I’m off to the Sydney Royal Easter Show soon – sadly my date for tonight came down with a bug, so I am going on my own. I am looking forward to taking photos and film and giving you a glimpse of night at the show soon!
I was lucky enough to stay at the Shangri la hotel recently – not looking east toward the Opera House and sunrise, but west to spectacular views that you don’t often see of Sydney and a fabulous sunset…
It’s not that often that you come across an article that is genuinely positive about body image in a non-preachy, no agenda kind of way. But this one fits the bill.
It’s nice to see a journalist writing about personal experience and taking a risk themselves. And that’s not to disparage journalists – I know it’s a tough industry, especially these days – but I am still waiting for the journalist to write a piece about sex workers from a position of personal experience, and really own it – yes people pay for sex. Yes, it’s ok to like it, or not – whatever, this was my experience.
Anyway, back to the article – it’s great that someone is saying hey it’s ok to be nude, it’s good to get in touch with your self, experience some vulnerability, and grow a little as a person.
Everyone has issues with their body and self image – doesn’t matter what our age is, young, old, in-between – there will always be something that we can find to be unhappy with. But it doesn’t have to be a problem. We don’t need to be perfect to enjoy our bodies. And we certainly don’t need to be perfect to enjoy sex. Being more comfortable in ourselves though will definitely make the latter easier and better.
Looking back, I can see that I haven’t made a post to my website since last December!
I have been distracted by several things – not least of which was the need to have a jolly good break from work. This industry takes it’s toll on a person and with such an intimate job, you need to be fit, healthy, and in the right frame of mind to give it your best.
I’m pleased to say that I am in good shape once again and ready for the challenges of the year ahead.
One of those challenges unfortunately is STIs – if you follow any sex workers on Twitter then you may be aware that there is currently an outbreak of gonorrhoea that is worst in Melbourne. Thankfully it can be treated easily with anti-biotics, but this is not a good reason to ignore it. I am told that some people can be symptom-less – therefore, not having any symptoms is not an indicator that you are negative.
There is only one thing that you can do to be sure – about any STI – and that is: get tested! It’s easy to do, costs nothing under Medicare, and it gives you and anyone you might have sex with peace of mind.
As I have regularly said: if everyone was tested for STIs even once a year, we would end them. There would simply be no place for them to hide. As it is, people who think “I couldn’t possibly have something” unwittingly become the hiding place for infections.
It may be embarrassing for some people talking about this stuff – but we have to do it!
Sex is a fabulous experience, but it’s also one that comes with consequences and responsibility – like contraception, consent, and sexual safety. The last one may be the most hassle, but it’s not hard to ask your GP or health clinic to order testing for STIs – just to be sure, whether you feel you are at risk or not.
If we all did that regularly, then we could stop worrying about STIs and get on with enjoying healthy sex lives.
You may have noticed this article in Fairfax media recently:
In summary: the government wants to get ride of $100 notes to stop people working for cash and not declaring their income.
When you add this statement to the Reserve Banks recent statement about wanting to eliminate cash altogether, I start to smell a rat / feel the thin edge of the wedge. I have a very real worry that we are taking the first step toward losing cash completely, or at the very least the higher denominations.
As someone who is regularly paid in cash – for good reasons – it’s a worrying development. Not because I want to hide my income – I don’t, I put it in the bank, claim deductions for business expenses and then pay tax on any profit.
It’s worrying for at least two reasons. First: people use cash to pay me because it’s anonymous. Second: it’s easy and instant. Lets unpack those points:
Anonymity: when you do something that is legal – decriminialised even – but still the subject of stigmatisation and social disapproval, then having the name my business pop up in your credit card or debit card statement can be a HUGE problem. We don’t live in a society where people’s choices – especially about their sexuality – are respected. So cash allows people, who don’t want to have to answer to others about their choices, to purchase my services in private.
And that’s not even considering the consequences of malicious hacking of personal and business data about your spending habits – or its sale by banks to third parties to use in their marketing – just sit and consider the potential consequences of that for a moment. This kind of tracking and resale of purchase data has already had real world consequences.
Easy of use: our banking system is archaic – especially the electronic transfer system. It can literally take days for money to get from one bank to another. In short if you want to pay me electronically, then you need to do it in advance, in full – before you know if you even want my service. Cash on the other hand means that you can turn up to our date and decide that it’s not right for you and walk out the door. No harm, no foul, no trouble. But if you had to make an electronic payment in advance, then there is trouble, embarrassment, you have to give me bank details to make the refund, what about trust? What happens if something goes wrong?
If you can’t use cash, then paying for a service that is intensely personal and sensitive has another layer of stress and anxiety added to it.
In short, losing cash will hurt women’s ability to buy my services. To be sure, it will also be a problem for men as well, but men have significant advantages when it comes to social acceptance (or at least tolerance) of the things that they do compared to women.
Killing cash will make it harder for women to access legal services like mine. This is not a good thing for anyone.
I tend not to ask for testimonials. I don’t want someone to feel obligated, and I have always felt that if people enjoy my service enough to want to write one, then that is the best recommendation of all.
I recently received a very nice testimonial from a young woman who I saw over a year ago. It was unexpected, but as always, it’s nice to know that what I do can make a difference to people.
I booked John after a break up when I was at one of the lowest points since highschool more than a year ago. I hadn’t slept with anyone new in a long time and it was so difficult trying to meet new people I could trust.Turns out that booking an escort was the way to go and I couldn’t have picked anyone better. He has been only the second (out of many) partners who has been giving and caring in the bed – it’s just a shame it took paying an escort to find that. But don’t get me wrong, John is a genuinely selfless man who genuinely cares about the women he sees. A true feminist in all aspects.He is an interesting man with a lot to offer and he is worth every dollar (his rates are also pretty good). He makes you feel relaxed and at ease, takes the pressure off being pleasured. I would recommend him to anyone looking for an escort!It’s been over a year since I first met him and I still talk about him to my partner from a purely platonic perspective. I’m very grateful I chose to go through and book a session with him. I think it was one of the best decisions of my life because I’ve only moved forward and progressed from there. Since seeing John things have only gotten better. And I’m grateful we can still talk. I enjoy his company :)A, Sydney
Being a male escort is quite possibly the best job in the world for many, many reason. Being able to touch someone’s life in this way is one of the best.
I wanted to talk about [boring technical website stuff]. It’s not hugely important, but it’s worth a mention.
Some time next year, web browser makers (Mozilla Foundation and Google) are going to make a huge change to the way their browsers warn you about security of websites. In short they are going to warn you every time you visit a site if it doesn’t use SSL (Secure Socket Layer) to send data back and forth to your web browser (it’s probably going to be super annoying for a while!). They are doing this to push publishers of websites (like me) to implement SSL and to make your browsing experience a little more private.
SSL (look for the HTTPS prefix in the address of this site and the padlock symbol to know it’s working) encrypts all data that is transferred between my server and your browser. People (like our governments) who care to snoop on our web browsing habits will still be able to see what URL’s you are visiting, but they won’t be able to see exactly what you are reading, or the contents of comment post you may post or similar (not unless they come and browse my website at least).
Any way, when I heard about this upcoming change I contacted my web host and have fully implemented SSL security on my website. So you can rest assured that when you browse my site that no-one is intercepting or modifying the content that gets sent to you. It’s just one more small thing to help protect your privacy.
It’s that time of year again – the pre-christmas madness has arrived on Sydney’s roads.
This year has been (in my experience) a pretty good year on the road – especially on the motorbike. People have been driving safely, not changing lanes without looking, not running red lights, not using their phones so much. It’s been nice. It’s felt safe(r).
However. With Christmas just around the corner Sydney’s drivers seem to have lost their collective minds. In the last couple of weeks I am seeing:
- Running of red lights – frequently!
- Mobile phone use – all the time
- General impatience, bad driving, and lack of attention – everywhere
I even had a driver sail right through a red light while I was crossing on a green pedestrian light. That was actually scary. They were totally concentrating on something other than the task of driving safely. If I hadn’t been paying attention (as many pedestrians don’t), then I would have been dead and everyone’s Christmas would have been ruined.
So here’s a pre-Christmas message and request to everyone who reads my blog:
Please drive safe! Take your time, don’t rush, plan ahead, and most of all – concentrate. Life is full of distractions, especially at this time of year, so be aware and don’t let them interfere when you are driving.
Say safe everyone, please!
I lived in Melbourne before I moved to Sydney. Specifically in Richmond, and before then Prahran when I was at university.
Back then Prahran was the poor cousin to, well, just about every other inner Melbourne suburb. The process of gentrification hadn’t really taken hold and it was still a cheap place to live. Affordable to students and just a short walk from where I studied. But the area was somewhat down at heal. Most of the pubs were still typical inner city dives – dark, smelling of beer, and inhabited by people there to drink away the day and forget. It wasn’t an inspiring landscape.
When we look back on our lives, we have pictures in our heads of the way that places were when we knew them. But nothing stays the same. Everything changes. Life moves on. Especially so in cities. But memories are comfortable places. They don’t challenge us, or ask us to change, or better ourselves. In fact they can be excellent excuses for not changing. For staying the same.
Last week while I was in Melbourne, I was lucky enough to have time to walk down Chapel St on Saturday night. Chapel St (for those of you who don’t know Melbourne) runs from Richmond, all the way down to St Kild. Through South Yarra and Prahran.
When I lived there, Chapel St had two faces: the glamorous South Yarra end and the down-at-heal Prahran end. Walking from one end to the other was to see a (certain) cross-section of life and culture in Australia.
Not any more.
I was truly stunned by what I saw. I had intended to only go half way down Chapel St, then turn right and head back to my hotel. But when I reached the half way point I was amazed to see that the glitter of South Yarra now spilled on into Prahran. Even the South Yarra end was more alive. More restaurants, more people, more activity – More life!
And it just went on and on… The further I walked, the bigger the change. The few restaurants in Prahran and the dingy shops have been replaced with more eating places than I could count – it seemed like every third shop front was a restaurant. And the shops themselves were now much more up market. And everywhere were people! Masses of them. When once Chapel St was a bit of a desert, even on Saturday night, now it was positively crowded! Tables full of people clogged the footpath, security staff stood guard at door after door of trendy pubs, clubs, and eateries. And everywhere were people going too and fro.
It was like nothing I ever expected to see in my old home.
And it was invigorating!
Not expecting to see anything of note, I didn’t bother to take my camera and sadly my phone battery died as well, so I only have a few photos to share. I tried to capture the moment, but it’s not an easy thing to do with such a brief photo essay.
Having walked the length of Chapel St and confirmed that my favourite theatre (The Astor) was indeed still there, I turn off Chapel St, walking past my old university (much renovated and upgraded I saw) and into the comparative darkness and quiet of High St, heading back to my hotel.
The walk gave me time to think. And the lesson that my exploration of Chapel St was trying to teach me was this: life is about change – or more to the point: life should be about change.
Especially when we are talking about ourselves. Places that stay the same, that don’t evolve, don’t challenge us. They allow us to be comfortable with who and what we are. They allow us to not grow. The extreme changes in Chapel St made me realise that not only were the memories that I had of that place no-longer current, but that my attitude toward that place was not even relevant any more! It made me stop and ask the question of _who_ I really am. Am I the person who went to university there? Are the ideas and attitudes that were shaped by that place – that doesn’t even exist any more – still useful and relevant? Was I living in the past? Did I need to look harder at myself?
The answer was and is: yes. We always need to be looking at ourselves, asking ourselves whether the ideas and beliefs that we hold are still relevant? Or are they holding us back from doing and being what we need to be? Are we letting the past dictate our future? Is it time to build a new life that gives us the things that we really want?
I wouldn’t expect Youtube to throw up instructional life lessons, but someone there threw up some ideas that mesh well with my exploration of Chapel St. He said words to the effect of: you need to stop regularly and ask yourself “Am I doing the one thing that I really want to be doing with my life?”. If the answer is no, then that is what you need to do.
Of course not everyone can simply change the course of their lives. We all have commitments and history that place limits on us. But the lesson is sound: we need to be constantly assessing ourselves and our life and making the changes that we need to make to be happy, healthy, and fulfilled.
This about the hardest, most scary thing that most people can do. We are hemmed in from day to day by responsibilities, by “conventional wisdom”, by expectations, by our own fear of change. But we can’t let that stop us.
We have to be brave – because the world simply WILL NOT WAIT for us. It will change around us. It will not care how difficult life will become. So it is up to every one of us to take on that challenge and find a way to thrive.