Dating – you don’t have to settle

I recently had a booking with a woman who I have known as a client for several years.  I hadn’t seen her in over a year and was pleasantly surprised when she contacted me again.  While chatting on the couch over a glass of wine she described to me the ups and downs of dating some men on and off over the last year.  There had been some successes and some failures, but on the whole, enough successes that she hadn’t felt the need to come and see me.

However an experience with a new date changed her mind.  He left her feeling a little worried about his trustworthiness and that got her thinking – “Do I take the risk? Or do I not?”.

Ultimately she decided not to take the risk – and part of the reason why was that she knew that she could simply come to see me instead.  Which she did.

I think that this is a really important lesson – it’s good to have an option so that you don’t succumb to “fear of missing out”, whether you exercise that option or not, just knowing that it’s there can help to make better decisions.

As per the title of this post – if you know that you can reliably get the intimacy and sex that you want and need (from someone like me) then you don’t have to “settle”.


More than just sex…

I would like to share a message with you that I received from a client (with her permission).  I have seen her several times over eighteen months or so and helped her to explore her sexuality.  But there was more going on there than either of us realised…

“Hi John

I wasn’t sure weather you’d like to hear this or not.  So I went on a date on Wed night, like first proper date.

I had the confidence to it & I was able to hold a conversation over dinner (maybe a few nerves), it felt normal to do. I never thought I’d ever have the confidence to do any of that and I would like to think having seen you a number of times has given me that confidence boost to be able to do it.

Sometimes Have wondered if seeing you has been a good idea but last night proved that, yes it has definitely been worth it (wouldn’t have guessed talking so much would be so much help). So thank you! so much for it.”

(Side note here: this person lives outside of Sydney and isn’t subject to the lockdown here, in case anyone is wondering why they were out of a date given the covid situation)

This was a delightful surprise to receive – because while I like my work and I love that so many of my clients choose to see me regularly, I also enjoy seeing them grow as people and become more confident. And eventually move on to new things and relationships.

I love that sometimes I am able to be a part of that growth.