The Guardian published an article recently with the title “I’m too self conscious about my body to have sex with someone new”. You can see it here:
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/may/09/self-conscious-body-have-sex-someone-new
It’s a short letter from a reader who is 54, recently divorced, wants a new relationship, wants to have sex as part of her life, but is scared of what a new partner will think about her appearance.
It is a very familiar story to me. Many of the women who come to me are in exactly the same boat. They see a date with me as an opportunity to test this theory in a way that is emotionally risk free. I.e. the risk of rejection from me (as a male escort) is low, and they are not putting their self-esteem on the line with someone who they care about.
I was very pleased to see that the comments responding to this article were overwhelmingly positive. For instance:
“I’m a 38 year old man and believe me men won’t be turned off by you, boys might be but I presume you are looking for someone more mature than a teenager in a man’s body.”
“Believe me, my wobbly bits have their own wobbly bits, but once a man is attracted to you – HE DOESN’T CARE!
It’s easier said than done, I know, but I think once you get it over with, you’ll be fine. It’s incredibly liberating to feel comfortable in your skin. And if it should turn a new partner off, it’s his loss, isn’t it?”
I particularly like the second comment above: “… once a man is attracted to you – HE DOESN’T CARE!”. Words of wisdom there. And probably the most important of all. As a (straight) man, I love women, I love the female body, and I love sex. A woman having a perfect body is not what matters to me. “Sexy and attractive” starts in your head, with confidence, and belief in yourself. That’s where I make a connection with a woman – with who she is. Not what she is.
After that, sex just becomes a natural part of that connection. So don’t wait, if you are still worried, book a date with me and try it out. Or, better still, take the plunge and go to bed with that man you have had your eye on!
John.
I love your writings ““Sexy and attractive” starts in your head, with confidence, and belief in yourself”
Thank you SydneyGirl :-) I am glad that enjoy my writing. Here’s to self confidence. May there be more of it in the world!
John.
As a woman who can greatly relate to this woman’s story, I too felt my body was disgusting and that no man would ever find it attractive. After separating from the man I had been with for nearly 30 years, and also being in my late 40’s, I was petrified of the prospect of taking off my clothes for someone else. Let’s face it, after 3 kids and the effects of gravity, things were definitely not where they used to be. That is why I opted to see an escort, no personal attachment, no judgement, and if it didn’t work out I’d never have to see him again. However it turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
From the very beginning I was made to feel nothing but desirable. Every look, every touch made me feel wanted. The ease in which we interacted made me so comfortable, that when the time came to take off my clothes, although apprehensive, I did so eagerly. There was no look of disgust, no grimace at the sight of my imperfections, no criticising comments, only a look of appreciation and want, and boy was I been made to feel wanted. This is how it has been every time we’ve met since.
The confidence in which I can now remove my clothes astounds me. My body is by no means perfect, It bares the scars of my life and those scars are what make me, ME and I’m proud of it. This is what I have learnt from you.
So when the time comes to take my clothes off for someone else, I will do it without hesitation, with pride, and with the knowledge that I am desirable.