I was talking to a client recently and she made the comment that one of my best qualities is that I make her feel safe – and as a precursor to intimacy that feeling safe is, for most women, absolutely necessary.
“Being safe” for my clients has always been a priority since I first started working as a male escort for women back in 2010.
It’s why I offer to meet for coffee or a drink in a public place if you are considering making a booking but want to be sure about me before you book.
It’s why I tell anyone who is at all worried that when they see me, they are in charge, and that at any time they can decide to end the booking and leave (and I won’t expect to be paid).
It’s why I don’t take payment for a booking until the end of our session, so you don’t feel any pressure to continue because you have already paid.
It’s why when I see women who are trying to build or rebuild trust in their bodies and with men as intimate partners, we have talked and worked out rules for everything from simply touching to having sex that put them completely in control. And we have then practiced them taking control, telling me to stop what I’m doing, to start again, or do something different so that they can see that I will do exactly what they ask me to.
It’s also why I won’t ever write a “tell all” autobiography – because regardless of how I might obscure my client’s identities, I know that people would see themselves in anything that I write and I never want to make anyone feel that I have exploited them and their booking with me for profit beyond what they paid me for directly.
I take my responsibility to your safety very seriously and I hope that makes the decision to contact me just a little bit easier.
John
I wanted to comment on this from a client perspective. Safety was a key concern for me when I was first considering booking a sex worker. Physical safety was of course paramount, but equally as important for me – discretion…would my privacy be respected and protected? I had researched you John, and another escort who came across as very professional and mature. However, I then found an online article where the other escort was saying that he thoroughly googled his new clients and searched on social media to try and verify they were who they said they were. I was immediately ill at ease reading this, and decided I didn’t want to see him – would he somehow try to publicly expose me? Or contact me inappropriately? Or tweet about me? From my very first contact with you John, I felt ‘safe’ in every sense. You didn’t insist on getting a lot of personal details from me, or require me to fill in any sort of detailed form. You were happy to meet up even before I booked a session so that I could decide if I was comfortable to book a session (forever grateful for that), and even though our first date was a bit nerve wracking for me (no such concerns since!) I felt entirely safe the whole time thanks to you.
Hi SR – thank you for explaining your experience. I’m glad that I could provide you with the kind of security and confidence that you needed.
Let me say once again to every woman considering making a booking with a male sex worker: he does NOT need to know who you are. He doesn’t even need to know your name. It is you who is the vulnerable party, not him and if he doesn’t respect that, then you should move on and find someone who does. You should always be the one who decides how much you divulge.