Our society edits out the notion of older people having sex from our collective consciousness. It’s not something that anyone really wants to talk about.
The reality – as discussed in this article – is that people are just people. Young or old we tend to like sex.
The most important thing though is that as we get older the sex tends to get better! That is really encouraging to me.
Many of the women I meet in my work have reached a point in their lives where they are no-longer having sex. Marriages change, children get in the way, work, stress, and myriad things can lead a person to living a sexless life.
Then we can start to question if we deserve sex, or if we should be having it as an older person?
The answer is always, yes we do deserve sex, no matter what our age.
The challenge then is how do we find “good” sex?
There is no simple answer to that of course. Online dating tends to be a rolling dumpster fire. Our lives have become increasingly busy and stressful, making it ever harder…
I think that the best answer is: we need to invest real time and effort into making connections with people who represent our values and have shared interests – because the better the connection you have with a sexual partner the better the sex can be.
That’s not to say that flings and one night things can’t be hugely fun, but there is a time and a place for that and it’s not necessarily the way to find satisfying and fulfilling sex in the long term.
I believe that sex workers can be a part of the solution here too. It may be in the short term, helping someone who has lost their sexual confidence to find it again, or in the long term being a reliable, safe, and attentive lover who makes up for something that is missing from a marriage, or a busy life that has limited opportunities to meet people.
John