Several years ago (back in 2018) I made a series of short films discussing sex work and the various legal, ethical, and practical issues surrounding it. For a number of reasons I ended up taking those films down, but I think it’s time that they received another airing.
So for the next few few months I will be publishing them on YouTube and linking them here on my blog. They will also be collated on my Sex work ShortTakes page
Hopefully you will find them interesting and informative.
I haven’t made any new films recently – so if there is a topic that I haven’t already covered that you would like to hear about please feel free to drop me a comment about it and I’ll see what I can do.
Many years ago I came across a photographer who took amazing self portraits. I’ve always thought “I could do that too”. But you know how things go. Life is busy, bills need to be paid, work gets in the way of the creative process…
In short, I never really made the time.
Until today. I pulled out the trusty Canon 1DXii with my favourite lens, popped it on the tripod, connected the remote shutter/interval timer and took some photos.
Well. I wasn’t really expecting too much from this first real foray into self portraiture. It’s a difficult thing to do as you have no direction, no way to frame and preview the shot, you have to visualise the pose and how it will look, then enact it. So much to think about and play with that would be so much easier if someone else was taking the photo…
But I was honestly very pleasantly surprised! I think this is one of the best photos that I have ever taken. But I’ll let you be the judge.
Clothing is possibly one of the most significant social influences in our societies. You can be openly gay, or atheist or religious, or socialist, or conservative in public and it’s all acceptable (in Australia at least) – protected even. But you can’t be naked in public.
France Keyser for The New York Times
Think about that.
Intentional nudity in public is literally illegal, while espousing extreme political or religious views is not.
I will add at this point that:
“It’s not an offence to be naked in public in England and Wales but it does become an offence if it can be proved the person stripped off with the intention to upset and shock. The complainant has to prove this.”
This is more than a little surprising for a relatively conservative society, so well done them. It’s not without it’s problems though as Stephen Gough “The Naked Rambler” has discovered. He has walked from Lands End to John O’Groats twice – naked. In doing so he’s been arrested and even jailed multiple time. So it’s an imperfect law, imperfectly applied.
Anyway, all of that, I think, goes to the main point here. Nudity is a central taboo in the vast majority of our societies – even when it is literally legal.
I was recently sent a link to an article (thank you Denise):
about an exhibition at the Museum of the Civilizations of Europe and the Mediterranean in France dedicated to the history of social nudity. On five nights during its run the visitors are all naked.
We could look at this as a marketing stunt, but I see something else here.
I have had the experience on several occasions in my life to be lounging around with a mixed group of people, naked. Here’s what I have observed:
Loud people become less loud. Quiet people speak up. Social pressures seem to evaporate. There is much more of a sense of equality. People seem to be more respectful of each other.
So I can absolutely see how interacting with a sociological study of nudity with a group of naked people would give a different experience – and perhaps insight into – “naturalism” and nudity in public.
Clothing lets us project an image. Clothing is a mask that we wear to make a statement – to project authority, sexuality (ironically), demonstrate status, wealth, or “piety”, and many other things. It has practical applications for protection of course but even when practicality isn’t an issue we still choose to wear clothes.
Nudity takes away much of our ability to project an image to those around us and while being naked all of the time is impractical, I do think that as a society we would benefit from the humility that I observe comes with nudity.
I was recently invited to participate in the Curveball Podcast (run by Beth Armstrong) with two other straight male sex workers.
We met up today in Sydney at their recording studio and spent a few hours talking about the industry, our experiences, and more. It was a fun interview and great to spend a bit of time with some peers who are just as passionate and dedicated to the industry and the work as I am.
It will be a while before it’s edited and released, but I’ll be sure to post a link when it’s ready!
So I was doing some work with my truck the other day and as I was walking past the back of the tray one of my gloves caught on a protrusion and RIP! The stitches along the side just pulled straight out.
Now I usually get a good three to four months out of a pair of gloves, even when I’m spending a lot of time on my machines. This pair I only pulled out of my reserve two weeks ago! So I am seriously disappointed to have ripped on open.
Now I’m not going to talk about how everything these days is poorly made and doesn’t last. That’s old news and I just grudgingly expect it.
Instead I’m going to talk about fixing thing and how much pleasure it gives me as opposed to buying something new.
Sorry, I can’t help myself, I am going to talk about!
In my life I have seen our economy and industry go from (mostly) trying to make things that were durable and did what they were meant to do, to making products that barely do their job and fail even before the warranty has expired. Disposable products not intended to last let alone be fixed!
I frankly find it disgusting. Why shouldn’t furnature – if it’s looked after – last literally forever? Why don’t we fix our fridges and washing machines? I still remember my mother and her sister-in-law taking an old dining room setting and restoring the chairs, replacing the upholstery on the seats. Then recovering a pair of arm chairs and a couch for the lounge.
They were all lovely pieces of furniture that despite needing new coverings every few decades can and should go on indefinitely. Yet take a drive around a suburb when it’s hard rubbish collection week and you will see piles of furnature being thrown away.
So while one pair of gloves doesn’t really mean anything in the scheme of things I will be pulling out the needle and thread to sew up the split seam so that I can continue using them until the leather finally wears through – which is the way that it should be. And that will make something deep inside of me very happy, despite it being trivial.
I get a lot of pleasure from fixing things and putting them back to work when other people simply throw them away. Another example is my chainsaw. It broke down due to a fuel issue and actually damaged the piston. The shop that services it told me it “wasn’t worth fixing”. They wanted me to buy a new $600 chainsaw. I discovered that I can buy the required replacement parts for $160 (thank you eBay) and about three hours work will see (an almost new) chainsaw put back to work probably for many years to come.
Not everyone can fix things. I’m lucky to have the tools and the skills to be able to do so. And I find the process of mending something broken rather than just buying a replacement extremely satisfying.
Anyone who has read at all deeply on this website knows that I am a strong supporter of sex worker rights and women’s rights.
As of Wednesday 6th of November 2024 the USA is facing another four years with Donald Trump and the right-wing of USA politics in charge of the country. And it is not going to be a good time for sex workers – or our clients.
Newsweek.com published an article on Nov 6th, 2024 with the following quote about “Project 2025”:
“Project 2025 makes it clear that they will be coming after porn under a First Amendment suit.
The introduction to the manifesto reads: “Pornography, manifested today in the omnipresent propagation of transgender ideology and sexualization of children, for instance, is not a political Gordian knot inextricably binding up disparate claims about free speech, property rights, sexual liberation, and child welfare. It has no claim to First Amendment protection.”
While this comment from the Project 2025 manifesto only mentions “pornography” we can be sure that these people won’t differentiate between “porn stars” and any other kind of sex work. They hate it all and will suppress and prosecute it all equally when they have the power to do so.
So firstly – to all of my USA sex working peers: please stay safe. I really hope that things don’t get as bad as they look like they could.
Secondly – this is a moment for sober reflection. Here in Australia we have the best, most rational, and permissive sex work laws in the world. We have them because for decades people faught for them. And there is the justifiable belief that once we have a right it won’t be taken away. But the USA has clearly demonstrated how that assumption is fundamentally incorrect.
Our rights are only safe for the current election cycle – and make no mistake, there are plenty of people and politicians in Australia who would leap at the chance to criminalise sex work once again and take us back to the bad old days where police brutalised sex workers and controlled politicians who used sex work services.
All it takes is moral panic and populist politics to tear down decades of incremental gains. Just look at the USA and their ending of Roe V wade. If it happened there, then it can happen here too. If you value your ability to read this blog – let alone actually make a booking to see me – then you need to support the rights of sex workers because minority rights are also your rights.
I was reminded recently that kissing is great and that we should do more of it – and that some people aren’t confident about kissing and so don’t really enjoy it.
Now I was going to write an article about it when I remembered that I have already written an article about kissing – way back in November of 2016 – almost eight years ago!
So, rather than re-inventing the wheel, I’ll just give you a taste (sorry!) and a link to the original.
“Kissing is cool. How cool? Really cool. Like make your entire day WAY better cool. I have been reminded of this fact twice recently when I was booked to give a Kissing Lesson – yes, seriously, that’s a thing that I can do for you.
Google “benefits of kissing” and you will find a wealth of research and explanations about the effects and benefits of kissing – like boosting seratonin, decreasing cortisol, improving immunity, and much more. So we know for a fact that kissing is genuinely, measurably good for us.”
I can give you lessons in kissing and I can give you a safe, non-judgemental opportunity to practice kissing if you want to be better at kissing and enjoy it more.
Please note: I am not a doctor and this post does not constitute medical advice! Please talk to your doctor regarding any decisions to take of not take any medication.
This is a warning for woman who are prescribed the SNRI antidepressant Effexor. One of my clients, a woman 40’s was prescribed Effexor to help manage the symptoms of menopause including hot flushes and mood swings. Her GP didn’t feel that HRT was appropriate, so she prescribed and antidepressant instead.
The manufacturer had studies that showed that it was effective for the symptoms that my client was experiencing. Her GP didn’t tell her what the pottential side effects were.
This client has been seeing me monthly for over eight years now and she never has any trouble reaching orgasm from masturbation or from oral sex. However, within *three days* of starting to take Effexor she lost her ability to reach orgasm through any means!
Now, not everyone responds to a particular drug the same way, so if you are considering taking it then you may not have the same experience. Even if you do find that it has the same effect, it has to be weighed against whatever benefits it may give.
So you need to make the best decision for you and your mental and physical health. I just want women to be aware that this potential side effect exists so that they are not caught out by it unexpectedly and can make better informed health decisions.
Many women who come to see me are doing so in search of, or needing something beyond just the enjoyment of sex. I received this email recently from a woman who is on her own journey through talk therapy and now physical exploration with me as well.
Hi John,
My psychologist said my root causes are emotion deprivation and abandonment, and the corresponding behavior is control. Be weighted on [feeling your weight on me] is also a good way to feel safe and connected.
E
I am sharing it (with permission) because I know that there are women out there who, like E, want to have a safe, consensual sexual experience, to try to improve their lives and their enjoyment of sex but just don’t know how to get it. And if they are contemplating seeing a sex worker like me then many women don’t know where to start or what they can tell me.
I have been providing a safe and respectful service to women for over fourteen years now and the answer is that you are always welcome to drop me an email and start a conversation. You don’t need to tell me everything straight away, but you are always welcome to share what you feel is important and that will help us to give you the experience that you want to have.
I’m not judgemental and will always put your safety, pleasure, and wellbeing first
My diary is filling up fast for the rest of the year – but I just happen to have a Saturday available due to a booking being moved, that is November 2nd.
If you have been thinking about making a booking soon with me and a Saturday is your preferred day then this is a rare chance to get a Saturday night date on short notice! Drop me an email, or text, or give me a call.
