore no longer constrained by it in the ways that the average person is.

The fighting is a literal depiction of the internal struggle of the main character to break free from the bondage of work/debt/consumption.

So, to come full circle – you can watch Fight Club and see a satire on toxic masculinity, but that would in my opinion be a trivialisation of what I believe is the more obvious and – at the time of its creation – more relevant message.

As was pointed out to me – Fight Club has the exact same premise and twist as the very recent show Mr Robot (even down to the main characters’ mental health problems). And despite the violence of that story, no-one is calling Mr Robot a satire on toxic masculinity. The artistic tools that Fincher uses (of exaggeration and shock) in Fight Club are just another way to grab our attention and – like Tyler pouring lye on The Narrator’s hand and making him accept and submit to the pain of the chemical burn – make us stop denying the reality of consumer culture and the harm that it causes.

Good art transcends its original context. When Fight Club was made society at large wasn’t having the conversation that we are now about “toxic masculinity” – the term didn’t even exist and call out culture wasn’t a thing. But the fact that this movie can still be viewed today and spark debate about its meaning and message without looking hopelessly archaic and naive is a testimony to it’s quality as “art”.

John.

Kangaroo Island

To the South of Adelaide in South Australia lies Kangaroo Island. Small and green, it looks out to the Southern Ocean. It may not seem like the ideal place for a holiday in the dying days of winter, but a client recently convinced me that it would be a fun place to visit. We spent four nights there, staying near the centre of the island, and each day we drove one way or another and explored Kangaroo Island’s often breathtaking beauty.

It was a truly beautiful place to visit and a fun trip.

You can get to Kangaroo Island by car, on a ferry, which makes a few trips per day, or (as we did), you can fly there from Adelaide if you are more pressed for time.

I didn’t think that we would be able to fill five days, but (if you have a car) you can comfortably see two sites per day – and there are easily more than ten places to go!

  • Two different light houses
  • An open range koala park
  • A general wildlife zoo (not my favourite as I don’t much like things in cages)
  • A raptor zoo
  • Tall sand dunes (which you can “sand board” on)
  • Horse riding
  • Lots of wilderness hiking
  • Seal, dolphin, and whale watching tours by boat
  • Scuba diving
  • Wineries

This isn’t an exhaustive list by any means, but I think it gives you an idea of just how much there is to do on Kangaroo Island.

It’s a beautiful place and – if you are lucky like we were – is even great fun to visit during winter – but you definitely need to bring your warm clothing!

If you know me at all, then you know that I always travel with a camera (or three).  And Kangaroo Island is a photographers dream.  Here are just a handful of the photos that I took during the trip…

Red Banks headland looking east to the mainland
Red Banks headland looking east to the mainland
Red Banks headland, looking west as the sun sets
Red Banks headland, looking west as the sun sets
The sun sets over Kangaroo Island, from Red Banks headland
The sun sets over Kangaroo Island, from Red Banks headland
Full moon rises...
Full moon rises…
AKangaroo Island Kangaroo
Kangaroo Island kangaroos are their own sub-species. They are darker coloured, have thicker coats, and are more hunched
A wombat
Wombats are common on Kangaroo Island
An echidna
The echidnas on Kangaroo Island are more pale than their mainland counterparts and have more hair to keep them warm as well
A blue faced honeyeater
A blue faced honeyeater
A small bay and breakwater
A launching place on the Bay of Shoals, north of Kingscote
Australian pelicans standing in shallow water
Australian pelicans at dusk on the Bay of Shoals
Pelican Lagoon, Kangaroo Island
Evening mist over Pelican Lagoon
Sea lion mother nursing her pup
A sea lion mother nursing her pup in the dunes above Seal Bay
Sea lion pup and terns
An older seal lion pup watched terns land on the beach
Southern right whale skeleton
Southern right whale skeleton in the sand dunes behind Seal Bay
New Zealand fur seal pup sleeping
New Zealand fur seal pup sleeping
A pelican
A lone pelican beside the Bay of Shoals
The light house at Admirals Arch
The light house at Admirals Arch in Flinders National Park
Sunrise over Pelican Lagoon
Sunrise over Pelican Lagoon
Cape Willoughby Light house
Approaching the Cape Willoughby Light house…
Southern right whale tail
A southern right whale slides back beneath the waves…
Pelican face
Here’s looking at you!

John.

I’m sorry I’ve been away – and how cool is it to be free to buy sex?

Those of you who visit my website regularly my be disappointed that I haven’t been posting here very much recently.  For that, I am sorry.  I intend to do better in the future!

To be honest, I have been distracted from writing for this site by a lot of things.  Traveling with clients for longer bookings has become a large part of my business.  I have also been dedicating some of my free time to photography and film making pursuits.  And most recently I have been spending time working on a series of daily short films about sex work advocacy.  It’s a topic that is very important to me and has become more so in recent times.

So all of these things have combined to leave precious little time and mental energy for writing these blog posts.  I intend to redress that balance and post more regularly.

Apropos my advocacy short films, we are living in strange times for sex worker, sex workers, and our clients.  Around the world regimes like the US, France, Canada, and others have been becoming more conservative about sex work, cracking down on it in the name of protecting workers (ironic I know) and fighting human trafficking (disingenuous at best).

Here in Australia generally, and New South Wales in particular we are incredibly lucky.  For reasons I can only partly explain, Australian politicians have become some of the most forward thinking in the world (along with our friends in New Zealand).  They have, for the most part, allowed sex workers and our clients to go about our business without judgement or interference (apart from South Australia where it is still illegal to sell sex and Queensland where, while legal, workers are harassed by police routinely).

I can’t express how important this is to women and to the industry of men like myself providing sex work services to women.  It’s a cliche that “men see sex workers”.  It’s something that society (sort of) accepts and generally turns a blind eye to – but definitely frowns upon.  But the idea of women seeing sex workers is still a “fresh” and controversial one.  To confirm that, just take a look at the tone of articles in the main stream media about the subject (it comes up semi regularly).  It’s usually somewhat breathless and lauds women paying for sex as leaders and ground breaking.  Which to some degree is true at the individual level – but the industry is well established and it’s really time that the conversation moved on from “Wow! She paid for sex…”.

For women in Australia and New Zealand, paying for sex is something they can choose to do at least without having to fear that they are breaking the law.  There are multiple reasons that some (most?) men may not be put off by barriers of legality, but I get the feeling that this is a bigger barrier for women.  So I am grateful that I live and work in a society that has removed another barrier from equality (or at least equal accessibility to sex work) for women.

As a result more and more women are choosing to explore their sexuality with sex workers (male and female).  A week doesn’t go by that I hear someone lament the failure that is “online dating”.  Tinder et al promised egalitarian access to sex for women, but in reality have just become deserts of bad male behaviour, even accentuating some of the worst traits.  Sex workers by contrast are a safe and convenient way to explore and learn when someone isn’t actively looking for a partner, or has a specific need to fill.

In recent times I have noticed and increase in the number of women looking for lessons on sexual techniques, like kissing, giving oral sex, erotic massage, and more.  This may be younger women with less experience wanting to improve their skills for potential partners – or older women, already in relationships who want to add some spice, or just be better lovers for their partners.

I think that it is fantastic that women are taking control of their sexuality, not just for personal pleasure, but as a means of improving their relationships.  Once again, sex work is showing that women not only love sex, but are perhaps *more* prepared than men to explore its possibilities.  I regularly hear clients say “I wish I could bring my husband to you to learn how to give oral”.

Well men – it’s time you lifted your game.  Your partners are out here, putting themselves out to learn how to give you better oral.  It’s time you returned the favour!  I can teach any man to give better oral sex.  To express more passion.  To be a better lover.

So while other countries are busy alternately deifying and vilifying sex and ultimately just leaving their citizens confused and unhappy about their sexuality, Australia and New Zealand are simply moving forward, making sexuality just another part of our lives.  Something to be respected, but also savored.

Thank you Australia.  I am lucky to live – and work – here.

Full moon – blood moon…

Last weekend I accompanied a client on a trip to a wildlife rescue centre near Canberra. On Saturday morning – around 4.30am we abandoned a nice warm bed to view the 2018 July Lunar Eclipse – you might have heard something about a “blood moon” – well that was it!

You can read more here if you are interested in the technical details of this lunar eclipse…

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/July_2018_lunar_eclipse

It’s hard to describe the strange beauty of seeing the full moon slowly, slowly eaten away by the earth’s shadow. Fading away from its silver brightness to a dull orange/red.

It was a humbling experience – a demonstration from nature of just how tiny we are – which I think, is a good thing to be reminded of occasionally.

I didn’t have the appropriate camera gear with me to take a good quality photo of the blood moon, but I did take a shot with my phone. You can see the moon bottom right with Mars in the background naming an appearance!

And another larger view. You can see the red colour bleeding into the face of the moon from the right as the shadow deepened.

John.

Sex work and disability – a short video series

I have recently started posting a daily micro video blog to Twitter. This is the first series that I made and posted.

If you have a sex work topic that you would like to see me talk about, please feel free to let me know in a comment, email, or tweet.

John.