PSA for men: you need to listen to her body

It’s great to be enthusiastic and want to do all of the things to give your partner a great time when you have sex, but guys – you also have to listen to her body (as well as her words).

She might LOVE receiving oral sex, but the way that you are doing it – whatever that may be – might not be right for her at this moment. “Normally” perhaps she likes it firm and direct on her clit – but that might only be after a bunch of low key foreplay kissing and cuddling and touching and rubbing that got her plenty aroused and ready. However this time things advanced faster for whatever reason so here you are going down on her without so much “warm up”.

That’s ok – but you may need to go slower and more gently until she is ready for that full on clit stimulation – and her body (if not her words) will be telling you that. Is she as wet as you would expect? Is she more sensitive? Ok, then slow down and spend more time circling around her inner thighs, mons pubis, and labia before you “…rush like a bull at a gate for her clitoris!” (to quote Monty Python).

Conversely, when you are in the middle of oral, or sex and you feel her muscles tensing in her thighs and abdomen – don’t stop what you are doing – it’s working! And don’t change what you are doing – don’t go faster/harder/slower/softer – what you are doing is working, just keep doing that. If she wants more or less, then, again, her body will let you know.

Sex isn’t something that we are naturally born good at. It is a skill that we learn – and an important way to learn is to listen to all of the feedback that you are getting.


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