Killing Kittens, is a “sex club” for women, started in the UK by Emma Sayle and now grown to 40,000 members world wide (now including Sydney). What can I say but “wow”. That’s impressive.

I read about it in this article.

The impressive thing is that Ms Sayle has created a club dedicated to sex for women and it has worked – (some) women actually enjoy it. It defies the stereotypes of women and their sexuality, and it tells us something real about what women want and what they are prepared to try if they feel safe and in control. That’s a really significant discovery.

Sayle’s club has a few rules:

• Members only (AUD $200 per month approx.)
• Only men who are part of a couple can attend
• Men are not allowed to initiate sex, only the women can do that
• All members are vetted for “attractiveness” (I am not too keen on this rule)

So Sayles has worked out the formula that allows (some) women to be comfortable with their sexuality, to engage with it, and to experience sex outside of the traditional sanctioned confines of a monogamous relationship. It’s great to know, because we can absolutely put to rest the notion that “men always/only want sex” but “women need to be in love to enjoy sex”.

It’s simply not true.

The truth is that everyone can enjoy sex. Men and women alike. But our upbringing, our personality, libido, health, stress, and more can all affect when, where, and how we want sex and are able to enjoy it. The problem is that modern life rarely prioritises making us healthy, happy, relaxed, and with time to spare. It’s a battle to pay bills, to raise children, to build careers, and often, just to get along. Sex loses out almost every time.

So, if there is a lesson to be learned from Emma Sayle and Killing Kittens, it seems to be that we need to look after ourselves and make time and space in our lives for our sexuality. This isn’t a new idea, and I am pretty sure that I have said it before. It is nice though to have Sayle’s experiment to support the idea that if we do, then men and women can enjoy sex as and when we want to.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, the upcoming inaugural party in Sydney will cost $1200 per couple to attend!  That’s if you can make the guest list of course.

John.