After my recent posts about lube one of my clients very generously brought a tube of Astroglide water based lube for us to try.
While it has a good texture and is very slippery Astroglide has one major failing that makes it a “would not recommend” for me – as it dries out it gets sticky! That has to be my least favourite type of lube.
I don’t know why so many water based lubricants do this, but it’s not a trait I enjoy. So the “Yes WB” is still top of my list!
John
As a sex worker (for women) I tend to receive payment either in cash or by electronic transfer. For some of my clients, cash is ideal because they don’t want to leave an electronic trail of their activities – and given the stigma still attached to sex work, especially for women as clients, that’s no surprise to me.
It’s not necessarily true for other areas of sex work thought, like male for male and female for male services where clients may be more likely to appreciate the convenience of an EFTPOS payment with a card.
That however is a very difficult service to get and to keep for any sex worker. So it is with great pleasure that a Melbourne based sex worker has just won a major anti-discrimination case in Victoria under their anti-discrimination laws that protect sex workers.
You can read about it here:
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-05-30/sex-worker-takes-on-financial-sector-debanking/103908678
In short Matthew’s EFTPOS terminal provider disabled his service because the company sees sex work as a “risk” for money laundering – well that’s their claim at least. Usually these things are more about the company just not wanting to provide services to sex workers on “moral” grounds or because of reputational risk (meaning discrimination).
Matthew engaged a law firm and won the right to receive services under Victoria’s relatively new anti-discrimination laws – which incidentally he was instrumental in the creation of!
It is fabulous to see this outcome. While I don’t intend to provide EFTPOS services in the foreseeable future (and New South Wales does not currently have anti-discrimination protection for sex workers, so I’d probably still be out of luck if I did want to) it is still a win for the industry, and a step forward for all sex workers.
Who knows, after this victory sex workers may even be able to get home loans like everyone else! Now that would be progress.
John
I was talking to a client recently and she made the comment that one of my best qualities is that I make her feel safe – and as a precursor to intimacy that feeling safe is, for most women, absolutely necessary.
“Being safe” for my clients has always been a priority since I first started working as a male escort for women back in 2010.
It’s why I offer to meet for coffee or a drink in a public place if you are considering making a booking but want to be sure about me before you book.
It’s why I tell anyone who is at all worried that when they see me, they are in charge, and that at any time they can decide to end the booking and leave (and I won’t expect to be paid).
It’s why I don’t take payment for a booking until the end of our session, so you don’t feel any pressure to continue because you have already paid.
It’s why when I see women who are trying to build or rebuild trust in their bodies and with men as intimate partners, we have talked and worked out rules for everything from simply touching to having sex that put them completely in control. And we have then practiced them taking control, telling me to stop what I’m doing, to start again, or do something different so that they can see that I will do exactly what they ask me to.
It’s also why I won’t ever write a “tell all” autobiography – because regardless of how I might obscure my client’s identities, I know that people would see themselves in anything that I write and I never want to make anyone feel that I have exploited them and their booking with me for profit beyond what they paid me for directly.
I take my responsibility to your safety very seriously and I hope that makes the decision to contact me just a little bit easier.
John
Well, Jas Strong and I were booked together tonight, but our client has just cancelled due to illness.
So – we are both free and available to you in Sydney tonight. If you have ever wanted to experience two men concentrated entirely on your pleasure then here’s your chance!
Come to us in Olympic Park, or we can come to you.
Drop me a line and we will make your fantasy reality.
Ph: 0437 520 539 or john@john-oh-escort.com
John
So the new lube I decided to try while looking for something to replace the Sylk lube that I have used for the last twelve years turned up very promptly – thank you Shopnaturally.com.au I appreciate the rapid service.
If you haven’t seen my previous post here’s a summary: the company that manufactures Sylk lubricant in New Zeeland has lost its way since it was bought out be a foreign company, culminating in three batches of Sylk being recalled last year. They seem to no longer be manufacturing any significant quantity of their product now and it is effectively impossible to buy.
So I looked around for a replacement and found Yes Water Based lube. People seem to think that it is the closest thing to Sylk available.
I bought a tube (first difference, it comes in a tube, not a rigid bottle, which isn’t really a big deal) and have tried it out and I’m here to report the results!
So Yes Water Based lube is quite similar to Sylk at first glance. Similar colour. Similar texture. However while Sylk is a loose gel, Yes is definitely a liquid. If you turn the tube upside down Yes will drip out. If you turn a bottle of Sylk upside down the lube will stay put until you squeeze. You need to keep this in mind as it’s easy to lose a lot of Yes if you’re not careful!
How does it feel? Between your fingers Yes feels pretty similar to Sylk. It last well and seems to wet up again ok, but not as well as Sylk perhaps.
Now from my point of view – wearing a condom – it is very hard to notice any real difference in the texture and feel of Yes to Sylk. However it doesn’t seem to last quite as long. And I have also noticed that when it finally dries out Yes does tend to feel a little bit “sticky” which is disappointing!
I have also tried it for masturbation and I think that while it is thinner than Sylk, it doesn’t feel quite as slippery and requires more applications more frequently.
At the end of the day Yes seems to be a reasonable alternative to Sylk. It will do the job and isn’t much more expensive – but I really hope that one day Sylk get their act together and I can go back to the old faithful…
John
Now it’s been a while since I took a good road trip and I will say that I’ve forgotten the quirks of bathrooms in country pubs and in this case truck stops.
Who else remembers the venerable bathroom condom vending machine?
Good to see they’re still thinking about the ladies pleasure and stocking the “super ribbed and textured” variety! (or am I misreading the target market here?)
John
I haven’t written about this topic in a while, partly because I think I have said most of what needs to be said. You can read my previous posts here: virginity (at time of writing there are 16 articles relating to first time sex). I have also written some articles which can be found here: My offer for virgins
However someone sent me a link to this recent article from the ABC so since it’s topical again I thought perhaps it was worth covering again.
The part that stands out to me in this article is how “never having had sex” effects people’s lives beyond just missing out on actually having sex.
From the headline “…make her feel like an outsider” – I was talking about this twelve years ago back when I was new to the industry and it understandably hasn’t changed.
When you haven’t had the experiences that your friends and family have had and you can’t share them – or worse you can’t even relate to them it has serious negative effects on your ability to connect with the people around you.
If you have never had sex it puts you on the outside in almost every social situation and that can be a terribly lonely and isolating place to be that will absolutely make your life less happy.
Jo’s last words in the article are: “You don’t really miss what you’ve never had, right?”
I disagree. You may not be conscious of what you are missing, but our bodies have a lot of stuff hardwired into them and sex and reproduction are one of the most primal aspects of our biology and psychology. Even if we aren’t conscious of missing something there will be effects – emotional and physical. I think that it is reasonable to say that we can miss something we have never had, even if we aren’t aware of what we are missing.
I don’t expect that Jo will ever read this post, but other women in a similar situation probably will. Let me say this to you: almost every woman who comes to me who wants to have sex for the first time (and I usually see at least two or three each year ranging in age from 20 to 45) say to me afterwards: “is that it? Why was I so worried about it?” and often “I wish I’d just done it earlier, I feel like I’ve missed out on so much”.
It’s always heartbreaking for me hearing those words. Our society makes *such* a huge deal out of sex – “Don’t have it! You’ll get a disease/pregnant/go to hell!”, “You must have sex or you’re not cool!”, “You can’t have the sex you want because [reasons…]”
So many conflicting pressures, so much stress over something that is and should be a natural and easy part of our lives.
The reality is that everyone deserves to have safe, consensual sex. If you have never had sex and you want to get over that emotional and mental hurdle then reach out to me. I am happy to talk and discuss your situation and your needs and if it feels right, give you an experience that set you on the road to a fulfilling sex life.
John
Our society edits out the notion of older people having sex from our collective consciousness. It’s not something that anyone really wants to talk about.
The reality – as discussed in this article – is that people are just people. Young or old we tend to like sex.
The most important thing though is that as we get older the sex tends to get better! That is really encouraging to me.
Many of the women I meet in my work have reached a point in their lives where they are no-longer having sex. Marriages change, children get in the way, work, stress, and myriad things can lead a person to living a sexless life.
Then we can start to question if we deserve sex, or if we should be having it as an older person?
The answer is always, yes we do deserve sex, no matter what our age.
The challenge then is how do we find “good” sex?
There is no simple answer to that of course. Online dating tends to be a rolling dumpster fire. Our lives have become increasingly busy and stressful, making it ever harder…
I think that the best answer is: we need to invest real time and effort into making connections with people who represent our values and have shared interests – because the better the connection you have with a sexual partner the better the sex can be.
That’s not to say that flings and one night things can’t be hugely fun, but there is a time and a place for that and it’s not necessarily the way to find satisfying and fulfilling sex in the long term.
I believe that sex workers can be a part of the solution here too. It may be in the short term, helping someone who has lost their sexual confidence to find it again, or in the long term being a reliable, safe, and attentive lover who makes up for something that is missing from a marriage, or a busy life that has limited opportunities to meet people.
John
So my order of Yes Water Based lube arrived today!
First look and feel seems pretty good. It is very similar in texture to my preferred Sylk lube, but possibly a little thinner.
It seemed to last about as long as Sylk in a finger tip test and it also seemed to regain it’s lubricating nature reasonably well when it did dry up (just like Sylk) by adding some water.
But you don’t really know what a lube is like until you put it to the actual test! I will report back when I have had the opportunity to try it out properly with someone.
John
If you have spent any time learning about, or in the sex positive community then you have probably come across the term “yoni massage”, but you may not be familiar with what it actually means.
While browsing YouTube recently I watched a video on the topic that I thought was quite a good explanation.
In short yoni massage is the massaging of the area of the mons pubis, inner thighs including vulva and the perineum, and inside the vagina. For a more detailed explanation the video does a great job.
If you are thinking about booking a session with a straight male sex worker like myself, but you aren’t sure if you want to go all the way to having penetrative sex then a yoni massage might be a great middle ground to give you an intense erotic experience without being too challenging!
It can be a very enjoyable form of foreplay or it can be an entire experience in an of itself. It can also be a great starting point for a woman who is a virgin and wants to have sex for the first time (or for the first time in a long while), but would like to build up to the experience of vaginal penetration.
John