Category Archives: Blogging and articles

Harsh measures!

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I just came across a very amusing article that nicely demonstrates the power of sex …

http://rt.com/news/spain-banks-escorts-sex-198/

High class (female) Spanish escorts are refusing to provide sexual services to bankers until the banks loosen their purse strings and start lending again to Spanish citizens and small to medium size businesses and enterprises.

I don’t think that it’s about to improve Spain’s economic situation, but it’s a nice demonstration of the very real power of sex on the average male!

John.

The thin end of the wedge

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According to an article published in the Sydney Morning Herald today:

http://www.smh.com.au/world/you-know-what-men-are-like-indonesia-to-ban-miniskirts-over-links-to-rape-20120329-1vz7q.html

The Indonesian religious affairs minister is going to ban mini-skirts because they cause men to rape women.

I have no idea where to even start with this non-sense really.  Except to say that this is an excellent example of why allowing fundamentalist religious minorities to have power in any society is always a bad thing for women (it will also be bad for gay men, lesbians, and any other minority that catches the attention of these people)..

Bad for their liberty, bad for their health, bad for their education, and definitely bad for their sexuality.

In Indonesia the problem is fundamentalist Islam, in the US it’s fundamentalist Christianity.  In Australia we are largely immune to these forces, but it has been with a growing sense of dismay in recent times that I have watched people who I have considered intelligent, educated, and open minded fall down the rabbit hole of extreme religious views and start spouting nonsense that is on a par with Indonesia’s obsession with seeing women’s knees.

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Sex Tips for Busy People, by Jacqueline Hellyer

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I love and enjoy sex.  A good thing given that I am a male escort for women.  Not everyone does – both men and women.  But most do.

Unfortunately our society often conspires to force us out of doing the things that are really conducive to wanting and having good sex.  The Sydney Morning Herald published an article recently about the book Sex Tips for Busy People, by Jacqueline Hellyer here:

http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/how-to-have-gourmet-sex-20120315-1v77z.html

The conclusions drawn in the article and book about how to revitalise your sex life centre around simple practical things.  Like making time that’s dedicated to sex, going to bed early, talking to your partner, being nice to each other.

These are things that my partner and I do as a matter of course, but as I said at the beginning, people’s lives ofte conspire against being able to do this stuff.  Stress, limited time, work, family pressures, and just the familiarity that a long term relationship brings can make it really hard to do these simple things.

The article uses the analogy of good sex being like a gourmet meal: it takes time and effort to prepare and as a result is more enjoyable and special because of that effort.  Which gave me a chuckle as (if you continue the analogy) you could consider that booking a date with me is like going to a good restaurant.  You don’t have to do the preparation and cooking, but you still get the great meal.

The life lesson though is that if you want good sex, you (both) have to work for it.  I am all in favor of that and it is one of the reasons that I offer my Masterclasses in oral sex.  Not everyone can afford my services on a regular basis, so I wanted to be able to give couples and singles a few more skills to help things along.

The more we think about our sex life, work at giving to our partner the better.  Sometimes it can’t, or won’t be reciprocated, but it’s definitely worth a try!

John.

Will someone please turn off the rain …

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I am sure that I am not the only one wanting the rain to stop, but I suppose that I don’t have that much to complain about really.  I haven’t been flooded out of house and home, or washed off a bridge.

But I am heartily sick of rugging up like the Micheline Man to get on the bike and go to Sydney and come home again.

Seriously though, I hope that everyone effected by the flooding is high and dry and safe.

In other news I just can’t believe the response that I have had to my video Ten Minutes To Orgasm.  There will definitely be a sequel and it will likely happen in the next week or two, time permitting.  Thanks again to everyone who has emailed me with complements, suggestions, scripts for short films (!) and offers to co-star.  I am really blown away by your enthusiasm and I hope that I can live up to it :-)

So.  Stay tuned!

John.

Sexpo – 2 … The Pussy Shaver kit

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Having a shaved pussy can feel great for sex and oral sex.  Smooth slippery skin … such intimate contact …

But the day to day logistics of shaving can be problematic.  In-grown hairs, shaving cuts etc.

The kit includes a powder brush (bottom left), the long hair trimmer (middle), and the fine hair shaver (top right)

One of the stalls that I saw at Sexpo run by a company caleld VShavers was selling a kit of electric shavers that they call the Pussy Shaver kit.  Basically it has two shavers.  One rather like the shape of a toothbrush for trimming long hair, the other more like a regular shaver for removing stubble and fine hair.  Add some talcum powder as a dry lubricant and you are away.

I don’t have hairy arms, so the demo on me was only just noticeable!  But I watched another gentleman have a patch shaved on a very hairy forearm (much more like a woman’s pubic hair) and the result was excellent.

You can buy the shaver kit online at their website:

http://www.vshavers.com.au/

I bought one of the kits and will give it away as one choice for the next four people to book an overnight date with me.

John.

Sex in relationships

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If you keep an eye on sexuality related trivia like I do, then you may have noticed a few months ago that a French woman successfully sued her husband (and was awarded AUD$13,500 in damages) because he failed to fulfill his duty as a husband to provide sex to his wife during their marriage.

http://www.smh.com.au/world/strangebuttrue/husband-ordered-to-pay-wife-for-lack-of-sex-20111130-1o5oj.html

The husband appealed the decision and lost.  The ruling and the damages stand.

When I first read about this I was amazed.  This sort of situation is very familar to me (as is the reverse).  But the French legal system has potentially just set a precident that has absolutely huge implications, at least in their own country.

The first thing that comes to mind is: this opens the flood gates for men, unsatisfied with their sex lives to sue their wives for damages.  The second is: what about our right as individuals to say “no”?

The more you pick at this issue the more complex it gets, and I expect that in the short term at least, only the lawyers are going to win from it.

What I do see though is that this ruling (in France at least) puts a spotlight on our relationships and how we treat each other sexually.  I recently made a post offering a Master Class in giving great oral sex to women and I think that this court case confirms my thinking.  Guys: we need to put a lot more effort into pleasing our partners (and being able to give great oral sex is a much appreciated skill).  And it’s not hard to do.  Yes it takes effort and a little thought, but honestly it’s not that hard.

What you need is:

  1. To understand you partner and your own sexuality (what you each like, what you don’t like, what turns you on, what satisfies you)
  2. A few specific skills (how to give oral sex, how give your partner an orgasm, what she likes when it comes time to have penetrative sex)
  3. A plan that delivers what each of you need and want

I have had occassion to discuss these issues with women and couples and often it is relatively easy to find ways to help overcome the hurdles.  A little bit of understanding, a little bit of effort and flexibility can transform the situation.

I am not a sex therapist, or medial professional, but I do have a lot of real world experience, that I am able to share.  I also have the big advantage as a sex worker over a health professional that I am ethically able to demonstrate and directly teach men and women the physical techniques that I use and know.

So, here’s an open invitation to men, women, and couples.  Do you want to improve your sex life?  If you do, then contact me; post a comment below, send me an email, or give me a call and we can talk about what might work for you.  If you don’t think that your partner would want to be involved, don’t worry, we can still talk and find solutions that you can implement on your own.

Lets keep the courts out of our bedrooms and start having better sex!

John.

Sexpo – 1

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I only made a short visit in to Sexpo on Saturday as the day was compressed by a delayed flight from Sydney and having a big evening planned, so I went back again on Sunday.

If you have never been to Sexpo, here’s a short run down …

Mostly Sexpo is a chance for anyone who does “stuff” in the “adult industry” to show off to the public over four days.  On top of that, there is an ongoing stage show of adult oriented acts (like the Tokio Shock Boys, male and female strippers, audience participation and more) and curiously this time they had a motorcycle stunt show … not quite sure how that fits, but I guess that it appeals to the main audience demographic!  Granted they did some pretty impressive stuff, but it’s not exactly about sex.

Some of the stands on display included:

  • More sex toy vendors than you could poke a (erm …) stick at, ranging in quality from the really cheap to the really expensive.  There were a lot of good deals on offer though, so it makes for a fun way to buy a vibrator as just about everything on the market was there and available at prices as good as you would get online (or better sometimes)
  • Show bags – $60 for a bag full of goodies for wome, or men, or couples.  They contained things like vibrators, lube, ligerie, male masturbators (of which there are now lots more on the market), various sex toys, and more
  • Fetish wear – from the mild (riding crops and suspenders) to the serious (body restrains, ball gags, nipple clamps), to the seriously bizar (gimp costumes, speculums, and more).  Interestingly, the people who run these businesses are often the easiest to talk to, very open minded, and lots of fun
  • Lingerie – definitely sexy
  • Personal grooming – I saw hair crimping tools and intimate shavers
  • Photography – glamour and intimate, there were at least four different businesses with stands there
  • ClubX – one of the largest chains of adult stores had a very big stand with a large range of products from their catalogue.  ClubX has gone a long way up-market from their early days and put together a very nice stand with lots of staff and lots of interesting products
  • Charities – there were a couple of organisations there drumming up support for their adult related causes, which was good to see
  • Pole dancing equipment – just one stand, but they can set up with everything you need!

I am sure to have missed out on some stuff, but that gives you a good overview. One thing that seemed quite abscent though were retailers of DVDs.  I may have just overlooked them, but I don’t think so.  I expect that the Internet is busy destroying the DVD delivery business model, so perhaps that is the reason.

Both Saturday and Sunday when I visited were absolutely packed.  Heaps of people, in equal numbers for male and female.  Average age was probably around thirty.

I will wrap this post up now.  I have a bunch of toys and products to review and give away, so I will get on with that next and give you more details and photos!

John.

Back in Sydney!

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This is just a short update post, I am back in Sydney after my trip to Melbourne for the weekend.  The trip was great, Sexpo was a lot of fun and I have heaps to write about this week as a result.

I also have lots of toys and things from Sexpo that I will be giving away, so come back soon, or subscribe to my RSS feed to find out how to score yourself something fun, including grooming, vibrators, lube, and ClubX gift vouchers!

I am available in Sydney tonight as I am staying overnight before heading home tomorrow, so drop me a line if you would like to experience some pleasure and I will throw in a a toy as a bonus :-)

John.

Hold him to account

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I normally try to keep my posts positive, but I think that it is worth making a statement about the radio presenter Kyle Sandilands, who has been behaving very badly (again) of late.

Plenty of people in the press have dissected his behavior, so I don’t need to do it here.

As someone who often sees the results of emotional abuse of women by men I say that it is time for men to step up and tell their badly behaved mates “no, it’s not ok to treat women this way”.

I was raised by my parents to “never hit a girl”.  When I was young I took that rule at face value, but as I grew up I realised that there is a much wider meaning.  That is … when you are stronger, or more powerful than someone else, you have a responsibility to use that power if a wise and fair way.  You don’t abuse it.

Kyle Sandilands is given enormous power by his employers and sponsors.  Sadly his parents don’t seem to have taught him the lesson “not to hit girls”.  Which brings us to the dubious morality of his employers and sponsors.

If anything good can come of Kyle Sandilands’ abuse of women it’s that our society realises that we don’t want and shouldn’t reward attitudes like his.

John.

Voyeurism

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Voyeurism

I have always been a voyeur at heart.  I love the female form, the way a woman’s body looks when she moves, or reclines … the way a couple’s bodies look together …

But the act of looking goes beyond the observer’s pleasure.  As the owner of the club in Shortbus said: “voyeurism is participation (darling)”.  Just as in physics where the “Observer Effect” means that the act of observation will make changes to the phenomenon being observed, so too when we look we influence those who we observe.

For many people, being watched in a sexual context is as arousing for them as it may be for the observer.  This is something that I quite enjoy myself.  If I am having a shower, for instance when I am on a date, then I will invite you to watch.  Some people love it and I quite enjoy being seen.

Voyeurism can be much more intimate too.  Australian Crawl said in their song Beautiful People … “they won’t admit it, but they make love in the dark”.  Sex with the lights off has it’s own pleasures (take away the sense of sight and and your mind will heighten all of your other senses to compensate), but personally I think that it’s a good thing to keep at least a little light when making love.  Site is our strongest sense and we rely on it so thoroughly in every other aspect of day to day life that it is a shame to miss out on it during sex.

I find the combination of seeing as well as feeling to be extremely arousing.  It’s also a very intimate way of communicating with your lover … when you can see them drinking in the sight of you and enjoying it, then it’s hard not to feel good about yourself.

So don’t be shy about your body ladies (and men).  I know that many of you feel that you are less than perfect and perhaps not so confident to show off for your partner, but take it from me: men love looking at women.  And when it comes to great sex, a woman who is confident enough to show off her body a little to her lover is going to please him greatly.  Confidence is sexy.

John.