Drawn in by the headline of this article “Bizarre sex challenge men need to stop” I clicked and I read…

Apparently there are men out there who abstain for ejaculation during the month of November. 

They claim (with no evidence the article says) that it has sex/health benefits. Which seems unlikely. After all we know that regular ejaculation is good for prostate health if nothing else (reducing lifetime risk of prostate cancer by 33% and that benefit is greater the older we get).

While the article is rather all-over-the-place it does make the point that fads/challenges/rules etc about sex are more likely to encourage unhealthy thinking about our bodies and sex than they are to improve our sexual function.

That seems like a reasonable statement to me.

We all have baggage from our lives, from growing up, to learning about sex, to relationships, to marriage, having children. It all effects us, shapes who we are, including sexually.

Abstaining from sex for one month each year isn’t going to solve anyone’s problems or give them god-like powers in bed.

What will help though is looking inside ourselves and listening to the voice that tells you what you really want in your sex life. it took me personally fifteen years from puberty to really accept my sexuality and embrace it (then another ten to become a straight male escort for women, but that’s another story).

That voice may be telling you that all you want is some basic sex every now and then, or it might be saying that you want wild sex with multiple partners every weekend – and it doesn’t matter where you are on that spectrum, it’s all valid. What matters is that you listen to it and accept where your sexuality is at right now (because its going to change throughout our lives).

This doesn’t mean you have to act of those feelings – but the act of accepting that our sexuality is a certain way, rather than denying it can be a powerful thing. There’s a release to be had from not constantly denying ones nature – even if you never indulge that nature.

And I think that is probably the right message to be taking away from all of this

John