If you keep an eye on sexuality related trivia like I do, then you may have noticed a few months ago that a French woman successfully sued her husband (and was awarded AUD$13,500 in damages) because he failed to fulfill his duty as a husband to provide sex to his wife during their marriage.
The husband appealed the decision and lost. The ruling and the damages stand.
When I first read about this I was amazed. This sort of situation is very familar to me (as is the reverse). But the French legal system has potentially just set a precident that has absolutely huge implications, at least in their own country.
The first thing that comes to mind is: this opens the flood gates for men, unsatisfied with their sex lives to sue their wives for damages. The second is: what about our right as individuals to say “no”?
The more you pick at this issue the more complex it gets, and I expect that in the short term at least, only the lawyers are going to win from it.
What I do see though is that this ruling (in France at least) puts a spotlight on our relationships and how we treat each other sexually. I recently made a post offering a Master Class in giving great oral sex to women and I think that this court case confirms my thinking. Guys: we need to put a lot more effort into pleasing our partners (and being able to give great oral sex is a much appreciated skill). And it’s not hard to do. Yes it takes effort and a little thought, but honestly it’s not that hard.
What you need is:
- To understand you partner and your own sexuality (what you each like, what you don’t like, what turns you on, what satisfies you)
- A few specific skills (how to give oral sex, how give your partner an orgasm, what she likes when it comes time to have penetrative sex)
- A plan that delivers what each of you need and want
I have had occassion to discuss these issues with women and couples and often it is relatively easy to find ways to help overcome the hurdles. A little bit of understanding, a little bit of effort and flexibility can transform the situation.
I am not a sex therapist, or medial professional, but I do have a lot of real world experience, that I am able to share. I also have the big advantage as a sex worker over a health professional that I am ethically able to demonstrate and directly teach men and women the physical techniques that I use and know.
So, here’s an open invitation to men, women, and couples. Do you want to improve your sex life? If you do, then contact me; post a comment below, send me an email, or give me a call and we can talk about what might work for you. If you don’t think that your partner would want to be involved, don’t worry, we can still talk and find solutions that you can implement on your own.
Lets keep the courts out of our bedrooms and start having better sex!
John.