Advice, please: Should I do it?

Those of you who have browsed my Links and erotic resources for women page (under the Sexuality menu above) would be familiar with Ms Naughty and her various sex positive porn websites for women.

Ms Naughty is based in Melbourne and has been publishing and now creating erotica specifically for women for a number of years.  Some time ago we swapped site links in the spirit of better Google ranking and have been chatting on and off ever since.

I dropped Ms Naughty a line recently and in her reply she mentioned that she is working on shooting an adult movie here in Australia and then asked if I would be interested in working with her. Specifically, putting my body on the line and acting in a shoot for one of her movies.

Firstly let me say thank you Ms Naughty!  It’s a real compliment that you feel I have what it takes.  We aren’t talking about the poorly directed and shot porn that streams out of the US and Europe in such vast quantities these days, but something more subtle, more sophisticated and hopefully altogether more erotic and arousing.  So to be invited to be a part of that is pleasing.

The question now is: should I do it?  One concern that springs to mind is that I risk picking up the label of “porn star”. And I don’t know if that sits well with who I am.

My partner S responded by suggesting that I write this blog post and pose the question to you my readers.  What do you think?  Should I do it?  Do you think that it would be a positive thing for me to do, or a negative thing?

I don’t like the idea of “managing” my “image”. In fact I don’t like the idea of having an image full stop, but there are always perceptions.  I have worked long and hard to show the world who I am and what I value and I don’t like the idea of having that distorted by a label that may not be accurate.

On the other hand, it is people like Ms Naughty who are out there working hard to change erotica, to make it into something more than the mass porn industry creates.  And I firmly believe that is a cause worth supporting …

So I have a dilemma.  Do I put my body and reputation on the line, or do I decline the invitation?

What do you think?  Would you like to see me in well made erotica?


Premature ejaculation and the problem with “medicalising” every little thing

Well, the rain has gone away and I now have a nicer view of the landscape.  One of the things that view revealed was this billboard …

You see them around the place in Sydney regularly if you get around the cities major roads like I do.

They annoy me disproportionately.  Mostly I think because they represent one of the fundamental failings that I think we have as a society when it comes to our sexuality (and our health in general).

Premature ejaculation (which I assume is the “illness” that these people are selling a treatment for) is a physical response to a mental state bought on by incorrect conditioning of young men as they become sexually aware.  It’s not a disease that you need to pop a pill for, or take an “oral strip”, or us a “nasal delivery system” to paint over the symptom without treating the underlying problem.

As I have stated before, I am not a doctor, have not training as such.  But I am quite sure on this topic that for most men with issues of premature ejaculation that chemicals are not an appropriate response.  Why?  Because it is something that I have personally experienced and have personally overcome.  For most men all it takes is a few weeks, to a few months of practice following a simple technique described by Dr Sy Silverberg MD.  A Canadian doctor and sex therapist.  You can see his website and buy his book here:

and you can also buy his book via Amazon:

Just about everything in our society is now viewed in terms of money and having to buy solutions to our problems (and yes I see the irony of me being upset about that!).  There are always things that will need to be bought, like houses, and mobile phones, but the ability to have sex for as long as you and your partner want to doesn’t need to one of them.

All it takes is some self discipline (to follow the technique), some assistance from a loving partner (to help you practice when the appropriate stage is reached) and you will be rid of premature ejaculation and all of the self doubt, guilt, and conflict that it can bring with it.

Ladies, if you have a partner with PE, then you can change his life for the better by encouraging and assisting him to work through this book’s technique.

Men, if you have PE you can improve your enjoyment and satisfaction with sex and that of your partner by getting a copy of this book and making time to re-learn your responses to your partner.

My personal experience was that it took me about two weeks of practice (twice a day) to break my problem with reaching orgasm too quickly.  And the best thing is that you can do it with without spending a cent on drugs or doctors.

Yes you have to pay for the book, but that’s a one time purchase, not a life time prescription.



Shortbus – (erotic) movie review

On the recommendation of a friend (thanks M!) I bought a copy of the movie Shortbus by John Cameron Mitchell last week (on eBay).  It arrived in the mail today, so I sat down with my partner after lunch to watch it.

Shortbus is rated 18+, it is a funny, entertaining movie about a couples councilor and her husband, a gay couple, a dominatrix, a voyeur, and the former major of New York!  It also has more actual real sex (straight, gay, lesbian, masturbation, domination and more) than I have ever seen outside of something rated XXX.

It’s not a movie of sex with a storyline thrown in as an excuse for the sex.  It’s a well written, directed, and produced movie that doesn’t just fade to black when people do what they actually do in real life.  And that, for me, makes the sex even more interesting.

It left us both thinking about sex and sexuality, about how people relate to each other, and how they love and fuck.  It is a great story and worth watching.

If you would like to borrow my copy of Shortbus, just drop me an email and I will see if I can send it to you.  Otherwise you can get your own on eBay for $25 or so.  It’s worth having in your (private) DVD library!