Author Archives: John

Something that I get disproportionate satisfaction from

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So I was doing some work with my truck the other day and as I was walking past the back of the tray one of my gloves caught on a protrusion and RIP! The stitches along the side just pulled straight out.

Now I usually get a good three to four months out of a pair of gloves, even when I’m spending a lot of time on my machines. This pair I only pulled out of my reserve two weeks ago! So I am seriously disappointed to have ripped on open.

Now I’m not going to talk about how everything these days is poorly made and doesn’t last. That’s old news and I just grudgingly expect it.

Instead I’m going to talk about fixing thing and how much pleasure it gives me as opposed to buying something new. 

Sorry, I can’t help myself, I am going to talk about!

In my life I have seen our economy and industry go from (mostly) trying to make things that were durable and did what they were meant to do, to making products that barely do their job and fail even before the warranty has expired. Disposable products not intended to last let alone be fixed!

I frankly find it disgusting. Why shouldn’t furnature – if it’s looked after – last literally forever? Why don’t we fix our fridges and washing machines? I still remember my mother and her sister-in-law taking an old dining room setting and restoring the chairs, replacing the upholstery on the seats. Then recovering a pair of arm chairs and a couch for the lounge.

They were all lovely pieces of furniture that despite needing new coverings every few decades can and should go on indefinitely. Yet take a drive around a suburb when it’s hard rubbish collection week and you will see piles of furnature being thrown away.

So while one pair of gloves doesn’t really mean anything in the scheme of things I will be pulling out the needle and thread to sew up the split seam so that I can continue using them until the leather finally wears through – which is the way that it should be. And that will make something deep inside of me very happy, despite it being trivial.

I get a lot of pleasure from fixing things and putting them back to work when other people simply throw them away. Another example is my chainsaw. It broke down due to a fuel issue and actually damaged the piston. The shop that services it told me it “wasn’t worth fixing”. They wanted me to buy a new $600 chainsaw. I discovered that I can buy the required replacement parts for $160 (thank you eBay) and about three hours work will see (an almost new) chainsaw put back to work probably for many years to come.

Not everyone can fix things. I’m lucky to have the tools and the skills to be able to do so. And I find the process of mending something broken rather than just buying a replacement extremely satisfying.

John

A message of solidarity and sober reflection

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Anyone who has read at all deeply on this website knows that I am a strong supporter of sex worker rights and women’s rights.

As of Wednesday 6th of November 2024 the USA is facing another four years with Donald Trump and the right-wing of USA politics in charge of the country.  And it is not going to be a good time for sex workers – or our clients.

Newsweek.com published an article on Nov 6th, 2024 with the following quote about “Project 2025”:

“Project 2025 makes it clear that they will be coming after porn under a First Amendment suit.

The introduction to the manifesto reads: “Pornography, manifested today in the omnipresent propagation of transgender ideology and sexualization of children, for instance, is not a political Gordian knot inextricably binding up disparate claims about free speech, property rights, sexual liberation, and child welfare. It has no claim to First Amendment protection.”

https://www.newsweek.com/project-2025-porn-ban-trump-presidency-1981587

While this comment from the Project 2025 manifesto only mentions “pornography” we can be sure that these people won’t differentiate between “porn stars” and any other kind of sex work. They hate it all and will suppress and prosecute it all equally when they have the power to do so.

So firstly – to all of my USA sex working peers: please stay safe.  I really hope that things don’t get as bad as they look like they could.

Secondly – this is a moment for sober reflection.  Here in Australia we have the best, most rational, and permissive sex work laws in the world.  We have them because for decades people faught for them.  And there is the justifiable belief that once we have a right it won’t be taken away.  But the USA has clearly demonstrated how that assumption is fundamentally incorrect.  

Our rights are only safe for the current election cycle – and make no mistake, there are plenty of people and politicians in Australia who would leap at the chance to criminalise sex work once again and take us back to the bad old days where police brutalised sex workers and controlled politicians who used sex work services.

All it takes is moral panic and populist politics to tear down decades of incremental gains.  Just look at the USA and their ending of Roe V wade.  If it happened there, then it can happen here too.  If you value your ability to read this blog – let alone actually make a booking to see me – then you need to support the rights of sex workers because minority rights are also your rights.

John

Do you want to learn how to kiss?

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I was reminded recently that kissing is great and that we should do more of it – and that some people aren’t confident about kissing and so don’t really enjoy it.

Now I was going to write an article about it when I remembered that I have already written an article about kissing – way back in November of 2016 – almost eight years ago!

So, rather than re-inventing the wheel, I’ll just give you a taste (sorry!) and a lik to the original.

“Kissing is cool. How cool? Really cool. Like make your entire day WAY better cool. I have been reminded of this fact twice recently when I was booked to give a Kissing Lesson – yes, seriously, that’s a thing that I can do for you.

Google “benefits of kissing” and you will find a wealth of research and explanations about the effects and benefits of kissing – like boosting seratonin, decreasing cortisol, improving immunity, and much more. So we know for a fact that kissing is genuinely, measurably good for us.”

From: Kissing, sex, and conversation

I can give you lessons in kissing and I can give you a safe, non-judgemental opportunity to practice kissing if you want to be better at kissing and enjoy it more.

John

PSA – Effexor antidepressant side effect

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Please note: I am not a doctor and this post does not constitute medical advice! Please talk to your doctor regarding any decisions to take of not take any medication. 

This is a warning for woman who are prescribed the SNRI antidepressant Effexor. One of my clients, a woman 40’s was prescribed Effexor to help manage the symptoms of menopause including hot flushes and mood swings. Her GP didn’t feel that HRT was appropriate, so she prescribed and antidepressant instead.

The manufacturer had studies that showed that it was effective for the symptoms that my client was experiencing. Her GP didn’t tell her what the pottential side effects were.

This client has been seeing me monthly for over eight years now and she never has any trouble reaching orgasm from masturbation or from oral sex. However, within *three days* of starting to take Effexor she lost her ability to reach orgasm through any means!

Now, not everyone responds to a particular drug the same way, so if you are considering taking it then you may not have the same experience. Even if you do find that it has the same effect, it has to be weighed against whatever benefits it may give.

So you need to make the best decision for you and your mental and physical health. I just want women to be aware that this potential side effect exists so that they are not caught out by it unexpectedly and can make better informed health decisions.

John

It’s ok to need to work on things – and to ask me to help

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Many women who come to see me are doing so in search of, or needing something beyond just the enjoyment of sex. I received this email recently from a woman who is on her own journey through talk therapy and now physical exploration with me as well.

Hi John,

My psychologist said my root causes are emotion deprivation and abandonment, and the corresponding behavior is control.  Be weighted on [feeling your weight on me] is also a good way to feel safe and connected.

E

I am sharing it (with permission) because I know that there are women out there who, like E, want to have a safe, consensual sexual experience, to try to improve their lives and their enjoyment of sex but just don’t know how to get it. And if they are contemplating seeing a sex worker like me then many women don’t know where to start or what they can tell me.

I have been providing a safe and respectful service to women for over fourteen years now and the answer is that you are always welcome to drop me an email and start a conversation. You don’t need to tell me everything straight away, but you are always welcome to share what you feel is important and that will help us to give you the experience that you want to have.

I’m not judgemental and will always put your safety, pleasure, and wellbeing first

John

Saturday November 2nd availability

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My diary is filling up fast for the rest of the year – but I just happen to have a Saturday available due to a booking being moved, that is November 2nd.

If you have been thinking about making a booking soon with me and a Saturday is your preferred day then this is a rare chance to get a Saturday night date on short notice! Drop me an email, or text, or give me a call.

John

Erotica

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Sometimes it can be a challenge thinking of new things to write about and post here, so I thought I would expand my repertoire a little and start posting some erotica. So I have created a dedicated page for it.

There is currently one story there and if you think you might enjoy reading about some steamy sex then you could check it out – and just to be clear, this is absolutely NOT SAFE FOR WORK!

An Indecent Proposal – by John Oh

John

Why is online dating SO bad?

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At this point it’s a truism to say that online dating is a rolling dumpster fire. Everyone I know who has tried it has (regardless of success or failure) has said that it is awful and they hate it.

On its face online dating *should* work. It exposes us to people we would *never* otherwise have been able to meet – other than by highly unlikely random chance. And there in lies the first problem. Historically (thinking back to the middle of last century) we weren’t that mobile as a society. We tended to live and work in one place most of our lives, even over multiple generations. So the people we met day to day were mostly like us, sharing education, values, experiences etc. That’s not so true today. If you live in a big city like Sydney then you are going to be exposed to a lot more people from very different places with very different life experiences, values, education, and views.

What I have noticed (from living in small towns and big cities) is that in big cities people are far more insular than in small communities. When you live in a small town then everyone feels entitled to be a part of everyone else’s business and it’s difficult to be “private” and anonymous. In a big city however there is an assumption of privacy and anonymity. In my apartment building here in Sydney I literally have no idea who my neighbours are and rarely interact with them (and they change regularly) and are rarely interested in getting to know me. But the last small town I lived in the neighbours came and introduced themselves the day I moved in. The difference is real.

The problem with online dating is that it pierces that barrier of privacy that we assume for ourselves and brings right into our life people who are in absolutely no way “pre-qualified” as being someone we might like and relate to.

That in theory should be a good thing, but I think that in reality it makes for stressful experiences that just aren’t fun most of the time.

Most of us like to think that we are open minded and open to new experiences. But that doesn’t translate to being able to easily find a connection with someone who is very different to us. To be clear, I’m not putting a value judgement on being different from me. It’s just a statement that the more different we are the harder it is to form a connection with another person.

So yes – online dating brings vastly more people into our lives, but many – most – of them are simply never going to be possible prospects for a relationship – or even a friendship.

Then there is the social media affect. Social media is for the most part undeniably toxic. It allows – in fact encourages – and enables the worst kind of behaviour and attitudes toward other people and I don’t believe for a second that a person who one minute is thoughtlessly firing insults at someone on Twitter then flips over to Tinder has just undergone an attitude change and developed a sensitivity towards another group of anonymous people online.

So what is the solution? The only solution that I have been able to come up with is this: do things that you enjoy. Find other people who like doing the same things. Spend time around those people. In time and with luck you may meet someone with similar values and interests who you want to spend more time with.

It’s not a silver bullet to dating I know, but I think that it is the healthiest way to find a partner.

John

We don’t need to miss out on intimacy – and we shouldn’t

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When I started writing this article it was with a sense of frustration about what I see happening to women in relationships.  I regularly meet women – through my work as a male escort – who come to me because their partners (who they love and respect, and who’s company they enjoy) won’t give them the intimacy and sex that they want and need.

I am frustrated because these men seem to have no idea what they have to loose.  It takes a lot for any person dedicated to their relationship to take the leap to visit an escort.  It is not something done flippantly.  It’s done because for many women this is the only way they feel they can get the sex that they need without compromising themselves and endangering their relationship.

I really wish that as a society we could have a better conversation about relationships, what they mean, what we want and need from them, and how we can all get what we need to allow us to be happy – as opposed to the assumption that we operate under now that one person can and always will be able to fulfill all of our needs. Something that is clearly not true for the majority of people.

John