Category Archives: Education

Xplore Sydney Festival – conclusions

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I didn’t really know what to expect from Sydney Xplore Festival 2012.  I attended with an open mind ready to learn new things.

Xplore was a welcome surprise to me as I met a lot of interesting and engaging people, learned new things and generally had fun.

If you have ever wondered about spanking, light bondage, and similar things, or wanted to expand and explore your sexuality in general then Xplore is a good place to start.  It’s not threatening.  It’s not weird.  It’s relaxed, positive, and open and a lot of fun.

What you get from Xplore really comes down to what workshops they run (which changes each year) and which of them you attend.  So it’s easy enough to select a set of workshops that are to your taste and interest.

Be warned though that three days of four or five workshops per day is very full on.  Many of the workshops include significant participation which can be physically and emotionally challenging.  So you will need to plan on getting good sleep before hand and each night!

All in all Xplore was worth the $320 for the ticket.  Well worth it.  If you want to open your mind to new possibilities, then give it a go!

John.

Sex is not a weapon – or – make love not war on women …

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I have (thanks to parents who taught me about right and wrong, and equality) always seen and treated women as my equals.  Not as better, not as inferior.  We are all human, different in some ways (defined by our DNA and body chemistry), but always deserving of respect and fair treatment.

So it’s sad to me to come across articles like this one “Why Women Still Can’t Enjoy Sex” from Fairfax’s Daily Life:

http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/dl-opinion/why-women-still-cant-enjoy-sex-20120321-1vjgg.html

The article itself makes good points about how both men and women shame women for wanting / having / enjoying sex (and lets not even start on being a sex worker).  Which all reminds me of my recent blog post about a new book by Jacqueline Hellyer on having better sex.

The world conspires against women (and men too) having good sex.  It’s insidious and it’s really detrimental to our relationship and to our happiness.

The answer is to allow sex and sexuality to be a part of our lives (whether you want it personally or not), not to relegate it to the back room, or use it as a stick to beat others with.  Lets talk about sex, have sex, and live sexual lives, rather than give in to the people who fear and hate sex and all of the joy that it can bring to our lives.

John.

What good sex does for us

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To be a happy healthy person you need balance in your life.  Good food in moderation, exercise, companionship, challenges, and yes sex.

Our society is very good at telling us that we need to exercise more, eat better etc.  But sadly there is no-one talking about the role that sexuality can play in improving out lives.  It’s treated by most people as something that happens to some people and (if they are lucky) it’s good.

I have come to realise though that regular sex and sexual play can drastically alter a person’s personality and life in a positive way!  We have all seen it, or experienced it ourselves at one time or another, a workmate or friend turning up with that rosy cheeked look and a smile that just screams “I’ve been having really good sex”.  We treat that though as just a passing thing.  It’s a new relationship, or some life change means that you are having more sex with your partner.  And for a while the world is a rosy place and you are chilled out and happy.  But then the gloss wears off, things get dull, and sex goes back to being ho-hum, or absent.

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Sex Tips for Busy People, by Jacqueline Hellyer

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I love and enjoy sex.  A good thing given that I am a male escort for women.  Not everyone does – both men and women.  But most do.

Unfortunately our society often conspires to force us out of doing the things that are really conducive to wanting and having good sex.  The Sydney Morning Herald published an article recently about the book Sex Tips for Busy People, by Jacqueline Hellyer here:

http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/how-to-have-gourmet-sex-20120315-1v77z.html

The conclusions drawn in the article and book about how to revitalise your sex life centre around simple practical things.  Like making time that’s dedicated to sex, going to bed early, talking to your partner, being nice to each other.

These are things that my partner and I do as a matter of course, but as I said at the beginning, people’s lives ofte conspire against being able to do this stuff.  Stress, limited time, work, family pressures, and just the familiarity that a long term relationship brings can make it really hard to do these simple things.

The article uses the analogy of good sex being like a gourmet meal: it takes time and effort to prepare and as a result is more enjoyable and special because of that effort.  Which gave me a chuckle as (if you continue the analogy) you could consider that booking a date with me is like going to a good restaurant.  You don’t have to do the preparation and cooking, but you still get the great meal.

The life lesson though is that if you want good sex, you (both) have to work for it.  I am all in favor of that and it is one of the reasons that I offer my Masterclasses in oral sex.  Not everyone can afford my services on a regular basis, so I wanted to be able to give couples and singles a few more skills to help things along.

The more we think about our sex life, work at giving to our partner the better.  Sometimes it can’t, or won’t be reciprocated, but it’s definitely worth a try!

John.

Oral sex master class a success

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I gave my first oral sex master class Giving Great Oral Sex to Women on the weekend.  It was a really good experience for me (and I believe for M and S the two women who participated) with lots of information shared, plenty of laughs and fun, and many new things learned.

I was actually surprised by how much fun the session was.  I was expecting that we would all enjoy it, but didn’t expect it to be quite so relaxed and there to be so much laughter.

I am looking forward to doing it again and hopefully including a male/female couple next time (which will be an interesting difference working with a guy).

John.