Most women who contact me feel somewhat conflicted about the concept of paying a straight male escort (sex worker) for sex.

Our societies inability to grant women the freedom to indulge their sexuality that men are granted is a large part of that feeling I’m sure. Slut shaming, religious judgement, and ideas of “what’s right and normal”, not to mention marriage and raising children bear down on every decision that women make about who to have sex with, when, and how.

So it’s a long road to even reach the point of asking yourself “Do I really want to pay for sex? What does it say about me if I do?”.

I’d like to try to answer those questions.

To the first question my response is “Why shouldn’t you choose to pay for sex if you feel like it?”. We don’t live in an ideal world where we all have solid social networks that bring us a variety of possible partners on a regular basis. More and more we lives that are isolated, dominated by work, and poor in people and time.

We all know the cliche of “Women don’t need to pay for sex, they can get it anywhere.”. For one, this fails to take into account the realities of the world – yes perhaps a woman can, but will it be safe? Will it be any good? Will it be on her terms? Not to mention all of the women out there who don’t necessarily have the confidence to approach a man. Or women with some form of disability. The list goes on.

If sex is something that you value and enjoy that makes you happy then you are denying yourself that happiness for the simple reason that you have no-one to do it with. Paying a male escort like myself is easy to do, safe, and may give you the experience that you are looking for – it’s certainly much more likely to do so than Tinder, or the local pub – and at the end of the day, if you aren’t happy with me and your experience, then I will happily give you your money back!

Which brings us to the next question “What does it say about me if I do?”. The short answer is – nothing negative. The same way that buying a meal at a restaurant says nothing about your cooking skills, or you as a person.

You are allowed to enjoy sex. To want it in a safe environment. To have it with a man who will respect your boundaries. To have it the way you want it. And if that means paying to get those things for now (or long term), then so be it.

If someone was to judge you for that, it says way more about them and their inability to understand your needs and the risks you face as a woman than it does about you.

John.